Picture 11 After washing your hands once more pick up the tray your turkey was in. Remove the last of the packaging and give the tray a nice wash. This needs to be done delicately. Although  your are heating your oven up almost till it goes nova this will only kill bacteria and bugs. A dash of water will remove any nanobots or inter-phasic organisms that might survive a solid roasting. Time Index: 02.12
Picture 12 The next step in turkey preparation is an interior anatomical scan used to measure capacity for stuffing and to check for foreign objects. This can be achieved in a number of ways. A simple method is a modified Z-scanning technique using a frequency coupled dye laser system to reconstruct a 3D image of our turkey's insides. Another way is to ram your hand into the turkey through its neck cavity and feel around. Time Index: 02.31
Picture 13 Upon finding any mystery objects have a quick look at them before tossing them aside for later use/study. If they look like giblets they might be. But they may also be something, almost anything else. Answers on a postcard but trash the 'giblets' anyway. Time Index: 02.46
Picture 14 Quick!  While the  camera's not looking. Wash your hands again!!  Time Index: 02.55
Picture 15 Before the next step take a moment to appreciate the raw flesh your turkey is providing for the glorious feast. Stretch him out and admire. Hmm, looks good. If your camera operator is vegetarian, vegan or alien they may want to look away. Time Index: 03.05

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