Rum04text03

Rumble 2004

Return to Rounds 1-2        Return to Rounds 3-5

Round 6

Carol Wrote:
Carol: Well I guess it is no surprise what is going on in the Car lot. Ms. Piggy is indeed being drunk for her ham juices. Pigs carry a lot of fat so this will take the whole five min.
Walt Disney: I can't believe what you people have done to my beautiful family friendly park. I mean DEATH! Oh what is the world coming to? Please, don't anyone ever unfreeze me. EVER.
Carol: I guess Walt is a tad upset by the carnage taking place in Frontierland. Mr. Incredible, while not technically a Disney creation, is associated with Happy Meals from McDonalds and that means....
The cast and crew from Monty Python: GET ON WITH IT!
Carol: Right anyway Mr. Incredible has taken care of the nasy Jordano killing Character
Robert Jordan: Hey...Ho hum.. that's not nice.
Carol: Neither is leading poor defenseless readers into a gazillion book fantasyland.
Jordan: Point well taken.
Carol: It seems that Bruce Lee and Ender went with the Tiki room, as there was a lot more interesting stuff going on in there. While they were listening to the birds sing words and watching the flowers croon there was a FLASH and Fawkes, Albus Dumbledore's phoenix from the Harry Potter books, appears on a perch. Ender and Bruce are intrigued and get closer in order to investigate. The bird is in marvelous shape all glowing and shiny.
Ender: What a marvelous bird
Bruce:>パーティースペース� �� るコーヒー専門店
Ender nods and pandemonium ensues.
Carol: Meanwhile Ash has given up on Chip and Dale and is walking around Disney land heading toward the Tiki hut where he hears a scuffle.
Carol: Sailor Moon is in the forest. She has dug a hole and is looking from it to the gun and back. It looks like she might bury the gun.
Serena (AKA sailor moon): I don't like guns, but I don't like getting shot either. Oh what to do? I wish Raye was here to tell me what to do. I miss my friends.. WAAAAAAAAA.. I miss Tuxedo Mask. Boo-Hoo-Hoo
Carol: Oh No it seems that Sailor moon's wail will only draw Van Pelt to her side faster He is making his way quickly to where she is sitting on the ground.
Pelt: Right, one sailor down He aims and prepares to fire his laser gun.
Carol: What is this? What is happening? Sailor moon is crying for her friends, for her love Darien. She has become encapsulated in a pink bubble of anime transformation. In a blink of an eye her pretty sailor suit disappears and a white gossamer gown replaces it.
Amy, Luna, Artemis, Lita, Raye and Mina: Oh my gosh she's the princess. Our Moon princess is that twit?
Carol: Van Pelt is a little confused.
Van Pelt: Hmm does this mean she is a new character? does she then go to the bottom of my list??
Princess Serena: I will brook no violence. I have had enough in my lifetimes. Oh Darien. (In one graceful motion she gestures with her crescent wand at Van Pelt, he melts in to a blur of himself)

(So here is how it ends Princess Serena (PS for short) is in Fangorn forest, in a min or two when the emotion she called up fades so will she fade back into Sailor moon. This will be very draining for her and she may be sort of comatose for a while. Mr. Incredible is doing incredible in Disneyland. Ash is at the door of the Tiki hut and Fawkes is trying to escape the hands of Ender and Bruce. The Gholam is in the Car lot feasting on pigs blood.)

Cindy Wrote:
Cindy: To the resounding chords of the Imperial March, the next contestant appears in a remote part of Fangorn: Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith.
George Lucas: That's more like it! Is this in honor of Episode III?
Cindy: Sure. (sniffle) It was so hard to watch Anakin's good self wither away...I cried like a baby.
Innumerable Fan boys: No, no! It was cool to see him turn evil! Evil is cool! Good is boring! (Vader casually Force-chokes the lot of them)
Mark: Is that...legal?
Palpatine: I will MAKE it legal.
Cindy: I'm sorry, Palpy - you're not allowed in here. Your deformities exceed the ugliness allowance. And you're slimy too. Go away. (He attempts Force lightening and is immediately ejected, flying gracelessly through the air) Anyway! Vader has ignited his light saber and roams the forest in search of a worthy combatant. He ends up at the warp door without encountering Sailor Moon, who is still unconscious and would have been easily shish-ka-bobbed by the Sith Lord. Instead, he warps into Disneyland and encounters Mr. Incredible.
Mr. Incredible: Hmm...you look like a villain to me. What's your super-bad guy identity? Black Maskman? Glowy-sword guy? How about �
Vader: You are tiresome. (He slices him through with his saber). All too easy.
J. K. Rowling: Meanwhile, Fawkes escapes his tormentors at last by vanishing in a puff of red-gold. Unfortunately...he appears not far from Vader, who crushes his spine without even having to use this Force thing. The phoenix, however, merely rises from the ashes, a scrawny fledging again. Vader is perplexed.
Vader: This bird has learned to cheat death. I would learn its secret...but there are others to kill. (He goes off once more, leaving Fawkes squawking in its infant state)
Cindy: Meanwhile, Ender and Bruce having lost their victim, they turn to Ash. Ender uses his persuasive powers to try to convince him to join them, and it looks like he might be succeeding. However, at that moment the Gholam appears in their midst! It had finished its feast of pig's blood and leapt through the warp door into Disneyland, which now contains all the combatants except Sailor Moon. On to you, Mark!

(So, Vader has just left Fawkes as a baby, Ender, Bruce and Ash are confronting the Gholam, and Sailor Moon is just waking up in Fangorn)

Mark Wrote:
Mark: The Gholam rounds a corner and finds himself facing Bruce Lee, Ender and Ash. Suddenly, there is a flash of light between them. The light clears to reveal a ten or eleven-year-old Maori-like boy wearing a green flight suit and carrying a familiar looking helmet. The Gholam snarls at the boy and leaps toward him, but the boy steps back, lifts an arm, and a blast of flame leaps out of the flamethrower at the wrist of his father's old suit. The Gholam steps back in shock. Ender raises an eyebrow.
Ender: Boba Fett, I presume?
Mark: The young Fett turns and raises an eyebrow at Ender.
Fett: How do you know my name?
Mark: Ender just shrugs, but I can reveal that Ender has studied as many of the original works as he could get his hands on, in the hopes that something he learns might give him an edge. Meanwhile, the Gholam is confused. Clearly, this boy is Aes Sedai, but he didn't feel anything when he channeled fire just there. The Gholam snarls again (He does a lot of that), and attacks Fett again. Boba ignites his jet
pack and tears into the air, and Bruce Lee intercepts the attack.
Bruce Lee: &%&((^$$^*(!!
Mark: The Gholam snarls and attacks the Chinese master.
Ender: No! Bruce wait!
Mark: But it is too late. Bruce Lee leaps to attack, and pummels the Gholam with enough force to break every bone in its body. A moot point, since it HAS no bones in its body. The Gholam snarls again and slashes out Bruce Lee's throat.
Jordan: All right! Score one for WoT characters!
Mark: The Gholam wants to savor the blood, but first it knows it must kill the children. Especially the flying Aes Sedai child...
Ash: What is that thing?
Ender: I think it's a Gholam. I read about it.
Ash: A Golem? Huh. It doesn't look like a Golem. If only I had something with an ice attack. That usually can finish a rock type pokemon...
Ender: Of course! Boba! I need your help!
Mark: Fett has no reason to help anyone, of course, but since this kid seems to know him, he decides to trust him and swoops down, grabbing him under the arms.
Ender: Get me to the warp door. That way!
Mark: The Gholam is incensed, and chases after the two flying children. Ash follows at a safe distance. Meanwhile, Vader has ducked into the Its a small world ride, and is systematically slashing apart every thing in it, and is therefore not spotted by Fett as he flies by. Ender and Fett reach the door, and fly through, landing in the used car lot.
Ender: Wrong door. Try again.
Fett: But... How?
Ender: Trust me. Just go through again.
Mark: Fett flies them through, and they land in Hoth.
Ender: Perfect. Follow me.
Fett: How did you know this was here?
Ender: The maps were available online. Let's go!
Mark: Things are not so easy for the Gholam. First, he has to negotiate the streets, and takes longer to reach the door than his two pre-adolescent quarries. Then, when he goes through, he lands in the coliseum, sees it is empty, and tries again. He lands in Fangorn, snarls some more, and leaves. He lands back in the coliseum and snarls again, and leaves. He lands in Hoth, where the first thing he sees is Boba Fett at the end of the hallway shouting "Hey ugly! Are you looking for me?" and shooting at him with his blaster rifle. The shot hits the Gholam square in the chest and does no damage, naturally. The Gholam leaps after him, and chases him into the hanger. The creature looks around for Fett, but can't find him. He stalks further into the hanger, perfectly aware that he is invincible to any force in its own world, and presumably any other world. Suddenly, he is blasted from behind by a blast of high-pressure water. Boba Fett is wielding the pressurized water hose--standard gear in any hanger or garage--, at Ender's insistence. The Gholam is getting soaked, and even more ticked off.
Boba Fett: I don't see what this is going to accomplish!
Ender: Trust me. Hold onto something!
Mark: Fett grabs a pipe, and Ender grabs a rail and punches a button on the wall. Suddenly, the heavy hanger door bursts open, and the freezing, deadly wind of the Hoth night screeches into the hanger. Fett is protected by his flight suit, and Ender has taken the precaution of donning some of the protective clothing worn by the rebel troopers, even if most of it doesn't fit very well. For the sopping wet Gholam, however, it is a very chilly wind. In short order, he has frozen solid.
Jordan: That won't kill him. Just slow him down. He's bound to thaw out eventually, and he'll just be hungrier when he does.
Card: You obviously don't know Ender. When he defeats someone, he makes sure they will never have the chance to retaliate.
Mark: Indeed. And he already has a plan in shape. Leaping into the cockpit of a snow-speeder, he starts it up and finds a way to lock the accelerator to the floor.
Ender: Pick it up! Position him in front of the hanger door.
Mark: Fett swoops down and lifts the frozen Gholam under its arms. The creature snarls balefully, promising swift and horrible vengeance for this treatment. He sets him down between the speeder and the open hanger. Ender ties off the accelerator, kicks it into gear, and leaps out of the cockpit. The speeder is sent charging down the garage at the Gholam standing helpless between it and the gate.
Jar Jar: Ooh, this'n gonna be messy!
Mark: Even more so than you think. I quote the rules for this rumble: No participants can leave the arena under any circumstances, however bullets, blaster bolts, and all other projectiles will pass through the invisible walls without slowing or ricocheting.
Jar Jar: Me no watchin!
Mark: The speeder smacks the Gholam dead in the chest, knocking it harshly against the invisible barrier that keeps the Gholam from leaving the Hoth battlefield. The speeder--having no such barrier--continues through into the outside air, smashing the frozen Gholam into thousands of pieces splattered around the Hanger.
Yes, the pieces will inevitably thaw, but the Gholam ain't coming back.
Lucas: Impressive. Most Impressive.

(So, Fett and Ender are in the hanger on Hoth. Vader has completed his decimation of "Its a Small World," and is coming out. Ash has found the baby Fawkes and is trying to coax him into a pokeball. Sailor Moon is in Fangorn, just awaking from a quiet nap.)

Robert Wrote:
Robert: Wow, its finally my turn again
Robert Jordan: And you do know what to do, don't you.
Robert: Of course, I have had a lot of time to think about it.
Robert Jordan: And this time there will be no cheap kills of my character.
Robert: That's right, my #1 pick is about to enter the arena. The Dragon Reborn, Rand al'Thor.     Before that happens though, Ash Ketchum, the pokemoro... I mean pokemaster, has wandered through one of the warp doors. His hands have been somewhat burned from trying to handle a phoenix.
JK Rowling: Silly animated child.
Robert: Exactly, and he has wound up in the junkyard... right as the Dragon Reborn appears there. Ash throws his pokeball containing an irate Fawkes at Rand. Rand catches the ball with the power and incinerates it with a burst of Fire. Fawkes, grateful to be freed and totally unharmed by Fire flutters to Rand and lands on his shoulder.
JK Rowling: Fawkes must sense that Rand is a good guy.
Robert: Either that or he's just really happy to be away from that bratty anime child. In any case Rand reacts quickly against Ash. He channels air and binds Ash's arms and legs in place. He bends him into a fetal position and tosses him into a car trunk. Ash starts to sob like a little baby. Rand realizes that Ash is only a child, but he can't be too careful, so he weaves a gag and a blindfold of Air and shuts the kid up. He slams down the trunk, and for good measure melts the locking mechanism with an ingenious weave of Earth and Fire and stacks a few other cars on top of Ash's dark, dark prison. That ought to hold him.
Robert Jordan: And that wasn't killing or maiming the #1 pick of Ash Ketchum, so I think that little exchange was totally within the rules.
Robert: I certainly hope so. Would balefire have been legal too? Ash would have died before any judge could step in... Oh well, better not risk it.
George Lucas: Darth Vader has found Star Tours and is enjoying the ride. I pity anyone who might disturb the Dark Lord in his reverie.
Robert: Sailor Moon goes back to sleep, and... Nothing else really important happens.

(So, Ender and Boba Fett are still on Hoth, Vader is still in Star Tours in Disneyland, Sailor Moon is taking another nap, Rand has just entered a warp door with Fawkes on his shoulder, and Ash Ketchum is gagged, blindfolded, sealed into a car's trunk, and buried under a pile of other wrecked cars.)

RJ Wrote:
RJ: Well, it has been a very interesting round, wouldn�t you agree, honey?
Jamie: Yes, sorry for that confusion of last round. But at least we had a good reminder of the rules.
Brian: No problem.
Jamie: At least that mean piece of pork got her comeuppance!
Kermit: Hey now! (Makes as if he is going to fight)
RJ: Watch it �Kermie�. You are out�go sit with George and JRR. (With a solemn look, the frog leaves.)
Mark: Well, can we get on with it�
RJ: Oh, of course, by the way�congratulations on the new baby Emma! (Mark and Cindy blush)
Jamie: It appears that the next competitor has arrived on that ice planet.
All (minus Tolkien): It�s HOTH!!!
Jamie: OK�I�ll never get Star Wars. (Sighs) Anyway, the creature looks like a fiery, smoky mass of something� will somebody help me out here.
RJ: It appears that Ender knows what it is.
Ender: It is the Balrog.
Boba: A what?
Ender: It is one of the mythological beasts that plays an important role in JRR Tolkien�s Lord of the Ring. (Boba O�s, Tolkien cheers, Lucas groans)
My advice is that we leave�NOW!
RJ: As both head for the warp door, the Balrog starts to really tear up what remains of the Rebel base on Hoth. Not to mention that his �hot� personality is quickly taking a toll�I don�t know if the ice planet can take much more of this.
Tolkien: My Balrog will make a puddle of your ice planet!
Lucas: Well you better hope he doesn�t use the warp doors and get out to your �precious� little forest!
Tolkien: Oh dear.
Jamie (interrupting them): Meanwhile, as Boba Fett entered the warp door, he was sent to Disneyland. Darth Vader has exited Star Tours, lightsaber ignited.
RJ: The Force obviously told him that a foe was near. He sees Boba and begins to give chase. Now remember Boba is no coward�he just wants a better position to fight the Sith Lord.
Jamie: Ender however, landed in the junkyard�and was a bit puzzled to hear VERY muffled screams. He immediately goes and starts to read a crane operations manual so that he may figure out exactly who or what is screaming.
Mark: Hey where did Rand and Fawkes end up?
RJ and Jamie: We were just getting to that!
RJ: Since Fawkes and Rand each have a special type of magical power they knew that if they stepped in together they�d really be one�
Jamie: So, Fawkes has ended up in Fangorn to the awaking Moon Princess, while Rand has ended up in Rome to a very desolate Coliseum.
RJ: And the flash of light brings it back to President Brain�I mean Brian.

(So, Balrog on Hoth, Boba and Vader in Disneyland, Fawkes and Sailor Moon in Fangorn, Ender and the captive Ash in the junkyard, and Rand �al Thor in the Coliseum.)

Brian Wrote:
Brian: The Balrog has melted a sizable puddle in Hoth.
Lucas: Oooooh No!
Brian: Or I should say "A Balrog" Since they are a species of Maia, not a single person, I guess we can have 2 of them in the Rumble. (One was already introduced earlier, but this is the easiest fix I can think of to try and get us going again) Anyway, At this point I'd like to read a passage from the Lord of the Rings.
Lucas: Oh sure make it worse.
Brian: Actually you'll like this part. It's from the Two Towers.
"Gandalf: Long I fell, and he fell with me. His fire was about me and I was burned. Then we plunged into the water and all was
dark. . . He was with me still. His fire was quenched, but now he was a thing of slime, stronger than a strangling snake."
Lucas: That was supposed to cheer me up? Hoth is being destroyed.
Brian: Look again George. The puddle is large enough now that the Balrog has been extinguished. He is now "a thing of slime." In this reduced form, the Balrog creeps through the halls of Hoth, and reaches the warp door.
Meanwhile in Disneyland, Fett is looking for safety from the incensed Sith Lord. He darts through the warp door and appears in Fangorn. He looks about himself. Before long he hears the Sailor Scout crunching through the leaves and a squack from Fawkes. He heads that way. Just as he sees them he also sees a horrible sight. The gruesome corpse of his father, it's head
removed from its body. (Remember the Big Show did that in Round 1, however Boba assumes Sailor Moon has done it) He attacks the girl with his blasters. She dodges for cover, though one blaster bolt grazed her leg. Fawkes stoops over her and begins to cry.
Moon: Yeah, it hurts pretty bad. You're a pretty sympathetic little bird aren't you? Hey! That feels a lot better.
JK Rowling: Remember that Phoenix tears are healing drops.
Brian: It may take more than that if Sailor Moon doesn't do something. But for now she's pinned down by his relentless rain of revenge.
Mark: That was almost poetic. Very nice.
Brian: Thanks, anyway as this is happening, Vader who also went through the warp door has appeared in the Junkyard. He sees a small boy working a crane and decided to sneak up on him. He turns off his lightsaber. Ender has almost freed Ash when Vader attacks. Fortunately for Ender, he hears the hiss of the igniting lightsaber and barely avoids his slash. Ender sweeps his legs out and kicks the Sith Lord in the knee. Vader roars in pain and frustration and turns on the boy. He's dropped his lightsaber.
Obi-Wan: He has a tendency of doing that.
Brian: yeah. Anyway, they start clobbering each other.
RJ: Hey Brain - Brian, what about your next competitor?
Brian: I'm getting there. In fact, lets go to the Coliseum to see him. The flash brought in Mr. Anderson, who prefers to be called Neo. He attacks Rand with lightning speed, and Rand
lashes back with actual lightning.
Robert: Wait a minute, this isn't the Matrix. Neo shouldn't stand a chance against Rand.
Brian: True, this isn't the Matrix, however, in the Rumble, all characters view the world as most favorable and comfortable to them.
All: huh?
Brian: What I mean is that to anyone who is from the Matrix, this world is the Matrix. To others it is not. To Ash Ketchum, Pheonix's and vicious bunnies can be caught with Pokeballs; to Vader, the force exists; to Rand the one power exists; etc.
All: Oh. Ooooh this should be good.
Brian: Yes I thought you'd say that. Anyway, Neo controls the Matrix and bends the lightning away from himself. Rand is rather astonished and falls back toward the warp door. Neo gives chase still trying to land one of his fast punches on the Dragon. Rand draws on the power and creates his power sword, which Neo mostly blocks as he did in Matrix Reloaded. Rand falls back again and inadvertently steps through the warp door. Neo ponders what happened for a moment then follows. Amazingly they appear at the same place moments apart. {Neo didn't control the warp door it was just chance} Rand appears a moment before Neo, since he stepped through first, and when Neo appears he blasts him with a weave of air. Neo jumps back up and strikes a Kung-Fu pose then beckons the Coramoor to him. Rand leaps at him and they continue fighting. They only hesitate a moment when Vader and Ender round a corner, also swinging at each other.
Weird Al Yankovic: Hey this is cool, you've got 'The Chosen One' fighting Mark's #1 and beside them you have 'The One' Fighting Robert's #1, while Joey's #1 watches from his car trunk prison.
Brian: Yes that's rather odd isn't it. Don't forget that not only is Neo 'The One' but he is also my #1 so you have four #1 fighters in close quarters and a fifth in the fray elsewhere.
So actually only Cindy and RJ's #1's are not currently here.
Anyway that brings us to the next flash of light.

(So, Rand is fighting Neo, and Vader is fighting Ender, all watched by Ash in the Junkyard. Meanwhile Fawkes and Sailor Moon are dodging Boba Fett's attacks in Fangorn. Also, the slimy Balrog is about to appear . . . somewhere.)

Round 7

Joe wrote:
George W. Bush: Well as we can see there are four weapons of mass-destruction in the junkyard. Things are flying around left and right and being sliced with lasers by Vader, Ridiculous high kicks and flips and kah-rah-tay moves are being dealt by a Mr. Anderson, While Rand and the Guy I have NO IDEA what or who he is, Ender, defend themselves to these psychic/Matrix powers. Even though I have no idea what he is let's assume Ender is a weapon of mass destruction anyway, people will pay more attention and fund the battle . . .
Howard Dean: WHAT?!?
Lil' John: YEAH!!! OKAY!!!
Dubya: You guys are misunderestimating what I mean.
Michael Moore: I'm an Idiot!
Dubya: Back to the fight. You explain Pops, I'd rather you do the hard work and let me get your glory two rumbles later.
Poppa Bush: There is so much debris flying everywhere it's hard to tell who's who. Vader seems to be schooling Rand at the moment, holding him down with he force and choking him half to death. Oh and what's this??!?!? Neo is throwing cars on top of Rand to hold him while Vader chokes him. What a Predicament! From the portal comes Fawkes, sick of playing Tea Party with sailor moon and growing to be a powerful bird of fire, and starved for some action as well. (Playing with teenage girls for a few hours will do that to ya) Having nothing better to do he melts all the cars down on top of Rand so he can't move under 30 tons of melted car steel. Then seeing the power of the one and the force in the area gets scared and flies off. At the same time Neo hurls The vehicle Ash is in through the portal after trying to get Ender with it, who sees this is way over his head and ducks out biding time and waiting for one of these Enemies to fall to the others crazy "Psychic" powers.
Colonel Sanders: You said it; I wouldn't want to be in that junkyard right now either. Back at Disney Ash lands as the car bursts open and he falls out of his binds. He is dazed and wakes up looking straight up at a Slimy wet monstrous creature.
"That's the biggest Machoke I've ever seen, or is it a Garados, or a Blastoise, or a really wet Venusaur...� before he can say another word the Balrog is hanging him by his feet over his mouth. "Whatever it is it's weak" "GO ULTRA BALL" the ball wiggles three times and the Balrog is caught.
Balrog - A Pokemon from Middle-Earth
Ground/Water -or- Ground/Fire
This Pokemon is part water when extinguished and part fire when ignited. This pokemon is also copyrighted by JRR Tolkien some year a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.
Lucas: Hey!!!
Tolkien: haha. Even the Pokedex is mocking you.
Then A Flash of Light appears and none other than Ash's beloved Pikachu is standing when the smoke clears in front of Ash. Catches him immediately.
Pikachu - Electric mouse pokemon
Electric
Pretty much the most popular and annoying pokemon ever. (Revenge is sweet eh Robert?)

(So... Ash is in Toon Town with the Balrog (wet) and Pikachu on his belt, Vader and Neo are battling in the Junkyard with Rand helplessly stuck under a pile of melted cars, Ender is at the gate of Hoth, Sailor Moon and Fett in Fangorn dodging and fighting, and Fawkes is in the Coliseum, just chillin.)

Cindy Wrote:
Cindy: Our next competitor is the nosferatu-esque villain from Episode III, General Grievous. He appears in the junkyard and strides toward Vader and Neo.
Grievous: (Hacks) ah, more pitiful Jedi! (coughs)
Vader; You're mistaken. I kill Jedi (He force retrieves his saber)
Lucas: And without even turning to face him, Vader force-flings Grievous fifty feet onto a pile of cars, transforming him to another pile of scrap metal. Well, was anyone expecting anything different? He was just a walking, talking, wheezing cyborg MacGuffin!
RJ: A what-now?
Cindy: Look it up! Anyway, Vader's brief distraction encourages Neo to leap at him with a flying kick, but Vader turns back in time to cut a lovely gash in his leg with his saber. While Neo grimaces in pain, Vader uses the chance to dump another car on Rand, who was beginning to weave some air-thingies in an attempt to escape.
Robert Jordan: Speaking of Rand, I urge everyone to check out my new book "Knife of Dreams!"
Cindy: Does it finally end your overlong bloated series? Does anything significant occur or is it more of women who insult wool-headed men and wear stout Two Rivers linens?
Jordan; Er...
Cindy: Yeah I thought so. Well, anyway, Ender is quietly exploring the Hoth base, taking stock of his surroundings and how best to use them to his advantage. Fawkes is flying about the coliseum, singing his unearthly song. Ash is heading for the warp door, seeing that there is no one to throw his critters at in Disneyland.
Mark: I'm bored! This is boring! You're boring! Make something happen!
Cindy: Yeah, this IS starting to resemble One of Jordan's books, isn't it?
Jordan: Hey!
Cindy: Let's see...All right, things are happening in Fangorn. Sailor Moon and Boba Fett are dueling, Boba because he believes he has found his father's killer, and Sailor Moon because if she accepted Boba's attacks passively, she would be black, blue and concussed by now. Boba is mostly attempting kicks and punches, which are occasionally successful, since she's near his height. However, she is retaliating with whatever-the heck you call those wierdo animated blasts she uses, and Boba must be quick to dodge them. Then a bird comes soaring in, singing its song, and they both look up. It's Fawkes, who tired of flying alone in Rome and came through the warp door. Sailor Moon is transfixed by his song, but Boba mutters, "The air-whale could eat that wimpy bird for breakfast" and uses the distraction to aim a heavy kick at Sailor Moon's head. She crumples to the ground, out cold for the moment.
Boba: That's for my dad!
J.K. Rowling: But before Boba can hurt her further, Fawkes swoops down and begins pecking at him, recognizing that this little boy is not as true in heart as others he has met. Boba flings his arms over his head, shouting in pain, and runs away to avoid further pecking. Fawkes then goes to Sailor Moon's still form, and drops a few tears upon her head. She does not wake, but her sleep becomes more restful and healing. When she awakes, she will be ready to enter the battle once more!

(So, Vader and Neo fight near the buried Rand, Ender explores Hoth, Ash is about to leave Disneyland, Fawkes is tending Sailor Moon in Fangorn, and Boba Fett is running to the other edge of the forest.)

Mark Wrote:
Stan Lee: A flash of emerald light in the junkyard and, gadzooks! It's the galloping Green Gargoyle, The Incredible Hulk! And boy, is he ticked off!
Hulk: Hulk was screwed out of winning last Rumble! Now, HULK SMASH PUNY HUMANS!
Lucas: Well, that got Neo and Vader's attention! Hulk is about 12 feet tall, and rippling with angry green muscles. He has just picked up a Buick in one hand and a Chevy truck in the other, and leaps at the two battling "chosen ones!"
Neo: Whoa!
Vader: Most Impressive!
Stan Lee; The Hulk bashes Neo aside with one car, and punches Vader with the other. Neo sails through the air for about ten yards, and then turns around in flight and flies directly at the Hulk with his fists flying!
Garth; Wow, Wayne! Look at those fists fly!
Wayne; Yeah I know! He looks like a weed whipper.
Garth: He looks like a helichopper.
Wayne: He looks like a Blender on "super-frappe"
Mark; It's not doing much good though! Hulk is just getting bigger and more angry. Now he's 15 feet tall, and he seizes Neo around the chest with one hand and pins his arms together.
Hulk: Man with Black Eyes tries to hurt Hulk. But Puny Human is too puny.
Stan Lee: Hulk slams Neo into the ground, and makes it shake. Neo is reeling. But suddenly another Buick slams Hulk in the side of the face.
Hulk: Huh? Who through that at Hulk?
Mark: Another hits him, from the other side
Hulk: Where are Flying Cars coming from?
Lucas: It is Vader, who now picks up a third truck with the force and tosses it at the Hulk. But this time the Hulk catches it and chucks it back at him.
Hulk: So, Black Skull Man wants to play catch? Here! Catch!
Lucas: Oh, my! Hulk is picking up the cars that are pinning Rand down and chucking them at Vader. Vader uses the force to repel them. What a battle!
Mark: Meanwhile, Ender has made use of his time. He has discovered a number of useful little toys in the Hoth Base: Mines, Blaster cannons, Blaster pistols, and a cache of video equipment.
Ender: This could prove useful...
Mark: Ender sets up a camera on the warp door, and sets a blaster cannon up in the corridor, set for remote activation. Then he buries a few land mines in the snow in key places, and retreats into the command center, where he can monitor the corridor and fire at will.
Ender: Won't do any good if they appear here, but may give an edge for anyone arriving from other places. Hmm.
Mark: Meanwhile, Ash has arrived in Fangorn, and spotted Fawkes.
Ash: There you are! Now get in the poke-ball!
Mark: Fawkes shouts and tries to escape, but since Ash has already captured him once, he really has no choice. With three on his belt, Ash steps over and examines Sailor Moon, who is still asleep.
Ash: Wow, she's pretty (Of course, he would think so. Incidentally, since Carol is out of it for the time being, is Sailor Moon still invincible? It seems she will become this rumbles' Perrin.)
Boba: Maybe, but she is evil. Get out of the way, so I can kill her.
Ash: I don't think so! You can't hurt a harmless little girl!
Boba: Who's gonna stop me?
Lucas: Fett raises his blaster rifle and points his flamethrower at Ash.
Ash: I'll show you who! Go, Balrog!
Mark: And suddenly Fett finds himself facing the Slime Balrog! He's better not try to use that flamethrower there! Meanwhile, Hulk and Vader are still battling it out, and Rand is starting to slither his way out of the pile of cars.
Vader: Enough of this, monster!
Lucas: With a gesture, Hulk suddenly finds himself unable to breathe. He fights and claws at his throat, tries to make a witty comment, but feels his life being slowly crushed out of him. He stumbles into a pile of cars, as his neck snaps and he lies still.
Vader: And all too easy...
Rand: RRRaaaaHHH!
Jordan: Rand suddenly springs out of the pile of cars and turns to face Vader.
Vader; I'd thought you'd learned a lesson, boy!
Lucas: Vader ignites his saber, but this time, Rand is through playing around.
Rand: TASTE BALE-FIRE, FORSAKEN!!!
Jordan: A blinding bar of white light leaps between them, and suddenly Vader is reduced to motes of dust.
Lucas and Cindy: NO!!!!!
Jordan: Oh, yes! Score another one for WoT! Oh wait, but the balefire had some other effects!
Hulk: What happened to Hulk? Hulk was dead, and now Hulk is alive?
Neo: Whoa! That big gash on my leg is healed!
General Grievous: Ah, more Jedi! (Cough, hack) Wait. (hack, spit) What just happened here? (Wheeze, cough hack)

(So, Rand, Neo, the Hulk and General Grievous are in the Junk Yard, about to start mixing it up again. Ash is defending Sailor Moon with the Balrog, while Fawkes and Pikachu are in his belt. Boba Fett is fighting the slime Balrog--all of that happening in Fangorn. And Ender is setting up elaborate defenses in Hoth, so he can defeat anyone that comes in without actually having to fight them.)

Robert wrote;
Robert: Wow, this has been in my mail for three weeks, sorry guys I never take this long.
Robin: Holy years long rumble Batman!
Batman (from Batman Begins): PUNCH! Its a good thing you don't exist in the new movie franchise.
Robert: AMEN! In any event, the rumble is about to get a lot... cleaner. Rand is only temporarily confused by the reappearance of several combatants.   He quickly decapitates General Grievous with his sword of Fire. Neo decides that discretion is the better part of valor and flees through the warp gate. Rand quickly weaves a Death Gate (sorry, but if any of you haven't read Book 11 by now... too bad) thinking the Hulk must be Shadow spawn. The Hulk falls through the gate to parts unknown.
Robert: Neo shows up on Hoth, and is about to step into one of Ender's traps. Now lets look at our new combatant... IG-88, the assassin droid. It appears in Disneyland and begins to hunt its prey.
George Lucas: Ha! Things are looking up for my galaxy from long, long ago, and far, far away. Unlike your world Mr. Tolkien, for as it is lacking its flames the Balrog should be quite weakened.
JRR Tolkien: What makes you think that?
Lucas: Well, Boba Fett just shot it forty two times with his blaster and it doesn't look like its getting up any time soon.
Tolkien: You'll pay for that George.
Robert: Calm down gentlemen, but George Lucas is right. The Balrog is dead.   Ash recovers quickly and sends Pikachu to intercept Boba Fett. Pikachu also proves not to be blaster proof. Ash is enraged. He didn't know his new pet very well, but the death of Pikachu sends him over the edge. He throws Fawkes out. Fawkes, sensing Ash's anger, decides that he isn't a very good master and flees through the warp gate. Ash collapses in a heap, sobbing uncontrollably at the death of Pikachu. Boba Fett takes aim...

(So, Rand is alone in the Junkyard, Neo is about to step into one of Ender's traps on Hoth, Fawkes is about to fly out of the warp gate, Sailor Moon is trying to comfort a mentally unwell Ash, IG-88 is still in Disneyland)

RJ wrote:
*FLASH*
Crow: I feel a new competitor coming in...
Tom Servo: But first look at that huge green blob!
RJ: Well which one do you mean Tom? Is it the Hulk--who has just come out of the "gateway" and landed right in front of Boba Fett or the newest Rumbler who has just appeared in Hoth--Shrek?
Mark: This is RJ's #1 pick. That leaves only Cindy's #1, Noki, to come in.
RJ: Yes , Shrek is my #1--so no killing him! I want one of my characters to last more than a round. So anyway Tom, who were you referring too?
Tom: Well now that you mention it...I was referring to the "Creepy" green ball of slime that once was the mighty and ferocious Balrog--part deux--in fact that reminds me of a movie....
RJ: Well as good as that is we really don't have time for any of your musings. I don't think MST3K--Rumble version would fly. Why don't you just tell us what happened when the Hulk landed?
Tom: (stares the other direction)
RJ: Tom? Hey what's wrong?
Tom: I'm not talking to you any more!
RJ: OK! FINE BY ME!!! Crow why don't you tell us what went on?
Crow: I kinda like this better! Oooo, I know why don't you and Tom wrestle for it...in pink jello!
RJ: Pink jello? Where did that come from? And wrestle for what?
Crow: For the right to commentate! We can stop the Rumble and . . .
The audience boo's.
Crow: Well then....(He gives everybody a rasberry.)
RJ: That's it you two! Off you go into Time out with George and JRR! As the two robots head into the room you can hear two grow men sigh.
RJ: OK it looks like it will be just me this time.
Inigo Montoya: Who you like to do it in rhyme?
RJ: Amateurs! Just leave me be!
Elmer Fudd: To commentwate...choose me. (HeHe)
Mark: Could we just get on with it! Let Jamie commentate.
Jamie: Ok. Well when the Hulk landed near that guy from Star Wars..
George (yelling from Time Out--interrupts): He has a name you know! It's the Bounty Hunter Boba Fett, son of...
Jamie: Anyway! The shot Fett fired for the female funny looking cartoon..
Carol (interrupting--via satellite from Mexico): She is Anamie! And she has a name too...the Princess known as Sailor Moon, whose powers are...
Jamie: Again...that shot went the other direction, and completely missed her and the crying funny looking boy with the weird ball things...
Joey: (interrupting) Hey that is not just some crying boy...It's Ash Ketchum, Pokemon champion, who is clearly only mourning the lost of his Pokemon...which, are not weird ball this but are in fact, by the way...
An unknown voice interrupts: Yes?
RJ: Hey look its By-the-way...John that is. What are you doing here?
John Bytheway: Well I support good clean humor, so wherever it is, I'm there. Hey I do a great Barney Fife impression should I do that?
Don Knotts (speaking like the legendary deputy): I think I can handle that thank you very much!
Brian: At the rate this madness is going, I'll never get the rumble...RJ, please just finish it out for us.
RJ: OK. So Fett's shot went off into nowhere. Obviously the shot scared Ash enough to pick himself up and he and Sailor Moon have now fled through the warp door--Ash ends up in Disneyland and Sailor Moon is now in the junkyard.
Elmer: Sailowr Moon sees Rwand and she has now stoppwed crwying too.
RJ: Yes, it appears that she should be safe with him there for now. Ash however is anything but. He has to deal with a death machine in the Happiest Place on Earth--which is looking really run down by now--half of it is completely destroyed. (Walt is heard sobbing.) Luckily he finds a place to hide--Splash Mountain. IG-88 probably won't go near that water--so it continues destroying the rest of Frontier Land.
Jamie: Meanwhile Shrek's sudden appearance startles Neo and he backs away from Ender's trap. He also wants to investigate who the new addition to the Rumble is and he heads down to where they are and guides them back to his command center.
RJ: Fawkes also flies into the fray and follows the other 3 heroes. So, I guess that is it..
Cindy: What about the fight in Fangorn?!?
RJ: Oh yes, with Ash and Sailor Moon gone, Boba Fett has turned his wrath Hulk�s remains�
Tolkien and Lucas exchange more bitter words while Tom and Crow comment on how funny the two grow men really are.
Jamie: And the next flash of light will be coming here shortly, so on to you Brian!

(So, Boba Fett is in a burning Fangorn. Rand is talking to Sailor Moon in the Junkyard, trying to develop a strategy. Fawkes, Shrek, Ender and Neo are in the command center on Hoth; and Ash is hiding from IG-88 in Disneyland. What a Rumble!)

Brian Wrote:
Brian: That next flash brought in one of your creations professor Tolkien.
Tolkien: Em? who? where?
Brian: It is the son of Thranduil, prince of the silvan elves of Northern Mirkwood, Legolas.
He appeared in Fangorn, and . . .
Legolas: Aaiieee! the forest is afire!
Tolkien: He sees Fett, and figures anything with armor that gruesome must be an orc. He lets an arrow fly while Fett is still wasting his time with Hulk's corpse. The arrow flies true and splits under the helmet. Fett gurgles and falls.
Lucas: Great. Now all I have left is an extra.
Brian: Fear not, George. I'm sure someone will bring in another of your creations before long. Of course all that left is IG-88, Fawkes (how do you kill him by the way)
John Bytheway: how should I know, I didn't create him.
Rowling: I did you fool, and I'm sure not telling.
Jordan: some balefire aught to do it.
Brian: now there's an idea, except we've already been told that Rand likes Fawkes for some reason. Oh well, we shall just have to wait I guess.
Mark: Speaking of waiting . . .
Brian: Sorry, ok not much more happens, so here's the sum-up

(So, Ash is trying to sneak toward the warp door away from IG-88 in Disneyland. Fawkes, Shrek, Neo, and Ender are discussing plans on how to win it all. Rand and Sailor Moon are having a similar conversation in the Junkyard, and Legolas is trying [in vain] to put out the fires in Fangorn.)

Round 8

Joey Wrote:
Joey(TJ voice):NUCLEAR BOMB!! everyone dies. The End. Just kidding.
There is only one thing that hurts more than maiming another players characters, and that's putting that player on the outside of an inside joke. HA freakin' HA. Now that that is out of the way. . .
The Governator: FLASH! Legolas is running through the woods desperately trying to extinguish the flames and sees more of them appearing as he finishes with old ones. Getting suspicious he extinguishes a fire and waits. . .watching the last embers smolder into the lush grass. Then a rustling in the bushes. Legolas hears something and looks in the direction and sees nothing. Suspicious. . .he gets behind a tree after inspecting the surrounding area. As soon as he turns his back away from the tree his throat is slit and he falls to the forest floor leaning against the tree. The Cloaked Creature runs off into the portal and is zapped to Disney.
Howard Dean: In Disney IG-88 fires repeatedly after Ash Ketchum. Ash gets trapped in a corner between two stores. IG-88 slowly approaches and aims his laser rifle at the wall behind Ash, let's out a mechanical chuckling noise and *Boom*
Ash falls to the ground and that's left is a corpse and the laser sight of IG's rifle on the wall. He chuckles to himself once more. Then lowers his sight to check Ash for spoils, but before he looks at the poor dead boy for money or weapons he notices instead of the sight dissapearing it tripled. The three triangular red dots flicker and move to the back of his head.
*BOOOM*
The Predator uncloaks after blasting IG-88 against the wall into some broken pieces of steel. The Predator plays the recorded sound of IG-88's chuckle and cloaks once again.
Note: There are five number ones in play at the moment if I am correct. I backed down cause some people have to at this point. This will get really boring if everyone holds on to their characters forever, just because you choose when they die shouldn't make them invincible.

(So, Fawkes, Ender, Neo and Shrek are still plotting on Hoth. Rand and Sailor moon still plotting in the Junkyard. Predator is roaming Main Street USA with IG-88's rifle.)

Cindy Wrote:

Tolkien: I speak now not as the Maker of Middle Earth, but as a professor of Norse languages and mythology. For now is the time of the entrance of Loki, the Nordic god of mischief and mayhem! (not to be confused with the more obscure Noki, god of misspelled names) He shows up on Hoth, giggling insanely. May I take this time to note the etymology of the word, "Loki"--
Lucas: No, you may not. Get on with the fighting!
Tolkien: You have no semantic subtlety.
Lucas: I'll have you know that "Dooku" is Japanese for "poison!" How's that for semantic subtlety?
Tolkien: Yes, yes, but--
Mark: Cindy, can you restrict the linguistic ramblings to a minimum?
Cindy: Yes, I CAN.
Mark: (sighs) WILL you?
Cindy: Yes, I WILL.
Mark: STOP! BACK TO THE RUMBLE!
Cindy: That's more like it. Explicit stated command. Excellent. Tolkien, Lucas, put away your lexicons and get to Loki.
Tolkien: Yes, yes. Still giggling insanely, he comes upon the group of rumblers where we left them.
Shrek: What are you laughing at, little man?
Ender: I don't think it's a good idea to insult him...
Loki: Heehee! I've never seen such a tiny little troll!
Shrek: That's ogre!
Tolkien: A flash of light, and Shrek has become a grunting, green, snout-nosed little animal.
Loki: Heehee! Now you're a little troll-pig!
Cindy: Neo rushes forward in some show-offy Matrix pose, but a wave of Loki's hand and his hands become bananas.
Loki: Heeheehee! Try and karate chop with those!
Cindy: Ender has wisely decided to flee Loki's presence, but he wasn't quite fast enough. He's been hurrying along for several seconds before realizing that he isn't going anywhere. Loki watches gleefully as Ender seems to run on an unseen treadmill.
Loki: Oh...you weren't leaving were you? We were just becoming acquainted!
Cindy: Fawkes flies cautiously overhead. Loki glances up and chortles.
Loki: Pretty bird! Polly want a cracker?
Cindy: Immediately, crackers begin raining from the ceiling. Shrek the pig snorts eagerly and runs about, mouth open wide to catch them. Neo tries to grab him with his bananas, and Shrek bites them off, leaving the peels. Ender is still running pointlessly, his legs out of his control. Loki giggles, then dashes for the warpdoor to find more mortals to torment and play with. He ends up in Disneyland, where he turns the predator into a fluffy easter bunny. Rand and Sailor Moon, fortunately for them, have not yet encountered him.
But it's all a matter of time...
(Note: Loki's magic wears off eventually; approx. five minute after he leaves; so none of this is permanent maiming. :-D)

Mark wrote:

Lucas: There is a flash of light in Fangorn, to reveal an average-looking guy with a long brown robe and some kind of utility belt. One of yours, Ronald?
Tolkien: Only my friends call me Ronald, George. But no, I don't recognize him.
Mark: I recognize him.
Tolkien: Well, out with it then!
Mark: We'll see. Right now, he's just watching Fangorn burn, anyway. Meanwhile, Ender and company have just popped back to normal after Loki's interference.
Neo: Whoa! What WAS that guy?
Ender: Loki, I think. A norse god--well, a giant actually, but raised as a god.
Shrek: For the love of pete! We canna fight an immortal!
Ender: No. He's a NORSE god. They weren't imortal. Only powerful.
Neo: Way too powerful! Ender, I can't fight someone who can turn my hands into bananas!
Ender: Nonsense! Think, Neo! He just has the ability to alter the Matrix as he sees fit. So what? He's not the only one that can do that, is he? You're the One! Just change things how YOU want.
Shrek: What the blooming heck are yoo talkin' 'boot?
Ender: Never mind, Shrek. This changes nothing. The plan is still the same: find the enemy, isolate them, and defeat them. Everyone ready?
Mark: Shrek, Neo, and Ender hold up their pilfered rebel blaster rifles and put on their headsets. Fawkes squaks loudly.
Ender: Follow in five second intervals. Meet in the Junkyard. Go!
Tazz: Now Neo ducks through the warp door and lands in the colliseum. He tries to raise his allies on the headset...
Neo: Can you hear me now?
Tazz:...but just gets static. Shrek follows and lands in the Junkyard. Thankfully, Rand and Sailor Moon are a little further off.
Mark: Ender follows, and lands in Fangorn. The brown robed man sees him...
Lucas: So who is he, already?
Mark: ...and watches Ender go back through the warp door. Neo ducks back in at the same time and both land in the junkyard. Fawkes joins them shortly.
Ender: Okay, so the headsets don't work through the doors. Well, I can't say it surprises me. No matter. Fawkes, do your thing.
Rowling: Fawkes squaks and grabs Ender by the shoulder, taking boy, rifle, and headset up to the top of a tower of debris. Ender takes aim at Rand and Sailor Moon with his rifle.
Ender: In position. Go, Neo.
Mark: Neo dives into the junkyard and tackles Rand.
Neo: Let's get it on, blond boy!
Rand: Not you again! Take this!
Tazz: Rand shoots fire at Neo, but Neo bends it away from himself. Again, Rand is flummoxed.
Sailor Moon: I'll help you, Rand! Moon...Scepter...Hey!
Tazz: Fawkes has grabbed Moon by the hair and carries her over to the warp door, where Shrek grabs her and tosses her through. She lands, dazed, in Disneyland. She looks up, and sees Loki toying with the predator, making the bunny rabbit change into neon colors, bouncing it forceably around the walls, and cackling madly.
Sailor Moon: Oh, you poor bunny rabbit! Let me help you. Moon...Healing...Activation!
Tazz: And suddenly, the Predator returns to normal, uncloaked. Sailor Moon screams, and the predator snarls back, then dives through the warp door, landing in the Roman colliseum.
Cindy: Loki has stopped chuckling, and is looking at Moonie with something like astonshment.
Loki: You turned off my powers! How did you do that? No matter. Now, you must die!
Sailor Moon: I don't think so, you mean old man. On behalf of the Moon, I will punish you!
Mark: Well, that got Loki laughing again. That may be a good fight. Meanwhile...
Shrek: The girl's gone, boys! Ye've got a free zone!
Ender: Perfect! Just keep anyone from coming in, okay Shrek?
Shrek: You got it, smartie-boy!
Mark: Meanwhile, Rand ignites his fire sword and is desperately fighting Neo's full "One" powers. He scores a hit, and Neo's arm starts spurting blood.
Rand: Hah, Got you! Hey! No fair!
Mark: Fawkes' tears rain down on Neo, restoring him to full health. Neo and Rand are tangling, and seem about evenly matched. Meanwhile, Ender lines Rand up in his sights.
Ender: Move him a little to the left, Neo. There's a truck in the way.
Neo: Check, boss.
Mark: Neo fires his blaster pistol at Rand, who must dodge to escape it. Meanwhile, in Fangorn Spelldor has--
Lucas: Ha! That's Spelldor, eh?
Mark: Shoot. Yeah, That's Spelldor. He is a Nashad wizard, from "The Blight of the Dark", which means he can use a lot of magic, but only by using spell components. Like this one... Spelldor pulls a tiny crystal out of his belt--it is shaped like a snow flake.
Spelldor(in his head, not verbally): This is snow. Snow holds cold. I unleash the cold...
Mark: Suddenly a cone of frigid air shoots from his hands and extinguishes the fire. He reaches into his pouch and grabs a dessicated spider, and then steps through the warp door, landing in the Junkyard.
Shrek: Oh, no you don't, laddie!
Mark: A big green fist knocks Spelldor back through the door before he can get his bearings, and he lands in the colliseum. He shakes his head to clear it, and then hears an eerie snarling sound. He turns, sees a movement, and holds up the spider.
Spelldor (in his head, not verbally): This is a spider, spiders hold web, I release the web...
Mark: And suddenly, the cloaked predator is drowning in sticky strands, and getting very, very angry. Spelldor reaches into his belt to find something else to finish this invisible creature off...

(So, Spelldor and the Predator are in the colliseum. Sailor Moon and Loki are in Disneyland, Shrek is guarding the warp door in the Junkyard, Neo is battling Rand, and Fawkes is circling around up above, looking to see how he can help, and prepared to grab any new arrival that might help Rand. Ender is watching them all, and is setting Rand up in the sights of his laser rifle...)

Robert: Wow, this has been a long Rumble, lets see what we can do about finishing it.
George Lucas: Clearly my characters will win.
JRR Tolkien: No, mine will.
Robert: Do you two realize that all of your combatants are gone?
George and JRR: NOOOOOO!!!!
Robert: So Spelldor pulls out a slightly glowing rock and holds it in front of the Predator. "Lighted rock holds light, light cuts through invisibility, I release the light...
Albert Einstein: I hope he realizes what that is he is holding.
Robert: Nope, he has no idea.
Albert Einstein: This is not going to end well.
Robert: Nope, because if you hadn't guessed yet, he is holding a piece of uranium. The colisseum is rendered into its constituent atoms along with Spelldor and the Predator as a rather large nuclear detonation goes off.
Walt Disney: (sobs...) what is going to happen to the happiest place on earth?
Robert: Funny you should ask, Loki and Sailor Moon are doing a rather thorough job of trashing it as they attempt to blast each other. No one has landed a hit on the other one yet though.
Meanwhile in the junkyard...
Robert Jordan: Rand is evenly matched with Neo. This fight will go on indefinitely unless someone interferes. Ender keeps on trying to shoot Rand, but Rand's ta'veren- ness keeps any of the shots from landing.
Robert: Really strange things keep happening any time Ender has Rand in his sights. Ender will sneeze, or something will get in the way. Once, Ender takes a shot, only to have a Flash of light deposit the latest contestant in between him and Rand. Wesley Crusher gets killed by the blaster bolt .00001 seconds
after he enters the Rumble.
Gene Roddenberry: That's a new record isn't it.
Robert: Yep, Wesley held the previous record for quickness in dying in a Rumble and he just bested his own mark.
Orson Scott Card: This isn't really fair you know. Ender just ran out of power for his blaster. He's going to have to leave his sniper spot to find more ammo.
Robert: That's how things go when you are around someone who bends chance by his mere presence.

(So, Shrek... is still guarding the gate that he was before. Rand and Neo are dueling at a blinding pace while Ender is looking for more ammo in the junkyard. Fawkes is still circling. Loki and Sailor Moon are doing a good job of finishing off Disney Land. Fangorn forest is about burned down by now. The colisseum is a radioactive, smoking hole in the ground.)

RJ Wrote:
*FLASH*
RJ: And here comes the next to last competitor of Rumble 2005.
Jamie: He lands in that weird ice planet...
Lucas: IT IS HOTH!! The best... (He starts to cry.)
RJ: It is the mutant known as Pyro!
Pyro: Well I can't do anything here--I wonder if Iceman has...
Jamie: He jumps through the warp door and lands...
Tolkien: Oh NO!!! (He starts to cry.)
RJ: Yup in a burning Fangorn. Pyro slowly develops a wry smile.
Jamie: Meanwhile in Disneyland, Loki and Sailor are turning the once happiest place on earth to rubble. I guess that means that 3 ofr the arenas are destroyed--the Disneyland, the Colisseum, and now Fangorn. And the fighting is continuing in the junkyard--but really how can you destroy that more. So I guess everything will end in the other 2 arenas.
RJ: Make that one! It looks like Pyro has finished off Fangorn and has take fire back to Hoth. It doesn't take him long to make Echo Base and echo puddle.
Lucas: NOOOOOOO!!!! (Crys again.)
Stan Lee: Well It looks like one of my charcters really reaked havok on your guy's worlds.
Jamie: Meanwhile, Pyro happily steps through the door into the junkyard--he hides from the battle that is raging. Moments later Loki has chased Sailor into a warp door and they land in the junkyard too.
Mark: Oh isn't that convienent! Everyone is in the same place.
RJ: And with another flash of light the final competitor will arrive!

(So, Shrek, Ender, Neo and Fawkes are fighting Rand in the Junkyard, Pyro is hiding and Sailor and Loki have just arrived. Rumble ON!)

Brian Wrote:

Brian: Well it will be good to end this and get on with the new tournament. I wonder if the winner will get some sort of hidden bonus in the Tourney? Don't know how that might work, but I guess we also don't know who will win it, so here goes. That final flash of light reveals Indiana Jones. Yes that's right fans, the intrepid archaeologist joins the Incredible Hulk as the only two characters to have fought in each of our 7 Fantastic Fighting Events. Of course that's counting the new Tournament that we have started, send me your matches! That means that Simon Belmont, Batman, and Duncan McLeod are now down to all but one event. Though each is of course in the new tournament (send me your matches). They . . .
All: FINISH IT!!!
Brian: Send me your matches?
Lucas and Tolkien: Well this one was sort of a flop. I mean neither of us has a character in the finale even.
They walk out in a huff.
Jaime: Well that's a first. Lucas and Tolkien agreed on something!
Brian: Not only that, but Lucas even forgot that he had part inventorship of Indiana Jones!
Mark: Ok, we've waited long enough what happens in these last minutes before the 'endings'?
Brian: Oh yes, here we go. So Shrek, Ender, Neo, and Fawkes are battling it out in the Junkyard, but thanks to Rand's Ta'veren-ness (and the fact that #1's still can't be killed since it's not to the finale's yet) no one gets hit. Pyro decided to head for the warp door, but he ran into the Norse/Moon battle and is now wrapped up in that. Indiana Jones is watching from the relative sidelines of the car crusher. I think he's going to wait to see who wins and try his luck with that.
Stan Lee: Are you sure Pyro was heading for the warp door? I don't see it.
Brian: That's right, since the other 4 locations are in ruins, I shut them off. All the combatants are stuck here now. Makes the finale's a little simpler anyway. Speaking of which here we go.

(So, All are in the Junkyard. Shrek, Ender, Neo and Fawkes on one side; Loki, Sailor Moon, and Pyro on another; and Indiana Jones in roughly the middle.)

READ ON TO THE FINALES! CLICK HERE!