| Clementinian Allies |
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| This is Her Majesty Beatrix Wilhemina Armgard; Queen of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, Princess of Orange-Nassau, Princess of Lippe-Biesterfeld. Her and her nation are the Clementine's staunchest allies. They have been with us through thick and/or thin and vice versa. |
| This is the sole known Clementine of the MLB, Roger Clemens. Clemens is the pitcher for the New York Yankees and, in case you care to know, he bats and throws right-handed. Clemens is much-admired in the Clementine society. He has managed to recruit the population of his hometown, Dayton, Ohio, into the Clementine family. He also gives away free Yankee tickets to any Clementine. |
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| Mark Twain, real name Samuel Clemens, was the most prestigious Clementine of his time. He sparked the anti-Tangelo movement through subtle messages in his works, primarily The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Legend has it that he ate nothing but clementines in his dying days and was buried holding a clementine in his hands. |
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| The true secret to Jared Fogle's success? It wasn't Subway sandwiches after all! In fact, Jared was the very first person to successfully lose weight using the Clementine Diet. Greed eventually overcame him when Subway, in a desperate attempt to boost sales, offered Jared large sums of money and a lifetime supply of free subs to endorse the franchise. We must admit, this was a dispicable blow to the Clementines, but Jared was officially pardoned by Kaiser Madame Clementine in June 2003, so it must be OK. Jared is also the keeper of The Tale. It resides in a nice mahogany frame over his bed. |
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| Thomas Jefferson (founder of the Tangelos) may have made the Louisiana Purchase, but was he man enough to actually explore his new land? NOOOO. Sacajawea was the one to help Jefferson's little henchmen, Lewis and Clark, through the new territory. How's THAT for Clementine power? |
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