by Trish Williams
CHAPTER
FIVE
~
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Teal’c’s mind was going faster
than the speed of light.
One moment he had been sitting in a
debriefing, still trying to fathom the Pentagon’s edict to capture Kayla, then
he had found out she was General Vidrine’s daughter. That alone had knocked him off-kilter. For not only had he betrayed her, but considering her father was
of such high station on this world, even higher than that of General Hammond, a
part of him feared repercussions should he be forced to face the dark-skinned
Lieutenant General. Now that he had a
chance to think upon it further, she had his eyes. They were the kind of eyes that could peer inside your soul. General Vidrine had the same piercing gaze.
Then in the next moment,
Bra’tac had come through the gate protecting a goa’uld of all things. He thought he would never see the day when
that would have happened. Bra’tac, the
strongest Jaffa warrior he had ever known, had put himself in harms way to
protect a goa’uld they knew nothing about.
So many questions rang through his thoughts that it made his brain hurt
to think about them. But right now,
besides Kayla, the thing that worried him were Bra’tac’s injuries. He’d refused treatment and Teal’c wondered
why.
“Why do you not wish for
Doctor Frasier to examine you?” Teal’c asked Bra’tac.
“I will be fine,” he
dismissed, pressing his way up the steel staircase towards the debriefing
room. Bra’tac gave his former student a
tentative smile.
“Why did this goa’uld
allow you to live?” Teal’c questioned.
“I do not know,” he
said. “She used the ribbon device on me
as a show while her most loyal Jaffa slew those who were loyal to Apophis. She then allowed the host to speak and
implored me to open the Tau’ri stargate.”
“How did you know
Nephthys was not deceiving you?”
“Because she rescued me
from being executed,” he said, stopping to catch his breath. “Nephthys informed me that Apophis was due
to return to Chulak tomorrow and wanted to execute me himself, but her guards
abducted me first.”
“It has been some time
since I have seen any of Anubis’ Jaffa,” Teal’c remarked.
“They are rarely seen,”
he said. “When Nephthys arrived on
Chulak with several Jackal guards, it sent our people into a panic. Many feared Apophis would use them along
with the Ashrak to further slaughter our people.”
Teal’c felt a twinge of
anger as he remembered how Apophis slaughtered so many Jaffa while searching
for the harcesis child. “Anubis
inhabited the body of one of the Tau’ri warriors,” he said. “We had to let him go through the stargate
as the Tau’ri also feared attack by his Jaffa and the Ashrak.”
Bra’tac scoffed. “A most wise move by the Tau’ri.”
“Indeed,” he concurred
with a slight nod of the head. “Does
your symbiote refuse to heal you?”
Bra’tac grinned. “My wounds take longer to heal these days,”
he chortled.
“Answer me a question, my
friend. Nephthys spoke of a great wrong
you committed against her host. Do you
know what she speaks of?” Bra’tac began
to ascend the stairs again, a little more pep in his step this time.
Teal’c winced, the pain
of what he was about to confess tugging at his soul again.
Following Bra’tac up the
staircase, he said, “Nephthys speaks of what transpired with Shan’auc.”
An uneasy silence passed
between them.
“Shan’auc was not far
from death when she came to me,” Bra’tac told him. “The Prim’tah she carried was almost overdue to take a host. But she believed she had turned it against
its own kind. At first I doubted her
theory.”
“We were trained to
believe we could not communicate with our symbiotes.”
“Yes.”
“So how did Shan’auc
convince you?” he asked. That made
Bra’tac stop short of entering the debriefing room.
“I have known each of you
since you were children,” he said, seeming a bit put off. “I had no reason to doubt her word.”
“She was a priestess in
their temple,” Teal’c said, anger suddenly swelling within him. “Almost all of her life was spent in the
service of the goa’uld. And because she
arrives with a theory that can barely be proven, you believed her?”
Bra’tac sighed. “Times are most difficult on Chulak,” he
explained. “Every advantage that can be
used to help free our people must be investigated. I sent Shan’auc to consult the wisdom of the Tau’ri to see if
what she claimed could be proven.”
Something about that didn’t
wash with Teal’c. “She did not tell you
how she communed with her symbiote?” he asked.
“No,” Bra’tac said,
somewhat embarrassed. “Her word was
enough.”
“She died at the hands of
the goa’uld she thought she had turned,” Teal’c growled.
Bra’tac’s expression
fell. “How do you know of this?” he
prompted.
Teal’c was about to
explain when Jack walked up.
“Will you be joining us?”
he asked sarcastically.
“We will join you
shortly, Hassak,” Bra’tac proclaimed with a grin. “Teal’c and I have business to discuss.”
“I’ll keep a seat warm
for ya,” he said, tossing Bra’tac an annoyed look.
“It appears this goa’uld
is quite pleased with her host,” Bra’tac said after Jack had entered the
room. “So again I will ask you, what
was the great wrong you committed against the human female with whom you were
so taken?”
Teal’c looked up into the
corner where a videocamera was perched.
“She obtained irrefutable evidence that Shan’auc and I gave ourselves to
each other,” he said, staring at the floor like a child who knew he was guilty
of doing something he knew he shouldn’t.
“Your old feelings
returned?” Bra’tac prompted.
“Yes,” he said guiltily.
“And the human female
with whom you were so taken?”
“She refuses to forgive
me.”
Bra’tac looked shocked.
“On what grounds?” he prompted.
Sighing loudly, Teal’c
said, “I ended our courtship when it was believed Shan’auc would survive.”
Bra’tac scoffed. “You are too old for such hastiness,” he spat, looking him up and
down with disapproval. “But it is
obvious you are paying for it.”
“I am,” he said
wistfully. “I fear she will never
forgive me.”
“And now a goa’uld
inhabits her,” he said as they entered the briefing room. “She may never be yours again.”
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
“So, Doctor Jackson,”
Hammond said as he settled into his chair at the head of the briefing room
table. “What can you tell us about the
goa’uld in Doctor Porter.”
Daniel cleared his
throat. “I can only tell you what I
know off-hand. Nephthys was the consort
of Seth, also the mistress of Ra and Osiris,” he informed them.
“According to legend, she
is also the mother of Anubis. Her child
by Osiris.”
“Kid not by her husband?”
Jack said with insinuation as he stretched his legs a little. “Talk about scandalous …”
“According to Jaffa
legend, Setesh was incapable of fathering children,” Teal’c lectured.
“So she went somewhere
else,” Sam ascertained.
Teal’c nodded before
continuing. “Among Jaffa, the story of
the animosity between Osiris and Setesh over his involvement with Nephthys is
well-known. When she learned of her
husband’s wicked plot against Osiris, she abandoned him.”
“I take it a system lord
leaving their consort is unheard of?” Davis asked.
“Yes,” Bra’tac said with
a nod. “It is also a disgrace. Yet another reason why Setesh guards and the
descendants are the root of many jokes among the Jaffa.”
“We’ve heard one,” Jack
said, tossing Teal’c a knowing look.
“So how’d she get Osiris to knock her up?”
“The account of that
depends on who you talk to,” Daniel said, wincing at Jack’s crassness. “Some accounts say she disguised herself as
Isis, others say she got him drunk.
Either way, she seduced him and conceived Anubis. With the help of her sister Isis she hid
Anubis away from Set so he wouldn’t kill him.”
“So why did snakeboy put
her in Kayla’s body?” Jack asked.
Hammond wanted to know
the same thing. “Good question,” he
said.
“For a time Nephthys was
Sokar’s new queen,” Jacob said. “It
looks like when Apophis killed him, he inherited his wife.”
“The woman gets around,”
Jack said.
“It was more of a
strategic move.”
“Why?” Sam asked.
Selmak took over. “No
doubt Teal’c has told you of Anubis’ position as commander of the Ashrak.”
“Yeah, he told us,” Jack
snorted.
“Anubis is particularly
attached to his mother. Where she goes,
he follows. And with Nephthys as
Sokar’s wife…”
“Anubis’ loyalty was
pledged to him,” Teal’c interjected.
“From what our operatives
have told us,” Anise added, “it was until he learned of Sokar’s plan to
overthrow the system lords. We believe
that with Apophis taking Nephthys by force, he is trying to coerce Anubis into
joining his camp.”
“Sort of like a hostile
takeover?” Jack surmised.
“Exactly.”
“Anubis doesn’t know of
his mother feeding us information,” Jacob said. “But we assume it will only be a matter of time. Once he finds out …”
“He could send the Ashrak
after her,” Daniel deduced.
“No,” Anise said. “He’d come after her himself.”
“As decreed by the system
lords, the Ashrak remain neutral,” Teal’c explained, shifting uncomfortably
after hearing Anise’s statement. “They
are not to ally with any goa’uld except Anubis. And he is strictly forbidden to band against the system lords.”
“It is also forbidden for
any Ashrak, except for Anubis, to take Nephthys’ life.”
“Why?” Daniel asked.
“There is an old Jaffa
saying,” Teal’c said. “The voice that
sings the lullaby is the force that rules the empire.”
Daniel shook his
head. “Teal’c, that was a little
cryptic. Could you explain a bit…”
“The hand
that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world,” Jack explained
aloud. He smiled proudly at Daniel when
Teal’c nodded in agreement.
“Apophis cannot execute
Nephthys,” Bra’tac said. “For if he does,
the full wrath of Anubis will be focused upon him.”
“And if Apophis gets wind
of what Nephthys has been telling the Tok’ra, he could very well try to kill
her,” Sam said as she gave her father a worried look.
Jacob exhaled sharply
before speaking. “If Apophis has
succeeded in obtaining an alliance with Anubis…”
The phone rang and
Hammond answered it, uttering a few confirming words before hanging up. “Doctor Frasier said Kayla’s cleared to talk
now,” he told everyone. “And to answer
the pressing question, no, she’s not pregnant.”
Everyone let out an
audible sigh of relief. Teal’c’s was
the loudest.
“Well,” Jack said,
smacking the table with his hand.
“Let’s go see what the snake has to say.”
“This is not to be an
interrogation,” Anise demanded as she made Freya’s body rise up from her
chair. “She is a Tok’ra informant.”
“Now see, here we go,”
Jack protested. “Need I remind you that
the host is a member of the SGC? And
from what I remember she didn’t ask to be possessed.”
“Either way it’s a
security risk,” Hammond informed them.
“But given we know the host, I’ve had Doctor Frasier move her to one of
the guest quarters. There will be a
‘round the clock guard posted there until the Tok’ra take her off-world.”
“You’re gonna take the
snake out of her, aren’t you?” Jack prompted, his expression saying the Tok’ra
better damn well comply.
Anise decided Freya would
be best to speak on this. “After we
have obtained the information we need, the decision for her to remain in the
body will be hers.”
“What if the goa’uld
decides it doesn’t want to leave?” Davis asked.
Anise suddenly took
over. “We are wasting precious
time. Nephthys took great risk in
coming here. We must take her back to
Vorash as soon as possible.”
“After we talk to her first,”
Jack ordered. “She came home to us,
remember? You guys just got lucky.”
Bra’tac groaned a little
as he got up.
“Master Bra’tac,” Teal’c
said with concern.
“Perhaps I should consult
with the human doctor after all,” he said, clapping Teal’c on the shoulder.
“Maybe you should go with
him, Teal’c,” Sam advised.
The Jaffa wasn’t
convinced. “I should be present during
the interrogation,” he said.
“Um, I don’t think that’s
a good idea,” Daniel theorized. “We
really need to talk to Doctor Porter and considering she’s still pissed at you,
your presence could cause more harm than good.”
“The goa’uld is quite
aware of your transgression,” Bra’tac concurred. “Remain with me my friend.
Your time to resolve your feelings with the human female will come.”
“You sure this isn’t
going to be too freaky for you?” Jack asked Daniel as he identified himself to
the SFs guarding one of the VIP rooms.
“I don’t think so,” he
said. “If the situation was going to be
too freaky for anyone it would be Teal’c.”
Jack began to open the
door but shut it. “Come to think of
it,” he said, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be with us either,
Davis. After all, you’re the right hand
man for dear old dad.”
Davis gave Jack an
annoyed look. “I need to further assess
the situation and report back to General Vidrine as soon as possible,” he said,
stretching his neck a bit. “You’ve
gotta realize how hard this is on him.”
“He’s sending a goon
squad out here to take his daughter back as a lab rat,” Jack quipped as he
pushed the door open and let the other men follow him in. “I guess that shows just how ‘hard’ he’s
taking all this.”
“The orders go higher
than him,” Davis defended. “And regardless, he’s on a flight here as we
speak.” Jack watched as he shut the
door behind him. Daniel just gave him a
look that said to just shut up and put up with Davis for the time being.
Kayla was sitting on the
edge of the bed, holding a Styrofoam cup as if it were the most precious thing
in the world. She’d removed the brown
robes she arrived in, and was clothed in shimmering purple robes. Jack realized the poor woman had to have
gone through hell with that goa’uld in her.
But he also couldn’t help but remark that Apophis had some extremely good
taste when it came to clothing his women.
Even he had to work hard to breathe normally at the sight of her
cleavage literally popping out of the low-cut neckline.
Oh
what the hell, it isn’t like Teal’c is here to kill me for looking,
he thought.
Jack slowly walked over
to the side of the bed she was sitting on, taking care not to get too
close. With that goa’uld in her, if he
got too close she could crush his windpipe in a heartbeat.
“Mind telling us who you
are?” Jack asked in his best interrogatory voice.
As Kayla looked up at
him, her eyes glowed briefly. “I have told you who we are,” Nephthys said. “Or, more correctly, who I am.”
Jack shifted his weight
to the other leg, trying to ignore the off-kilter feeling he was getting. “Yeah, I remember all that ‘mistress of the
gods’ stuff.” He waved his hands in the
air for emphasis, eliciting a groan from Daniel and head shaking from Davis.
“Perhaps I am not the one
with whom you should speak,” she said with a knowing glance. Then the host shut her eyes briefly.
“Kayla?” Jack asked, not
quite sure if it was her.
“Yeah Jack,” she said
with a sigh. “It’s me.”
“Are you sure it…”
“Dammit, it’s me, okay!”
she barked, making Jack jump backwards a bit.
“Yep, it’s her,” he said
to Daniel and Davis. “Mind telling us
how you wound up with the snake in you?”
“You
mean besides being stripped naked, put face down while some thing burrowed its
way into me?” she prompted, trying not to spill her coffee as she sat up a
little straighter. It was obvious the
memory was not a fond one.
“He means how did you
fall into Apophis’ hands,” Major Davis clarified.
“I know what he meant,”
she said, giving him the evil eye. “All I remember is hearing a noise outside
my tent. And when I went to investigate,
I turn around and something knocked the hell out of me.” Kayla thought for a
few moments, smoothing the fabric of her robes with her free hand. “It was some kind of energy burst. Like someone set all of my nerve endings on
fire.”
“Zat gun,” Jack and
Daniel said simultaneously.
Kayla took another sip of
coffee. “The next thing I know, I’m
being leered at by some dude who looks like this guy I met a reggae club last
year.” She smoothed a hair that had
fallen out of her upswept hairstyle and said, “Imagine my surprise when it
turns out to be Apophis of all people.
Definitely made my day.”
“So, what does Nephthys
want?” Daniel asked.
Kayla took a sip of
coffee, relishing the taste. “You know,
I haven’t had a cup of coffee in so long, I can’t remember. The goa’uld have some kind of drink that’s
like a latte but not all that hot.” She
paused, noticing the anxious look on all of their faces. “Oh yeah, what does Nephthys want?”
The trio of men nodded.
She panned everyone in
the room, taking her time to give Davis a look that said she didn’t trust his
presence.
“Where is Bra’tac?” she
asked with concern.
Jack pulled over a chair
and made himself comfortable on it.
“Frasier’s mending him up a little.
He’ll be fine.”
“Good,” she said, relieved
the former Jaffa master would be okay. “I wouldn’t have gotten off of Chulak if
it wasn’t for him. Well, him and
Nephthys.” She took another sip of
coffee before continuing. “Nephthys is
what you’d call a fence-sitter. She
doesn’t go galloping through the cosmos whacking people like Apophis, or
assimilating people for Jaffa like Hathor.”
They all bristled at the
mention of the goa’uld queen.
Kayla continued. “Her main role is to, um, service who she’s
with and make them happy. And she
hadn’t been too happy with Apophis.”
“I heard he acquired her
in a Viking sort of way,” Daniel said.
He crossed his arms, trying like hell not to remember what Sha’re had
gone through. It was all happening
again, except the goa’uld who inhabited Sha’re did not want to leave Apophis.
“Yeah, but she kept
trying to kill him. Hopefully she
succeeded this time.” Kayla shifted a
little on the bed. “Jesus, what an
asshole. And I thought my ex-husband
was bad.”
“She was trying to kill Apophis?”
Jack commented with a grin. “Well,
Nephthys can’t be all that bad then.”
“Who the hell is Setesh?”
Kayla wondered aloud.
“You mean Seth?” Daniel
asked. “He’s, um…dead.”
Kayla cocked her head
sideways as if listening to a voice only she could hear. “Nephthys thanks you for ridding the world
of her former husband. She didn’t like
him much anyway.” She contemplated
something for a few moments and said, “She also says it’s a good thing Osiris
is still locked up.”
Daniel fidgeted a little,
then looked up at Kayla and said, “Not anymore.”
Kayla took another drink
of coffee then briefly shut her eyes.
“That is impossible,” Nephthys said through her. “He was banished.”
“Well, unfortunately he
got out,” Jack informed her. “And
happened to ruin my fishing trip in the process.” Daniel shot him a look.
“Then your world is truly
doomed. What of my sister, Isis?”
“Also dead,” Daniel
said. “Her stasis jar was damaged.”
Nephthys let a sly smile
cross her face. “My host informs me that you did the equivalent of dropping a
house on my sister.”
“Hail Dorothy?” Jack
asked, hoping he hadn’t just insulted the goa’uld. Not like he gave a damn.
“For that act alone I
have reason to kill you. But Isis and I
had a very tenuous relationship.”
“You seduced her
husband,” Daniel told her, sounding a bit more accusatory than he
intended.
Nephthys made Kayla’s
face smile at the young archaeologist.
“That is her version,” she said, hinting it was more consensual than
legend said it was. “No doubt Osiris
will return to earth and wreak havoc to avenge the death of his queen.”
“Yeah, he uh, mentioned
that,” Daniel said, remembering the entire speech.
“If Apophis doesn’t do it
first,” Jack added.
Kayla downed the last bit
of her coffee, then suddenly laughed out loud.
“This goa’uld’s sense of humor is more twisted than mine,” she chortled,
gently placing the empty coffee cup on the nightstand.
Jack ruffled his hair and
said, “You know you can’t trust that snake in your head.”
Kayla drew up her legs
and tucked them under her purple skirts.
“Jack,” she began in a lecturing tone, “if Nephthys wanted to kill me
she would have done it a long time ago.
I don’t trust the wench as far as I could throw her with one hand but
seeing as I didn’t have a choice I went along with her.” She stretched out her arms then pulled them
upward. Killing me wasn’t her intention,” she said through closed eyes.
“Then what is her
intention?”
“To get to the Tok’ra
before Anubis finds out what she’s been doing.”
“According to the
Tok’ra,” Davis stammered, “Nephthys is responsible for passing on intelligence
information that resulted in the destruction of Apophis’ new mother ship.”
“Still lickin’ my dad’s
boots, eh Davis?” Kayla asked as she opened her eyes. When the young major began to blush, she turned her attention
towards Jack and Daniel. “Apophis is
still pissed about that by the way.
God, and I thought my ex-husband had an inferiority complex. Makes me wonder how the hell Teal’c put up
with him for so long,” she spat.
“Teal’c wanted to be here
but Bra’tac convinced him it wasn’t a good idea.” Jack watched for some spark in her eye. He could have sworn he saw a little of it but wasn’t sure.
“Bra’tac was right,” she
said, wringing her hands in her lap.
“I’m not ready to talk to him.
At least not yet.”
Jack decided to turn the
conversation back to where it needed to go.
“What’s the deal with Nephthys and Anubis?” Jack asked.
“No doubt the Jaffa has
told you of my son’s high station among the system lords,” Nephthys said
through Kayla. Jack winced at the way
she called Teal’c ‘the Jaffa’.
“Oh yeah, he told us,” he
said in a jocular voice. “You do know
who’s the new host for Anubis, right?”
“No, I do not. I have not seen Anubis in many months.”
“Well,” Daniel began,
“Lieutenant Johnson’s got a new gig now if you get my drift.”
“Ah yes, one of this
host’s previous lovers,” she said as if recalling a fond memory. “Not as much stamina as the Jaffa but still
memorable in most respects.”
All three men cleared
their throats.
Jack definitely did not
need that image running through his head. “Um, that’s more information than we
required, but thanks for sharing,” he told her.
“Worry yourself not of
this host,” she said with a soft expression, folding Kayla’s arms in front of
her. “I have kept her protected. And since I have willingly given you my
weapons, I would ask that my Jaffa escort Bra’tac back through the stargate.”
Jack nodded his approval
of her request. “As soon as Bra’tac is
released from the infirmary he is free to go,” he said.
Nephthys gently bowed
Kayla’s head in thanks.
“Daniel?”
“Yeah, Jack?”
“Could you give us a few
moments alone?” he asked. “Take Davis
with you.”
Davis wasn’t too happy
with that. “I still have questions I
would like to ask…”
“They can wait,” Jack
dismissed.
Daniel obviously had some
questions of his own that he wanted to ask, but decided now wasn’t the time to
bring them up. He and Davis left, and
Kayla’s eyes still looked in their direction even after the door had shut
behind them.
“Are the guards really
necessary?” Kayla complained to Jack.
She let out a little yawn.
“You know they are,” Jack
chastised jokingly. “That snake…I mean,
Nephthys still hasn’t officially chosen a side. It’s pretty obvious the Tok’ra don’t trust her completely, but
she’s got them over a barrel.”
“True.”
“Why didn’t you tell me
General Vidrine was your father?” he pleaded.
“For God’s sake, a guy needs to know stuff like that.”
Kayla laid down and covered
her eyes. “I didn’t tell you because of that weird-ass expression you gave me
when you asked me,” she justified. “My
father is such a hard-ass, he once threatened an officer with a court-martial
just for kissing me. And I was
twenty-one years old for Gods sake!”
“Not father of the year?”
“Not even fucking close,”
she said solemnly. “Can we change the
subject?” she asked.
“Sure,” he said. “Don’t you think it’s time you let Teal’c
off the hook?”
Kayla groaned. “Anything
but that.” She pulled out a pillow and
placed it over her face. “Please Jack,
let’s not go there.”
“Oh, we’re gonna go
there,” he said, scooting his chair closer to the bed. “I mean, I’m still pissed at what he did to
you, but I think he’s really sorry. I
mean genuinely sorry. He’s been
suffering quite a bit since you’ve been gone.”
Kayla peeked out from
under the pillow and said, “Maybe he hasn’t suffered enough.”
“You don’t mean that,” he
muttered, then racked his brain to figure out why in the hell he was pleading
Teal’c’s case. After all, he wanted the
strangle the Jaffa for screwing her over.
“The Tok’ra are going to take you back to Vorash soon. Do you really want to leave without
resolving this with Teal’c?”
She was about to answer
but Jack silenced her by holding up a hand.
“Anise says that it’s
gonna be your decision to keep the snake or not. Are you?”
Kayla let out another
sigh. “I haven’t decided,” she said.
“What?” he
exclaimed. “You like having your body
only part-time?”
“Nephthys has years of knowledge,”
she said. “And I…”
“You’re running away,” he
told her, staring her dead in the face.
“You ran away when you volunteered for that mission on P5X-458, and you
ran away by hooking up with Johnson.
You can’t keep running, Kayla.
From yourself or from Teal’c.”
Kayla took the pillow off
of her face. “I have tried pleading his
case to her, O’Neill,” Nephthys said as she sat Kayla’s body back up.
Jack almost fell back out
of his chair. “Shit! Warn me before you let the snake take over,
okay?” When Daniel and Davis had been
in the room he didn’t mind. But being
alone with a goa’uld freaked him the hell out.
“It is a skill I have not
yet mastered. Sharing the body is a
Tok’ra trait,” she explained.
“So you’ve been pleading
Teal’c’s side?”
“Yes, but I have also
told her part of the fault still lies with him.”
“True,” he agreed. “So why don’t you let her tell me that.”
“Of course,” Nephthys
said before giving Kayla back control of her body. “Yes Jack, she’s been pleading Teal’c’s case to me quite
passionately.”
“Why?”
“Well, in Jaffa society
such a thing is merely tolerated. It’s
their culture, a fact of life.”
“And you’re willing to
put up with it?”
“I didn’t say that,” she
corrected with a heavy sigh. “Jack, he
dumped me on an airstrip for God’s sake.
Then I find out later that he slept with Shan’auc while he was still
with me. Of course, I don’t find out
from him about that, I have to get a videotape courtesy of Lieutenant Johnson
that shows them doing the deed.”
“Yeah, I remember seeing
that tape,” he said, sighing heavily.
“The point is, Jack, he
betrayed me. And as much as he’s been
trying to learn our culture, he knew I wouldn’t tolerate something like that,”
she said with a look of righteous anger.
“But he figured since Shan’auc was going to live and he was going to
take off with her, to hell with me.”
“Kayla,” Jack said
softly. “I know you’re angry.”
“Damn straight I am!” she
proclaimed, poking a finger in Jack’s direction.
“And both you and I know
Teal’c’s a tough guy,” Jack said, making sure he had her full attention. “But these last few months have been hell
for him. Not knowing where you were,
being possessed by a goa’uld, possibly having sex with Apophis.”
“That wasn’t a
possibility Jack,” she said distastefully. “It actually happened,
unfortunately. And several times at
that.”
“At least you’re not
pregnant.”
“At least not right now,”
she said softly. “What Doc Frasier
didn’t tell you is there’s still a possibility for conception. But considering having a harcesis carries a
penalty of death, Nephthys won’t let it happen.”
Jack was praying the
goa’uld would hold up its portion of the bargain. “Anyway, back to what I was saying earlier,” he said, his
expression becoming more serious. “I
saw Teal’c’s face when Johnson came through the stargate and told us everyone
on that mission was dead. Including
you.” He pointed towards her, hoping she would understand his point. “It looked like someone stuck a knife
through his heart.”
A slow stream of tears
began to flow from her eyes and Kayla promptly used a corner of her skirts to
stem the flow. She remembered being on
that planet, seeing the horrified look on Teal’c’s face when he realized she’d
been taken over by a Goa’uld. But she
also remembered her anger; an anger at his betrayal of her that threatened to
consume her like a hungry fire.
You
say you want him dead, Nephthys
told her. You have the power to kill
him. Do it.
I…I…
Kayla stammered.
His
life is yours for the taking. I will
gladly assist you in this.
Kayla,
please, do not do this, Teal’c pleaded with her.
My
host cannot help you, Nephthys declared to Teal’c. She does not want to help you.
She wants you dead.
Then
suddenly she heard gunshots.
Kayla bit her bottom lip at
the memory. “He really hurt me, Jack.”
“I know,” he
comforted. “Would it make you feel any
better if I told you that you are one of the few people that intimidate
him? Hell, he’s spoken to you with more
respect than he has his former wife.
And that was even before she effectively divorced him.”
Kayla let out a little
laugh and it made Jack smile. But the
happy expression was short-lived.
“I don’t know if I can
forgive him,” she said somberly.
Jack clasped his hands
together, trying to decide what to say next.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but can’t you at least…try?”
Kayla shut here eyes
briefly. “I believe as you do—it is
time for them to reconcile,” Nephthys said sharply as she sat up. “Fetch the Jaffa immediately.”
“Yes Ma’am,” Jack replied. He stood up and went to leave.
There was something about
Nephthys that made him nervous. Not like his life was in danger or anything but
he…just felt weird. He didn’t feel this
way when Kayla spoke to him but whenever that snake took over, he felt his
brain turning to mush.
Something told him this had happened before,
but he couldn’t figure out where or when.
As he opened the door, Anise was standing on
the other side.
“I would like to speak
with her first,” Anise said, stepping into the suite.
“Okay,” Jack said slowly,
wondering what she was up to now. “I’ve
been dispatched to ‘fetch’ the Jaffa.
So if you’ll excuse me, I have an errand to run for Her Majesty.” He turned on his heel, shoved his hands in
his pocket and strolled down the hall saying, “Fetch, Jack, fetch.”
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
It
had been over a week since she had last spoken to him.
Never
had they intentionally gone so long without speaking with one another. But seeing the videotape had changed all of
that. Now she had hard, concrete
evidence of his indiscretion, and his attempt at turning it around and saying
she was to blame for it had all backfired.
Kayla had not hesitated to let him know she was not a fool, and told him
she never wanted to see his face again.
That
he could not accept.
Teal’c
had gotten word from Sergeant Siler that she’d been at the firing range since
early that morning and would probably still be there if he hurried. That was where he was going. He’d told the officer there on duty that
should she try to leave, do everything within their power to keep her there
until he arrived. All he knew was he
needed to speak with her. He didn’t
know why he couldn’t stand the thought of her being angry with him, nor accept
she never wanted to talk to him again.
This
was not a scenario he was used to in the least. Usually, he did not have to justify his actions to anyone. So why did he keep feeling this wrenching
pain in his heart each time he saw Kayla, only to have her stare at him with
such contempt? She needed to hear him
out and Teal’c thought surely enough time had passed to temper her anger.
Teal’c
knew Kayla saw him coming but her concentration was on the target in front of
her. She fired round after round,
taking painstaking aim before each shot.
He recalled the story of how she’d confronted her husband and his
mistress and for a few fleeting moments, worried she might turn the weapon on
him. He stood off to the side a little
in case she did decide to shoot at him.
That way she’d take out a portion of the divider between her station and
the next. It would at least buy him
enough time to duck and cover.
“Kel
sha, Doctor Porter,” he greeted in a firm but friendly tone.
“Good
morning to you too,” she said flatly, not looking at him as she stopped to
reload. “Set it up again, Lieutenant,”
she called to the duty officer.
Teal’c
figured since she didn’t tell him to go to Sokar when she acknowledged his
presence, things were starting off quite well.
“You
know, my grandmother used to be a drill press operator for Smith and Wesson
during World War II,” she told him as she got into her firing stance. “Family legend has it that when a lynch mob
tried to hang her husband, she shot that rope clear in two from a hundred
feet. And do you know how he thanked
her years later?”
“I
do not know.”
Kayla
put both hands on her M9, raised it and squeezed off three shots in rapid
succession.
“By
running off with another woman,” she said, giving Teal’c an eerily calm look.
“She shot him and his mistress and no one turned her in. Things are much different now …”
“I
have been trying to speak with you,” he said.
“But you choose to avoid me. I
have come to find out why.”
“You’ve
got to be kidding,” she
snorted. Kayla aimed again and squeezed
off four more shots.
“No,
I am not,” he said. “I am indeed quite serious.”
Kayla
put the safety on and slowly set her firearm on the ledge. “Do I look that
stupid to you?” she demanded, finally facing him.
Teal’c
was about to answer, but thankfully his brain told him she’d just posed a
rhetorical question. His brain also
told him it was probably in his best interest to look neutral and keep his
mouth shut.
“Are
you forgetting that no less than a week ago I had, and I use the term loosely,
the ‘pleasure’ of watching you screw another woman?” Kayla tapped her foot a few times, taking pleasure in watching
the Jaffa sweat a little. “Funny, you
never tried any of those positions with me,” she said, raising an eyebrow as if
to mock him.
Teal’c
said the only thing he could say. “I
apologize,” he told her in a deep, soft voice.
Kayla
wasn’t having it. “Just saying ‘sorry’
doesn’t fix it, Teal’c!” she blurted out angrily. “You can’t fix me like I’m a car or something! You can’t just hurt me, say ‘I’m sorry’ and
expect for me to be fine!”
Teal’c
couldn’t help but flinch at the venom of her words.
“I
gave myself to you,” she told him, pointing at herself to make her point. “Let you in to a part of myself I thought I
could never give to anyone again. And
what do I get in return?” Kayla moved
closer and pushed her index finger against his chest. “ I get pushed aside in favor of one of your own kind. I guess when it comes down to it the real
thing is better than an imitation.”
“Kayla…”
Teal’c said, trying to stop her tirade.
In reality, he felt Kayla was hitting too close to where he lived. She’d done it once last week and wasn’t sure
he could endure it again.
“No!”
she demanded. “You think I didn’t hear
Bra’tac’s comment about ‘ at least she could pass for a Jaffa’?”
Teal’c
couldn’t look at her.
“Do
you know the comments people make to me about me being better off with my own
kind?”
Teal’c
still couldn’t look at her. He’d heard the
comments on more than one occasion and found it disturbing that her own kind
would talk so ill of her just for being with him. Usually he was the outsider but in this case, she was the one
bearing the burden of being ostracized.
“Did
you forget the hellish interrogation we both went through courtesy of the good
folks from the NID?!?”
Teal’c
figured he’d had enough.
“Tel
sha kree,” he angrily commanded, not even aware the words had left his lips
until it was too late. And her body
language and facial expression told him he’d said the wrong thing to her
again. She was not Jaffa, and he cursed
himself for not remembering fast enough that the quickest way to piss her off
was to tell her what to do.
“Oh,
I will not be silent,” she sneered, having no problem translating what he’d
just said. When she realized some
people around the firing range were getting into their conversation, she
lowered her voice a few levels. “You know,
Johnson said it would be only a matter of time before you betrayed me. I told him that would never happen. That I trusted you with my life. Nice way to prove me wrong!”
Teal’c
instinctively went to grab her arm, but the icy stare she gave him made him
think otherwise. The contempt with
which she looked at him was unnerving.
It wasn’t always this way. Once,
just his presence would light up her face with a smile. Now, every time he came around, it was as if
a wall of ice was around her. It didn’t
matter how warm he tried to make the words, nothing seemed to be able to melt
the glacier around her soul. Of course
she was angry; her heart had been broken and he was to blame for it.
And
he didn’t know what to do to fix it.
“You
must at least feel something for me to be so angry,” he pleaded, his eyes
reaching out for understanding. All he
could see reflected in hers was hurt and betrayal.
“I’m
sorry,” she said, taking a few moments to study the floor and regain her
composure. “That didn’t come out the
way I meant. And I’m sorry to hear
about Shan’auc’s death. She truly
believed in what she was doing. That’s
more than most of us can say about ourselves.” Kayla went to pick up her
firearm again, but he placed a large hand over hers.
“I
need you,” he said, the sincerity resonating with her. “And I humbly apologize for not realizing it
sooner.”
“You
know, at one time I thought you needed me,” she said softly. “You know, to help you fit in here, but
after this whole incident with Shan’auc I realize you don’t need anyone. And I was just fooling myself when I thought
if I gave you what I thought you needed, I’d get what I thought I needed.”
“That
is not true,” he gently corrected. “I
need you more than you realize. Now
more than ever."
“I
wish I could believe that,” she said, her voice trembling a bit as she tried
her darndest not to let out the tears out that threatened to flow. “You need time to grieve, and I need time to
heal myself. These are things we can
only do alone.”
Teal’c
was confused. “Heal yourself?”
Kayla
traced the veins in the back of his hand.
“You hurt me deeply,” she rasped.
“There isn’t any other way to put it.
And I have to heal myself of that.
You can’t save me anymore than I can fix you.” She slowly removed her
hands from his, and Teal’c instantly regretted the loss of contact.
“You
are indeed wise,” he rumbled, folding his hands behind his back. “Wiser than I in some respects.” He could have sworn Kayla blushed a little.
“Well,
when you’ve taken enough lessons from love’s school of hard knocks, you tend to
learn a few things,” she sighed. “Or as
my grandmother would say, a hard head makes for a soft behind.”
“I
…” he began, his voice hinting he was about to say something that could hurt
her. “I loved Shan’auc. I love her still.”
Kayla
looked at him with sincere empathy. “I
know,” she said, tapping her fingernails against the ledge. “And you shouldn’t feel guilty about that. I
don’t presume to know how long it takes a warrior to grieve, but I’d think that
if you loved someone that much, it’s definitely going to take some time. And only you know how long that time is.”
As
much as he loved Shan’auc, Teal’c wished he could accelerate time. Move forward to a time when Kayla could
trust him again. Or go back to a time
when she trusted him without question, but he knew that was wishful thinking as
O‘Neill would say.
“There
is much unrest on my world,” Teal’c said with a heavy heart. “And I do not know if and when I can return,
but in the meantime, I cannot suspend the course of my life waiting for that
day.” He looked at her earnestly,
hoping his expression conveyed how sincere he was. “I have hurt you and my friends deeply.”
“Damn
straight,” she muttered.
Teal’c
moved a little closer to her but still kept a respectful distance. “Will you wait for me while I grieve?” he
proposed anxiously.
“No,”
she said.
His
countenance fell.
“That’s
the price of gambling with my feelings for you.”
This
was not what he expected her to say in the least. Now he wished he could push time back. Back before he came down here, back before finding out Shan’auc
had been murdered, back before being with her in his quarters.
Back
before he’d walked into the gateroom and saw her standing there.
“I
have truly lost you,” he rasped, casting his eyes downward and cursing his
actions.
“The
future is always uncertain. When you’ve
grieved and I’ve healed, whose to say what will happen,” she said, taking her
lab coat off a nearby hook. Teal’c
assisted her in getting it on. Then her
expression turned a bit more serious.
“I do know this—from now on I’ll see you for who you truly are, not what
my romantic idea of you is. It’s only
fair, and it’s what I should have done from the beginning.”
“Hey
Kayla,” Johnson greeted as he walked in.
“Teal’c,” he said, briefly acknowledging the Jaffa.
“Lieutenant
Johnson,” Teal’c grumbled, not at all thrilled at the timing of his
appearance.
“I just
wanted to let you know I managed to get a pair of tickets to see Tina Turner,”
he informed, obviously beyond pleased with himself. “Three rows from the front in Las Vegas. It’s her last concert
and I know how much you wanted to see her.”
“Yeah,”
she said softly, still looking at Teal’c.
“I do.”
“Have
you eaten yet?” he asked, stepping in front of the Jaffa.. “I was on my way to breakfast before my
briefing. Thought maybe you wanted to
join me.”
“Sure,”
she said flatly. After checking her
firearm back in she followed Johnson to the door. Teal’c knew she had to know he was still watching.
“Is
there some sort of human ritual for which I may ask your forgiveness?” he
asked, an edge of urgency and placation in his voice. Surely there must be something he could do to salvage this. He was a warrior—there was no problem he
wasn’t capable of solving somehow.
“No,”
she said, her eyes meeting his crestfallen expression.
Teal’c
watched as she turned to leave with Johnson, telling himself that this was not
how things should have worked out.
“Kayla,
hear me,” he said, but before he could say anything else, Johnson turned and
gave him a stern look.
“You
made her wait,” the SG-3 marine said.
“Now you will have to wait.”
With
Johnson behind her, Kayla gave Teal’c a final fleeting glance before
disappearing from the room.
And
possibly his life.
Teal’c walked into the guest
quarters where Kayla, or rather, Nephthys was currently staying until the
Tok’ra took her off-world. He was
profusely grateful to Jack for telling him Kayla wanted to see him. That is, until he clarified that it was
Nephthys who wanted to see him, not Kayla.
So, with mixed feelings, Teal’c had made his way to see what this
Goa’uld wanted with him. He walked in
and saw Anise’s host, Freya, there with Kayla and knew something was afoot.
Anise’s host shut her
eyes briefly so she could come forth. “I
was just leaving,” Freya said apologetically.
Teal’c could tell she was
concealing something, but did not voice his suspicion. It wasn’t unheard of for goa’ulds to
conspire together. He didn’t care
whether they were Tok’ra and considered themselves different from the
goa’uld. As far as he was concerned,
all goa’uld sought power and the Tok’ra had done their share of ruthless acts
to further their cause.
As the door shut behind
him, he turned to see Kayla’s back towards him. She had changed of out of her robes into a long, white silk
nightgown than came down to her feet.
He couldn’t stop himself from watching as she admired her host’s body in
a full length mirror nearby. The gown
had small straps that crossed in the back, causing the fabric to drape
suggestively low on her back. Teal’c
had seen the gown on Kayla before, and the memories it drudged up made his body
respond instantly. In the full-length
mirror, he could see Nephthys smile at his presence.
“If I had this I would
not have needed to fill Osiris up with strong drink,” Nephthys said, putting
Kayla’s hands on her hips.
Teal’c figured it would
be safer to stick with what he knew.
“According to Jaffa legend you turned into Isis and tricked him,” he
recounted.
“I see some things about
men are still the same,” she commented, adjusting her host’s breasts within the
gown. “When you get something on your
terms it is called conquest, but when you succumb to something you call it
trickery.” Nephthys arched Kayla’s
eyebrow, noticing Teal’c had no defense to her allegory.
Clearing his throat, he
said, “You requested my presence.”
Nephthys turned and
looked at him seductively, knowing full well he was caught between his mistrust
of her and the growing desire to be with her host. But, knowing warrior Jaffa as she did, he would never admit to
having problems controlling his feelings.
And this Jaffa, known to her kind as the Shol’va, obviously wanted
something from her and Nephthys figured she could use it to her advantage. After all, he had turned against a Goa’uld
she hated more than any other.
“Now I see why this host
is so conflicted,” she said observantly as she approached him. He tried to avoid looking at her, but was
failing miserably. “When Osiris
betrayed me, I was also caught between wanting to kill him and wanting
something else...” Nephthys stopped in front of him, her eyes drifting down to
the obvious sign of his desire then back up to see what his reaction was.
Teal’c cleared his throat
again, trying not to give in to what his body was screaming for. “You summoned me and I have appeared,” he
declared.
“Yes,” Nephthys replied,
her tone turning more business-like.
“It is necessary and desirable that you and this host reconcile.”
Teal’c wondered why. And since when was a goa’uld interested in
its host’s former relationships? “Why
should I trust you?” he asked edgily.
“You know as well as I do
I could have killed you easily, but I did not,” Nephthys told him. “All of your instincts as a warrior told you
I was not using lethal force.”
Teal’c knew that was the
truth. She could have killed him and
Jack if she wanted instead of leaving them on the planet. Instead, she’d only knocked them
unconscious. Watching as she made
herself comfortable in one of the leather chairs in the seating area of the
room, he wondered just why she’d left them alive.
He
was on his knees, caught in the grips of the ribbon device again. Teal’c could feel his mind being probed,
distorted, invaded. The pain was
intense and he knew it would only get worse.
His only hope was to get through to the host somehow.
Kayla,
please, do not do this, Teal’c pleaded with her.
My
host cannot help you, Nephthys declared to Teal’c. She does not want to help you.
She wants you dead.
Then
suddenly he heard gunshots.
“You wanted to kill me,”
he growled.
Nephthys just smiled at
him.
“I have no desire to shed
blood on this world of my host for I have no quarrel with the Tau’ri,” she
said, stroking the soft arms of the chair like she would a lover’s. “And if Apophis is allowed to continue in
his bloodlust it is only a matter of time before he returns. My loyalty lies with the Tok’ra now.”
“Does it?” he prompted,
his voice laced with insinuation. “All
goa’uld seek power. What is it that
makes you so different?”
Nephthys shot him an
angry look then regained her calm demeanor.
“You should really be thanking me,” she chastised. “Were it not for my plans to join the
Tok’ra, this host would still be at Apophis’ side. The anger she has for you was more than enough reason to make her
stay with him.”
“She would never betray
her world,” he snarled.
“No, she would not. But if I were as most goa’ulds are, that
would not have made the difference, would it?”
Nephthys crossed Kayla’s legs, knowing she’d won this portion of the
argument.
Teal’c paced around a bit
then spoke what was really on his mind. “You forced her to give herself to
Apophis,” he alleged.
“Force was not
necessary,” she said with a smirk. Teal’c
was not amused.
“I refuse to believe she
did so willingly. It was you who forced
her.”
“I did no such thing,”
she protested, choking off a laugh. “If
anything I protected her.” Nephthys
gave him a coy look. “So typical of
men. You are all so self-absorbed in
your own sexual prowess you find it unfathomable a woman could be pleasured by
another man.”
Another assault to his
ego Teal’c didn’t like. “She is
human. No other man could please her as
well as a Jaffa,” he declared, unintentionally puffing out his chest a
bit.
“No other man, yes, but
Apophis is a god and you are just…a Jaffa.”
Teal’c didn’t take that
too well. “He is a false god,” he
sneered.
“A false god who has
pleased your woman quite well,” she said, pleased at his anger. “Perhaps even better than you?”
Teal’c glared at her.
Nephthys clicked her
tongue as she admired his body. “It has
eaten away at you, hasn’t it?” she cooed.
“So much so you have made yourself believe she would never betray you that
way. The way you betrayed her.”
“These are not her
words.”
“No, but they are her
thoughts.”
“I loved Shan’auc,” he
proclaimed. “I betrayed no one.”
“Really?” she prompted,
hinting she knew something he didn’t.
“So you feel you were entitled to this indiscretion because you…loved
her? And then when your indiscretion is
brought to light you try to lay the blame on this host. So typical.”
Teal’c shuddered inwardly
at Nephthys’ commentary. True, he was
more upset at his betrayal of her being revealed. He’d admonished himself numerous times that it would have been
more honorable to admit what he’d done instead of just letting it lie. Instead he’d torn into her about having to
use the Tau’ri birth control devices, how disrespectful she was compared to Jaffa
females, how she didn’t truly understand what it was like for him to be an
alien in her world. He threw everything
he had at her to keep her from telling him what he already knew.
That the ‘cover up’ of
the incident was more hurtful than the act itself.
“You betrayed yourself,” she declared. “The kind of love you speak of, losing
yourself in the recall of fond memories?
Willing to walk away from all you have built in order to serve some
self-righteous need to be puffed up?” Nephthys wagged a finger at him. “That is not true love.”
“And I assume you know
what that is?” he challenged.
The look on her face said
she more than knew the answer.
“True love is a call to
ripen,” she explained, drawing upon her thousands of years of experience. “It is the most difficult task of all. A task for which all other work is merely
preparation. And when Shan’auc
appeared, the ease of being with her was more appealing than the constant work
required to be with this host.”
Nephthys could tell she’d struck a nerve. “Admit it, Jaffa,” she said seductively. “You are not without such a weakness.”
Teal’c looked around in
every direction as if he’d never seen ceiling, walls and carpet before. He remembered how being First Prime had been
everything to him, and how he had wanted Shan’auc at his side for that
inevitable day. They had planned for it
to be that way since they were children. That is, until she was chosen to go to
the temple. He knew it was a great
honor, especially for a female, to be chosen to serve the gods by carrying
their young and fostering the religious life of their world, but that meant she
would never be able to carry his young, and he remembered the righteous anger
he felt about it when they parted ways.
On that day his innocence
about the ways of love had been lost.
He had felt betrayed, disappointed, and a host of other things he
couldn’t remember because so much time had passed. And seeing her again, even for such a short period of time she
had left in her life, could put him back at that place of innocence before
reality crashed in and spoiled it.
Being with her, giving himself to her that night had made him feel like
he truly belonged somewhere.
And it had been way too
long since he had felt that way. At
least in the purest sense.
Shan’auc was the fantasy,
but Kayla was the reality. The reality
of his situation was that Earth was his home now. Granted he didn’t fit in perfectly, but he was finding ways. And being with Kayla was one of those ways
of fitting in. The more time he spent
with her, the more he felt he did belong.
True, the ways of courtship among the Tau’ri were strange, confusing and
downright frustrating at times, but it gave him a sense of pride and
accomplishment when he got something right.
When the NID had ruthlessly interrogated them both about their
relationship, she stuck by him, but when Shan’auc appeared with a way to
possibly fight the Goa’uld, he abandoned her.
Teal’c finally found the
strength to face Nephthys’ host. “I
wish to speak with Kayla,” he asked.
“She is listening.”
“I wish to hear it from
her.”
Nephthys looked at him
almost tenderly; so much so Teal’c thought the goa’uld had relinquished control
to Kayla. “Do you wish to reconcile with this host?” the goa’uld asked, proving
Teal’c wrong.
“Yes,” he said with
unabashed emotion.
“And if I assist you in
this matter, what will you give me in return?”
Teal’c thought for a few
moments. He couldn’t become a Jackal
guard, he couldn’t be used as a host, and he most definitely wouldn’t serve a goa’uld.
“I have nothing to give you,” he told her, truly wishing he did.
Nephthys
smiled as if picking up on his feelings.
“On the contrary,” she assured, closing her eyes. “You have more to give than you know.”
“I do not know of what
you speak …”
“Nephthys?” Kayla asked,
shaking her head. She looked around
wildly, as if the goa’uld would appear out of thin air. It took her awhile to realize Nephthys was
going to let her figure out this one for herself.
“Kayla, I…” he began.
“What?!?” she snapped,
finally noticing that Teal’c was there for real and it wasn’t a figment of her
imagination. “You want forgiveness from
me?”
“Yes,” he said calmly.
“Nephthys has been
pleading your case to me. She doesn’t
understand why I couldn’t accept your little liaison with Shan’auc.”
“And I cannot understand
why you would willingly submit yourself to Apophis,” he accused, regretting the
words a soon as they left his lips. His
mind reminded him that according to the Tau’ri, he was suffering from ‘foot in
mouth’ disease. Again.
Kayla was so angry she
jumped straight to her feet. “Do you
think I had a choice?” she demanded, knowing full well he knew she didn’t. “Granted this goa’uld isn’t as malevolent as
Apophis, she still has her own agenda.
And I had no choice but to go along with that agenda.” She went and stood face to face with him,
not at all intimidated by the near eight inch height advantage he had over
her. “You, on the other hand, had a
choice. And you chose to betray
me. So don’t you dare tell me that what
I was forced to do with Apophis was the same as what you did with Shan’auc.”
“Being with Shan’auc in
that way was a mistake,” he confessed, looking down into her eyes. He went to touch her, but changed his
mind. “And I am sorry for how it came
out. There is not a day that goes by in
which I do not curse my short-sightedness.”
Kayla opened and closed
her mouth a few times, not quite sure what she wanted to say. Instead, Teal’c watched as she walked around
in small circles, the hem of her gown sweeping the floor as she went. He remembered she would call this her
‘thinking space’. It was a ritual she would unconsciously do when she was
trying to figure something out. He
hoped with all his being she would figure out he was truly sincere.
“You know,” she wondered
aloud, “Apophis would have let me reduce Earth to ashes if I wished it. He would have done anything for me. ”
Teal’c intercepted her
mid-circle, grasping her upper arms with both hands. “Do you not realize that I have love for you?” he pleaded. Kayla answered by striking him in the chest
with one of her hands.
“Don’t say something you
don’t mean!” she declared.
“Look upon me!” he
demanded, his grip tightening on her enough to hold her, but not enough to
hurt. “Do I appear to say such a thing
to you insincerely? Can you honestly
tell me you do not have love for me?”
The words were on her
tongue, this he knew. She was fighting
the hurt that was preventing her from telling him what he wanted to hear. All he needed for absolution was for her to
say she loved him as well, but what he got were silent tears that began to
stream down her face.
“You hurt me!” she
wailed, trying to wrench out of his powerful grasp. “What makes you think you have the right to do that!”
I
had no right, he thought.
“I made a mistake,” he conceded.
“A mistake I have regretted every day.”
“Let me go!” she pleaded,
but Teal’c knew she didn’t want him to.
He knew her strength and she wasn’t even using half of it to break
away. Even when he loosened his grip
she didn’t pull out of his grasp.
The door banged open
suddenly.
“Is everything alright in
here, sir?” the airman asked Teal’c as he peeked around it.
“Yes,” Teal’c said.
“No!” Kayla said, then
she shook her head. “No, no, no,
damnit, leave me alone! I don’t want to
talk to him.”
The airman wasn’t quite
sure. His gaze swept from the unusually
unsettled Jaffa to the obviously upset woman standing in front of him. “Sir, are you sure things are fine?” he
reiterated.
“They will be,” he assured.
“Doc Porter, are you sure
you’re okay?”
Kayla wiped the tears
from her eyes and said, “I’ll be fine, airman.”
“And unless I
specifically call on you for assistance, no one is to enter. Is that understood?” Teal’c added.
“Yes, sir,”
the airman said as he shut the door.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
[Chapter
One] [Chapter
Two] [Chapter
Three] [Chapter
Four] [Chapter
Five] [Chapter
Six]
~ * ~ * ~ * ~