A Simple Act of Faith Chapter 5

The singer was very loud and sounded drunk, but his voice was pleasant and strong.  That was possibly the reason why only a handful of residents of an apartment complex across the street screamed out for the singer to shut up.  Despite that, the singer continued his song.

The boy said, "My name's Johnny, and it might be a sin. But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret, 'cause I'm the best that's ever been."

Darla laughed at the sound of Lindsey’s drunken voice.  Lindsey had drank several more shots then bought a bottle of whiskey.  They had left the bar, but Lindsey refused to tell Darla what he wanted to go.  He told her to follow her.  There was somewhere important that he needed to be and he would remember where when he got there.

“You humans are so funny,” Darla said and laughed.  She always was amused by silly yet attractive drunken men who acted like boys.  One of the reasons she had been so attracted to Liam.

Johnny, rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard, 'cause hell's broke
loose in Georgia and the devil deals the cards.

Lindsey laughed.  He stopped at the iron gates.  He immediately stopped singing.  He touched the bars.  Despite that it was a warm day, the bars felt freezing cold.  His demeanor immediately changed to depression.

“I haven’t been here in three months,” he explained.

Darla looked in.  In the darkness, she could see if was a cemetery.

“Is she buried here, Lindsey?” she said, with a hint of sadness in her voice, though Lindsey knew she was not sad.  This was all pretend, but he preferred it this way.

Lindsey nodded and looked beyond the gates.  He could only see the first row of headstones.

“Was she very beautiful?”

“More than that,” he explained.  “From the moment I met her— she entrusted every fiber of her being to me,” he said grabbing on to the gates and pulling on the chain that kept him out. It was locked with a padlock.  “To bad she was horribly wrong to trust me.  I didn’t deserve her.”

“Remember what I told you,” she said, touching his shoulder than rubbing his back.  “You can have her back.  You have to delivery to me what’s mine.”

“Would she remember dying?” he asked, pulling away from Darla’s touch.  She was as cold as the gate.
"Being in the ground?”

“We can work it so that she has no memory of her death.  She will only think of you.”

“And you can promise me that no harm will come to me and Cordelia once you get what you want?”

“Yes.”

“And what if I cannot drive Angel to you?  What then?”

“No deal.”

Lindsey smiled.  “And what if I drive Angel to you and he doesn’t lose his soul.”

Darla chuckled and touched Lindsey’s longish hair.  “You have hair like my Angelus--  Angelus and I had perfect love,” she explained.  “We were together for 150 years.  He loves me.  Even when he had a soul,” she explained.  ”He came back to me.  He just couldn’t kill the innocent.  I didn’t know then what would break the curse.  I know now for certain that if Angel comes to me, he’ll have his perfect happiness.”

“Even if I brought her back,” Lindsey explained who now had a strong desire to cut his hair.  “I don’t think I deserve her.”

Lindsey touched the chain that locked the cemetery.  Darla reached over and broke the chain.  Lindsey took another drink out of his bottle.

“Do you think she deserved to be here?” Darla explained.

Lindsey shook his head.  He turned back to Darla.  “You would have killed her if you needed too.”

“That’s true, but right now I just want my Angelus back.  Just because we don’t have souls, doesn’t mean we have no honor. I promise you, as a member of the house of Aurelius that if you help me get Angelus back, I will help you bring your wife back and then leave you alone.”

The two of them entered the cemetery.  It was dark and smelled like freshly grass and death.
Lindsey had only been here once, but he knew exactly where to go.

Darla followed quietly behind him.  The streetlights provided enough illumination for Lindsey to see.  Darla did not have that problem.

They had walked to an area for the recently deceased.  The site was getting filled.  A lot of people had died since her death.

He had never seen the stone.  It was small and dignified.  The streetlight allowed him to read it.

Cordelia Chase McDonald
1983-2001
Beloved Wife and Daughter
The Earth has Angels all too Few
And Heaven is overflowing.
 

He remembered Doyle asking him to sign several forms.  He did not even look at them.  For all he knew he could have been signing power of attorney over to him. He thought it strange he used the killer’s name in the epitaph.  He vaguely remembered Doyle telling him that he and Kate had picked out a sweet Irish prayer to put on her stone.

But looking at the stone here, he was suddenly angry.  Why was she in the ground while Angel roamed free?

He felt Darla’s hands around his waist.

“Does she deserve this?” she whispered into his ear.  “You deserve to be with her, Lindsey.  Angelus should be with me.  She died too young.  Far too young.  I’ve been around for over 400 years.  I can’t imagine being around only for 19.”

Lindsey took a very long drink from his bottle and turned around to Darla, then kissed her.  Anything to get rid of his numb feeling.

Darla pushed Lindsey to the ground, so they were both lying on Cordelia’s grave.  Darla was kissing him.  The earth was cold, so cold, freezing and she was cold—Cold and dead.  The cold overcame him and the world became blackness.
 

Faith came home about 5am.  Lilith was asleep.  She dusted very few vamps.  She went into her room and flopped on the bed.  She was tired.  Angel and her had talked for about two hours.

Angel was not a bad person.  If Wesley was still alive, Faith would have liked Angel, but now she did not know what to think.  She felt guilty if she forgave him especially since she knew that Lindsey never would.

She sighed again.  New York was becoming more appealing, but she also thought that maybe she was running away from the problem.

She was only 18 years old.  Buffy was surrounded by friends and family.  She had Riley, her mom and Dawn.  She had Xander, Willow and Giles.  She had everything Faith had every wanted.  A constant shoulder to lean on.

Faith wanted Lindsey’s shoulder to lean on.  The way she had in the past year.  Those feelings of jealousy for Buffy were beginning to resurface and she did not like it.  She did not want to be like that anymore.

Faith sighed again.  Her last thought before going to sleep was maybe New York was not so bad.  To feel the wind through her hair on the World Trade Center observation deck.
 

“Get up,” said a voice in the darkness.  Lindsey did not want to leave the cold.  He wanted to stay on her grave forever.  Maybe he could sink into it and they could be together for an eternity.

“I said get up,” said the voice with a lot more firmness.  It was not Darla.  Lindsey could tell without opening his eyes that it was morning.  Darla was long gone to her Wolfram and Hart paid apartment.

Lindsey opened his eyes.  His head ached and his eyes felt dry.  He felt his neck.  Darla had not touched him.  He had not expected her too.  She wanted something out of him.

“You fucking drunk,” another male voice said.

The two figures came into focus.  One was a police officer around Lindsey’s age, the other a middle-aged man wearing coveralls.

“Get up,” the officer ordered.

“Fucking riffraff,” the coverall man said.  “Have some fucking respect for the dead.”

Lindsey started laughing.  He did not know why what he said was so funny.  If he only knew how many dead people still walked around supposedly alive.

“Get on you feet,” the police officer said, who thought Lindsey was laughing at him, but still had less hostility than the coverall man. “Now!”

Lindsey took in a deep breath and used his forearms to push himself up.  As soon as he was up, the office nabbed him turned him around hard.  He pulled his handcuffs out and put them around Lindsey’s wrists.

Lindsey looked over the stone.  He looked at his feet.  The cold ground.  He would get her out of the cold ground.

“You have the right to remain silent,” the officer said.

“Cordelia,” he said, under his breath.  “I’ll bring you back, baby.”

“What?” the officer said and made a strange face.

“Nothing,” Lindsey said.  “I’m remaining silent.”

“You think it’s funny passing out on the grave on a poor girl who died when she was only 19.” The coverall man said.  “You fucking asshole.”
 

Twenty minutes later, the cop brought him into a precient that Lindsey knew well.  It was same preceint that Kate worked at.

The cop sat him down hard on the seat in front of a brown haired male detective who smelled like coffee and old tobacco.  The cop took the handcuffs off.  Lindsey rubbed his wrists to get the feeling back.

“What do you have here?” he asked.

“Disorderly conduct, publicly intoxicated, and breaking and entering into—get this a cemetery.”

“A bar wasn’t good enough for you,” the detective asked.  “I’m just about to go off my shift and I have to deal with this crap.”

Lindsey did not respond.  Instead he looked down.

“Knock over any tombstones while you were there?  That’s what drunks usually do.  There’s also been some unsolved murders in the area.”

Lindsey did not reply.  He wished he had that bottle of whiskey he brought yesterday.

“I’ll handle this,” said a husky female voice from behind.

“You truly are a goddess, detective Lockely.”

Lindsey did not even turn around to face Kate.  The numbness was completely in control.

“What’s the charges?” Kate asked.

“He broke into a cemetery,” the office explained.  “There was an empty bottle of whiskey next to him.  He passed out on some poor girl’s grave.”

Kate sighed. “Was this girl a poor nineteen year old?  Did her epitaph read ‘the Earth has Angels all too few And Heaven is overflowing’?  Is that the grave you found him lying on?”

The officer looked at her oddly.  “Yes.”

“That’s Cordelia McDonald,” Kate explained.  “It’s his wife.  She was brutally murdered three months ago.  The killers have never been apprehended.”

“Oh,” both the detective and the officer said together.

Kate touched Lindsey’s shoulder.  “I’m sure if Mr. McDonald apologizes to the caretaker and promises to only visit the cemetery when it’s open, I’m sure the charges can be dropped.”

The detective and the officer just nodded.

“Now can you give me and Lindsey a moment?”

The two of them again nodded.  The detective got up and both of them headed out.

Kate retook the detective’s seat.  “Hey,” she said and touched his hand.

“Hey,” he replied.

“This is no way to deal with stress,” she said and chuckled.  “By getting yourself arrested again.”

“I was drinking,” Lindsey explained.  He had to think of something good for Kate to believe.  “I drank too much.  I’m sorry I didn’t want to cause you trouble.”

“Where was Faith in all of this?” Kate asked.

“She was patrolling,” he explained, deadpan.  “I did this all on my own.”

“I know what you are going through.  I will never apprehend the men that killed my father and even if I did, I could never have my justice with them in the real world.”

“I miss the real world,” Lindsey replied.  “I missed the time when vampires and demons were all myths.”

Kate nodded.  “Sometimes I wished I never met Faith.”

Lindsey did not respond.

“But you can’t dwell on things, Lindsey,” Kate explained.  “I haven’t.  I know I’ll never find the things that killed my father.”

“You don’t have to deal with him, though,” Lindsey said, emphasizing him.  “He seems to be everywhere I go.”

“No,” she admitted.  “I haven’t met him yet.  But it’s only a matter of time.  LA may seem big, but in reality, everyone really does know everyone else.”

“He may have a soul,” Lindsey replied.  “But that does make him any less a demon.  That’s what vampires are.  They are demons in control of a dead human body.”

Kate nodded. “I think it’s best that we avoid him.  Let him do what he has to do.”

“I agree.”

“You promise me you will visit the cemetery during visiting hours?” Kate said then smiled to keep the tension down.

Lindsey nodded.  He was glad she was buying it.  He was to tired to think of anything else.

“Go, now go home, you look like a wreck.”
 

She entered Alex’s office.  It was pitch black.

“Lindsey!” Faith screamed out, but silence only greeted her.  “Lindsey!” she screamed again.  She turned on the light.

Lindsey was sitting by Cordelia’s desk.  He was staring at her picture.  His face was blank, emotionless.
Behind him was Angel.  There was a stake in his heart.  He looked at it dumbfounded, but did not turn to dust.

“Lindsey,” Faith said, sternly.  “Did you do that?”

“I had too,” he explained.  There was coldness in his voice.  “He has to die.”

“But the prophecies.”

“Prophecies, smrophecies.  I don’t care.  All I care about is that he has to die.  I don’t care about you, about the fate of the world, about anything.  I just care that he dies.”

“Lindsey,” she said and when she tried to touch him, instead he grabbed her.  Despite that she was stronger, he was able to get a good grip.

“I’m poison,” Lindsey said.  “You better watch out for me.  You better watch out. You don’t know how far I can go.”
 

Faith woke up with a start.  She looked at her clock, it was 9am.  In about an hour, Lilith would come strolling here to wake her up for training.

Faith started crying.  She knew exactly what the dream meant.  Lindsey was getting farther away from her everyday.  He was going deeper into his need for vengeance and his guilt.  It was destroying him inside, but soon he might reach a point when nothing else matters to him.

“Faith!” said a voice from the doorway.  Lilith came running in.  She was already dressed.
Lilith sat on the bed, unsure what to do about Faith’s tears.

“I love him,” she explained, between the tears.  “I love him and everyday I’m losing him more and more.”
Lilith did not move for a long period of time. Instead she said.  “Perhaps it is time for you to move on.”
 

Alex was already there when Lindsey entered the office.  He had forgotten she had a case to work on and planned to come in on Sunday.

“Lindsey?” she said, coming out of her office.  Lindsey cursed Alex’s office with a view of everyone coming in.

“Hey,” he said.

“You just coming in?” she asked looking him over.  He was all disheveled and dirty.  His eyes were bloodshot.

Lindsey nodded.  “I had a long night.”

Alex smiled in hope.  “With Faith, I take it.”

“No,” he said.  “She had to patrol.  I just want out to drink.  I’m afraid I had to much.”  He tried to remember the same story he fed Kate.  At least it was mostly true.

“So I see,” Alex commented.  “You better go take a shower before Faith shows up and gets pissed off.”
Lindsey nodded, but he didn’t care if Faith saw him like this.  He headed to the upstairs apartment.

Alex sighed when he disappeared through the door.  She wondered if he had been out with another woman.  Part of her hoped that was it and it was not something much worse.
 

Chapter 6

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