 Editor's LetterJuly 2002...hard to believe its already half way through the year, isn't it? In July, the USA celebrates their independence from England and Canada has a similar celebration. I remember once as a kid we were staying in Sault Ste Marie, Michigan and we watched the Canadian fireworks on July 1 and then the US fireworks on July 4th. That was pretty awesome. July is a month of celebrating independence for many people. My hope is that if you were in a bad or abusive marriage and you got out you are also celebrating. Although I will touch on America's independence in this issue, my main focus will be on abuse and how to break free. If you are or know of someone who is experiencing domestic violence or other forms of abuse, please feel free to share this with them...male of female. As we all know there are both men and women who are being abused in this society. Many men will not admit to it for fear of being labeled weak, but it does exist and is happening. Many people are also being abused by their same sex partners so we cannot assume if a woman is being abused its by a man, or vice versa. Many are not even experiencing the physical abuse, but maybe are being abused in non-physical wasys, such as through economics or isolation. These are all good reasons to seek help. If a person can get help through couseling and it actually works, then I say "more power to them" but there are alternatives for people to leave their abuser. Thankfully there are domestic violence shelters...although most are geared towards women sufferers. Because most who are suffering domestic abuse are women I will refer to the sufferers as women for the rest of this e-zine, but please remember that men also suffer abuse and I am not excluding them.I hope this issue will help someone to free themselves from abuse. It is my ultimate wish and desire. Happy reading. Your editor, Sande 
PERSONAL BILL OF RIGHTSYOU HAVE THE RIGHT��to put yourself first sometimes�to ask for help or emotional support �to protest unfair treatment or criticism �to your own opinions and convictions �to make mistakes until you get it right �to let someone solve her/his own problems �to say "no"�and/or�"no, thank you." �to disregard the advice of others and follow your own �to be by yourself even when others want your company �to your own feelings, whether they make sense or not �to change your mind or choose a different course of action �to negotiate for change when arrangements don't work for you
IT'S NEVER YOUR RESPONSIBILITY��to be 100% perfect�to follow the crowd �to love destructive people �to please unpleasant people �to apologize for being yourself �to drain your strength for others �to feel guilty about what you desire �to put up with unpleasant situations �to sacrifice your integrity for anyone �to remain in an abusive relationship �to do more than you have time to do �to do something you really cannot do �to conform to unreasonable demands �to give what you really don't want to give �to bear the burden of another's misbehavior �to give up who your are for anybody or anything
If you or anyone you know is experiencing ANY form of domestic abuse, please read the safety plan page I have added. There are also ways to protect yourself while online so that your abuser can not track your online movements or emails. Please read the page entitled Tracks. If you are considering a divorce or are newly separated or divorced it can be a traumatizing experience and I want you to know there are many people and groups out there who are there to help you and support you. You can also read an excellent article submitted by one of our readers...Here. Many of us who have experienced divorce have come from dysfuntional families or our abuser is from a dysfunctioanl family. And while you are in an abusive situation, your home is dysfunctional. Please take a minute to look over the information I have put together to help you to put your family back together in a normal way. |
