Wow," Willow whispered, staring at the package in her hands.
"It�s just a new browser Will, it's nothing to get excited about," Buffy said, laughing at the look of wonder on her friend�s face.
"Just a new browser? Buffy, this is AOL!"
"I�ve never heard of them."
"Well, neither had I, but they must be good. Look here, it says "Connecting millions of people worldwide," so it�s pretty darn popular!"
"Ok, ok. Just make sure you install it quick, �cause God knows we need to research that demon soon."
**********
Buffy had been watching Willow install this thing for the last hour, and now it was time for her give it a whirl. As Willow had had to go out, Buffy was left surfing with, of all people, Spike.
"I don�t know why you�re so fussed, luv. I�m as good a company as that friend of yours."
"Whatever, Spike. Lets just do this quickly so you can go home."
Carefully, Buffy double-clicked on the little triangular symbol that said "AOL", and logged on. She then selected the search bar, and typed in "Mohra demon".
"Mohra demon? Is that the thing that attacked you last night?" Spike asked.
"Yeah. Strong little thing it was too."
Buffy smiled as the search engine displayed the results.
"1492 matches! I know Willow said that you can find anything on the net, but are there really that many people who know enough about demons to make websites on them?"
Spike shrugged. "Must be," he muttered. "Click the first one. The BATA, it says it�s called. BATA? What sort of name is that?!"
"Must be short for something. Guess we�re about to find out," she said, as she clicked on the blue link.
The screen changed into the dark blue background of the BATA website, and Buffy registered the title at the top of the screen.
"Buffy and Angel: Together Always?" she said, confused. "It doesn�t mean like�"
"You and the poof? Guess so, considering the picture."
Buffy looked at the picture at the side of the screen. It was of her. Her sitting with Angel in the park. Buffy remembered that day. It was just after Willow had been held hostage by the Mayor, and just before Angel had told her he was leaving. She smiled sadly at the memory, then jolted back to reality as she wondered how the hell that picture had gotten there.
"Look at the content list," she said suddenly. "Fanfiction, episode guide, actor profiles� what�s this all about?"
"Well, you won�t know 'til you click on it," Spike commented, pointing at the first link on the list. "Try this one - fanfiction."
Buffy carefully clicked it, and watched as the screen changed to a list of�. titles? Frowning slightly, she chose one called "Hands off my Slayer!" and then scanned through the page that followed. About half-way through she let out a cry of disgust.
"Ugh! Eew, eeew!"
"What?"
"This page� it has stuff written on it about me� me KISSING Giles!"
"What?! Really? Lemme read!!!"
"NO!!!" Buffy screamed, frantically pressing the back button until she ended up back on the main page. After a moment she said, "Now that was gross. Why is there even a website about me in the first place?" She sighed, the said, "Which one of these links do you think�ll tell me about the Mohra demon? I mean, the search engine said this had info on it, so�"
"What about the Episode Guides. Dunno what it�s about, but it might help."
Buffy clicked on the link, and was amazed to find that it led to a list of seasons.
"Why is there a list of seasons here? Isn�t that like what you have in tv shows?"
"Yeah, which reminds me, I�m missing Passions to do this with you, so hurry up and choose something!"
She randomly clicked one, and found it to be Season 4. After briefly scanning the page, she found a link with the word Mohra in its description.
"I�ve found it!" she said excitedly. "It says here "Buffy goes to visit Angel in LA. She�s about to leave, when suddenly they are attacked by a Mohra demon, and everything changes�". Oh course! How could I have been so stupid! That day a couple of years ago when I went to LA - Angel was attacked by a Mohra demon. I guess that means I�ll have to go see him, ask him what he knows about them. But how did this site know about it? And what does it mean 'And everything changes�'? Nothing changed. What the hell is going on?"
Angrily, she clicked on the link, and found it led to a page that went on, in detail, about her life. Then she noticed something was wrong.
"What, what�s it going on about?" she asked, breathlessly. "What does it mean, Angel turned human? That� what?"
"Dunno, luv. Betcha he does though."
"Yeah," Buffy said, angrily, "well, I wanna know too."
With that, she stormed out of the house, intent on finding out just what was going on.
Buffy stared blankly out of the window, watching the trees fly by. A part of her wondered what she was doing. Why was she going to see him? That never ended well. She was just going to cause herself more pain and heartache, and she just couldn�t deal with that right now, not with everything else that was going on. Yet, she was still sitting there, in this dingy bus, on her way to LA.
She didn�t really understand what she was going to say to him anyway. She knew she needed to ask him about the Mohra demons. If he had had a run in with them before, he might be able to tell her something useful, and the resources Giles had left them had told them squat. She did need to talk to him about that. But what about what she had seen, on that website? She couldn�t understand why there was a website about her, in the first place. It didn�t make sense. She�d think she was going crazy if Spike hadn�t seen it as well. Why did it go on about Angel being human? She knew people always said "Don�t believe everything you read on the internet," but it still unnerved her.
She felt the bus slow down, and realised it was stopping. She stared out of the window once more, looking at the drab walls of the bus station.
*It�s now or never,* she thought. Shakily, she got to her feet, and stepped off the bus.
**********
Buffy slowly walked down the steps of the hotel. She had never been here before, and she had to admit, Angel sure had a good place.
Purposefully, she strode up to the front desk and rang the bell. After a moment, a familiar brown head appeared from the doorway and said, in an overly cheery voice, "Angel Investigations, we help the help� Oh, hey Buffy. Do you wanna talk to Angel?"
"Yeah. Is he around?"
"No. He went out to fight some snot demon or something. Do you wanna leave him a message?"
"No, I�ll just wait, if that�s alright."
"Sure, just don�t make too much noise. That demon left me the mother of all headaches. You know, if I ever meet those Powers That Be, I�m gonna give them a hard kick up the ass for those visions they put me through."
Buffy smiled, and turned to sit down. Then she stopped, and turned back, as though a struck by a sudden thought.
"Cordy, do you have a computer?"
**********
Buffy really didn�t know why she was doing this. She knew she had seen that website, she knew it, but she just wanted to make sure. What if she confronted Angel, and it was nothing? He�d tell her it was just a dream, that she shouldn�t worry about it. She didn�t want him to think she was being stupid. She had to be sure.
She carefully typed the word Mohra into the search bar, and clicked search. After a moment, the screen displayed various different websites, but something wasn�t right. To start with, there were only 21 matches, but when she�d searched before, there had been hundreds of them. And when she scanned the list of links, the BATA didn�t appear anywhere. There were only links to demon databases, and that sort of thing. The sort of thing you�d expect to see. There was nothing like she�d seen before.
Frustrated, she logged off. She was so sure she�d seen it, but she couldn�t have. If she had, why wouldn�t it be there now? She must have dreamed it. Though it was kinda weird for a dream. Why would she dream about researching? She did enough of that in real life, she didn�t need to dream about it as well. And WHY would she dream about researching with Spike, of all people? It wasn�t as if he hadn�t been plaguing her dreams enough of late. NOT that she was going to think about that. Thinking about those thoughts made them real, and them being real was disgusting. Now was the time to think about what she was to do when Angel arrived, not the time to think about him.
From what seemed like a world away, she heard Cordy say, "Hi Angel. You�ll never guess who�s here!"
*It�s now or never,* Buffy thought. Bracing herself she got out of the chair, and strode into the hallway.
"Buffy," Angel said. He looked very shocked.
"Hello to you too."
"Sorry, I was just a little surprised to see you."
"That�s alright."
There was a long silence, with Angel looking at Buffy expectantly, and Buffy looking at her shoes.
After a very pregnant pause, Angel said, "Is there something you want to talk to me about?"
"Oh, um, yeah. Yes. Um, a few nights ago I was out patrolling when I was attacked by a Mohra demon."
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah, but we�ve been researched this thing for days, and we�ve found nothing about it. I thought maybe you might know something." Buffy looked up at Angel hopefully.
"Yeah, I have some books. I can go get them for you if you�d like."
"Yes, please."
"I�ll just be a minute."
As Angel disappeared into the office, Buffy wondered if she should ask him. If she didn�t ask him, she�d be wondering about it forever. But if she did ask him, she could end up looking really stupid. And he obviously wasn�t human now. She was just being stupid, making something out of nothing.
Angel came sweeping back into the room, and handed Buffy a few very thick, very old looking books.
"It�s all in there," he said.
"Okay, thanks." Buffy smiled, but didn�t move.
"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"
"What?" She couldn�t ask him. She just couldn�t. "Oh, no. There�s nothing."
"It�s just, you could of asked me about those demons on the phone. I just thought maybe there was another reason you came down here."
"Oh, there is!" She couldn�t. She couldn�t. "I wanted to� um, wanted to see� my dad! I haven�t seen him in a long time and I thought maybe I could stop by and see him!"
"Doesn�t your dad live in Spain now?"
"Oh! Yeah, yeah he� he does, but I completely forgot 'til I was already half way down here, so I thought, what the heck!"
Angel gave her a penetrating look, and then said, "Well, if you�re sure that�s everything�"
"Yeah, yeah it is." Buffy gave him a half-hearted smile before saying, "Well, I�d better go. Don�t want to get home too late, I gotta get back for Dawn."
"Maybe I�ll see you soon?"
"Yeah. Maybe."
"Here it is!" Willow grinned as she looked up from the book she was reading, triumph on her face. The gang were in the Magic Box, scanning through the books Angel had given them. They had been looking since Buffy had got back, but the books hadn�t been as helpful as Angel had said they would be.
"Oh, thank God!" Xander shut his book with a bang. "I know Angel was trying to help, but couldn�t he have given us a page number or something?"
Buffy wandered over to the table where the others sat. "So, Will, what does it say?"
"One of the more deadly of the assassin demons is the Mohra demon. The Mohra demon hunts down the warriors of the Powers that Be, intent on lessening their number for The End of Days. They need vast quantities of salt to live, yet are extremely hard to kill, as their blood has regenerative powers, and any serious wounds will only make them stronger. It keeps regenerating its life until the dark future it envisions for the world is upon us. The only way to slay the beast is to bring darkness to the thousand eyes." Willow looked up from the book. "What does that mean?"
"Not a clue." Buffy�s face was creased in confusion. "What about this End of Days thingy? What does it say about that?"
"Nothing. Just that that�s what this demon�s waiting for."
"Well, if this demon�s waiting for it, it must be important, right? Surely it says something about it. I mean, Angel said it was all in there, so�"
"Well, I�ll look, but it might take a while. It�s a pretty thick book."
"Oh, okay. Thanks, Will." Buffy smiled at her friend, then stood up and wandered back over to the training room.
"Hey, wait a minute Buffy! I thought you and Spike looked for stuff about that demon on the internet last night?"
"Yeah," Buffy said. "Yeah, we did."
"Well, did you find anything? Maybe there�s something about the End of Days on there."
"The thing is, I did find something, but� it wasn�t what I thought I�d find."
"What was it, Buff?" Xander looked worriedly over at his friend. "Was it something bad?"
"No! No, it was just weird." She walked back over to the table, and sank back down into the chair. "I went onto this website, and it had� it was about us. It had pictures of us, of me and Angel, and it had stories written about us, and like� descriptions of stuff that had happened to us. It was really weird."
"It must have been one of those TV dimension thingies."
Everyone looked over at Anya. "What?"
"Well, you know, everything on TV is real, but in another dimension. It�s like the TV is a window into these dimensions, and people watch them as cheap entertainment."
"What, so *everything* on TV is real?" Xander stared at his girlfriend, disbelief on his face. "Even the cartoons?"
"Yes, but in a different dimension. Like The Rugrats is in the world of perpetual youth, and The Simpsons is in this dimension where everyone�s yellow. And Popstars is in that world where no-one can sing."
"But that doesn�t make sense," Willow said, obviously confused. "A lot of shows take place in places here. In this dimension."
"Well, a lot of them come from the world without shrimp. Haven�t you ever wondered why no-one EVER eats shrimp on TV? Either that or they�re from this really weird dimension that�s exactly like ours, except there�s no demons or magic or anything."
"Woah, wouldn�t we all love to live there!" Buffy muttered under her breath, before saying, "So, some people in some dimension watch us? As entertainment?"
"What?!" Xander looked about in a panic. "So there are people watching us RIGHT NOW!"
"Don�t be silly, Xander. They don�t watch us twenty four - seven. That would get boring, and ratings would drop. It�s like a crystal ball. They see what�s going to happen to us in the future. If anyone was watching this, it would�ve been last year, or even earlier."
"So a bunch of strangers know what�s going to happen to me months before I do?"
"Well, yeah."
*So that explains it,* Buffy thought. *Maybe that thing with Angel hasn�t happened yet. Maybe he�s going to be human in a year or two, and it was only there because they�re ahead of us. It�s a good thing I didn�t mention it, then.*
"But this still doesn�t explain why I found a website about this, this� TV show on Will�s computer." Buffy looked round at the group, trying to take it all in. "And another thing� when I looked it up on Cordy�s computer, I couldn�t find it. It wasn�t there."
"Well, the browser you used was new," Willow said, thoughtfully, "and it said on the box it was really popular, 'Used by millions of people world-wide', but I�d never heard of it before. Maybe� maybe it�s a browser from whatever dimension watches us on TV, and it connects to their internet. That�s why you found all these sites you couldn�t find on a different machine."
"Yeah, that�s probably it."
"Do you think I should take it back?" Willow asked, concerned.
"No! I think maybe it�ll be fun to see just what people think of our lives, you know?"
"You shouldn�t mess with that," Anya said, in a serious tone Buffy had never heard her use before. "It�s dangerous. If you start messing with other dimensions, God knows what could happen."
"I�m not gonna mess," Buffy said. "I�m just gonna� look."
**********
Buffy sat down at the computer, with Spike, once again, at her side. Willow was busy researching, and she had a feeling that the others would try to stop her from doing this. Not that there was any reason for them to stop her anyway. It wasn�t as if she was going to change anything, she was just going to have a look.
"So, what are we looking for today, luv?" Spike asked, as she logged in.
"More stuff like we found yesterday. I want to know all about this, this TV show thing." She had already explained to him all that had been said at the Magic Box. She carefully clicked in the search bar, and then asked, "What should I search for?"
"Well, if you think this show is about us, why don�t you try your name?"
"Okay." Buffy quickly typed in 'Buffy Summers' and clicked search. A few seconds later a list of sites appeared, and Buffy was overwhelmed by just how many there were.
"123,293 matches?" she asked, incredulously.
"Guess you�re pretty well known in this dimension, pet."
"Guess I am," she said to herself, before scanning the list. "How about this one - The Buffy Summers Fan Club."
She clicked on the link, and was taken to a screen with a huge picture of her in the centre, surrounded by yet more links.
"What do you think we should go on?" Buffy asked, as she moved the mouse distractedly round the screen. "Message Boards? Episode Guides? Quizzes?"
"How about a quiz, luv? If it�s about your life, you should be able to get at least a few right."
Buffy clicked on the link that said quizzes, and then studied the choices she was given.
"Okay then, we can have a quiz about any one of the 6 seasons, or one about one of us. I�ll try� one about me. That should be nice and easy, right?"
As the first question appeared in front of her, Buffy gave a smug little grin. "Well, this is hard! 'What is the name of Buffy�s stuffed pig? A) Mr Gordy B) Mr Gordo C) Mr Pinky or D) Pork Chops.'" She clicked on B, and laughed in triumph as she got it right. Then her grin faded as she saw the next question. ""When Buffy first met Cordelia, what was the lesson they were in about?" How the hell is ANYONE supposed to know that?!"
**********
"Wrong again, Slayer" Spike said with a grin as Buffy got her tenth and final question wrong.
Buffy stared at her score angrily. "3 out of 10 - a fair weather fan?! How could I have only got 3 OUT OF 10?! The quiz was about ME!"
"Guess you don�t know yourself as well as you thought, luv."
"Shut up, Spike." Buffy clicked back onto the main page. "That wasn�t fair. It was impossible. No-one could have got a high score with questions that hard."
"So, where to next?"
"How about this one?" Buffy moved the mouse to hover over a link labelled OMWF. "What do you think that means?"
"Dunno, luv. Why don�t you look?"
Buffy clicked it, and then studied her new options. She could choose to view The Plot, The Script, The Lyrics, or Media Files.
"Which one?"
"Well, how about the plot? Might be able to see what it�s about."
Buffy clicked on the link, and then read aloud what she saw. "While the Scoobies go about their daily lives, a new demon is in town which makes everyone start singing and dancing. As people start letting out their true feelings, Dawn is kidnapped by the demon, who plans to take her to hell and make her his bride." Buffy looked excitedly at Spike. "This is what happened last week! This is an episode about all the singing and dancing and stuff that happened last week! Oh my God, I sang on TV! Do you think I sounded okay?"
"Well, maybe there�s some clips or something. Then you could hear for yourself."
"Yeah." Buffy searched around the site until she found some. "Here. A mixture of clips from some of the best songs. Lets listen to this." She downloaded the file, adjusted the speakers, and then pressed play.
She flinched as her voice came booming out of the speakers, singing about slaying.
"Oh my God, I sound awful! How could they play that on TV? I probably broke all the windows of the people who were watching!"
"You don�t sound awful."
"Yes I do! It�s screechy and tuneless and awful!"
"Buffy," Spike said, taking her hands in his. "It's beautiful."
"Really?" Buffy asked, trying to ignore the shivers that were flying up and down her arm.
"Really," Spike said. He sounded so serious Buffy didn�t want to argue. She smiled weakly at him, and reached to turn off the music.
"So, what are we going to do now, luv?" Spike asked.
Buffy clicked the back button until she got back to the main page, then scanned the links again. "Ooh, buy the box sets!"
"Buffy�" Spike said, warningly. Buffy ignored him and clicked the link.
"Look, they�re only $20 each, and seasons 5 and 6 are buy one get one free!"
"Buffy�"
"There are two to a season, so that�ll only cost me $40 for both."
"Buffy!"
"What?"
"You can�t buy them!"
"Why not?"
"Well, it�s another dimension for one thing. How are they going to get here?"
"Well, this browser got here, didn�t it? So maybe these�ll get here as well." Buffy noticed Spike exasperated expression, and added, "I really want to know what happens in them."
"Buffy," Spike said slowly, as though talking to a very small child, "this is about your life. I think you already know what happens."
"Yeah, but I want to see how people in this other dimension see us." And with that, Buffy filled out the order form, and sent it off.
"There! Now we�ll be able to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer in the privacy of our own home in 3 to 5 working days, providing cross dimension delivery doesn�t take longer. Do you think the postage will be more, cos of the whole different dimension thing?"
Spike just stared at her.
"Look, I�m just curious. I know what Anya said about messing with stuff like this, but I�m not going to do anything. I�m just going to watch a few episodes of my life, all of which have happened to me, so it�s not like I�m going to see what�s going to happen in the future or anything."
"Fine."
"And don�t tell anyone about this! If they find out I�m gonna watch some of this show, they�ll have a freak out or something, so DON�T tell them!"
"Okay, Slayer. My lips are sealed."
"Good. Well, I�d better go. I�ve gotta patrol, look for that Mohra demon."
"Do you want me to come with?"
"Yeah, that�d be nice."
Buffy quickly logged off the computer, grabbed her coat, and headed off into the night, Spike at her heel. She couldn�t wait until the videos came. Then the fun would begin.
Buffy was collapsed on the couch, watching TV. It had been 6 days since she had ordered the videos, and they still hadn�t come. She was starting to think that Spike had been right, and that it was impossible for you to order things from another dimension over the internet..
She heard the phone ring, and, with a lot of effort, dragged herself off the sofa, and across the room to answer it.
"Hello?"
Buffy heard Willow�s cheery voice coming from the other end. "Hi Buffy. It�s me."
"Hi Willow. Have you found anything about this End of Days thing yet?"
"A little. It says here that the End of Days is started by a "Sacred Death." I�m not really sure what that means, though. The book isn�t very clear. Do you have any clue what it could be?"
"Um, I don�t know. A ritual of some sort, I guess."
"Yeah, that makes sense�"
Buffy heard knocking coming from the hallway.
"Hold on a minute, Will. There�s someone at the door."
Buffy placed the phone carefully down on the table, and went to answer it. Outside stood a delivery boy holding a large package.
"Delivery for a Miss Buffy Summers."
Buffy signed for the package, and shut the door. When she got inside, she ripped open the brown parcel to find inside four brightly coloured boxes with pictures of her on the front. She picked out the first one, and studied it carefully. It said on the front "Season Five, Episodes 1 - 11." She turned it over to find three videos tucked inside.
Grinning, she raced back to the phone and said, "Will, I have to go."
"Why? What�s wrong?"
"Nothing. I just gotta go patrol, is all. I mean, who says that that Mohra demon lurks at night? Maybe it�s out there right now, terrorising somebody. I mean, I haven�t found anything so far, so�"
"Yeah, okay. Just be careful."
"I will. Bye."
"Bye."
Buffy hung up the phone, waited a few seconds, and then picked up the receiver once more. She dialled a number, then waited impatiently for the other person to pick up.
"Hello? Spike?"
**********
Buffy and Spike were sat on the sofa, watching themselves on the screen, sitting on the sofa.
<"Can you believe it? Count Famous has heard of me.">
"Okay," Buffy said. "This is beyond creepy."
"I gotta admit, luv, this is kind of strange."
"It�s so cool though. I mean, those people who watched this got to see things that I never got to see, even though I was here, living it. And now I get to see it too."
Buffy settled back into the sofa, making sure she was settled as far away from Spike as possible. She kept telling herself the only reason she had asked Spike to come watch these with her was because the others wouldn�t have understood. But a part of her kept wondering if she would have still asked him first, even if the others had wanted to come.
She smiled as another scene she didn�t recognise came on. She was really enjoying this. She was getting to see all the little things that happened to her friends that they didn�t tell her about. Willow was doing some work for Giles, just like she always used to. Buffy longed for that time, the time where everything was happy, and Giles didn�t have a single thought about returning to England.
<"I�m going back to England">
"What?" Buffy stared at the screen in disbelief. As the scene unfolded in front of her eyes, Buffy was speechless. He had been thinking about it, even then. He�d been planning it, and he didn�t mention it. Not a word.
"What�s wrong Slayer?" Spike looked at Buffy, concerned.
"It�s just� Giles left me, and he left me when I needed him the most. And I thought it was just a sudden thing, you know. Like, 'Hey, I�m bored of America! I think I�ll just go home now!' But it wasn�t. He�d been planning it since over a year ago. I just can�t believe it."
Spike just looked at her. He really wanted to help, but he didn�t really know what to do. Or what to say. Buffy smiled slightly. It felt so strange that her once sworn enemy was upset because she was upset. What was stranger was that she didn�t want him feeling that way.
She put on a brave smile and said, "Maybe seeing what my friends get up to when I�m not around isn�t so fun after all."
*******
Buffy watched the rest of the episode in silence. As she watched, she had a strange feeling in the back of her mind. She wanted to say that everything was exactly as she remembered it� except it wasn�t. Something she remembered so clearly, just wasn�t there. Where was Dawn? She knew she hadn�t really been there before about a year ago, but she didn�t really believe it. Not until she saw it there in front of her eyes.
"You�re very quiet, luv. Anything bothering you?"
"No." Buffy paused for a moment. "Yes. It�s just� Dawn was here. I remember it. I remember her seeing my bite from Dracula at breakfast, and me having to bribe her to keep her quiet. I remember her hanging with us at the beach because Mom had to go out, and she wouldn�t let me leave her in the house alone. I remember so much, but it isn�t here. It wasn�t real."
"It was real to you."
Buffy smiled up at Spike. It was strange how even a soulless evil thing like Spike could say something sweet sometimes. Now she thought about it, he said sweet things to her a lot of the time, she had just never acknowledged them before now. Maybe it was time she did.
*******
Buffy was having a great time. Once she had got used to seeing herself on her TV screen, this had turned out to be a really fun evening. She could see why this show was so popular. She didn�t think anyone could resist laughing at Harmony, prancing around like she was the next Big Bad. She kinda felt bad though. She had really been treating Dawn badly back then.
She turned her attention back to the screen, and watched Riley and Xander talking.
<"Buffy�s like nobody else in the world.">
Buffy couldn�t help but grin at the jealous glint in Spike�s eye when he said that, but she tried to ignore it. Instead she concentrated on the wonderful things Riley was saying about her. If that didn�t make her feel good, nothing would.
<"But she doesn�t love me.">
For the second time that evening, Buffy stared at the screen in disbelief. What did he mean, she didn�t love him?! Of course she loved him. Not like she loved Angel, she realised that now, but still, she loved him more than anything else at the time, and he didn�t even believe it. And then she came back in the room and he hugged her, like everything was just perfectly fine? And Xander! Couldn�t he have mentioned something to her? At least given her a hint about what was going on? Didn�t he at least owe her that much?
"You alright Buffy?"
"Yeah, I�m fine."
Spike looked away, then looked back and said, "Soldier Boy didn�t deserve you, you know."
"I don�t know. Maybe I was the one who didn�t deserve him."
"You don�t believe that, do you?"
Buffy just looked at him.
"Cos, of course, you�re the one who didn�t deserve him. I mean, he was the perfect boyfriend, what with the secret government agency that experimented on demons, and the not telling you something was wrong, and the paying vampires to bite him, and the leaving without giving you so much as a chance to fix things. Yeah, you�re right. You�re the one who was at fault."
Buffy stopped worrying so much then. Spike was right, for once. She never thought she�d actually ever think that, but it was true. It wasn�t her fault that she and Riley had broken up.
She suddenly realised how close she had got to Spike over the last couple of hours. To start with, they had both been perched on either end of the couch. Now, there were mere inches between them. Buffy decided that it wouldn�t matter too much if they got a little bit closer. She wriggled slightly towards him, and rested her head on his shoulder. He stiffened, as though he expected her to punch him any second, then relaxed and put his arm around her. Buffy surprised even herself when she let it stay there.
*******
<"Hanging out all day, in that mouldy old crypt. You just know he�s doing something evil.">
*This is it,* Buffy thought with a grin. *I�m going to find out just what Spike gets up to when he�s alone.*
<"Is it bigger than a bread box?">
Buffy burst out laughing.
"Oh my God! You played 20 Questions with Harmony?!"
"Yeah. So?"
"It�s just YOU. Played 20 QUESTIONS. With HARMONY! Is there any part of that sentence that isn�t funny?"
"Well, I was bored! It wasn�t like I could go out or anything, and it was rerun season."
"So, you, what? Decided you would play the evil and torturous game that is 20 Questions?!"
"Hey, don�t laugh. I could beat you at a game any day."
"Wanna bet?"
"Yeah. Actually I do."
"Well, you�re not getting one. I�m not sad enough to play 20 Questions."
"Take that back!"
"Make me!"
Spike leapt towards Buffy. Buffy was ready to see him throw his head back with chip-induced pain when� he started to tickle her.
"No! Spike, stop! NO! NO!" Buffy shook with laughter, as she fell off the couch and onto the floor.
"Not until you take it back."
"No!"
"Then I�m not stopping!"
"Stop it! This isn�t fair!"
"Didn�t know you were so ticklish, luv."
"Please! No! No! Plea-ease!"
"Was that begging I just heard? I�ll stop, when you take it back!"
"Never!"
Buffy suddenly heard feet stomping down the stairs. She pushed Spike away and quickly clambered back onto the couch, just as Dawn stepped into the living room.
"What are you guys doing?"
"Nothing," Buffy said quickly. A little too quickly. "We were just watching TV."
"Well, can you keep the 'nothing' down, cos I�ve got a ton of math homework to do."
"Sure."
"Okay, then." Dawn gave a superior little grin to Spike before bounding up the stairs back to her room, two at a time.
Buffy sat stiffly on the couch, far away from Spike once more. It was only after a moment that she realised something.
"Spike," she said slowly. "I don�t think Dawn was doing her math homework."
"Why not, luv?"
"Because it�s Friday night. How many 15 year olds do you know who do their homework on a Friday night?"
"Looks like Lil Bit was snooping, trying to find out what we were up to. Not that we were up to anything," he added quickly, seeing the look on Buffy�s face.
"Uh, and now we�ve missed the end. Is there another one on this tape?"
Spike leaned over and grabbed the box.
"Nope, that�s it. Do you want to watch the next one?"
"Not tonight."
"Well, I guess I�d better be going then."
"No!"
Spike raised his eyebrow at her.
"I just mean, we could go on the internet again, if you want?"
"Okay then."
*******
Buffy and Spike settled down in front of the computer screen for the third time. When they had logged on, Buffy looked over at Spike.
"What shall we search for today?"
"Well, we�ve already searched for you. Why don�t we search for stuff on me?"
Buffy typed "Spike" into the search bar and pressed enter. She didn�t really expect to find anything. She could understand people making websites about her, but people making websites about Spike?!
Her jaw dropped open as she saw the list of links.
"267,362 matches. Looks like I�m more popular than you were, Slayer."
"Oh, shut up and choose one."
"I will then."
Spike moved the mouse around the screen, then clicked on one which read "Spikeaholics."
Buffy�s eyes went wide when the page loaded.
"Spikeaholics Not So Anonymous?! Who would like YOU enough to call themselves a Spikeaholic?"
"Guess quite a few people, luv, or there wouldn�t be a website."
Spike clicked to enter, and was instantly given a list of options.
"Okay, shall we try another quiz?"
"No! No quizzes. This world�s quizzes are evil. And I�m not very good at them."
"Well that�s just tough, luv."
Spike chose the quiz, and started to read aloud what it said. "'The Top Signs You�re A Spikeaholic. The Spikeaholic Purity test.' See, Slayer. It isn�t a test you can fail. Now you have to take it!"
Buffy pouted as Spike read out the first question. "Do you drool on your computer so much that you need a drool guard after looking at pictures of me?"
"Eww, no!"
"Okay. Do I pop into your head when someone mentions men?"
"You do whenever somebody mentions evil men. Does that count?"
"Let�s say it does." Spike ticked the little box next to the question. "Do you schedule all your appointments around BtVS, just so you can see me?"
"What�s BtVS?"
"Not a clue."
"Well it has something to do with seeing you, so I�m gonna say no."
"Do you swoon, sigh, drool, groan, moan, or get extremely horny every time you see me?"
"Well, I do moan a lot when I see you."
"Moan a lot. Okay." Spike ticked that box too. "Do you accidentally scream my name during sex? Yes." Spike clicked the box.
"In your dreams, Spike!"
"In yours too!"
"Un-tick the box! It isn�t fair, it�s cheating!"
"Fine, then." Spike un-selected the box. "Do you date someone just because they remind you of me?"
"No."
"Do you have more pictures of James Marsters around your house than of your own family?"
"Who�s James Marsters? What�s he got to do with this?"
"Dunno, so let�s just say yes. Does your mind wander during a conversation, just because someone mentioned something remotely related to me... such as blonde?"
*Lie,* Buffy thought. *Lie! You can�t answer that one truthfully. You�ll never hear in the end of it.*
"Yes," Buffy replied. "But only in the I hate you and want to kill you sense."
*Way to go, Buffy.*
Buffy answered all of the next questions no, although they mostly went on about this James Marsters guy, whoever he was. Eventually, they got down to question 16.
"Does leather turn you on?"
"Yes."
Spike stared at Buffy. "What?!"
"Well, you did ask."
Spike just raised his eyebrow at her, and turned back to the computer.
"Okay. Leather turns you on. Check. Do you talk about me as if you know me?"
"Well, yeah. Duh!"
A few more questions went by, Buffy answering no to all but one: Does a British accent make your knees weak? She never had been able to resist foreigners.
"Have you made all of your best online friends (or REAL LIFE friends) through your mutual love of me?"
"How about mutual hate of you? Does that count?"
"I guess so."
"Okay, then yes."
A few more questions passed, and then they were done.
"Okay, now we just have to click calculate, and�"
Buffy watched as her results appeared on the screen.
"65%?"
"Guess you like me more than you thought, luv."
"'Your addiction is here to stay. Recovery is futile. Sit back and enjoy it?!'"
"Good advice if you ask me."
Buffy stuck her tongue out at Spike, and read a little further down.
"Weirdness factor - 47%? It thinks I�m weird!"
"Well, you are, pet."
"Shut up Spike." Buffy pushed Spike away from her, hard. She�d only meant to do it playfully, but she had forgotten about her Slayer strength. Spike�s computer chair went spinning in circles across the room, and crashed into the door. Spike toppled off sideways, and landed in a heap on the floor.
"Ow!" Spike said. He had meant to sound angry but it just came out like a pitiful little wail.
"Serves you right."
"I see you�re full of the sympathy." Spike got grumpily to his feet and dragged the chair back up to the computer. "So, what are we looking at now."
"Well, nothing more on this site, that�s for sure. They�re all a bunch of freaks, worshipping you. And they said I was one of them!"
Buffy clicked back to the search engine. "Now I�m going to choose one."
She scanned the list of links, then spotted the perfect one. Grinning wickedly, she clicked it before Spike could see what it was.
The page loaded, and it was Spike�s turned to be shocked.
"KittenSpike?!"
Buffy scrolled down the page, and instantly fell off her chair from laughing.
"What? What is it?"
Spike nudged Buffy out of the way, and stared at the computer screen in horror. All across it were full colour pictures of him� wearing cute black fuzzy kitten ears.
"HOW DID THEY KNOW ABOUT THEM?!"
Buffy stopped laughing long enough to clamber back onto her chair. "What do you mean, how did they know?"
"I mean�what are they on? As if I�d wear fuzzy black kitten ears!"
"You�re a terrible liar, Spike."
"Fine! They were part of a Halloween costume. Drusilla was being a bit crazy, made me dress up as a cat on Halloween. Now let�s never talk about it again!"
"What were the other parts of the costume?"
"As if I�m gonna tell you!" Buffy just stared at him. "A spandex leotard, big fuzzy gloves and a long black tail. I looked like a right wanker as well."
Buffy just grinned.
"What are you grinning about?!"
"It�s just, I�d like to see you in this costume sometime."
"In your dreams pet."
"In yours too."
Buffy stared glumly around the cemetery. She and Spike had been patrolling for hours, and, once again, they hadn�t found so much as a sign that the Mohra demons were in town.
"Maybe they all left," Buffy said hopefully, after they had finished their fifty thousandth sweep of the area. "Maybe they came up against me, knew they didn�t stand a chance of ever beating me, and left."
"Doesn�t sound very likely, luv."
Buffy glared at Spike. "Well, it doesn�t mean you have to ruin my fun." She stared around once more. "Oh, it�s useless. There�s nothing here. Do you want to go back to my place, maybe watch some more videos?"
"All right, then."
Buffy took one last look around, then headed off towards her house. Unknown to her, hidden in the shadows, the Mohra demon waited. He laughed quietly to himself. This was all too easy. The Slayer was so concerned about finding him, and stopping The End of Days. It wouldn�t matter, even if she did kill him. He wasn�t the one who was causing it anyway. He had started it, given it a little push, but the rest wasn�t him. It was ironic how The Slayer was so busy trying to prevent the End of Days, when all along she was bringing it forth.
*******
Buffy unlocked the front door, and quietly stepped inside, signalling for Spike to follow her. Not wanting to wake Dawn, she tiptoed through the hall, and into the living room, to find her curled up on the couch, watching cartoons.
"Dawn?"
"Oh, hey Buffy."
"What are you doing up?"
"Buffy, it�s only 10 o�clock! And it�s the weekend! It�s not like I have to get up tomorrow."
Buffy just looked at her. She really wanted to watch those videos, but she couldn�t unless Dawn moved. It would look way too suspicious if she just ordered her away.
"Do you have any homework?"
"Yeah, but it�s not due in until Monday."
"Well, you should go do it."
"But. . ."
"No buts. Go!"
Dawn glared at Buffy, and stormed off to her room.
"Don�t you think you were a little hard on her, luv?"
"No! It�s late, she has homework, and she was hogging the TV."
Spike just grinned at her, then flopped down on the couch.
"What are you grinning at?"
"Nothing!"
Buffy sat down next to him, and muttered, "Didn�t look like nothing."
**********
Buffy was cuddled up next to Spike watching the screen. She wasn�t exactly sure how she had got in that position, but didn�t have the strength to move away from it.
She sure seemed to have had strength then, though. She watched the fight her and Spike were having, mesmerised by it all. She sure was beating the crap out of him. Then she suddenly noticed he was fighting back. How could he be fighting back without the chip hurting him?
"Spike," she said slowly. "How come. . ." She stopped suddenly when she saw the fight come to an abrupt end.
"Eew! That�s gross, Spike! You were thinking about fighting me when you and Harmony were, were. . . Eeew!"
"What�s the matter with that, luv."
"What�s the matter?! What isn�t the matter!"
"Well, it�s not like you never thought about me when you were shagging the soldier boy."
"Okay, you know how I said this was gross a minute ago? Well, forget that. This is way beyond gross. It�s so gross that there is no word to describe the grossness of it. It�s just. . . Eeew!"
"I notice you didn�t deny it, pet."
"Shut up, Spike."
Spike just grinned. Buffy hated that. It was so annoying. You would have an argument, and at the end he would just grin. When he did that you knew he had won.
*******
Buffy sat back and watched the credits roll. "Okay, what episode is on next?"
Spike reached for the box. "Err, Fool for Love."
"Fool for Love?"
"Yeah." Spike casually tossed the box aside, and turned back to the TV. "Wonder what it�s about."
Buffy watched as the screen changed to show her out on patrol. She was fighting a vampire. Nothing special about that, right? She didn�t really remember him, but she could tell just by watching that he must have been the tackiest dressed vamp she had ever seen. Even a vampire had to know that that outfit went out of fashion well over a decade ago. She saw herself pull out a stake and raise it ready to strike. She then watched in horror as the vampire grabbed her arm, and twisted it round, so that she plunged the stake into her own stomach.
Now she remembered him. How could she have forgotten him in the first place? It had been the first time that a vampire had beaten her in a long while.
She turned to see Spike stared at the screen, shock all over his face.
"You never told me a vampire staked you." He sounded half way between concern for Buffy and hurt that she hadn�t told him.
"You didn�t need to know. Besides, you were so busy wishing I was dead back then you probably would�ve just been disappointed that he didn�t finish the job."
Spike just looked at his feet.
Buffy turned her attention back to the TV, and watched the credits roll. When they had finished she saw herself running away as fast as she could. She didn�t normally run away from battle, especially with normal vampires, but she remembered the feeling she had got then. The feeling that she was about to die.
She watched the vampire throw her against a crypt wall, and approach her, stake raised. Glancing sideways she saw Spike leaning forward, desperate to see if she was going to be okay.
*How stupid is that,* she thought. *I�m sitting right next to him and he�s worried about whether that thing killed me or not! Then again, I have already died quite a few times already, and I�m still sitting here.*
Buffy grinned as Riley appeared out of nowhere, and threw himself at the vampire. He punched it a few times before it knocked his weapon out of his hands, and ran away as fast as it could.
Spike seemed relieved to see she was okay, but Buffy was sure she heard him mutter, "Stupid Git. I wouldn�t have let it get away. I�d have staked it good and proper. Yet she still thinks he�s the hero, just because he saved her life."
*******
<"Accounts of the final battles would be very helpful. But there's no one left to tell the tales. What?">
<"Ow! Wait. Not ow. You feeling all right, Slayer? This stuff usually hurts.">
"Wait a minute!" Spike yelled, outraged. "You beat me up, again, because you wanted me to tell you about the other Slayers? You could have just asked me!"
"Yeah, well I doubt I�d have got much out of you that way. Besides, this way�s more fun!"
Buffy was sure she heard Spike let out a faint growl.
"Are you growling at me?"
"What? No!"
"Yeah, Spike. Whatever."
Buffy turned back to the TV and saw that her and Spike were now in the Bronze. Buffy noticed that where as Spike seemed delighted to be having a drink with her, she was looking less than happy to be there. There was no way anyone watching that could have guessed that in less than a year she would be watching TV with Spike, BY CHOICE.
<"Spicy buffalo wings. Order me up a plate, I�m feeling peckish">
"Why did you make me buy you those things?"
"What was that, luv?"
"Why did I have to spend my well-earned cash to buy you food, when you don�t even eat?"
"Just cos I don�t need to eat, doesn�t mean I don�t want to. I�ve told you before, I like to put a bit of Weetabix in my blood. Gives it some texture."
"Okay, now I�m never gonna be able to eat Weetabix again without thinking about that horrible revelation. Just do me one favour, Spike."
"And what�s that?"
"Never tell me anything like that again."
Spike just grinned at her.
*******
<"What can I tell you baby. I've always been bad.">
Buffy watched as William the Bloody appeared before her eyes. She tried desperately to keep a straight face, failed, and burst out laughing.
"What?"
"Oh my God! I spent all this time thinking you were some sort of evil murderer or something when you were human, and it turns out you were just a simpering nobleman!"
"Hey! I don�t make fun of what you were like before you became the Slayer, and that�s much worse!"
"How is it worse?" Buffy wheezed, in between laughs.
"At least I wasn�t a stuck-up bitch."
Buffy stopped laughing then. "I was never a stuck-up bitch. I was just a little. . ."
"Unbearably mean? You think vampires are bad, pet, you should see popular girls in a cat fight. Trust me, you don�t want to get involved with that."
Buffy pretended to ignore him. She tried to act like she didn�t care what Spike said, but she was cut up inside. Spike thought she was a bitch. Did she really deserve that? Was she really that awful that he thought that little of her?
<"My heart expands, tis grown a bulge in it, inspired by your beauty, effulgent.">
Buffy stopped worrying about what Spike thought of her as she was hit by another fit of laughter.
"It wasn�t that bad," Spike muttered.
"Not that bad? Spike, the fact that you wrote poetry is funny enough, but the fact that you wrote BAD poetry?! Trust me when I say I never even knew poetry could be that bad."
"You should have, looking at some of the ones you wrote for English class."
"You read them? They�re my things, how dare you?!"
"What, were you waiting for a publishing deal? That�s likely!"
Buffy stuck her tongue out at him, elbowed him in the ribs, and turned back to the TV.
William was sitting on a sofa talking to a very pretty girl about the same age as her. The girl seemed quite distressed, and he seemed rather uncomfortable too. She cursed herself for not paying enough attention and tried desperately to figure out what was going on.
<"Your poetry, it's... they're... not written about me, are they?">
<"They're about how I feel.">
<"Yes, but are they about me?">
<"Every syllable.">
<"Oh, God!">
<"Oh, I know... it's sudden and... please, if they're no good, they're only words but... the feeling behind them... I love you, Cecily.">
<"Please stop!">
<"I know I'm a bad poet but I'm a good man and all I ask is that. . . that you try to see me-">
<"I do see you. That's the problem. You're nothing to me, William. You're beneath me.">
Buffy stared at the screen in shock. How could that woman, that... Cecily say that to Spike. How could he think she was a stuck-up bitch when she obviously wasn�t as bad as this girl. At least she would never do something so cold, so heartless. She had done some bad things to him in her time, but she had never said he was beneath her. That was just too awful to think about.
She glanced sideways at Spike, and saw he was looking at his hands, fighting back tears. She pretended not to notice. The last thing Spike would want would be for her to see him on the verge of crying.
She tried once more to concentrate on what was going on, but found it hard when she knew Spike was so upset. She was so concerned about him that she even forgot to laugh when she heard him say "Mother�s expecting me." She almost regretted laughing at him before. It had seemed so funny that that was what he was like when he was human, but really, it was just sad. In the tear jerky way. And thinking about it sure was jerking some tears.
*******
Buffy nervously looked at the screen, watching Spike fight one of the other Slayers. It was kind of disgusting to see another Slayer fight a fight she was obviously going to lose, but it was even more unsettling when she realised that if she hadn�t have been so lucky, she could have been one of them. One of Spike's "Slayer Count."
She watched in horror as Spike caught the Slayer by the arm, and sunk his fangs viciously into her neck. He then brutally threw her body aside, and looked around in triumph.
"When you described it to me, you never said it was as brutal as that." Despite all the horror she had seen, Buffy still felt very sick.
"Well, what would you have done if I had? Punched me in the nose most probable, and run out, coat fluttering behind you."
Buffy just ignored him. She seemed to be doing a lot of that lately.
*******
Buffy watched Spike attempting to kill the second Slayer. She was more prepared to watch this one. Not only had she already seen an example of what Spike could do, she vaguely remembered Spike going through it step by step with her.
<"She was cunning, resourceful. Oh, did I mention. . . hot?">
"Have you always had a thing about Slayers, Spike? Does the whole mortal enemy thing turn you on or something?"
"No, luv. Like I said, she had a touch of your style."
Buffy didn�t really know whether to be pleased or not about that. Did that mean he only thought that this Slayer was hot because she was like her, Buffy, or did it mean that he only liked her, Buffy, because she was like this Slayer?
She watched as the fight got more and more intense with every blow. It wasn�t just a mimic of the fight he had with this other Slayer. She was getting really pissed by his demonstration and what he was saying, even if what he said was true. He had been right in the first place, she hadn�t been ready to hear it.
*******
Spike had finished his demonstration, yet they were still arguing.
<"Get out of my sight, Spike.">
<" Oh... did I scare ya? You're the Slayer. Do something about it. Hit me. Come on. One good swing. You know you want to.">
<"I mean it.">
<"So do I. Give it me good, Buffy. Do it!">
<"Spike. . .">
Buffy watched as Spike leaned in to kiss her. She had completely forgotten about that. It was almost painful to watch the way she pulled away from him, shock and disgust on her face. She watched as Spike covered it up by grabbing her arms and acting all menacing, but she had seen that look flash across his face. That look of pain that she had never even known soulless creatures could have. Not until she had met Spike.
She watched herself throw Spike to the ground in disgust at what he had said to her, then throw some last words after him.
<"Say it�s true. Say I do want to. It wouldn�t be you Spike. It would never be you. You�re beneath me.">
Buffy just couldn�t believe what she had just said. No wonder Spike thought she was a bitch. She WAS a bitch. How could she have said something so awful to Spike.
Then she realized just how awful it was. It was exactly the same thing Cecily had said to him when he was human. Everyone he had ever loved had told him he was beneath them. Except Drusilla, but she had killed him, so she was just as bad. She watched helplessly as she saw Spike burst into tears. She had never seen Spike cry before. She had seen him close to tears, but this was different. It made her feel so dirty, knowing that it was her who had made him cry in the first place. She turned to face Spike, who couldn�t seem to meet her eye.
"Do you mind if I pause it for a minute?" she asked quietly. "I, um. . . I have to go to the bathroom."
Spike nodded, so she carefully pushed the pause button, and made her way upstairs. She stepped into the fluorescent lit bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She felt so bad it was unbelievable. How could she have done that? The only thing that was worse than those words that were replaying through her head was the look on Spike�s face the moment after she had said it. And what was even worse than that was the fact that she hadn�t even noticed at the time. Either that, or she just hadn�t cared.
She wiped a few stray tears from her eye. The last thing she wanted was for Spike to think she had been crying. She let the tap run for a few seconds, flushed the toilet, and then left the bathroom, hoping this would be enough to back up her cover story.
She walked quietly down the stairs, and then peered over the banister at Spike. She was shocked to see he was crying. Really crying. Tears were streaming down his face as his shoulders shook quietly. Not wanting him to know she had seen him like this, she tiptoed back up the stairs, waited a moment, then thundered her way down them again. When she reached the living room Spike�s face was dry, although his eyes were a little red.
She smiled at him, pressed play, and settled down on the couch once more.
*******
<"Hasn�t got a death wish? Bitch won�t need one.">
Buffy eyes went wide. He had been planning to kill her. Even after falling in love with her he had still planned to kill her. Just went to prove, she thought bitterly, he�s just a killer, no matter how much he�s changed.
Then she remembered something that she remembered saying to Angel many years before. "Love makes you do the wacky." The more she thought about it, the more that her life seemed to make it true. She guessed that counted for Spike as well.
*******
Buffy watched herself go onto the porch and sit down on the steps. She really didn�t remember this part too clearly. All she remembered was that it had hurt. Bad. That she had gone outside and cried, then come back in with a brave smile for her Mom. She had had to be brave. If she hadn�t had been, who else would have?
She noticed Spike march towards her from the shadows, and her heart pounded with fear. He had the gun at his side. He had really been planning to do it. He had come to her house to kill her. So why didn�t he?
She watched Spike raise the gun, then notice her tear-streaked face.
<"What�s wrong?">
She just couldn�t believe it. He had been so angry with her, he had been seriously going to kill her, but all it took was him to see her crying and everything just instantly changed.
<"Is there anything I can do?">
Buffy thought she was about to cry again then. She had been so mean to him, she had said the worst thing to him she possibly could have, yet he still really cared about her.
She saw Spike sit down on the steps next to her, and try to comfort her. It was so awkward, but so sweet that it was almost unbelievable. Buffy really did start to cry then. She was horrible to him, all the time, but he still loved her so much.
"Buffy? What�s wrong?" Spike looked over at her, concerned, but this just made Buffy cry harder. "Look, I know I was wrong planning to shoot you, but I swear, it didn�t mean anything. I was just really angry is all. I didn�t mean to hurt. . ."
Buffy put a silencing finger to his lips. "Shhh. It�s not important."
"What is it, pet."
"Do you love me?"
Spike looked her straight in the eye for the first time since the episode had begun. "With all my heart."
"How can you?! I�m so horrible to you all the time. I treat you like you�re nothing. And yet you still love me just like you did before. How can you ever forgive me for treating you like that?"
"There is nothing you�ve ever done I need to forgive you for."
"I can list so many just from watching this."
"It doesn�t matter, luv. I love you, you know I do. I always will. That�s all that matters."
Buffy couldn�t believe this. No-one had ever treated her like that before. Not even Angel. No-one had ever just readily forgiven everything she had ever done wrong to them. And yet she was forever pushing Spike away, and treating him like dirt, just because he didn�t have a soul. Had Angel loved her when he didn�t have a soul? She had still loved him, deep down, soul or not. So why was Spike different? She looked deep into his shocking blue eyes, and made a choice. Not because she was depressed. Not because she needed to "feel". Because she wanted to.
She leaned closer to Spike, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and pulling him towards her. She closed her eyes and leaned in when...
"Ahem."
She shoved Spike away and flew to the other end of the couch.
"Dawn! What are you doing?!"
"Willow�s on the phone. She said she needed to talk to you about some demon thing or something."
"I didn�t hear the phone ring."
"It rang loads of times before I picked it up. Guess the, er . . . TV was pretty engrossing, huh?"
"Yeah." Buffy glanced briefly at Spike. "Yeah, it was really. . . really enlightening."
Buffy got up and headed out into the hall.
"You can let yourself out, right Spike?"
But Spike just sat on the couch, grinning.