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Rumble 2004

Contestants:
Carol Dormady � Selecting: 1: Sailor Moon, 2 Sydney Bristow
Alexander Strubb � Selecting: 1 Gandalf, 2 Darth Revan (Early OUT)
Joseph McIntosh � Selecting: 1 Ash Ketchum, 2 Storm Shadow
Cindy Ailshie � Selecting: 1 Loki, 2 Han Solo
Mark Ailshie � Selecting: 1 Ender Wiggin, 2 Boba Fett
Robert Newell � Selecting: 1 Rand Al�Thor, 2 a Gholam
R.J. Harris � Selecting: 1 Shrek, 2 Pyro
Brian Ailshie � Selecting: 1 Neo, 2 Legolas

Let it Begin!
Brian Ailshie wrote:
***Pomp and Circumstance begins playing***
Loud Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce to you Our President, Brian Ailshie. Founder of Fantastic Fighting Inc. (Applause)
I am also pleased to announce the Vice-President and charter member, Mark Ailshie. (Applause) May I also announce the return of five special guests, Carol Dormady, Cindy Ailshie, RJ Harris, Robert Newell, and Alexander Strubb! (More Applause)
Ladies and Gentlemen, Our Hosts! (Much More Applause)
Our five distinguished guests are joined by many sportscasters, announcers, commentators, and other speakers who will help to give us all the details of this great Event, RUMBLE ROYAL 2004!!! (Deafening applause)
Ladies and gentlemen . . .
LLLLLLLLLLLETS GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
George Lucas: All Right! Lets get this started! So Mr. Tolkien, would you like to enter into a friendly wager as to who will win this years event?
JRR Tolkien: I believe that would be unwise, on your part. My creations will dominate again this year.
Lucas: Whatever! Don't get us ejected again, over you cryin' when my Jedi crush you're little beings.
Tolkien: They're halflings, and so far none have appeared in an event, so you have nothing. But come, what is your wager; I have nothing against taking your money from you.
Lucas: I think that this year's winner will be . . .
Brian: Sorry to interrupt guys, but we're about to start this! Though I might like to enter you're little wager, I have my suspicions as to the winner myself.
Anyway, Mr. Madden would you like to do the honors of starting us off again?
John Madden: It would be my pleasure Mr. President.
Brian: Please, call me Brian.
Madden: Yes Sir. Well, The sparks are beginning to build in the Medical Center on Hoth. Bolts of lightning tendril along the floor. **FLASH** And here is the first of our starters for this year's Rumble Royal.   It's Mace Windu. He immediately ignites his signature purple lightsaber.
**FLASH** And over in the Colosseum is Spartacus, sword in hand.
**FLASH** Look over in the Car Junkyard, it's Daniel-san.
Daniel: I don't care what Mr. Miyagi says; I am NOT going to wax all these cars!
Frank Herbert: I am going to join in this time, to introduce my queen among women, the Lady Jessica. She appears in Hoth in the southeastern most living quarter. Jessica shivers and mutters to herself "this is definitely NOT Arrakis!"
Captain Long Johns: Are ya ready kids?
Screaming Kid Chorus: Aye-aye Captain.
Captain: I can't hear you...
Screaming Kid Chorus: (louder) Aye-Aye Captain!!
Captain: Oooooooooh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Screaming Kid Chorus: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
Screaming Kid Chorus: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: If nautical nonsense be something you wish . . .
Screaming Kid Chorus: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
Screaming Kid Chorus: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: Ready?
Everybody: SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants!
Captain: SpongeBob . . . SquarePants! Haha!
John Madden: yeah, well SpongeBob is in the water off the coast of Tom Sawyers Island. That's in the Frontierland part of Disneyland. The Tick is in Disneyland too, he begins to scale the Matterhorn for a better look around.
Walt Disney: There is another character in Disneyland too. He is in Toon Town looking at Donald Duck's house and saying that it looks familiar. He is GizmoDuck!
Brian: At the same time, the Mummy, Brendan Frasier's old nemesis, appears in the forest of Fangorn. He is on the North end near the river and the combat wall.
Lucas: There is another fighter in the forest, and man will it be gruesome if and when they meet. The Rancor monster from Return of the Jedi!
**FLASH**
Tolkien: Oddly enough, the next warrior appears elsewhere. It is Fangorn himself, and he appears on Hoth. He is in the large-craft hanger near the 'wall.' Looking through he can dimly see the rest of the gargantuan bay, but he cannot go further that way. He starts across the hanger toward the door on the east wall.
Stan Lee: Meanwhile, back in the junkyard, the X-man of X-Men, Cyclops has the unfortunate experience of arriving inside one of the cars. He begins using short blasts from his eye-ray to free himself.
John Madden: Making that much noise is sure to bring the security guard or at least the Junkyard dog.
Brian: No, remember OSCA says no more innocent bystanders. Had to avoid that lawsuit! However we did make it possible for all the rides to run in Disneyland as if the workers were there! That aught to be interesting I think.
Lucas: Speaking of Disneyland, another of my creations just appeared there. I don't know if this is fair, I have three of my creations appearing at the beginning and J.R.R. only has 1.
Brian: You also have more creations than any of the others who appear regularly. Fear not, my money is still on you in the last 5 at least.
Lucas: Well, ok. Anyway, Jango Fett just appeared in Disneyland. He appears just outside the ride Disney built for me, Star Tours (it's next to Space Mountain, in TommorowLand). He steps inside
Clark Kent: The last two fighters appear together. They appear in Fangorn's forest where the river crosses the path. Looking at each other they press their fists together.
Jayna: Form of . . . a deer!
Zan: Form of . . . water droplets!
Kent: Then the water drops fall onto the fur of the deer and it bounds away down the trail.
Mr. Obvious: Five minutes flies by as the characters explore the vastness of the arena(s)
John Madden: And here's the flash of light as warrior number 15 warrior joins the fray.
**FLASH**

(So, the Mummy is in Fangorn forest, as is the Rancor, Zan and Jayna, none of which have seen each other yet. Mace Windu is just leaving the Med. Center and he could meet up with Treebeard soon, as he just reached the door out of the hanger. Lady Jessica is there too, trying on some of the dresses Leia left in her living quarters. SpongeBob, The Tick, Jango Fett, and GizmoDuck are in Disneyland. Daniel and Cyclops are in the junkyard, and Spartacus is in the Colosseum investigating the warp door)

Carol Wrote:
**FLASH**
�BEEEP, BEEEEeeEEeEEeeeeP� and a horrified �Aaauuugah!!� comes from Herbie from Disney�s �the love bug� as he appears in the junkyard by the car smasher.
Long John Silver: �Argh, but who might that flying fury of German engineering be!�
Herbie whistles, wildly opens and closes his doors and trunk before speeding off between the rows of his dead relatives bones. �Where am I?� thinks Herbie. �Have I died? Is this Hell�. there sure are a lot of Fords in here.� Terrified out of his steely senses, he crashes wildly from pile of cars to pile of cars, clipping Daniel-san who flies to the left and lands with a sickening crunch against a green Fairlane. Herbie doesn�t even stop to investigate his unintentional handiwork before flying blindly through a glowing yellow door�.
John Madden: Nice hit! Now that�s fahrvergnuegungen!
Meanwhile, in the Colosseum Spartacus is investigating the warp door. What new Imperial devilry is this? Suddenly, with a rush of wheels and a powerful �pop pop pop,� the People�s Car barrels through the warp door, as Spartacus rolls to his right into the dirt. Herbie comes to a skidding halt in a cloud of dust. �Now where am I? Am I back in Panama again? The bullring! Noooooooo!� BEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. Herbie, fearful that he is back in the bullring from �Herbie Goes Bananas� begins to race around the ring, slapping his hood up and down, unaware of the now recovered Spartacus. As Herbie makes a second pass around the Coliseum, Spartacus slashes at his rear wheel, flattening Herbie�s tire and losing his sword in the process. �Where did the Romans get this beast�so quick�so powerful�he can only be some creature from Germania!�
Long John Silver: Well I�ll be a hooked monkey bass, that little car�s still going!
Indeed, a flat tire is nothing for the little car who did battle with the evil Mr. Thorndyke. �Who is this jerk that just flattened my tire?� ponders our little bug as he sprays oil on Spartacus�s face and begins to speed off, making a turn and then speeding back toward the warp door. Spartacus, indignant, blind and angry roars �I�M NOT AN ANIMAL� and throws himself at the oncoming car, intent on wrestling the beast to the ground.
John Madden: Nice hit! He may be no animal, but that looks like road kill to me. Somebody clean that up.
Back at the Junkyard Daniel is inspecting his arm. "Dang, I think it is broken. Well if this place has crazed cars, and flashing laser beams, I think I'll head elsewhere� So Daniel limps to the warp door and appears in Echo base. By this time Cyclops has worked his way out of the car and starts to explore the junkyard.
Echo Base:
"Hmm. Now this is a tasteful outfit, but where are the shoes that match?" Lady Jessica spends five min looking for the appropriate footwear.
John Madden: Well, Lady Imelda here might last 20 rounds if she keeps this up.
As Treebeard stoops to try to leave the hanger Mace opens the door. Mr. Windu quickly hops back a couple of steps and says "Hello there tree-man." Treebeard stares down his knotted nose at the Jedi for what seems (to Mace) a long time. "What sort of wizard are you to have such a glowing stick?" Mace contemplates the giant tree person then says "A cold one!" Mace jumps at Treebeard and slashes off his right arm. Treebeard screams swinging his remaining main limb wildly, but Mace is a whirlwind, coming from every direction. "With a whack whack here and a whack whack there...," hums the Jedi Master. "Feel the force, twig-boy." Pummeled, bloodied and bruised, but nonetheless victorious, Windu builds a bonfire in the hangar from Treebeard's limbs "Now that is more like it. It is dang cold in here, and that giant thing couldn't get out of the bay anyway."
Disneyland:
After three or four times around the jungle cruise our pal SquarePants squishily walks over to the warp door humming his theme song. He tries to peak in, and is surprised when the Tick comes at him from behind. "SPOON!" shouts our big blue hero as he kicks Mr. Bob in his square pants. Bob goes flying into the side of one of the buildings. "I always hated his stupid theme song. Every Saturday, he's on before me and I get it stuck in my head. It is Tuesday before I can think straight.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Sponge-Bob you�re through.
Who's squishy and flattened and smells like bad stew?
Sponge bob square pants.....
Captain: Man that's rough!
Gizmo Duck hears the racket and heads toward the warp door to investigate.
Fangorn Forest:
Lucas: Our pal the rancor has spotted a deer in Fangorn's forest.
"Mmmm me hungry." Thinks the rancor, and then he roars a challenge to the glistening forest creature.
The Mummy, who had been heading in the rancor's direction, hears the bellow and beats a hasty retreat. "I wonder what is up that hill?" thinks the ancient Egyptian bad dude.
J.R.R.: Coward!
Lucas: But a smart one, my Rancor is a powerful opponent. It will take strength, and cunning beyond that pitiful leper's capabilities to defeat him.
Jayna and Zan turn to investigate and see this large snarling, slobbering beast stalking them. Jayna remembers that their mission is �to fight Injustice; to right that which is wrong; and to serve all mankind!"   "Zan, if anything is wrong that thing sure is." says Jayna "Let's right him!" With that the wonder twins unmorph and become their regular selves. Touching hands they say "Wonder Twin Powers, Activate!"
At the same time the rancor notices that he is not after a deer, but TWO people. He picks up speed and is almost on top of them when..."Form of...Ice slick" "Shape of.... brontosaurus" The twins morph once more. Our pal the Rancor (who had been going rather fast) slips on the ice slick like a golden retriever on a newly waxed floor. Jayna takes the opportunity to take her right foot smack dap on the top of the rancor. He's crushed. He's pulp. He's done.
J.R.R. What a hit! Take that Lucas.

(So, the Mummy is in Fangorn forest, by the warp door. Zan and Jayna, are in the forest by the path. Daniel just appeared in Echo base and is investigating near the warp door. Mace Windu is warming himself in the hangar. Lady Jessica is still in the room trying on shoes. The Tick, Jango Fett, and GizmoDuck are in Disneyland. Cyclops is in the junkyard, and Herbie is traveling by warp and comes out...)

Alexander wrote:
*Flash*
With a standard �flash� of light, our next contender arrives on the scene at Disneyland. Astride a massive, flying dragon creature, and armed with a sinister Morgul Blade and a crushingly huge morning star, it�s the WITCH-KING of ANGMAR!!!
J.R.R. Tolkien: Well, that�s it, Lucas. You�re done. No one can beat ol� Witchy!
George Lucas: Yeah, right! A little girl could kill him. It�s only men that have a problem. Who should take him out? Mara Jade? Leia? No, I know, Padme, complete with fabulous Episode 1 costume! Ha!
J.R.R. Tolkien: You mean UGLY Episode 1 costume! That�s not funny. You certainly won�t be laughing when that winged monstrosity takes a bite out of you!
With an eardrum splitting Nazgul shriek, the Witch-King flies northward.
Meanwhile, a cowardly mummified Imhotep steps through the Disneyland portal, having escaped the mayhem of Fangorn. All he knew was that he needed to get away from that Rancor creature.
Alexander: Now you�re all probably still wondering where Herbie pops out. Well, just as Imhotep is leaving Fangorn Forest, guess who appears! That�s right.
Jayna and Zan have a horrific shock to see the corny Disney creation in front of them. How could they destroy a sentient automobile? Herbie sends a threatening BEEP with his horn.
�I�ve got it!� cries out Zan, �FORM OF� a HAND GRENADE!� And with a flash of light, Jayna finds herself throwing her twin brother into Herbie!
BOOOOM! With a massive explosion, the Holy Zan Grenade of DC Comics blows Herbie to tiny bits. The Zan Grenade then reverts back to normal, or rather, the tiny pieces of normal Zan.
�Oh, no!� screamed Jayna. Her brother was dead! And what was worse, without her twin she was left without a source for her powers in this hostile world, all alone. She ran back into the forest, sobbing, terrified by the strange noises the talking trees surrounding her made.
Frank Herbert: Meanwhile, back on George�s silly ice world�
George Lucas: It�s not silly!
Frank Herbert: Anyway, back there, my splendid Lady Jessica has at last chosen the most beautiful outfit.
J.R.R. Tolkien: Surprise, surprise. A white jump suit with matching boots. Don�t your women ever wear anything else?
George Lucas: Of course not ... I mean, of course they do! My princesses have lots of outfits!
Alexander: Yes, we all know what happens when you try to put new clothes on the same old princess. Remember what was said about Episode 1 costumes earlier?
George Lucas: I resent that!
J.R.R. No, you resemble that.
Back to the Rumble�
Lady Jessica admired her new white jumpsuit. It was a perfect fit! If only there was someone to do her hair� Suddenly, her frivolous flights of fancy are interrupted by a young lad entering the door.
Daniel-san (to himself): Ok� wax on, wax off, wax on, wax off�
Lady Jessica: Who are you?
Daniel-san: Hai-ya!
Daniel attempts to Karate Chop Lady Jessica!
Lady Jessica: Hey! That hurt! You�ll pay for that!
Fortunately for her, she�s in much better physical condition than the youthful wanna-be Ninja. A swift roundhouse kick to the head from the steel-soled Leia boot puts Daniel-san on the ground, out cold.
Lady Jessica: What�s this?
She pries a blaster from Daniel�s grip. He must have obtained it somewhere in the Base. As she�s examining the weapon, she accidentally presses the trigger, creating a burning hole in Daniel-san�s chest as he lay comatose on the floor.
�Oops!� giggles Jessica, �that�s was a bad thing to do. Oh well.� She sets off down the Hallway towards where Mace Windu is still warming his hands in the hangar from the Treebeard bonfire�
Back at Disneyland�
Gizmo-Duck, Jango-Fett and the Tick hear the petrifying shriek of the Witch-King and set off running in all directions. Imhotep hears it too, but feels strangely drawn to it, one undead to another�
He follows the energies pulling him northeast to �It�s a Small World: the annoying Ride.�
Our Mummy feels at home near some of the Egyptian dolls that spin around singing. It�s kind of like the temple complex back at Heliopolis. He doesn�t even hear the swoop of wings behind him. At the last second he turns around to see his foe. But he doesn�t appear to Imhotep as the black-shrouded ghoul�
As an Undead-er himself, Imhotep sees Witch-King as he really is � the spectral white ghost wearing a pale silver crown. The King strokes his beard gently, and then rears up on his dragon, seizing the Mummy in its jaws. Imhotep screams, but is not killed, as he is already dead. What will happen next?
Panting, the Tick narrowly avoids the conflict, leaps the portal and comes out in the Junkyard! He lands right in front of Cyclops, who was investigating the strange portal.
�Spoon!� mutters the Tick.
To be continued�

(So, Jayna, the surviving Blunder Twin, is bawling her eyes out somewhere in Fangorn. Mace Windu is by his fire in the hangar of Echo Base, with Lady Jessica walking in his direction. Jango Fett and Gizmo-Duck are both trying to hide themselves in various locations in Disneyland. The Tick and Cyclops are facing off at the Junkyard, and the Witch-King�s dragon is clutching Imhotep in its jaws at Disneyland.)

Cindy Wrote:
Cindy: Well, well, well. Here I am at last. Sorry for the delay, but it was a bit daunting to have TWO rumbles going on at once, and one of them so astonishingly ENORMOUS that it has to be sent as an attachment�
Mark: Quit your complaining and get on with it!
Cindy: Yes, yes�all right. And would you look at that - it seems that our next contestant on the Fantastic Rumble-O-Rama is one of your very own characters, Mark � Yonder, the dwarven paladin! Radiant with his light, he appears at the Matterhorn in Disneyland. Being a mountain dwarf himself, this sight is somewhat comforting to him, though he is considerably bemused by the disparate surrounding sights of the amusement park. We�ll leave him to get his bearings for now and take a look at what�s happened to the other fighters in Disneyland. Ah � the senior Fett has found the warp door, and runs through it in the hopes of escaping the Witch-King�s presence. He pops out in Fangorn and immediately spots Jayna. He clasps his helmeted head in an attempt to block out the high-pitched shrieks she is emitting, but it�s no use. �Shut up!� he bellows. Jayna pays no heed, and he finally shrugs and blasts her. He only meant to stun her, but oops! The weapon was turned to �fry to a crisp.� So much for that.
Lucas: Chalk up another kill for one of my characters!
Tolkien: You may gloat, but remember that it was in fleeing one of MY creations that your precious Jingo accomplished his kill � and in MY Fangorn!
Lucas: It�s JANGO, Mr.-Maybe-I�ll-name-the-ringbearer-Bingo-instead-of-Frodo.
Tolkien: But I decided on Frodo, didn�t I? And what�s wrong with Bingo?
Elderly Bingo Player: B-7! You sunk my battleship!
Cindy: So, ANYWAY, back in Disneyland, Gizmo Duck has secreted himself nicely in a boat on the Pirates of the Caribbean, and is going through the ride over and over and over. The Witch-King�s beast has managed to bite off the Mummy�s head, which rolls around on the ground, eyes still blinking, mouth still opening and closing as if to speak, though that�s difficult without vocal chords. The headless body now flails and struggles in the Witch-king�s grasp�and we�d better go somewhere else; this looks like it�ll go on past five minutes.
Frank Herbert: Meanwhile, MY creation is approaching this Mace Windu fellow
Cindy: So what are you doing here, anyway? You�re not one of the regulars.
Herbert: Yes, but I�m the REAL Frank Herbert, and after my character was so GROSSLY misrepresented, I simply had to come in and set things right.
Lucas: Your characters were misrepresented? So what. I�VE been grossly misrepresented, blathering about stuff that makes no sense. Mara who??
Cindy: Don�t worry; it matters little. Anyway, Frank, what�s Jessica doing now?
Herbert: Using the Voice on Windu, ordering him to assist her.
Cindy: Sigh�you ought to know better than to have her use the voice on someone who would be quite skilled in mind-tricks himself. Mace simply raises his eyebrows and counters with his own hand-wave. �You will not attempt to persuade me.�
Lady Jessica: You WILL obey me!
Mace: You WILL obey ME!
Cindy: I guess this could go on for a while too. All right, lastly we have Cyclops and the Tick in the junkyard, where Cyclops is sizing up his strangely dressed opponent curiously. �And I thought I wore a tight jumpsuit!� he thinks to himself. To gauge the fighter�s reflexes, he fires an optic blast at a nearby heap of old tires, sending them tumbling down at the Tick�s feet. He leaps back in surprise. �Spoon!� he exclaims again.
Cyclops: What IS it with you and spoons?
Cindy: Perhaps we�ll have the answer in our next installment, but for now, my five minutes are up, and a new fighter is coming. Join us next time, as we see epic warriors battling for their lives, and embittered writers fight tooth and claw for supremacy in fandom�. all here on�.
FANTASTIC RUMBLE!

(So, Gizmo�s in the Pirates Ride, the Witch-king and the Mummy are still fighting in Disneyland, Yonder�s at the Matterhorn, Jango�s wandering Fangorn, Cyclops and the Tick are just getting started, and Lady Jessica and Mace are having a prolonged mind-trick battle)

Mark Wrote:
Mark: Well, well. Here it is at last, and, Oh my, this is far too huge to be believed. I think we must all try to not meander so long, or this will quickly become too big to fit in my e-mail box. Sheesh, this is only four of us, and it�s already ten pages long! I�ll try to make it quick for my story.
Not Santa Claus: Well, if we thinned the herds a little it would become easier to write! Ho, Ho, Ho! Let�s go, Mark, and turn them all into paste!
Ralph Wiggim: I like paste!
Mr. T: All right, suckas, sit still and watch tha� carnage! Jango just got done frying that freaky wonder chick to a crisp, when there�s a flash across the clearing from him. It�s a big guy that�wait a minute? Where�s that music coming from?
Essential entry music: Weh-he-heeeeelll . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Well it�s the BIG SHOW!!!
Michael Cole: It�s the Big Show, Taz, all 6 feet, ten inches, 500 pounds of the largest professional athlete in the world today!
Taz (From SmackDown, not Warner Bros): It sure is, Cole, and he don�t look intimidated by Jango in the least.
Ralph Wiggim: My cat�s name is Mittens.
Lucas: Well, Fett isn�t scared of him either. See him coming right for him. He shoots his cable line at him, wrapping up his arms, then closes on him and draws his blaster�
Cole: But wait a minute! The Show has snapped the cable, and now he uses it to knock Fett over. Oh, I think the Show has got up on the wrong side of the bed today! He�s going on the attack, and Jango�s got to be feeling those punches, even through that armor. His Helmet has been knocked clear off his head, and look at him reel!
Lucas: It�s only momentary! Just wait until he can get one of his guns into play!
Mr. T: The Big Show has knocked his weapons away, and now the big man is locking on some kind of modified choke hold on his throat. Look at the pressure he�s exerting!
Lucas: Big deal! No phony-baloney sleeper hold is going to knock down Jango Fett! Everyone knows that stuff isn�t real.
Tolkien: Uh, George . . .
Taz: Wow, never mind knocking him out, Cole, I think the Big Show is going straight for the kill! With that kind of pressure on his spine, there�s no telling what could happen.
Lucas: Why isn�t he fighting him off? Everyone knows this wrestling stuff isn�t real!
Tolkien: George, neither are lightsabers!
CRACK!!
Cole: Oh my goodness! The Big Show has snapped Jango�s neck like a celery stalk! And the Bounty hunter falls to the forest floor, while Big Show roars in triumph!
Ralph Wiggim: When I grow up I want to be either a principal or a caterpillar.
Taz: And now, the Show might grab some of Fett�s weapons, too. Although Show generally prefers to fight with his bare hands . . .
Mr. T: Enough Jibba-Jabba! Cyclops and the Tick are getting� down and dirty in the used car lot. Tick picks up a �94 Chevy and chucks it at the mutant, but Cyclops just uses his eyebeam to blast it away. Tick decides to try a more direct approach and charges him like a bull.
Tick: SPOON!
Mr. T: Cyclops can see him comin�, and just like a matador, he dodges aside at the last minute, and the Tick tackles thin air and goes blasting through the warp door. That�s the end from this side. Who�s next?
Ralph Wiggim: Doctor said I�d stop getting nose bleeds if I just kept my finger out of there.
Frank Herbert: Not too much going on here on Hoth, T. At least not much that can be seen. However in the astral realm of the mind, it�s another story.
Mr. T: Quit that Jibba-Jabba, or I�m gonna toss you hekuva far!
Herbert: Alright, geez! All I was gonna say is that Lady Jessica seems to have a bit of an edge on the mind tricks, but not enough to make any serious commands. She is starting to think she ought to find another solution.
Lucas: Mace is getting sick of this too, but he�s just ignited his lightsaber, ready to try some �aggressive negotiations.� Lady Jessica stumbles backward, realizing that Windu is about to attack.
Jessica (trying the voice still): It�s not right to attack a lady.
Mace: Using the force to try to muddle an opponent? That sounds sith-ish to me.
Lucas: He advances, his glowing purple blade humming. Lady J decides that discretion is the better part of Valor and flees down the corridor, Mace in hot pursuit.
Herbert: But she�s going to make it! Even in those shoes, she has too much of a head start! She�s almost to the warp door�
Taz: Whoa! That�s gotta hurt! Mace just threw his lightsaber like a javelin and punched it right through Lady J�s back!
Not Santa Claus: Ho, Ho! She�s become a bloody human shish-ke-bob on a glowing stick. How festive!
Lucas: The force of the strike propels her dead body�along with the lightsaber�through the warp door.
Ralph Wiggim: My name is Ralph!
Mickey Mouse: And now to MY world, ha, ha! It looks like Gizmo Duck is well at home in Disney land, and is enjoying the Pirates ride�it�s about fifteen minutes long, so he ought to be in there about five more minutes after Mark�s time is up. Mean while, the Witch King has been beating the stuffings out of the Mummy, and now he�s letting his dragon beast eat the crusty, decaying remains! Ha, Ha! Might give it indigestion. But Just as Witchy is finishing up, suddenly he feels the approach of a powerful good influence.
Yonder: I don�t know you, but I can sense your evil. And so, in Mian�s name, I demand you yield and surrender.
Witch King: You fool! I don�t know this Mian, but you cannot harm me! I bear a charmed life that can never yield to the arm of any man!
Mark: Yonder laughs and comes instantly ablaze with light. He holds forth his long blazing spear; the weapon blessed by Mian, the Shining Lady of the Crossroads.
Yonder: In the first place, demon, I am no man, but a dwarf. But when I vanquish you, it will not be my arm. I myself am but the arm of my patroness. What I do I do in her name, and with her strength in my body, your fear cannot afflict me. Yield, or be destroyed.
Tolkien: Then the Witch King hesitates, uncertain how this knowledge could affect the prophecy which has kept him safe for so long. And there�s another flash of light.
Ralph Wiggim: I bent my Wookie!

(So, The Big Show is in Fangorn, wondering if his hands are too big for Fett�s guns. Mace is on Hoth, wondering where his Lightsaber got to. Tick is in the colosseum, wondering how he got there, Cyclops is in the used car lot, wondering who this dead woman is that just appeared out of the warp door, GizmoDuck is in Disneyland, wondering how long this ride will last, And the Witch King is on Main Street, USA, wondering whether the prophecy allows Yonder to kill him.)

Robert Wrote:
Robert: Wow, this is really long. I was wondering when it would get to me.
Mr. T.: I pity you foo� Quit yo� jibba-jabba or I�ll throw you heckuva far!
Robert: Right� was that English? Anyway on to the Rumble!
Walt Disney: GizmoDuck, who by the way would never have been created if I was still alive, is getting impatient with the long ride. He sprouts a propeller out of his head and takes off, looking for enemies to vanquish.
Robert: Enough cameos from dead guys, I want�
JRR Tolkien: Sorry, but you�ll have to endure another one. The Witch King of Angmar doesn�t have any time to wonder about the prophecy as Yonder goes on the offensive. They seem to be fairly evenly matched. Neither is giving any ground� until, what is this?
Robert: That would be our newest challenger. Neither the Witch King nor Yonder noticed a flash of light above them while they were battling. The new Rumbler stealthily moves behind the paladin.
JRR Tolkien: Yonder has knocked the Witch King to the ground. In his victory, he lets his pride get to him for a moment. Out of seemingly nowhere, a bug monster bites yonder in the back of the head, swallowing his brain in one gulp. What could that be? Some offspring of Ungoliant?
Robert: I guess maybe, but the rest of us would recognize the new contestant as an Alien. Yonder crumples to the ground, dead as a doornail as the saying goes. At the same moment, GizmoDuck lands in front of the Witch King. He doesn�t see the Alien only the Witch King. He assumes that Yonder fell at the Ringwraith�s hand.
George Lucas: Interesting really, but let�s get back to MY character.
Robert: Fine George, let�s see� The Big Show has stuck Jango�s blasters in the front of his belt. He leaves the bounty hunter�s corpse in the forest and looks for another opponent through the warp door. Unfortunately for him, he arrives on Hoth and sees Mace Windu down the hall.
Vince McMahon: Why is that unfortunately? The Big Show can take some old fogey like Windu. He doesn�t even have his lightsaber. My call is The Big Show ripping the Jedi in half in half a minute.
Robert: Right� that might happen� no wait, that�s absolutely ridiculous. Whather the �wrestler� would have a chance against a jedi in hand-to-hand combat becomes a speculative question as Mace Windu reaches out with the Force and pulls that triggers of Jango�s blasters. That had to hurt. He won�t be having any children. Mace pulls the blasters to himself and finishes The Big show with a double tap to the chest.
Stan Lee: Cyclops hasn�t got much to do other than look at a dead� wait a minute. She�s not dead? She has a hole in her chest, but I guess that isn�t enough to kill a Bene Genneserit. She is in some kind of healing trance. If I remember correctly, that is called a prana bindu something or other. Cyclops would never harm a defenseless lady. Especially since Jessica came out of her trance for a second to use the Voice on him. Cyclops carries Lady Jessica to a secluded corner of the Junkyard and waits for her to heal as per his orders.
Robert: Last but surely not least, the Tick, bored by this new locale, goes back through the door he came in. Where he�ll appear next is anyone�s guess.

(So, The Tick just walked into a warp door, unsure of where he is. Cyclops is guarding Lady Jessica as she heals herself. Mace Windu continues the search for his lightsaber (which the Lady Jessica is holding onto at the moment) though Mace does have Jango Fett�s blasters. The Witch King and GizmoDuck are facing off while the Alien looks forward to snacking on duck brain right behind them.)

RJ Wrote:
RJ: Well, It looks like the end of Round One is near...and my, my there have been quite a lot of killing already! 12 Fantastic Fighters in only half an hour--that's quite a lot. Wouldn't you agree, Mr. Fudd?
Elmer: Yes, I would have to agrwee. I havewent seen this much kwilling since I last visited the Fantastic Wrumble. I can bet that therwe are gowing to be more kwilling with this newest competiwor.
RJ: Yes indeed, for it's Skeletor! He has appeared in the vacated Colosseum. He looks at his surroundings and realizes he is not anywhere near his home anymore.
Elmer: Meanwhiwle, the Twick has appeawrered in the scawry foewerts on Fangworn.
Tick: Spoon! I just can't understand what is going on. Oh, how I wish I was home!
RJ: I bet you do big blue man. Anyway, it seems that the only real action is occuring in Disneyland.
Elmer: It is twrue. Cyclops and the Lady Jessicwa are in the cawr lot still and Mace is stwill on the cwold planwet of Howth, but he decides to go thwrough the warwp door...He sweems to be supwrised by the chwange.
Mace: This is of the Dark Side.
RJ: He has entered Fangorn as well. The Tick is walking around, looking at trees and desperatley trying to catch some birds.
Elmer: What abouwt Disnewyland?
RJ: Oh right! As the Alien continues to circle around GizmoDuck, the Witchking strikes and literally knocks the duck out of the Gizmo suit. Now he is only GizmoDuck's alter ego, Fenton Crackshell. At long last he sees the Alien, screams in horror, and runs to hide in the Indiana Jones' tunnel. I think he might still need his suit though.
Elmer: The Witchkwing has alswo noticed the Aliwen. Perhawps the fwirst alliwence is to be mawde.
RJ: Well, I don't know. The Witch King knows that no man can kill him, and this creature certainly would qualify as non-man. BUT, a creature that strong and dominating could help him in the Rumble. The Witch King has been here before and knows how to handle himself.
Witch King: Mighty creature of Darkness! Let us join together and rid this fight of men!
RJ: Of course, the Alien is not dumb either. Dead innards are not that appetizing and a friend in the fight might be beneficial. They walk off together through a warp door in search of new prey. What is happening in Fangorn, Elmer?
Elmer: I thwink that Mace is finalwy gowing to appwroch the Twick.
Tick: Hello man. Do you have a spoon? Or are you a spoon?
RJ: I think the Tick has finally lost it.
Mace: No, I am not a spoon. I am a Jedi. You seem to be a very strong man, is that right?
Tick: Yes, I am strong, but just not that bright.
Brian: I hate to interrupt, but the five minutes are almost up...and I am anxious to commentate again. So, I'll finish up for you guys.
RJ and Elmer: OK

(So, Well, the Healing Trace in the car lot has at last worked on Lady Jessica. She has Cyclops in her power via the Voice. Mace and the Tick have finished up their introductions and are walking around Fangorn together. Fenton (AKA GizmoDuck) is alone in Disneyland, still in hiding, while the Alien and Witch King have appeared in the Roman Colosseum with Skeletor. And a *FLASH* of light brings the next Rumbler....)

Brian Wrote:
**Flash**
Robin: Holy Carnage Batman!
Other voice: Oh, the pain, the pain!
Brian: Well as we finish off round 1 of Rumble 2004, I finally get to introduce my first character. Besides the starters that is. The flash of light brought us Edmond Dantes, also known as the Count of Monte Christo.   How coincidental, I just watched that movie last night!
Tolkien: Well, I don't figure he'll accomplish much, he's alone on George's ice ball, and doesn't seem to be in to much of a hurry to get out of there. In the meantime, let me tell about my character. The Witch King sees another evil being. Perhaps some strange wraith like himself? It has the face of a skull. The alien thing, sees no innards to eat so it pretty much ignores Skeletor too.
Witch King: Join our league of evil and we will crush these puny mortals.
Tolkien: Skeletor seems to be only mildly effected by the fear radiating from the Nazgul Lord. However, he decides that against two such enemies he is outmatched and decides to join and look for an opportunity for betrayal later. The three new allies turn and step through the warp door one by one.
Brian: Unfortunately for their alliance, stepping through independently separates them. The Witch King returns to Disneyland, the Alien goes to Fangorn, and Skeletor appears in the hallway on Hoth.
Lucas: Ok, my turn. My character is in Tolkien�s 'spooky' haunted forest. *Cough-lame*
Tolkien: Oh like your stupid Ice-ball is any better!
Brian: Ok guys, enough or you're leaving for good this time.
Tolkien and Lucas: Sorry.
Lucas: Anyway, Mace Windu and the muscle-brain see the alien appear and prepare for battle. The Tick launches himself at the alien and grapples with it. His strength is enough to hold the Alien's claws or teeth from tearing at his innards, but only barely. Meanwhile Windu lines up for a shot and fires Jango's blasters. That Alien's got tough hide! It gives a shriek of anger and lashes at Mace with its tail. He falls over, and the blasters fly from his hands.
Brian: And here is another flash of light!

(So, GizmoDuck, aka Fenton Crack shell, is still in the Indiana Jones ride; and The Lord of the Nazgul is swooping over the Magic Kingdom. Cyclops and Lady Jessica are setting up some defenses against any coming attacks in the Junkyard. Skeletor is wandering around Hoth, by the cross-corridor leading to the Command Center; and the Count is looking at Luke's Snow Speeder. Lastly in Fangorn, The Tick, Mace Windu, and the Alien are locked in deadly combat.)

Round 2

Carol Writes:
**Flash**
"There... Out in the Darkness..... A fugitive running... Fallen from Grace... "
(Windu, the alien and The Tick all freeze and their heads turn toward the sound of singing in the brush mouths agape.)
Tolkien: What fool is this caterwauling in the woods?
Lucas: Is this Broadway?
(Suddenly a shot rings out and the alien falls dead, brains drooling out his eye socket.)
"Stars... in their multitude...scarce to be counted. Filling the darkness, with order and light."
Tolkien: What is going on here. The Tick is struggling out from under the alien�s body, Windu looks confused and some mad man is out here.
Victor Hugo: That is a mad French-man if you please. And he is only trying to create order form chaos. That's what he does.
Lucas: Who are you?
Victor Hugo: I write books � I�m sure you�ve heard of those, Mr. Lucas? But probably not mine since they don�t have talking animals, laser beams or level fifteen rogue dwarves with ranged weapons in the princess palace of power.
Lucas: *gasp*
Victor Hugo: Draw your attention to a true man of moral character, gentleman.
(Javert reaches out and pulls Windu to his feet. The Tick pushes the body of the Alien to the side).
Tolkien: Perhaps we should see what is happening elsewhere. Things in Fangorn have gotten decidedly calm.
Meanwhile, back in Disneyland�
John Madden: Nothing to see here folks, move along, the Lord of the Nazgul just sat down to a duck dinner� What�s that neat little gizmo he�s chewing on?
Meanwhile, on Hoth�.
Lucas: Finally, we�re back in a REAL setting and some real excitement.
Tolkien: (quiet snoring).
Carol: If you boys can�t play nice we�re gonna eject you from the rumble. What we want is a peaceful society. Just look at how Skeletor is eyeing that nice young Count fellow. See the smile on his face�.
Lucas: Yeah, looks like the Count is about to have a real scream with Skeletor sneaking up on him.
(The Count of Monte Christo is leaning over Luke�s snow speeder as Skeletor sneaks up).
BLAAAAAAM!   BLAAAAM!! BLAAAAAM!!
(The first snow speeder blaster blast blasted off Skeletor�s cheaply made chest crossy belt thingee while the other two ripped through his body like 9 year old�s heated pocket knife in a poorly designed action figure.)
Lucas: Well, looks like the Count had his own little ruse going on.
Tolkien: *snort�snug�zzzzzzz*
Carol: Teee heee
Meanwhile, back in the Junkyard�.
Jessica: Put that car over there
Cyclops: Yes ma�am
Jessica: Put that car over here.
Cyclops: Yes ma�am.
John Madden: Looks like all we have is a Junkyard Extreme Makeover here, folks. Guess we need to wait for the next
***FLASH***

(So, The Lord of the Nazgul is eating duck in the Magic Kingdom. Cyclops and Lady Jessica are setting up some defenses against any coming attacks in the Junkyard. Skeletor is splattered all over the walls of the Hoth base and the Count is looking for his next trap to set. Lastly in Fangorn, The Tick, Mace Windu, and Javert are discussing the formation of a peaceful society.)

Alex wrote:
Well, I think I'm dropping out of this rumble, but my one last contribution is:
The Balrog of Morgoth enters Disneyland at the ticket booth, ready for fiery destruction and killing-you-guy badness!
Thanks, Alexander

(So, as above plus the Balrog at the front gate of Disneyland)

Cindy wrote:
Cindy: It would seem that the Balrog didn�t get around to much destroying in these first five minutes, unless you count the trail of charred rubble and ashes that he leaves everywhere he goes�no one is in Disneyland except his fellow Tolkien-creation, The Witch-King, and the Balrog hasn�t made his way to the Magic Kingdom. And what about our newest competitor?
Alexandre Dumas (pronounced through the nose, all snooty-like): Well, as long as we�re bringing in characters from great French novels, why not one of my Musketeers? It�s Athos, the swashbuckling, fencing, devoted defender of the king, appearing in Hoth.
Cindy: Frankly, I much prefer Hugo�s work. No offense.
Dumas: >Grumble<
Hugo: and speaking of which, let�s look at my justice-obsessed Inspector Javert�
Cindy: Yes. I was wondering about him myself. Tell me�Is this the Phillip Guast Javert, or maybe the Terrance Mann incarnation, or�
Hugo: Huh?
Cindy: Sorry. Just a bit of my geekiness coming out. But tell me, seriously. I mean, he didn�t sing in the book, so he has to be SOME Broadway incarnation.
Hugo: You are very odd. In fact, your twisting, confused thought patterns remind me of the labyrinthine sewers of Paris in the 1830�s�
Cindy: Now who�s odd? ANYWAY, Javert is growing restless. He needs a good dose of law enforcing to feel invigorated. He leaves Mace and the Tick mid-discussion in search of someone of whom he can demand, �Tell me quickly what�s the story. Who saw what and why and where? They will make a full report here, let them answer to Javert!�
Mace: So�er�what now?
Tick: SPOON! I think I�ll take a nap!
Cindy: Mace shrugs and leaves the big blue tick curled up under a tree. He zips through the portal into the junkyard, and immediately notices Cyclops and Jessica in their little fort. Cautiously, he reaches for his lightsaber.
On Hoth, meanwhile, the Musketeer is just about to come upon the Count�s trap, and who knows but there may be a heated confrontation in very nasal French? We shall see�

(So, Mace is in the Junkyard, confronting Cyclops and Jessica. Javert is getting lost in Fangorn while the Tick sleeps. Balrog is about to meet the Witch-King in the Magic Kingdom. Athos and the Count are on Hoth, and Cindy and Mark are holding a memorial service for Yonder, who was a much better and braver paladin than that death made him look. Grr.)

Mark wrote:
Tolkien: The Balrog stalks down Main Street USA, looking for something to destroy. He sees plenty�Disneyland is almost tailor-made as something the Balrog would want to destroy. But then he turns a corner, and Lo! He sees an ally! Or, at least, one who should be an ally, were there not no one else to fight. The Balrog roars, the Witch-king�s mount hisses, they size each other up�
Mark: And suddenly there is a very small flash of light directly between them. The light fades to reveal�a pint-sized bear with blue fur.
Not Santa Claus: What? A care bear? He�ll be squashed to jelly before you can say �knife.�
Mark: The Witch King and Balrog grin evilly and stare down at the tiny bear, who starts stuttering as he backs away.
Bear: Th-There�s no reason to mook lean!�Uh, Look mean!
Mark: He scrambles for something in his coat and brings out a scrap of paper.
Bear (reading): Tamurn umup-sumide dumown!
Mark: Suddenly, the Balrog and Witch-king find themselves turned upside down and dumped on their heads. Now they�re very angry!
Zummi Gummi: Whoops! Th-That wasn�t what I dent to moo. Uh, Meant to do.
Mark: Zummi Gummi reaches into his vest again and withdraws a tiny bottle of red juice, which he downs quickly. The Balrog and Witch King are on their feet, and begin to chase him, as he bounces frantically down the street, switching direction faster than they can follow.
(Those of you who have forgotten the Gummi Bears�Zummi is a wizard, though not a very good one. He can�t remember spells, so he writes them down, and frequently gets them mixed up. He can also drink Gummiberry juice (He�d got about a half-dozen bottles), which makes him bounce like rubber for a limited amount of time. While bouncing, he is hard to catch. Gummiberry juice, incidentally, has other interesting effects on other creatures�Humans get super strong, but can only drink once a day)
Not Santa Claus: You better bounce, you poor doomed bear, or those two monsters will toast you like a marshmallow! Ho, Ho, Ho!
Mark: Meanwhile, in Fangorn, Javert is really getting lost. He climbs a tree so he can look at the�
Javert: Stars! In your multitude! Scarce to be counted. Turning the chaos, to order and light!
Mark: Tick likes the far away music, and it works for him like a lullaby.
Dumas: And Athos is shouting at the Count�None of you stupid Americans would understand, since they speak in their very refined French.
Cindy: French was a Creole conglomeration created from Latin and Old Gallic.
Hugo: What?
Dumas: What do you mean, a �Creole?�
Cindy: Never mind. It would just upset you.
Dumas: Well, anyway, I will translate. Athos is calling him a very bad man for fighting with traps and dares him to meet him sword to sword. The count responds by questioning Athos� parentage and inviting him to do that which is physically impossible. Athos answers by waving his sword and telling the count that he blows his nose at him, and farts in his general direction.
Mark: All right, we get it. The two stuffy French snots are trading insults for a week. On to the Junkyard, where�
Dumas and Hugo: What? Stuffy French snots? You, you stupid American Pig-dog!
>Eject< >Eject<
Mark: Not taking that. Now in the junkyard, Mace reaches for his saber only to discover�
Jessica (waving the saber she has plucked from her back): Looking for this?
Mace: Oh no. My old teacher would be so disappointed.
Jessica: Attack him!
Cyclops: Yes, Ma�am.
Mark: Cyclops shoots a blast at Mace, who uses the force to move a hubcap up to deflect it. Cyclops blasts again, and Mace dodges the shot. A third he intercepts by sending a Toyota into the path of the blast. It probably deserved it.
Mace: I can�t do this forever.
Mark: so saying, he reaches out with the force and grabs Cyclops, and then propels him through the air and through the portal!
Jessica: No! Come back!
Mark: While Jessica is distracted, he snatches away his lightsaber and catches it, smiling grimly. Meanwhile, Cyclops flies through the portal and lands in Fangorn right on top of the Tick.
Tick: Oof!
Cyclops: No! I�ve got to save her!
Mark: So saying, Cyclops dives back through the portal, and lands in Disneyland, where some far off roars tell him he has other people to help.
Tick: Well, if there�s a lady that needs saving, I�m the one to do it. That�s what super heroes are for!
Mark: So saying, he dives through the portal and lands in Hoth, where he can hear the stuffy French argument from all the way down the hall.

(So, Zummi Gummi is fleeing from the Balrog and the Witch-King in Disneyland�Cyclops has just arrived there. Mace is advancing on Jessica in the Junkyard. Javert is singing in a tree in Fangorn. Athos and the Count of Monte-Christo are arguing in French, on Hoth, where the Tick has just arrived. And the Coliseum is empty. Still.)

Robert Wrote:
FLASH
JK Rowling: Javert is still singing in his tree and thus did not hear or see the new competitor enter the Rumble�
You Know Who: Avada Kedavra!!!
Victor Hugo: NON!!! Vous ne pouvez pas le tuer, il avez �t� cens� commettre le suicide!
JK Rowling: Avada Kedavra!!!
Victor Hugo: Je� (thump)
JK Rowling: You Know Who sneers at the corpse of the Frenchman and jumps into the portal. Where will he strike next?
Robert: And now Volde�
Ron Weasley: Don�t say his name!
Robert: Why not? I have nothing to fear from him.
Hermione Granger: Just don�t, please!
Robert: Fine, You Know Who has appeared in Hoth. He raises his wand�
Athos: Qu�est-ce que c�est? Qui est cet chien de porc Anglais?
You-Know-Who: Avada Kedavra!!
Athos: Vous etes une� (thump)
JK Rowling: You Know Who isn�t playing around anymore. He�s sick of getting eliminated so quickly Rumble after Rumble. From now on he�ll be shooting first and asking questions later. In fact�
Alexandre Dumas: Madame, je vraiment dois protester. Vous ne� (le thump)
JK Rowling: �so will I.
Robert: Whoa, settle down Mrs. Rowling.
JK Rowling: I can�t stand the French.
Robert: I can tell. Well, the Tick and the Count of Monte Christo are staring slack jawed at You-Know-Who. This could get interesting. Now, on to Lady Jessica and Mace Windu. Lady Jessica, unable to make the Voice work on a Jedi, flees like a Harkonnen. She makes it to the portal right before Mace catches up with her. She ends up in the Colosseum, and Mace, who follows a half second later, ends up in Fangorn.
Walt Disney: Well, let us see how my creation will fair against yours JRR.
Robert: You know him?
JRR Tolkien: Well, we have a lot of free time now that we are dead� in any case, the Gummy Bear is looking like quite a delectable confection to my creations. You do have the bad luck of having Zummi Gummy facing off against two of the most vile and monstrous beings in all of Middle Earth.
Walt Disney: That�s okay; it�s all Michael Eisner�s fault anyway. Just wait till I get my hands on him�
Robert: Well, you don�t have to speculate on it any more; the Gummy Bear is toast� quite literally. The Balrog has fried it to a crisp. The Witch King ate its soul and tossed the carcass to the Balrog. My my, this is very peculiar. The effects of Gummiberry juice on Balrogs have never been documented before� the Balrog�s body has become noncorporeal. The flames are still corporeal, but everything else just passes through its body� eeww, like the half chewed, soulless corpse of yummy Zummi Gummy.

(So, the noncorporeal Balrog and the Witch King of Angmar are puzzling over the Balrog�s new form, or lack thereof. Cyclops is sneaking up on them, or at least trying to. The Lady Jessica is in the Colosseum. Mace Windu is in Fangorn. The Tick and the Count of Monte Christo are about to die on Hoth before the might of You Know Who.)

RJ Wrote:
*FLASH*
(Cheesy love music playing). Chorus: Our love is like a story book story, It�s as real as the feelings I feel��
Mark: Hey I know that music!
RJ: That�s right buddy, it is the love theme from the film version of �The Princess Bride.� And it introduces the next character.
Fezzik: The dread pirate Roberts!
Inigo: No, it is the Man in Black.
RJ: You are actually both right; although he is also known as the farm boy Wesley, Princess Buttercup�s true love. He has entered the fight in the Forest of Fangorn. Mace sees him and senses a good presence from the Force he know that this man in black in no foe but an ally. There won�t be any killing here.
Vizzini: INCONCIVABLE! He has entered the Rumble and must therefore die. I bet any of the fighters could dispose of him.
RJ: Well, I am not so sure about that. The killing is actually going on in Hoth.
Lee Jordan: It looks like You-Know-Who is out to kill everyone this time�but I bet he won�t get the best of the fabulous Harry Potter. Or any of the mighty Griffendors that have done so well in Rumbles past. I have often thought that the Rumble would take on a whole new direction if we would hold it in a Quiddich match. Then the Weasley twins would do quite well and�
Prof. McGonagall: Jordan! Please continue with you announciation, before you receive detention with Snape!
Lee: Right-o, Professor! Well-You-Know-Who has cried the Unforgivable Curse on the big blue Tick (Tick: Oh, SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!) and he dies.
RJ: Meanwhile, the Count has jumped portal while Voldemort was doing his deadly deed.
Lee: Don�t say his name!
RJ: Well �He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named� missed out on killing the Count, who ducked into the portal and has come face to face to Lady Jessica in the Colosseum. He immediately responds to the Voice and begins to serve his Lady in the blistering hot sun keeping her cool in the Emperor�s Box.
Fezzik: I think she is quite the charmer.
Inigo: But what is up with a Jedi and a boy Farmer?
Lucas: HEY! It has worked before, why not now? Mace could train Wesley in the ways of the Force.
Tolkien: Force, Scmorce. Neither one of them would last long against my creations in the �Happiest Place on Earth� (next to jolly ole England of course.)
Stan Lee: Well it appears that my creation, Cyclops is doing just fine so far. He is agile enough to withstand the sword of the Witch King and fast enough to dodge the Balrog.
Tolkien: But his eye blast has no effect on either. The only thing it has done is destroy the Magic Kingdom!
Disney: NO!!!!!!!!!!! My paradise is no more. (Weeps)
Tolkien, Lucas, and Stan Lee: Weinie! (Surprised that they all agree.)
RJ: The question is though, how long can he withstand fighting against two mighty foes? Will no one be able to aid him?
John Madden: Well, we will find out soon, because here come another flash of light. (Right after these messages from our sponsors.)
SPONSOR: When you are looking for that perfect something for that perfect someone, come to Fred Meyer Jewelers�.They are the best. (And everything is so shiny!)
*FLASH*

(So, the evil Dark Lord Voldemort is on Hoth, now alone; Wesley and Mace have made a friendship in Fangorn; the Count of Monte Cristo is serving Lady Jessica in the Roman Colesuem; and the Witch King, Balrog, and Cyclops battle in Disneyland.)

Brian Wrote:
(SIDE NOTE: With Alexander out, his picks are now free for anyone to introduce. So if anyone wants Gandalf or Darth Revan [whoever that is] you got 'em.)
Our newest fighter appears in the Colosseum, behind the Emperors box. He watches the pair for a while. "A man of honor should not interrupt the repose of a lady." He mutters to himself, and before Jessica or her Count take notice of him he disappears through the warp door. He appears in Fangorn where he sees 'a large Negro' and what seems to be a mirror image of himself.
Wesley: Roberts?!?!
Masked man in black: I am the great Zorro!
Swish! Swash! Swish! He emblazons a large Z on a nearby tree. Windu senses the good and love of true justice in this man and the three decide to work together.
Wesley: There seems to be no new foes here. Shall we depart?
He steps toward the warp door
Windu: Just a minute. I have seen that these portals seem to travel differently each time we go through them. Perhaps if we step through together?
Zorro: A grand idea. Here, hold on to this.
He uncoils a black leather whip and each of them grab hold of a piece of it (Zorro has the handle).
Windu: on three, ready?
Wesley: One . . .
Zorro: Dos . . .
Windu: Three . . .
Stan Lee: Meanwhile, in Anaheim, I mean Disneyland, Cyclops has had one to many close calls and decides that discretion is the better part of valor. Besides he who leaves a fight today, lives to fight another day! He leaps through the warp door, followed closely by the Witch King and the Balrog who has to stretch the doorway to squeeze through.
Brian: But see how my creations endure? Already it has snapped back into shape. As for Walt's creation . . . Well I guess most of the destruction is in Main Street USA. The rest of the park seems to be in pretty good shape still.
JK Rowling: Well You-Know-Who has decided no one is left in the miserable ice ball and heads back toward the warp door. Shortly before he gets there, there is another
**FLASH**

(So, Cyclops, The Witch King, The Balrog, and The Zorro-Windu-Wesley team are going through the warp doors [I'll let Carol decide where they appear]. Jessica and the Count are still in the Colosseum, and Voldemort [I'm not afraid of his name] is about 10 feet shy of the warp door in Hoth)

READ ON! CLICK HERE!