| Clementines vs. Tangelos There are many differences between the glorious Clementines and the wretched Tangelos... Clementines taste magnificant. Tangelos have the mildewy taste of death. Clementines are a polite, social fruit that enjoys the company of others. Tangelos are awkward and reclusive, the black sheep of the mandarin family. Clementines are commonly grown in Spain and Africa. Tangelos are commonly grown in the depths of hell. Clementines have a sweet, seedless, pulpy center. Tangelos have a cocaine-laced, rotten, seed-packed center. Clementines have the whimsical smell of heaven. Tangelos smell like purple and crap. Clementines are smooth and hairless orange spheres. Tangelos are deformed and have a thick coat of gnarled, greasy hair. Clementines are as thrist-quenching as freeze pops. Tangelos are as thrist-quenching as a glass of sand. Clementines are like Chewy Gobstoppers. (That's a good thing.) Tangelos are like purple Sprees. (That's a very bad thing.) If Clementines made a noise, they would quack pleasantly like ducks. If Tangelos made a noise, they would honk annoyingly like geese. Clementines are as relaxing as a day at the beach in New Jersey. Tangelos are as tiring as biting your feet. |