DEFENSES DEVELOPED AS A RESULT OF HAVING BEEN RAISED IN A DYSFUNCTIONAL HOUSEHOLD1) We guess at what is normal.2) We have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end. 3) We lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth. 4) We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self- esteem. 5) We take ourselves very seriously and have difficulty having fun. 6) We have difficulty with intimate relationships. 7) We over-react with changes over which we have no control. 8) We become approval seekers and lose our identity in the process. 9) We usually feel different from other people. 10) We are either super responsible or super irresponsible. 11) We are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved. 12) We tend to lock ourselves into a course of action, without seriously considering possible consequences or alternate behaviors. 13) We become isolated and afraid of people and authority figures. 14) We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism. 15) We either become alcoholics, marry them, or both, or find another compulsive personality to fulfill our sick abandonment needs. 16) We live life from the viewpoint of victims, and are attracted by that weakness in our love, friendship, and career relationships. 17) We have an over developed sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. This enables us not to look too closely at our faults or our responsibilities to ourselves. 18) We feel guilty when we stand up for ourselves. 19) We are addicted to excitement. 20) We confuse love and pity, and tend to "love" people we can pity and rescue. 21) We have stuffed our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much. 22) We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment, and will do anything to hold onto a relationship in order not experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us. 23) We are reactors rather than actors. 24) We tend to look for immediate rather than deferred gratification. 25) Alcoholism is a family disease and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease, even though we did not pick up the drink. 26) We generally over-react out of fear. 27) We are angry people. 28) We have a tendency towards procrastination 29) We have difficulty trusting both others and ourselves Here are some tapes and books you may be interested to help you deal with the dysfunctionality of your life: Some tapes/books/authors to illuminate recovery from a dysfunctional family
And, finally, a couple of links you can click on to find out more:
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