It is for those of you who have decided to free yourself from your marriage and ways to cope with the decision.

In the midst of a traumatic separation or divorce there are many common symptoms that people may experience. Emotional trauma can affect us in many ways and very often we are affected physically by what we are going through mentally.

We will look at a few of the most common complaints and give some suggestions on how to deal with them best. This is not a substitute for talking to your GP or for speaking with a counsellor. However, having a list of typical complaints may help you to recognise symptoms within yourself and also to appreciate that you are not alone and that it is common for people to experience one or more of these conditions.

• Insomnia - Regular exercise, relaxation techniques, reading, music, herbal remedies, keep a daily journal or make notes in a book to help clear the mind.
• Outbursts of crying - Don't try to stop this, crying is healthy, it is a relief mechanism, let your body stop when it is ready to. Encourage your children to do the same if they need to. It can bring about a huge sense of relief and calm.
• Inability to eat - Over short periods of time this, for most of us, may not be a big problem. We will eat when we feel like it and make the most of those times. Avoid, if possible, arranging mealtimes around times that cause you most stress. Try to maintain patterns of eating for the benefit of your children. If you don't eat be sure to drink plenty of water. If this is a persistent problem you must talk to your GP.
• Binging - If this is occasional and helps you through a particularly bad day, then don't worry. However, if it is a regular or daily occurrence try focusing on other activities - clear out a cupboard, ring a friend and if you must binge, try something healthy, like fruit, sultanas, raw vegetables, chewing gum...anything that's not exciting! If the problem persists, seeing your GP is essential.
• Nausea -Try ginger...as a cordial drink, ginger sweets (health food shops), peppermint drinks and sweets. Try nibbling frequent, small amounts of food, like toast or plain biscuits. Carbonated water may also help. Again, see your GP if the situation doesn't improve.
• Headaches - Massaging your temples and other reflexology methods can be helpful. Drink plenty of water, try to relax and experiment with relaxation techniques. Talk to your pharmacist about over the counter remedies. Prolonged and severe pain and regular headaches should be discussed with your GP.
• Upset stomach - Drink plenty of water, try eating live yoghurt or taking live culture drinks. Avoid high fat or fruit fibre foods. Avoid alcohol. Eat simple foods like jacket potatoes, bread, soup, plain biscuits and avoid spicy, rich dishes. Prolonged attacks may require dehydration/mineral therapy. Speak to you pharmacist or GP.
• Skin disorders - Try lavender oil, get some sun, and speak to your GP, pharmacist or contact a homeopath. Try products designed for sensitive skin.
• Mood swings/Irrational behaviour - Try to recognise when these happen and inform those around you how you are feeling. Try to move away from what triggers you and do something that changes your frame of mind or mood. Try not to impose your feelings onto others as you may regret it later. A counsellor is possibly the best person to help you deal with this reaction.
• Depression - In the first instance it is probably best to discuss your feelings with a counsellor. They will help you to gain focus in your life and rebuild it in a positive way. Some people find that taking the herbal remedy, St Johns Wort is beneficial, for others anti depressants, as prescribed by their GP are the only option. Avoid caffeine, sugar based and processed foods. Avoid short-term fixes like alcohol, chocolate binges, retail therapy and drugs. The short-term fix will not provide a long-term solution.
• Excessive drinking - This is a no win addiction and simply masks issues that you must deal with. It will affect your children, family, career and may get you into financial difficulty. Speak with a counsellor, your GP or Alcoholics Anonymous immediately. You must seek help.
• Excessive smoking - Try to focus on other activities, to take your mind away from it. Keep busy. Try Nicotine substitutes, as available from the chemist. Hypnotherapy can also help.
• Drug dependence - This is a no win situation for you and your family and in many cases could result in your children being taken away from you. You must seek help immediately, there is so much to lose, not least your own life. Speak to your GP and they will put you in contact with the appropriate specialist.
• Inability to adhere to routines or to work - This is due to emotional distraction and this may continue over a long period of time. You will need to talk to someone who can give you ongoing support. This may be a friend or counsellor, but they will need to help you restructure your life, helping you not only in the short term, dealing with day to day issues, but also helping you to focus on your future. Dwelling on the negatives will be of little value. You need to work towards a positive attitude both on a daily and ongoing basis.

  Beyond conventional recommendations try any of the following complimentary therapies:
  Alexander Technique, Acupuncture, Aromatherapy, Homeopathy, Hypnotherapy, Massage, Nutritional advice, Reflexology, Shiatsu and Yoga.

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