Lair No. 1 met on February 22, 2003, in the upper room of Max's Allegheny Taavern, for an evening of Rascal Declamations and/or Disquisitions by the members and guests present.
Lee Wolfson brought forth a book entitled Rare Words and regaled us with some of same. Those who attended now know the hidden truth behind fustian, amygdalae, bilbo, cervisial, philtrum, palinoia, jugal, chautauqua, and last, but most importantly, frottage.
He then whipped out another book entitled Error’s Chains: How Forged and Broken, by one Frank Dobbins of Yokohama, Japan. Lee read us one or two interesting things from this book on pagan practices, which were then re-enacted by the group.
Woody Cunningham gave us a reading from RUDE TALES AND GLORIOUS BEING: THE ONLY TRUE ACCOUNT OF DIVERSE FEATS OF BRAWN AND BAWD PERFORMED BY KING ARTHUR AND HIS KNIGHTS by the pseudonymous Nicholas Seare, who is also the pseudonymous Trevanian, who is who knows who but rumored to be Rod Whitaker. He read us a tale of a Great Blast, and revealed thereby how Ireland got to be the way it is.
Charles George took up a book entitled On the Missionary Trail, which tells of two men who spent 1821-29 searching the world for missions established by the London Missionary Society, and then lost track of. In many cases, it seems, that had been the best policy. Charles particularly drew our attention to the Southern India mission work of William Ringeltaube, whose one luxury was a nightly cigar.
David McFadden showed us his protest shirt, which saith DON’T CUT BABY BOYS, and alerted us to the existence of the groups NORM: National Organization for Restoring Men, and NOHARM: National Organization to Halt the Abuse and Routine Mutilation of Males. The group felt that these were names we could stand behind. He then told the uncircumcised what they were missing, and why their lives would hardly be worth living. Which was an interesting thing, if a little sad and morbid.
Ron DiOrio regaled us with tales of Afghanistan related to McFadden’s discussion, and also some points brought up by Lee Wolfson. Ron then shared with us his strategy for dealing with unemployment, but if the Secretary were to record the elements of the plan, the Secretary would have to be eliminated. We shall, therefore, move on to the next presentation.
Mark Miller related his life to a story in the movie Smoke, and then told of being part of a hold-up (taking the role of victim, in this instance) at the Sir Loin Restaurant. It seems that he experienced it as the real thing, and a terrifying experience, but another member of the hold-upees was convinced that the whole thing was set-up, not a hold-up, staged to make an insurance claim. The restaurant closed soon thereafter. A Rashomon experience.
Tim Esaias noted his recent, and rather odd, acquisition of a Japanese TV writing credit. He also related his recent discovery that the problem of aiming battleship main guns was mathematically insoluble, and that any mathematician could have shown that before the very first one was built. Any number of books discuss the “difficulty” of the problem, but none of them states this simple fact. If only the money that could have been saved were in the Rascals’ bank account…
Among those present at this meeting were: