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December (c. 25th), 2005
The final battle between good cholesterol and evil cholesterol
yesterday, new revolutionary studies have shown that bad cholesterol can have a significant impact on health. Today, new revolutionary studies have shown that it is not true. What will once more new, and yet again revolutionary studies show tomorrow?
We just don't know anymore, one out of ten doctors says. The other nine make significantly more money. Going back to the one abovementioned doctor, he recommended to forget about losing bad cholesterol and gaining the good stuff. Just consume the same amounts of both and see what happens, said Doctor Arterclog, implying that Americans should let the two cholesterols resolve the conflict between themselves on their own.
The heated debate between Doctors and Medical Practitioners alike began after in a recent study, scientists determined that when it comes to cholesterol, good isn't all that good, and bad isn't all that bad. Instead, the two might cooperate at times. For instance, it has been shown that the bad cholesterols might use the good cholesterols as doormats. The good cholesterols may lose their temper and become bad. Towards the end of their life cycles, the bad cholesterols might have a chemical "change of heart" or "reawakening" as some scientists have nicknamed this phenomenon, and become good. These in turn will be used as doormats for the still-bad cholesterol.
Whether this is a final conclusion or not, one thing remains certain: by the time you read this, a new study might prove all this to be false.
Mad Copy Props 2005 etkiNews. All rights grabbed. This stuff may not be published broadcast, rewritten, redistributed, redealt, rethrown, reprocessed, reiterated, and/or repeated in any way possible.
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