TODAY RIG AND BATMAN WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY TO CLAIM A SHITPIT MAFIA MESS UP AUSTRALIA DAY. FIRST THEY WENT TO WAREHOUSES AND BATMAN STOLE A PIECE OF WOOD AS HE SNUCK INTO ONE. THEN THEY TOOK PHOTOS OF THEM THROWING STOLEN CRATES OFF BRIDGES AND THEN BATMAN WENT UP TO A SIGN THAT SAID FLOWERS $6.90 AND CHANGED IT TO FLOWERS $9:60. THEN THEY HEAD THROUGH THE SEWERS WHERE THEY TOOK PHOTOS OF THEM WONDERING UNDER THE SEWERS. THEN BATMAN STOLE A NEWSPAPER FROM A HOUSE AND PUT IN THE DRAIN. HE CLOGGED IT UP. LATER BATMAN AND RIG WENT DOWN THE STREET. THEY SAW A PEICE OF SHIT CAR AND DECIDED TO TRASH IT. THEY SMEARED SLURPIES ON THE WINDOWS AND ROOF. THEY SHOVED AND UMBRELLA ON THE ROOF ANF STUCK PANTHLETS TO THE STICKY WINDOWS. THEY THEN LIT A BAG OF DOG SHIT ON SOMEBODY'S DOOR STEP. THEY TOOK PHOTOA OF THE DISTRUCTION. THEY ALSO LIT A BAG OF COFFEE, WEATBIX AND BBQ SAUCE ON SOMEBODIES FOOT STEP. THEY WERE FORCED TO RUN AS THE OWNER OF THE HOUSE WENT PYSCHO. THESE PHOTOS WILL COME IN SOON!
MARKETING IN THE MALL 21/02/02
AFTER A HARD DAY BATMAN AND THE MASTER HIMSELF MET AT THE LOCAL SHOPPING CENTRE. THEIR BATMAN HANDED OUT SEVERAL LEFLETS EXPLAINING THE SHITPIT MAFIA. HE ALSO HID THEM IN BIRTHDAY CARDS. UNDER SHOPPING ITEMS, IN MAGAZINES AND EVEN STICKING THEM TO THE BACK OF CUBICAL DOORS. THIS WAS AWARDED BY A FORMAL CLAP FROM THE MASTER.
BILL PROCLAIMS HIS WORD 21/02/02
SOME OF THE MAFIA MEMBERS WHERE CONGRAGATING AROUND THE PIT. WHEN ALL TIME RIVAL BILL (THE JANITOR) SHOWS UP. PREVIOUSLY WE HAD KICKED A SEAT DOWN. HE CAME RIGHT UP TO BATMAN AND SAID HE HAD TO REMOVE THE SEAT SO THAT HE COULD CLEAN OUT THE PIT. BILL TRIED CLEANING OUT THE SHITPIT BUT HE COULDN'T IT WAS TO GROSS. HE NOW REFERS TO THE DRAINS AS PITS ASWELL.
MAFIA ATTACKS DOCTOR'S HOUSE AGAIN 07/02/02
ELF AND DERANGED HAD A DEVIOUS IDEA THEY SAW THE DOCTOR'S LETTER BOX. AT FIRST THEY STARTED KICKING IT. THEN ELF POURED 1.5 LITRES OF SOFTDRINK IN IT. THIS FLOODED IT. THEN ELF AND DERANGED KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF IT WHILE MIFF AND BATMAN STOOD BACK AND LAUGHED. THEN FINNALLY THE INTEIRE LETTER BOX (WHICH WAS BOLTED INTO THE GROUND CAME OUT). ELF PUT THE BOLTS INTO THE LETTERBOX TO MAKE THE MAN KNOW THAT HE HAD BEEN ATTACKED THEN HE STUCK A POSTER IN IT SAYING TEENAGE MUTANT NIGGA TURTLES. THEN WE GOT THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.
FLOOD 05/02/02
IT HAD RAINED REPEDITLEY AT THE SCHOOL WE WERE BLOCKING DRAINS AT. UNAWARE THE DRAINS WERE FILLING UP WE WENT TO BUSINESS AS USUAL. ONCE WE WENT OUTSIDE WE HAD REALISED WE HAD FLOODED THE ENTIRE SCHOOL. RUBBISH FLOWED FREE THROUGH ALL THE DRAINS AND HAD BLOCKED THEM SO THE WATER COULD NOT ENTER. HUNDREDS OF COCKROACHES EXITED THE DRAINS HEADING FOR PEOPLE HAVING THEIR LUNCH. THESE CAUSED HAVCK AMONST THE INNOCENT. THE WATER HAD FLOODED ALL THE PATHS ABOUT 2 INCHES DEEP AND SCREWED UP THE WHOLE SCHOOL AREA. WHEN I INTERVIEWED MOSES ABOUT THIS HE SAID "I AM VERY EXCITED AND IT IS QUITE AMUSING!", THE SCHOOL BROUGHT IN A CLEAN UP SQUAD WITH GIANT BROOMS TO SWEEP THE WATER. THIS WAS PROCLAIMED ONE OF THE GREATEST DAYS IN SHITPIT HISTORY. THE MASTER EVEN GAVE IT A FORMAL CLAP!
HAMMER ATTACK 04/01/02
IT WAS THE HOLIDAYS AND BATMAN DECIDED TO SKATE DOWN TO THE LOCAL SCHOOL. UPON ARRIVAL HE NOTICED A ROUNDED HAMMER ON THE GROUND. THERE WAS ALSO A DRAIN NEAR BY. BATMAN REPEDETLY BASHED THE DRAIN IN WITH THE ROUNDED SIDE OF THE HAMMER. THEN HE WROTE ABOVE IT SHITPIT MAFIA IN BLACK TEXTA. THERE IS A PHOTO OF THIS ATTACK ON THE DAMAGE PAGE.
BRICK MISSING 13/12/01
I WAS SITTING NEXT TO FOREHEAD SLAPPER. WE WERE SITTING BEHIND A BRICK WALL AND PEOPLE CONTINUED TO BASH IT FOR A RESPONSE. FOREHEAD SLAPPER THOUGHT OF A DEVIOUS IDEA. HE STOLE MY METAL RULE AND JAMMED IT INTO THE WALL. HE TOLD ME HE IS GOING TO MAKE A COMMUNICATION LINK TO THE NEXT CLASSROOM. HE DRILLED THROUGH MILLIMETRE AT A TIME.
AT ABOUT 2:50 pm THE RULER SLOWLY SMASHED THROUGH THE WALL. THERE WAS A HOLE IN THE WALL. WE SLIPPED A NOTE THROUGH TOP TELL THEM TO COMMUNICATE. WITHIN A MINUTE THE NOTE RETURNED. WE HAD CREATED A COMMUNICATION LINK. FOREHEAD SLAPPER DRILLED THROUGH 71/2 CM OF BRICK.
YOU HAVEN'T WON THE WAR 06/12/01
ON THE 6th OF DECMEBER 2001 A SOLDIER CROSSED THROUGH OUR LINES. WE WEREN'T THERE AT THE TIME. OUR SORCES TELL US THAT MANY PEOPLE HAD BEEN COMPLAINING TO THE JANITOR BILL THAT THERE WAS A DISGUSTING SMELL COMING FROM THE DRAIN, AND THAT IT WAS UNBEARABLE AND MAKING THEM NOT WANT THEIR LUNCH. THE BILL PUT ON CHEMICAL PROTECTION GLOVES AND APPROACHED THE SHITPIT. HE SLOWLY EMPTIED ALL THE GARBAGE FROM IT INTO A BIN. HOWEVER THE BIN STUNK OUT THE WHOLE SCHOOL (WHICH WAS THE GOOD SIDE OF THINGS). HE TOLD US BEFORE "IF YOU LITTLE SHITS DON'T STOP PUTTING SHIT DOWN THE DRAIN I WILL REPORT YOU". HOWEVER WE IGNORED HIM. SO BILL POURED 4 LITRES OF INDUSTRIAL WASTE EATER DOWN THE DRAIN. THIS MADE THE DRAIN SMELL NICE. MANY OF US WERE ABOUT TO GIVE UP HOPE. BILL THEN ATTACHED A DOUBLE LAYER OF FLY SCREEN TO THE DRAIN SO WE COULDN'T GET INTO IT. (RECENTLY THIS SCREEN HAS BEEN RIPPED OFF). WHILE MANY WERE MORNING THE MASTER WAS CELEBRATING. HE EXPLAINED THAT WE STILL HAVE THE SCHOOL'S WATER AND SEWAGE SYSTEM BLOCKED IN THE PIPES AND IN A MATTER OF TIME IT WILL BLOW UP IN THEIR FACES. THEN THE MASTER WENT ON TO SAY "ON THE 6TH OF DECEMBER EVERY YEAR ALL THE MEMBERS WILL CREATE A MINUTE OF LOUDNESS" "THIS IS TO CELEBRATE THAT BILL THINKS HE HAS BEATEN US BUT HE HASN'T WE HAVE TRICKED HIM"
AS WE STARTED FILLING ANOTHER DRAIN WITH RUBBISH THE MASTER SAID "HE MAY HAVE WON THE BATTLE, BUT HE WILL NEVER WIN THE WAR!"
MAFIA ATTACKS DOCTOR'S HOUSE 31/11/01
IT WAS A RAINY FRIDAY AFTERNOON WHEN SEVERAL MEMBERS OF THE SHITPIT MAFIA BECAME BORED. MIFF, ELF, DERANGED AND BATMAN DECIEDED TO ATTACK AN OLD CHINESE DOCTOR'S HOUSE.ELF WENT BEHIND THE TREES AND GOT HUNDREDS OF BERRIES. WE FIRST STARTED THROWING THEM AT HIS WINDOWS. THE POOPED A BLACK GOO EVERY WHERE. THEN WE SMEERED THEM ALL OVER HIS GARAGE DOORS AND WROTE NO WOODS AND SHITPIT MAFIA. THE ALL OVER HIS SIGN. ELF THEN GOT A RED SKIN FROM OUT OF HIS MOUTH AND STUCK THE SLIMY THING IN BETWEEN HIS SIGN WE THEN LEFT ON THE BUS.
RANKINGS. SOME MEMBERS HAVE BEEN DERANKED AND UPRANKED
THE MASTER PROCLAIMS DEC 06
ALL SHITPIT MAFIA WEBSITES ARE ALL LICENCED TO THE SHITPIT MAFIA CODE. ANY BREACHING OF THIS CODE WILL RESULT IN HEAVY FINDS UP TO $5000 AND/ OR IMPRISONMENT.
THIS IS A MARKETING CAMPAING BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SHITPIT MAFIA.
COPY RIGHT 2002
