A few days had passed since Dawn had seen the tapes, and Buffy was still blushing. Every time Dawn saw her and Spike together she gave them funny looks, and she was sick of getting sarcastic comments when she suggested they go to McDonalds.
And now Buffy was bored. Everyone else had gone to The Bronze, but she�d decided not to go so she could avoid Dawn�s comments, and Willow�s knowing glances. She wished she�d gone, though. There was a �surprise performer� there that night, part of the Bronze�s attempt to lure new customers. They were finding it hard to get people to come these days, with their death rate being so high.
Spike had come over, but she still wasn�t having any fun. She was in an awkward, sulky mood, and didn�t feel like doing anything at all. Every time Spike suggested something she could do, she just sighed and replied �Whatever. I don�t mind."
The phone rang, and Buffy dragged herself of the couch and into the hall. Even talking to the tele-sales people was better than this. She was so bored she was even going to pretend to be interested.
"Hello?"
"Hi Buffy! It�s me."
"Oh, hey, Willow." Was she disappointed that it wasn�t someone selling something? She really needed to get a life.
"You will never guess who�s singing at the Bronze!"
"Who?"
"Guess!"
"Umm. . . Christina Aguilara?"
"Nope."
"J-Lo?"
"Nope."
"The Sex Pistols?"
"The Sex Pistols? You�ve been hanging around Spike too long."
"N-Sync?"
"They�re not even a band any more. Ooh, but you�re close!"
Buffy frowned. How could she be close with N-sync? Then it clicked.
******
Spike was flopped on the couch, wondering why he had come over there at all. Buffy was sulking, and sulky Buffy usually resulted in him being thumped.
He jumped up straight when he heard a shriek come from the hallway.
"Buffy?"
He ran into the hall, to find Buffy... talking on the phone?
"Oh my God, are you serious? We are talking about the same Justin, right? Justin Timberlake? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I�ll be there in a sec. Okay, bye."
Buffy turned to Spike, a huge grin on her face.
"You�ll never believe who�s singing at the Bronze!"
*******
Buffy and Spike walked into the Bronze, looking around at the full dance floor. Well, Spike walked. Buffy sort of bounced, wearing a grin so wide Spike was sure her face would break. She scrambled over to the table where Willow and Dawn were sitting, dragging Spike along with her.
"Hi, you guys!"
"Hey Buffy. Spike." Willow gave Buffy a knowing look.
"Hi Buffy. What kept you? Did you go down to McDonalds again?"
Willow looked confused, but Buffy just rolled her eyes. She knew this would happen. She knew there was a reason why she shouldn�t have come.
Her frown was replaced by a smile when she glanced up on stage. There he was, in all his sexy glory. She sank slowly down into her chair, not taking her eyes off the stage the whole time.
*******
Spike didn�t know why they�d bothered coming. Buffy hadn�t danced once. She hadn�t even spoken. She�d just stared at that wanker on stage. Not that he wanted to dance, anyway. Not with the whelp and his girlfriend on the floor, arms flailing. He definitely didn�t want to get too close to that.
# Dum Dub-a-dum #
Buffy suddenly jumped to her feet, grabbed Spike�s hand, and ran towards the stage.
"What is it, pet?"
"Shh!"
# Just something about you.#
"I LOVE this song!" Buffy squealed, and stopped running right in front of the stage. Before Spike could protest, she�d dragged him to her, and started to dance.
Spike heard that, and frowned. It made him think of when him and Buffy had first met. She was dancing at the Bronze, and he had been spying on her from the shadows. He had to admit, he�d fancied her even then.
Now it was getting decidedly creepy. The first thing he�d thought when he�d first seen her was not that he had to kill her, but that he had to make her a vampire. He�d quickly pushed the thought aside, but it had always been there.
Spike grinned. If Buffy was thinking what he was thinking about this song, this might get across the message she just didn�t seem to get.
*******
Xander frowned. Across the dance floor, he was sure he could see Buffy dancing with Spike. But she hated Spike, didn�t she? He had to remember to ask Willow about that one.
*******
Buffy frowned. This song always reminded her of her and Spike, but she�d never noticed that part before. For a moment she had thought he�d sung "If you give me that chance to be a man." She knew he didn�t, but it still made her think about how she�d treated Spike in the past. Maybe she shouldn�t have been as hard on him. He did try.
She started grinning in anticipation as her favourite part came up. This bit always reminded her of her and Spike the most. With a giggle, she started to rap along.
*******
Spike stared at Buffy, wide-eyed. Was she... rapping?! Now that was something you didn�t see every day. Entranced by her voice, he listened to the words.
Buffy broke into giggles as the song went back to the chorus.
"Never knew you rapped, luv."
"Yeah, well that one�s kinda special."
"Special, how?"
"Well, it�s reminds me of someone."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah."
Buffy walked closer to Spike, closing the gap between them, and spoke along with Justin.
"That�s what we do, right? Dance?"
"That�s all we�ve ever done."
Buffy hesitated for a moment, worrying about the others seeing. Then she decided, so what? The rest�ll find out soon enough anyway. And Dawn�ll always be annoying, whatever. With one quick movement, she leaned up, and crushed her lips against his in a midnumbing kiss, leaving Xander to watch from across the room with disbelief.
The kiss was stopped abruptly when Xander stormed over and flung the two of them apart.
"What the HELL do you think you�re doing?"
Buffy frowned at him. "What the hell do you think you�re doing?"
"I�m saving you from yourself. He�s a vampire, Buffy. He�s a demon."
"And?"
"And? And?! What other reason do you need? Spike equals demon, and demon equals evil. Evil things are for slaying, Buffy, not for laying."
"Oh, right. That�s why you�ve never been with Anya for 3 years."
"That�s different."
"Why? Why is this any different than what you and Anya have?"
"Because he�s evil, Buffy. He�s a killer. End of story."
"You�re just jealous that I�d rather be with another vampire than with you! Come on Spike."
She grabbed Spike�s arm and pulled him towards the door. As they were about to go through, Anya came up to them.
"Don�t listen to Xander. He�s just jealous of Spike�s good looks." She turned to face him, and licked her lips slightly. "Now, if you two ever break up, don�t forget to give me a call." She turned back to a seething Buffy, and grinned. "I wish you lots of orgasms."
*******
They took a shortcut through the cemetery on their way home. For a normal person, shortcuts through cemeteries only happened in scary horror movies, but for them, it was just an excuse for Buffy to let her anger out.
"Demons equal evil, Buffy!" Buffy shouted bitterly, as she kicked the unsuspecting vampire around the gravestones. "Demons are for slaying, Buffy, not for laying!"
"Who are you talking to? Who�s Buffy?" The vampire asked, obviously confused.
"Shut up!" She did a high kicked, aimed at the neck, and with a comforting crack it broke, turning the vampire to dust.
"Whoa," Spike said. "I�d hate to be fighting you tonight, Slayer. If I didn�t know better, I�d say you were pretty pissed off."
"Too right I�m pissed off! How dare he say that to me. I mean, he�s the perfect example of not dating demons, isn�t he? Insect Lady, Inca Mummy Girl, Anya. How are they any different from me and you? Cordelia was more evil than you are!"
"Hey! There is no way a prom queen is badder than I am."
"And you�re practically like Angel now. You�ve got your chip, and you wouldn�t hurt anyone anyway."
"I am NOT like the poof! You think I�m like the poof?! Well that�s just bloody great!"
"I just meant you�re good now, like Angel. You help the helpless."
"We�re very different. Our hair�s a completely different colour, and he�s way fatter than I am!"
"Okay, okay, don�t take it so personal."
"I mean, he�s a wimp. And his hair sticks up all weird. He uses way too much hair gel. And he is so righteous. I�m not righteous. I�m... wrongeous!"
"Spike..."
"And he has a soul. Do I have a soul? Nooo. Only soft vampires have a soul. Do I look soft to you? Do I? Tell me the truth." He paused for an answer, but it didn�t come. Looking around, he realised that Buffy had already stormed off, and was rapidly becoming a little spot in the distance.
*******
Buffy flopped down on the couch, seriously considering buying a pair of earplugs.
"And another thing..."
"Spike, if you say one more word about Angel, I will stake your ass."
He frowned, but didn�t say anything else. With a satisfied little smirk, Buffy pushed the video into the machine, and sat back, ready to watch another episode of her life.
The camera panned around Spike�s crypt, and Buffy could hear strange noises in the background. Thudding and... groaning? She made a mental note to keep an eye on the door. If Dawn came home and saw this on the screen... the last thing she needed was to give the girl some more fire power to tease her with.
She watched her and Spike�s silly bantering with slight amusement. She couldn�t see this happening now. In fact, she couldn�t see any of the things she�d seen happening. *Maybe Anya was right* she though. *Maybe us watching these episodes has affected things.* She wondered whether she should stop watching before things got screwed up even more, but then mentally shook her head. If things were already affected, what difference would a few more episodes make? She�d watch to the end of the season, and then she�d stop.
********
A few minutes later, Buffy watched in confusion as Warren stalked around a bar, looking at the girls.
"What do you think he�s going to do?"
"Dunno, luv. I�ll go out on a limb and say it�s gonna be pathetic, whatever it is."
<"Are you sure about that?">
<"Yes, God yes, I�m sure.">
Warren pulled some weird flashing thing out of his pocket, and Katrina looked at it blankly.
"Okay, so what was that meant to do?"
<"I love you, Master.">
"What?! He made that thing so he could control his ex-girlfriend? That is so sick!"
"Yeah, well, the guy is pretty sick, luv."
"Yeah, but this really takes the biscuit. I mean, mind control? That�s awful!"
Buffy paused from her rant for a moment, and glanced at the screen. When she saw what was happening her anger went out of her mind completely.
"Are they dancing?"
"Looks like it."
"Why are they dancing? This is really scary. We all swore never to dance again. It�s just too creepy after what happened with Sweet."
"Plus there�s the fact that none of you can dance. That should count too, you know. None of you seemed to care that I had to put up with the lot of you screeching your heads off when that demon came. Nearly killed me, that did."
"Shut up, Spike."
*******
<"Well, this is not some fantasy, it's not a game, you freaks! It's rape!">
"Oh my God," Buffy said, almost shaking with rage. "That poor girl. I can�t believe that bastard nearly did that to her. How dare he try to rape someone! That�s just about the worst thing he could have done! I�m sorry, but this is personal now. I am going to find that guy, and I�m going to kill him."
"Buffy..."
"No, Spike! I don�t care that I don�t kill humans! That guy isn�t human if he can do that! He�s a thing. A disgusting, evil thing."
"No, Buffy. Look." Spike gestures towards the screen, and Buffy saw what he was talking about. Katrina was lying on a flight of stairs, dead.
"What?" Buffy stared at the screen, wide eyed. "He... he killed her?" She seemed lost for words for a moment, then stood up suddenly.
"I have to find him. I have to find him and kill him in the worst way possible. He�s a sick, twisted bastard for doing what he did and I�ll be damned if I don�t make sure he�s punished."
"Buffy," Spike said, gently grabbing her arm and pulling back down to sit on the couch beside him. "There�s nothing you can do. This hasn�t even happened in our world yet. All you can try to do is stop this from really happening, and there�s no way that�ll happen tonight."
Buffy sighed, and leaned against Spike�s chest. "I know, I�m sorry. I don�t know, I just... seeing him do that made me so mad I just wanted to hurt him."
"You will, pet. But not for something he hasn�t done yet. And not tonight."
Buffy nodded slowly, wiping the tears away from her face. "When, then?"
"Soon. But not �til after they�ve used that invisibility ray. Having an invisible slayer all of my very own looked like fun."
Buffy elbowed him in the rib, but she was smiling.
*******
<"Don�t think about the evil bloodsucking fiend. Think about anything but the evil bloodsucking fiend.">
"So, you have to work hard to stop thinking about me, pet?"
Buffy pushed him lightly, then turned back to watch a girl being chased by demon. She saw herself tackle one of them, and then look around confused as both the demon and the girl disappeared.
"Huh?"
<"Huh?">
"Hmmm, deja-vu."
Buffy shushed him as the screen flashed again, this time showing Katrina sitting crying on the ground.
"And again I say huh. What�s going on? I thought she was dead."
Another flash, and Katrina was gone.
"Okay, this is beyond weird now."
She watched more flashes, and quickly became more and more confused.
<"Spike, what�s happening?">
"You want another deja-vu moment?" Buffy said. "Spike, what�s happening?"
"Reckon it�s those demons. Look like Rwasundis" After seeing Buffy give him a blank look, he sighed and said, "The hooded demon things. They distort time and what-not. Hang around �em too long and your head�ll get seriously messed."
Buffy nodded, watching as time continued to change. She gasped in shock as she saw herself accidentally hit Katrina hard, sending her flying backwards over the edge of the cliff.
"Oh God."
She watched herself run down the cliff after her, stumbling in the undergrowth.
<"I killed her.">
Buffy gaped at the screen, unshed tears gathering in her eyes. If she thought she couldn�t get anymore wide-eyed, however, she was wrong. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw Katrina standing nearby, watching them.
"God, how many times do you have to kill that bird before she�ll stay dead?" Spike asked, frustrated.
"Spike!"
"Sorry, luv. But it�s true."
She frowned at him, but didn�t say anything as she watched herself and Spike argue as he dragged her through the forest, willing the screen to explain what the hell was going on. Eventually, Warren and Andrew appeared on the screen.
<"Two problems, one stone.">
"What?"
"He said, �Two problems, one stone� pet."
Buffy gave him a withering look. "Thanks for your help."
She became even more confused when Katrina herself walked into the van. However, it all became clear when she turned back into Jonathon.
"Those bastards! They set me up! Oh, I am SO going to kill them!"
"Tomorrow, luv."
"Right. Tomorrow, I am so going to kill them."
********
She watched herself tell Dawn that she�s going to go to the police with mixed emotions. She still felt angry with Warren for doing this, but she also felt a little annoyed with Dawn for not being very sympathetic. She had thought she�d killed someone and all Dawn could go on about was the fact the she was 'abandoning' her. Finally, she felt very sorry for herself, which was definitely the weirdest feeling of all. It was strange feeling sorry for a character in a TV show, who also happened to be her. Just thinking that made her head hurt.
Now she was standing outside the police station, ready to go inside.
<"What do you think you�re doing?">
<"The right thing. For once.">
<"Sorry, luv. Can�t let you do that.">
"I know you�re trying to protect me, but there�s a line, you know."
"And I supposed you�re trying to tell me that that line comes before stopping the woman you love turning herself in for a crime she didn�t commit."
"No, I�m saying it comes before not noticing that I�m in pain and need to do something to make it go away!"
"And going to prison for something you didn�t even do?! How is that going to do anything except make you depressed and stop me from ever seeing you again? Not to mention letting Sunnydale get over-run with vamps."
"That�s all this is, isn�t it? You don�t want me to go to jail because that�d leave you without your little sex toy."
"Little sex toy? Is that all you think this is? Because if that�s what you think, I don�t know if I wanna hang around. I love you."
<"No, you don�t.">
Both people�s attentions suddenly turned back to the TV as they saw a fight going on there that mirrored their own.
<"You think I haven�t tried not to.">
<"Try harder!">
Buffy watched as TV Spike jumped towards her, in full vamp face.
<"I am not going to let you throw your life away over this.">
"Okay," Buffy said, her eyes not meeting Spike�s, "maybe I was wrong about the reason why you didn�t want me to go. But you still have to let me make my own decisions."
"Buffy, luv, all you do is make your own decisions."
Buffy didn�t reply as she saw herself hitting Spike in desperation.
<"That�s it. Put it on me, put it all on me. That�s my girl."
She then looked on in amazement as she saw herself start punching Spike mercilessly, again and again. Her vision became blurred as she saw him just lie there and take it. The words she heard herself say to Spike were hurting even her, and the tears started to gradually make their way down her face.
Spike put his arm around her.
"Hey, pet, don�t cry. It doesn�t matter. It never happened. And now you know that you didn�t kill the girl, it never will."
"You don�t mind?" Buffy asked quietly, her eyes fixed on the screen.
"Of course I don�t, pet. You�ve always hit me a lot. Why should this be any different?" His words were comforting and his voice steady, but if Buffy had made the effort at that moment to look into his eyes at that moment, she would have seen the pain and betrayal behind them. But she didn�t. She just kept staring at the screen, his words reassurance enough.
*******
<"I�ve doubled checked everything. There�s nothing wrong with you.">
Buffy grinned, relieved. She had tried to hide it from Spike, but she had still been extremely worried about the possibility that she was a demon now.
<"You must have missed something. Will you check again?">
"Okay, this may seem like a stupid question, but why do you want her to check again? Do you wanna be a demon, or something? Cos if you do, I�m sure we could come up with an arrangement..." Spike trailed off, but Buffy ignored him as she watched the screen intently.
<"Buffy, I-I promise, there's nothing wrong with you.">
<"There has to be! This just can't be me, it isn't me. Why do I feel like this? Why do I let Spike do those things to me?">
"Oh, right luv," Spike said angrily, getting to his feet. "So that�s the only reason you wanted to be with me. Because you thought you were a demon. Well, that�s just bloody great!"
"Spike... I didn�t mean it in that way."
<"Do you love him?">
Both of them turned to the TV, waiting desperately to hear her answer. All they got, however, was Buffy staring blankly at Tara.
<"I-It's okay if you do. He's done a lot of good, and, and he does love you. A-and Buffy, it's okay if you don't. You're going through a really hard time, and you're...">
<"What? Using him? What�s okay about that?">
"Didn�t mean it that way?!" Spike said, trying to cover up his pain with anger. "Well, it sounds like you bloody well did, doesn�t it. You just said so yourself!"
Buffy got to her feet and walked towards him. "But Spike..." She put her hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it away, and stormed to the other side of the room.
"Don�t but Spike me! I�ve done a whole bloody lot for you, and I never asked for one thing in return! But you still gave me something. You. Or at least I thought you did. But it wasn�t a reward, was it? It was a bleeding punishment. Yet another trick to driving Spike round the bend, and get yourself a good shag or two in the process, right Slayer? Well, I may be love�s bitch, but I�m no prat." He marched out of the room towards the door, grabbing his coat off the banister in the process.
Buffy ran after him, tears streaming down her face. "Spike, please listen to me."
"Fuck you, Slayer." With that, he stormed out of the door, slamming it behind him.
*******
Half an hour later, Willow entered the living room to find Buffy curled up on the floor, sobbing. She instantly went to her friend�s side, and put a comforting arm around her.
"Buffy, what�s wrong?"
Through the tears, she heard Buffy gulp, "Spike."
"What did he do? Buffy, did he hurt you?"
Buffy shook her head, and looked up at her friend.
"No. I hurt him. He thought I was using him, and he stormed out."
"Were you?"
Buffy shook her head again. "No. But he thought I was cos of this whole depressed cos I was taken from heaven thing." A guilty twinge passed over Willow�s face, but she tried to keep it hidden. "And now I don�t think he�s ever going to come back. He wouldn�t listen to me, Will. I tried to explain to him, but he wouldn�t listen."
Willow frowned, trying to work up the courage to ask her the next question.
"Buffy, if you�re not using him, does that mean... well, I mean... do you love him?"
Buffy looked into Willow�s eyes, her lip trembling.
"Yes."
Buffy picked her way through the gravestones, looking around intently for any signs of demonic activity. It had been a week since she�d had the argument with Spike, and she hadn�t seen him since. Every day she thought of going to his crypt to see him, and every day she decided against it. She knew that if she went it would mean she�d have to talk feelings with him, and that was something she�d never been good at. So instead she patrolled the cemeteries all night, hoping she would �accidentally� bump into him.
She�d been so lost in thought that she hadn�t noticed where she was going, and was surprised to see she was standing outside Spike�s crypt. For a second she contemplated going inside, but then wrapped her arms around herself and hurried past. She was thinking about moving on to a different cemetery to remove herself from temptation, when a vampire jumped out of nowhere and tackled her to the ground.
Buffy sprung into fighting mode immediately, pushing all thoughts of Spike out of her mind as she kicked the vamp out of the way and jumped to her feet. The vamp seemed very surprised that she had fought back and stared at her in amazement for a moment. A moment was all Buffy needed. She lunged forward and drove the stake through the stupid vampire�s heart. The vamp screamed in pain as he exploded into dust.
*I�ve never heard a vampire scream when it�s staked before,* Buffy thought idly. *What a wuss.*
She sensed another one coming up behind her, and spun around, stake raised, to see Spike standing there, looking apprehensive.
She lowered her stake slowly, and said, without even thinking, "What do you want?"
The minute she said it, she regretted it. It had come out a lot more pissed off then she had meant, and Spike visibly winced at the coldness of her words.
"Nothing, Slayer. Just saw you were out patrolling and thought you might want a bit of help. Looks like I was mistaken." He turned round, and started to storm back to his crypt. Buffy stumbled after him.
"Spike, wait."
"What?" He turned back to face her, and stared at her expectantly. Buffy opened her mouth to speak, but couldn�t think what to say under his fiery gaze.
There was a long pause. After a moment, Buffy said, "Have you noticed how things have been different since we started watching those videos? How things that they showed were going to happen never did?"
"Yeah. What�s your point, luv?"
"Well..." Buffy trailed off, trying desperately to think of the words to say what she felt without bearing her heart open too much. "Maybe some of the things that people said or felt on the videos aren�t what they feel now. Maybe things are so different now that some of the stuff will never happen. Maybe people said things that they didn�t really mean. Maybe..."
"Maybe? You don�t sound too sure of yourself, luv."
Buffy groaned, her temper getting the better of her. "Why do you always do this? How come whenever I have something important to say to you, you�re always cocky and sarcastic? I try to talk to you and all I get back is your cooler-than-thou attitude. I mean, what the hell is wrong with you!"
"Sorry, pet. I didn�t think you had a point. I thought you were just rambling."
"I�m trying to tell you something!"
"Well, you can�t be trying that hard or else you would�ve said it already!"
"I�m trying the best I can!" Buffy looked away from him then, tears starting to form in her eyes. Spike took a step towards her, but she moved until there was several feet between them, and she fidgeted agitatedly on the balls of her feet with her back to him. "I just... I�m not good with talking about my feelings. Cos, you know, every time I do I get chewed up and spit out. Maybe you can do the whole heart on your sleeve thing, but it�s just not my style." She wiped her eyes, then added as an afterthought, "At least, not any more."
"Buffy..."
"Don�t. Don�t make this any harder than it already is." She took a deep breath as she raked her fingers through her hair, then started again. "I�m sorry, okay? I�m sorry about what happened. I know it doesn�t make it better, but I need you to know. I don�t know why I�m sorry, because I haven�t done anything wrong, but I am!"
"Haven�t done anything wrong? I think using me does actually count as a mistake, luv!"
Buffy spun around to face him, her face flushed with rage. "Have I ever said I was using you? Ever? You�re basing my feelings on something that I never really said. You know how much has changed since we started watching those videos. What, do you just assume that I still feel the same way, despite everything else? You�re such a self-obsessed prat sometimes. And I�ve just realised I�ve veered away from what I�ve been practising all week, but I just don�t seem to care! That�s a feeling I�ve been having a lot lately when I�ve been around you. I don�t care what my best friends think about us being together! I don�t care that you�re a vampire! I don�t care that you don�t have a soul! I don�t care about anything anymore except you! You know, maybe if I didn�t love you so damn much I�d get along a lot better!"
Buffy�s eyes went wide when she realised what she�d said. Her hand flew up to cover her mouth, and she started edging backwards.
"What did you just say?"
"I don�t know. I didn�t mean to say that." Buffy avoided his gaze as she started to turn away, but Spike grabbed her arm and spun her round to face him.
"Did you just say you loved me?"
"I didn�t mean to say that. It just came out."
"Doesn�t matter if you meant to say it. What matters is if you meant it."
"I can�t talk about this now."
"Oh, I think you can. All you have to is say yes or no. S�not that hard."
Buffy looked up into his eyes, and felt them penetrating deep inside her. "Yes, okay! I love you! Are you happy now?"
"Not nearly." And before Buffy could blink, he�d moved down and gently pressed his lips against hers. It was unlike any other kiss they�d ever shared. It was slow and sweet, caring and gentle. It lacked the fire they usually had, but it had a loving feel that they�d never had before. After a long moment, Spike pulled away. "Now I�m happy."
"Mmmm. Me too." Buffy smiled, and melted against his chest. "I�ve missed you."
"Yeah. Missed you too."
Buffy suddenly jumped onto her own feet, and grinned. "I almost forgot, I�ve got a surprise for you back home."
"A surprise, huh?" Spike said slowly, raising his eyebrow. "What kind of surprise are you talking about?"
Buffy giggled at the look on his face, then said, "One of the none naughty variety." Seeing his face fall slightly, she added, "But you�ll love it. I promise."
********
Half an hour later, Buffy and Spike settled down in front of the computer. Buffy was grinning madly, but Spike was looking confused.
"No offence, luv, but I don�t see why this is such a surprise. We go on the net all the time."
"You�ll see."
She logged on, and clicked onto her favourites list. Before she could choose the link, however, Spike said, "Did that chick ever email you back?"
"Which chick?"
"The one you emailed about what the AR is and stuff."
"Oh, yeah. You can read it if you like." Buffy quickly navigated through the email account until she found it. She gave Spike the mouse as he scrolled through it.
^Hi^ It said in bright purple letters.
^Thanks for emailing me! I know how you feel. I was so confused when I first started reading fanfic. Everyone�s always talking in code! Hope you�ve sorted it out now.^
^You don�t know what the AR is? You�re a BBC viewer, right? Sorry, but I don�t want to spoil it for you. You�ll find out as soon as Seeing Red�s shown. Try to not read spoilers before then, cos you�ll be happier not knowing!^
^Luv Rhi^
Spike started at the screen in disgust. "She didn�t answer our question at all! Stupid cow."
"Yeah, but you know how she said we�d find out once we watched Seeing Red? Well, I looked, and Seeing Red is one of the episodes we�ve got, so we won�t have to wait long to find out."
"Yeah, I guess." Spike stayed quiet for a moment, then said, "So, what�s this surprise you�ve got me? Is it porn?"
"No! It�s better."
Buffy clicked on a link in her favourites, and Spike watched as the page loaded. He broke out into a grin as he read the title.
"�Reasons why Spike is better than Angel.� Aww, Buffy, you shouldn�t have!"
Buffy grinned. "I knew you�d like it."
Spike started to read, thinking he�d died and gone to heaven.
"�Let's talk about handling failure: When Angel fails something, he tries to kill himself. When Spike fails something, he kills the boss and watches TV.� The poofter tried to kill himself?"
Buffy nodded mutely.
"Always knew he was too pathetic to survive in the real world."
Buffy smiled and read the next one. "�Spike isn't stupid enough to bite a gypsy in the first place.�"
"Too right I�m not. I�m not stupid enough to get cursed! Always thought it was his own bloody fault."
"�Two words: the car. I WANT that car!�"
"Well, they can�t bloody have it! That car�s unique!"
"I thought you got rid of it."
Spike avoided Buffy�s gaze. "Yeah. Got rid of it. Right."
Buffy rolled her eyes, and turned back to the list. "�Spike doesn't brood!!!�"
"That�s right! I never brood! Brooding�s for poofs!"
Buffy ignored him as she read down to the bottom of the page, then burst out laughing.
"What�s so funny, luv?"
"This must have been written quite a while ago!"
"Why?"
Buffy pointed at a sentence and Spike, leant closer to read it. "�One thing you can say about Spike: he's not conflicted. If he wanted Buffy he wouldn't let fear, angst, or a poor, tortured soul stop him.� I don�t see what�s so funny, luv."
"That s totally wrong. You were such a little puppy dog when you fell in love with me! All sad and pathetic, digging around for any little compliment from me. It nearly made me sick! You were far worse than Angel!"
"Yeah, well I�m better than Angel at other things, right luv?" Spike asked suggestively, but Buffy wasn�t listening.
"Yeah, Spike, sure. You know, I�m kinda tired. I think I�m gonna go to bed."
"Really, luv?" Spike asked, grinning.
"Okay, gutter much? I wanna sleep."
Spike looked disappointed. He stood up and started towards the door. "Oh. Well, I�ll see you tomorrow, luv."
Buffy hurried after him. "You can stay if you want. Dawn and Willow won�t mind. As long as sleep�s the only thing you do."
Spike smiled gratefully. "Thanks, luv."
"I�m gonna have a shower first though. Wanna come with?" She licked her lips, and started up the stairs. Spike hurried after her right on her heels. Now that was an offer he wasn�t going to miss!
Buffy glanced over at the clock on the mantle-piece, and slowly registered the time. Midnight. She should probably go to bed soon, or at least go on patrol, but she just couldn�t seem to be able to move from her position on the couch. She was stretched all along it, her feet curled up at one end and her head cushioned in Spike�s lap at the other. She�d been lying in that position for hours, watching yet more videos with him. They had both booed and thrown popcorn at the screen when Riley came. Buffy had been grateful to see her bridesmaid dress *before* the wedding, and made a mental note to try to talk Anya out of it later. Spike had watched himself sleep with Anya, and after a moment of insane jealousy from Buffy, she had accepted that she had been a bit of a bitch to him, and couldn�t really blame him after the way she had treated him.
Now the last episode on that tape was starting, and Buffy grinned as she saw Willow and Tara lying in bed together, laughing and joking like they used to. She really hoped this was one thing that wouldn�t change, because everything else had worked out so perfect apart from that. Willow had never gone over the edge with her spells, Jonathon, Andrew and Warren were in jail after her tipping the police off about their planned jewellery heist, Xander and Anya were still happily together, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, she was completely happy in a relationship. Okay, so Spike wasn�t exactly a normal guy, but she�d done the normal guy thing several times, and it had never turned out well. Admittedly, she�d done the vampire thing before as well, and that had turned out even worse, but it wasn�t like Spike had a soul to lose, and she knew he�d never do anything to hurt her.
She was brought out of her thoughts when she glanced at the screen and saw herself attacked by buzz saws in the Trio�s lair.
"Oh my God, how lame!" she said cockily to Spike, still not moving from her position on the couch. "You�d think if they wanted to kill me they�d actually use something useful like a time-bomb or a room with walls that moved in or something. I mean, sure, go for the geek look, but they�ve been tracking me all year and that�s the best they can come up with? Don�t you think, Spike?"
He paused for a moment, and then said, "How about, when they get out of jail, I give them some lessons in villainy, so that next time they try to kill you, it works? Is that what you want?"
"Yeah, that works. As long as these guys get a little better at it, you know?"
"You are a very strange girl."
Buffy looked up at him then, a questioning look on her face. "What? Why?"
He dodged the question, and instead nodded towards the screen, saying, "Look, that Amber bird made the opening credits. Must be nice for her."
Buffy looked over at the screen to see Tara there doing magic, with the words �Amber Benson� written underneath in white. She smiled slowly. "I guess that means Tara�s going be back in the scene then. A fully fledged Scooby again. That�ll be nice for Willow."
"And for you. I know you miss the girl."
"Yeah," Buffy said. "Yeah, I do."
*******
<"Does it help?">
<"Doesn�t hurt.">
"Is that your solution for everything, Spike? Get drunk?"
"Well, every time I try a more active approach, things just end up worse. At least by getting drunk I�m not gonna end up inadvertently staked by a certain Slayer we both know."
"When has taking a �more active approach� made things worse?"
He looked down at her and grinned. "How about the time you found out I loved you and I chained you up in the basement?"
"Okay, good point."
"Or the time you rejected me so I made a robot version of you instead?"
"Well..."
"Or the time I came to Sunnydale to kill you because you broke me and Dru up, but ended up with this bloody chip in my head?"
"I guess..."
"Or the time..."
"Okay, I get it! Proactive Spike not of the good. Point proven. Now shut up and let me watch it."
"Well, you did ask, luv."
*******
<"You hurt? You're not moving so well.">
<"Get out.">
<"We need to talk.">
<"I really don�t.">
<"This isn�t just about you, as much as you�d like it to be.">
"Looks like you decided to be Proactive Spike after all," Buffy said with a grin. "Good for you."
"I don�t like this," Spike said slowly. "These things never turn out well, whether I mean them to or not."
"Well, maybe this time it�ll be different, you know? You can�t get all worked up over a few bad experiences, can you?"
<"You should have let him kill me.">
<"I couldn�t.">
<"Why?">
<"You know why.">
<"Because you love me.">
<"No. I don�t.">
"Well, that stings, pet."
"You know as well as I do this stuff is different. Besides, it�s so obvious I�m being denial girl."
"You think?"
"I know."
Spike looked at the screen, when his doppelganger seemed to be trying to convince her it was true. "Looks like he knows too."
<"Let yourself feel it.">
<"Stop it.">
"Wait. What the hell..."
Buffy saw herself stumble and crack her back against the bathtub, Spike landing on top of her, pinning her down. "What the hell are you doing?!"
She was sitting up now, looking madly at Spike, but he didn�t answer, just stared wide-eyed at the screen. He wanted to look away, but he was like a rabbit caught in the headlights, totally unable to stop watching what he was doing.
<"STOP! Ask me again why I could never love you.">
<"Buffy, my God, I didn�t...">
<"Because I stopped you! Something I should�ve done a long time ago.">
"Oh my God."
For a second Buffy thought she had spoken, then she realised it was Spike. He was standing up now, fists clenched, confusion all over his face.
"You got that right."
"What was that?! What... I wouldn�t... I�d never..."
Buffy laughed bitterly. "Proactive Spike strikes again."
He turned to look at her then, as if he had only just remembered she was there. "God, Buffy, I�m sorry." He reached towards her but she jumped back, so that she was standing just out of his reach.
"Don�t... don�t touch me right now."
Spike hung his head, frowning. Then he turned and headed for the door.
"Wait! Where are you going?"
"Away. I should have left the minute I found out I could hurt you."
"What? Why?"
"You saw what I did when I found out. I hunted you down to fight you. It was only a matter of time before something like this happened."
"But that never did happen!"
"But it could do," Spike said angrily, digging his fingernails into his palms so hard Buffy could see the slow trickle of blood coming out.
"I thought we agreed that what happened on the videos was nothing like what was really happening any more."
"Yeah, but that was fucking different, wasn�t it? That wasn�t this. You told me yourself you didn�t want me to touch you." He set off towards the door again, but she hurried after him, teary eyed.
"I was confused! Seeing yourself almost get raped by a guy isn�t something you get over straight away. I still love you."
"Yeah," he said bitterly. "Well, maybe you should rethink that one." And with that he swept out of the door and onto the street.
"Spike!"
He just kept going, breaking into a run as he disappeared into the shadows, not looking back.
*******
Buffy lay curled up on the couch, her eyes red as she watched the rest of the episode. A part of her wanted to go after Spike, but her voice of reason told her there was no point until they had both calmed down. Another part of her wanted to re-watch that scene, to find the proof that it was an accident, but most of her just wanted to watch it to the end to see what would happen.
She had waited for too long to see Spike appear on the screen again, and when he did it was in a way that reminded her of what she was sure Spike was doing now. He swept into his crypt, his face contorted with anger and guilt.
The screen flashed to show his thoughts, and she saw herself struggling on the bathroom floor. It was gone as suddenly as it had come, and the screen show Spike again. He turned and poured himself a drink, but then the screen flashed to show his thoughts again. The glass smashed in his hand as he squeezed it in frustration.
<"What have I done? Why didn�t I do it? What has she done to me?">
Buffy wiped more tears from her eyes as she realised that almost all the horrible things that had happened on the tapes were her fault. And she had blamed Spike for all of them.
<"It�s the chip! Steels and wires and silicon! It won�t let me be a monster, when I can�t be a man.">
That triggered something in Buffy�s memory from a long time ago. What had he said, when they went to collect weapons to fight Glory? �I know that I�m a monster, but you treat me like a man.� And after a year of treating him the way she did, he didn�t even believe that anymore. Buffy felt sick.
She got to her feet, and stumbled glumly into the kitchen to get herself a glass of water. She grabbed a tumbler and filled it from the tap, then went to the freezer to get some ice. She frowned as she saw the blood bags hanging there, then shut the door with a bang. She had forgotten those were there. He spent so much time at her house these days that she probably had more blood for him here than he had in his own crypt. He always needed blood. And marshmallows. She didn�t know why, but he always seemed far more fussed when she didn�t have marshmallows for his hot chocolate than if she didn�t have anything else. *What a macho vampire,* she thought weakly. *What kind of evil villain craves marshmallows anyway? Shouldn�t he be craving the still-beating heart of a young maiden or something stupid like that?*
Deciding against the ice, Buffy went slowly back into the living room, and almost dropped the glass at what she saw on the TV. Spike was riding his motorbike on the highway, leaving Sunnydale far behind.
"He left. He really left." She sank back down onto the couch, trying not to cry. *This isn�t real,* she reminded herself. *This never happened, and will never happen.*
Now she was watching what she hoped would be the touching reconciliation moment between her and Xander. She hated it when they fought, even if it wasn�t real.
<"Time for the Spring Poking already?">
<"Just making sure there are no more Evil Trio cameras. Or Evil Uno.">
<"The sinister yet addictive card game?">
Buffy giggled at that. It was funny how no matter how bad she felt, Xander could still make her laugh.
<"Warren. Jonathan and Andrew got clinked, but... Warren pulled a Rocket Man.">
<"You'll find him. He won't be much good without his friends.">
<"No, he won't.">
*Or boyfriend,* Buffy thought sadly. *Not much good without him either.*
<"I don't know what I'd do without you and Will.">
<"Let�s not find out.">
<"I love you. You know that, right?">
Buffy jumped a mile when she saw Warren coming up the path, a gun raised in his hand.
<"You think you can just do that to me? You think I�d let you get away with that? Think again!">
He fired wildly bullets flying through the air. She saw herself shove Xander to the ground and out of the way, and breathed a sigh of relief that he was safe.
Then the screen changed to show a bullet fly through the upstairs window and hit Tara in the chest.
<"Your shirt.">
"Tara!"
Her eyes got blurry again as she saw Tara fall to the floor, Willow bending over her.
*It�s not real,* Buffy tried to remind herself. *It�s not real, it�s not real, it�s not real.*
But another voice broke into her thoughts. *It could be.* That�s what Spike had said, right? It could be.
*But it isn�t,* Buffy thought adamantly. *It�s not going to happen. Everything�s different now.*
She gasped as Willow threw her head back, her eyes black. The kind of black they went when she was about to use dark magick. Then, suddenly, then turned red.
It could be.
*Time to call the others,* Buffy thought wildly. *This has gone far enough.*
*******
Half an hour later all the Scoobies, minus Dawn and Spike, were gathered in the living room. As each one had arrived, they had asked about her tearstained face, but each time she had shook her head, telling them only that they would understand soon enough.
She had sat them all on the couch, then taken a deep breath and started to explain.
"Do you all remember that a couple of months ago Spike and I found out that our lives were a TV show?" They all nodded in confirmation, so she continued. "Well, I sorta ordered a few episodes."
"What do you mean, you ordered a few episodes?" Xander asked, eyes narrowed.
Buffy went over to her weapons chest, and rummaged around. A few seconds later she pulled the box sets out of their hiding places under the battle axes, and put them on the table in front of the others. "Here," she said. "These are them. Me and Spike have been watching them since we found out."
Anya picked the S6 box off the table and read the back of one of the videos. "But the back of this one says you became invisible. That never happened."
"No, it didn�t. We found out that some of the tapes had stuff that hadn�t happened yet on it. You know, stuff from the future."
"And you still watched them? What did I say about meddling with that?" Anya said, outraged. "Why does nobody listen to me? I said it was dangerous. Who knows what you�ve done by watching them!"
"We haven�t done anything! Well, a few things have changed, but they�re all good things. I saved a few lives is all. It�s all of the good. I promise."
"How can you know? Something might have happened that you don�t know about yet!" The ex-demon turned to her boyfriend for support. "Xander, tell her!"
"I don�t know. I�m still freaked by the fact that people watch us on TV!"
Buffy chewed her lip, then said, "Well, you�re gonna have to get used to it �cause I�ve got an episode I think you ought to see."
"We can�t watch that!" Anya said indignantly.
"Well, if Buffy wants us to see it," Willow said slowly, "then I guess we�d better see it. I mean, she�s been keeping it secret from us for all this time, so to tell us now... it must be important."
*******
*This is way weird.* That was the only thought that was running through Willow�s head at that moment. That, and *Yay! Me and Tara are gonna get back together.* She didn�t get how Buffy and Spike could have done this night after night without getting seriously creeped out. It was so weird, watching yourself on TV doing stuff you�d never ever done.
Almost as if she�d read her mind, Buffy said, "I know it�s weird. But you get used to it after a while, and you really need to see this. Just remember what I said. Just because it�s shown here doesn�t mean it�s gonna happen. It took Spike and I a long time to figure that one out."
"It shouldn�t be different at all," Anya said bitterly. "It should be exactly as it�s shown here." Willow ignored her. She didn�t know why Xander put up with her. She was always whining about something. Or embarrassing him. Or both.
"Okay, so who are these guys again?" Willow asked, waving her hand at the screen.
"You remember the guys I caught robbing that museum? Well, I didn�t catch them on here. They kept doing geeky, �world conquering� things. They�re them."
"Oh. So are they like the bad guys?"
"Yep. They should�ve been our resident bad guys this year. Of course, I stopped them before they got the chance," Buffy said proudly.
"Good for you, Buff," Xander said, grinning, causing Anya to give him a steely glare.
*******
They�d watched almost half the episode, and the time had passed in silence apart from a few questions from each of them. Buffy side-stepped some of them, not wanting to talk about some of the stuff, such as Spike sleeping with Anya. That was an argument she didn�t need to start right now.
She noticed suddenly that they were coming up to the �bathroom scene�. She realised suddenly that that was what all the people in the chatrooms had been talking about. *No wonder they never actually mentioned it,* she thought bitterly. *It�s bad enough without everyone talking about it.*
"Do you guys wanna skip this bit?" she asked quickly. "Nothing really important happens here. If you�re all getting freaked out we could skip to the bit I wanted you to see."
"No," Anya said adamantly, while munching the popcorn she had nicked from the kitchen. "I wanna watch it."
"I thought you didn�t agree with it. I thought it was dangerous."
"Yeah, well you�ve already watched it, so us seeing it can�t do any more damage, right?" Buffy shook her head in despair at the girl, and then remembered what they were about to watch. Not wanting to be there when they saw it, she said, "I�m just going to get myself a drink."
She raced out of the room as fast as she could, and then lent against the counter, waiting for the explosion. She tried not to cry when she thought about what she�d seen. He�d never do that to her though, would he?
"BASTARD!"
Xander�s cry carried through to the kitchen, and Buffy braced herself. A moment later he came storming towards her, Willow on his heels.
"I thought you said you and Spike were happy! I thought you said he wouldn�t hurt you! Is that the sort of thing that�s been going on between you two?"
"No, that�s just..."
"Buffy," Willow said slowly, "I know you love him, but if he�s going to do stuff like that, do you think it�s wise to be with him?"
"He�s not going to do that. I told you guys, everything�s different now! That�s not gonna happen."
"Then how come you came in here to avoid watching it?" Xander said accusingly. "And how come you�re shaking right now."
"I�m not shaking," Buffy said, but it wasn�t true. She hadn�t realised it before that moment, but she was trembling all over, and there were tears in her eyes. "I just... I�m a bit upset at the moment. Who wouldn�t be? But it doesn�t matter. He�d never do anything to hurt me."
"But he obviously would!" Xander yelled. "That son of a bitch." He turned and headed towards the door. "I�m gonna make sure he never can."
"Don�t." Buffy said it so quietly she barely heard it herself. He did though, and turned back to look at her. His eyes widened as if he was seeing her for the first time. She was bent over, leaning on the worktop for support. Tears were silently rolling down her face now, and she was trembling. He didn�t see all that, however. All he saw was her eyes, wide and sorrowful, begging him to listen to her. "Please don�t."
He nodded, trying to calm himself down. If Buffy was that desperate to stop him... he�d stop. After an awkward moment of silence, Buffy said, "We really should go back in. You haven�t seen what I needed you to yet."
She walked shakily back to the living room, Xander and Willow following slowly behind. When she got back to the couch, Anya gave her a big grin, not seeming to have heard what was going on in the kitchen. "You missed some excitement! That Warren guy attacked this other guy and was super strong. Then Xander came to the rescue and got beaten up a bit. He was alright though. Then he came home and found you on the bathroom floor, and tried to go get Spike, but you wouldn�t let him. Now you�re researching some of Warren�s files. It�s very good TV. Like a soap opera, only more realistic!"
Buffy smiled and pretended to be interested. Sometimes she wished she could be Anya. Just happily plodding along, not noticing what was going on around her. Must be nice.
She turned back to the TV and registered that it was once again showing Spike storming around his crypt. She wondered what he was doing now. Probably drinking himself under the table. Either that or fighting a bunch of demons to get it out of his system. She�d go and see him tomorrow, when he�d calmed down or sobered up, whichever it was. For one thing she�d have to explain to him that their private TV viewings probably wouldn�t be private any more. It seemed that Anya would definitely be tagging along.
*******
Buffy took a deep breath as she saw Spike leaving on his motorbike. *This is it,* she thought. *Showtime.*
"Okay," she said to her friends. "Just remember that it�s very unlikely this will happen. I just had to show it to you all so that we can guarantee it never happens, okay?"
Everyone nodded, and carried on watching. Although they didn�t want to admit it, both Willow and Xander had got as into the show as Anya had. They didn�t know what Buffy wanted them to see, but they were both glad she was showing them. Apart from anything else, it was fun being able to see what the others were doing.
<"You think you can just do that to me? You think I�d let you get away with that? Think again.">
Buffy cringed and looked away as Warren fired wildly into the air.
<"Your shirt.">
"Tara!"
Buffy looked over at Willow, who was staring wild-eyed at the screen, tears already falling down her cheeks.
"Oh my God. Tara!"
The scene cut to show Buffy lying on the ground with a wound on her shoulder bleeding profusely.
"Buffy," Xander said quietly, also staring at the screen. Anya stopped eating popcorn then.
"Xander!" she said. "Xander! Is he okay? He�s not shot too, is he?"
"Shut up, Anya!" Willow screeched, crying as the screen showed her again, cradling Tara�s dead body in her arms. Then the TV Willow threw her head back, her eyes black with dark magic. The screen faded to black, and Buffy shakily reached forward and turned it off.
"I�m sorry guys," she said quietly. "I�m sorry, but I had to show you. I had to make sure it never happened."
"It won�t," Willow said, her voice trembling as she got to her feet. "I�ll make sure of it. I can�t ever see Tara again. If I do then she�ll die!"
"No!" Buffy said. "It�s not like that. All the stuff we�ve seen hasn�t happened. I just wanted to be sure."
"Well, now you can. I won�t see her again. That�ll make it sure. And what about my eyes at the end? I went all dark magicky. I... that can�t happen. Tara left me because of that. It can�t happen. It can�t." Willow started shaking her head, tears spilling onto the floor. "I�m sorry. I can�t, I can�t do this right now." She started to run, and before Buffy could stop her she had disappeared up the stairs.
"Willow!"
Buffy started after her, but Xander grabbed her arm. "Leave her, Buffy. She�s just seen the person she loves the most die. I don�t think she wants you there telling her it wasn�t real."
"But..."
"What were you thinking, Buff? Why did you show her that?"
"I wanted to be sure..."
"So you keep saying. Why didn�t you just tell us? Saved her having to watch that? And, now I come to think of it, I didn�t particularly enjoy watching you almost get raped by a monster I hate the guts of, then being told that it doesn�t matter. Well, next time you want to ruin some people�s feelings, leave me out. Come on, Anya."
He grabbed Anya�s arm and pulled her towards the door.
"Xander, wait!"
He stopped and turned to face her, waiting for her to sat whatever she was going to in her defence. But she couldn�t think of anything. After a moment he opened the door and left, leaving Buffy all alone. She sank down onto the couch, yet more tears forming in her eyes.
*Way to go, Buffy,* she thought bitterly. *That really worked out well.*
Buffy was woken up early the next morning when the phone rang. Groaning, she crawled out of bed to answer it. She hadn�t gone to sleep until very late the night before, and she wasn�t very grateful about being woken up at 4 in the morning.
"What?"
She was shocked to hear Xander�s frantic voice at the other end of the line.
"Buffy, they�ve got her."
"What? Who�s got who?"
"Anya. You know those Mohra demons you supposedly killed a few weeks ago?"
"Yeah."
"Well, they�re back in full force. About 5 of them broke into here a minute ago. They took Anya."
Buffy paused for a moment, taking a deep breath and leaning back against the wall. She�d almost forgotten about those things. She�d thought they were gone, and with all the other bits of excitement she�d had since she�d almost completely forgotten about them.
She could hear Xander�s heavy breathing at the other end of the line, and realised he was still waiting for a response. After another moment, she said, "I�ll be right over."
*******
10 minutes later, Buffy and Willow were in Xander�s living room, trying to make sense of what had happened.
"And they didn�t try to come after you at all?"
Xander shook his head. "No. They came in and grabbed her, and when I tried to intervene they just threw me aside."
"They? How many�s they?"
"At least 5. Possibly more. And I doubt all of them came."
Buffy turned to Willow, who was standing by the window, looking out at the street below. "Did you see anything when you were researching these things that would point towards them taking Anya?"
"What?" Willow, jumped and tried to understand what Buffy had said. "Um, no. At least, I don�t think so. I�m... not sure."
Buffy was about to say something about how she should get sure, but then noticed Willow�s red eyes, and decided to drop it. "Okay. It doesn�t matter." Instead she said to Xander, "Have you told anyone else that she�s missing? The police?"
"And say what? That a pack of demons kidnapped her?"
"No, I just mean that Anya�s not particularly special, from a demon�s point of view. They might have taken others as well. Which means the police will probably have had a lot of unexplained disappearances recently."
Xander nodded, then quickly went to turn on the TV, and, after a few minutes, the article they had been wanting to hear came on.
"Soon after the Californian Police have stated they have made unbelievable progress with Missing Persons claims, there was been a record number of disappearances last night. Several people, all from the Sunnydale area, disappeared from their own homes. These people, including convicts Warren Meers and Jonathon Levinson, Doublemeat Palace manager Manny Hudson, and students Katrina Silber and Tara Maclay, have no connections or reasons why they would have all disappeared on the same night, but all their places of residence showed signs of a disturbance."
"Tara?" Willow said in a weak voice. "They got Tara too." She sunk into a chair next to Xander, her face white. "We have to do something about this. Now."
"But we don�t even know why they took these people."
Willow frowned, deep in thought. "There was something about a sacred death needed to start this End of Days thing. Maybe that�s why they need them."
"But that doesn�t make sense," Xander said. "There�s nothing sacred about these people. They�re completely random. Like the newsreader said, there�s no connection."
"Wait a minute," Buffy said slowly, things starting to come together in her head. "These names are familiar. Katrina Silbur. She�s the girl Warren killed." When everyone looked at her, she added, "Not really. On the video. But I caught him before he got the chance. And Manny Hudson... he was killed by Wig Lady, but I killed her before she got the chance as well. And Tara... Tara was shot by Warren, but I put him in jail, so the events that led up to her death never happened either. These are all people I�ve saved."
"No Buffy," Willow said, as though she was understanding for the first time. "These are all people who should�ve died. That�s what the connection is, and that�s why they�re special. They�ve basically cheated death."
"But Anya," Xander said, very pale. "She didn�t die in the video. And neither did Warren or Jonathon, so why would they be taken?"
"I don�t know," Buffy said, thinking hard. "I haven�t seen any episodes where they should�ve died, and if I haven�t seen it , it wouldn�t affect it, right?" After thinking hard for a moment, she said, "I�ve got an idea."
*******
"I don�t know about this Buffy," Willow warned. "You don�t wanna end up messing things up more."
"But it could help us solve this thing." Buffy quickly clicked the link on the screen in front of her, and grinned as the Buffy Database loaded in front of her eyes. "I knew one of these must exist somewhere on here. There�s everything else, so why not?"
She typed "Warren Meers" into the search box, and waited for it to load. "Here we go. Warren Meers." She scrolled down the page to the bottom, where she wasn�t surprised to see it said how he died. "Killed in Villains by Dark Willow."
Willow went pale. "I killed someone?"
"But you didn�t," Buffy said quickly. "That�s why he counts." She thought for a moment, then said, "Warren never shot Tara, so you never went all dark magicky, right? And if you killed him as Dark Willow in Villains, which is the episode after the one we watched, then that means he�s not going to die that way now."
"But what about Anya?"
"Lemme look." Buffy typed Anya Jenkins into the search bar, and a moment later, the results loaded. Buffy scrolled to the bottom. "Killed by a bringer in Chosen while saving Andrew�s life. Oh God, I�m sorry Xander!"
"No, it doesn�t matter," he said, shaking his head, and avoiding her eyes. "�cause you obviously saved her somehow, or she wouldn�t have been taken. Which episode�s Chosen? And who�s Andrew?"
"I don�t know. I�ve never seen that title before. Oh! But I know who Andrew is. He�s one of the Trio. I put him in jail with the other two."
"So I�m guessing that for whatever reason that�ll mean that he won�t be there for Anya to save when the time comes," Xander said slowly, staring intently at the screen. "That means it�s snowballing."
"What do you mean?"
"You only directly saved a couple of people, right?" Buffy nodded, wondering what he was getting at. "Well, because you�ve saved those people, you�ve indirectly saved other people. And because you�ve saved those people, other people don�t die either. It just keeps on going."
"But... that�s a good thing, right?"
"Well, obviously not Buffy," Willow said, "or these demons wouldn�t be after them."
Xander turned on Buffy then, staring down at her, his face flushed with anger. "I�m telling you now, if Anya dies because of this I�ll never forgive you."
"She would�ve died anyway!" Buffy yelled before she could stop herself. "At least this way she has a fighting chance!"
"But at what cost? Did you even think of that before you started having your little video fest with your rapist boyfriend?"
"Oh, don�t you start on Spike again! It�s not as if you haven�t done some less than wholesome things on the tapes."
"Guys..." Willow said tentatively, her arms trying to come up between the two of them.
"Like what, Buff? What have I done that�s as bad as what Spike did?"
"You left Anya at the alter! And don�t forget that you yourself tried to rape me once!"
"Guys!" Willow tried again, but nobody was listening to her.
"Don�t bring that back up! That was 5 years ago, and I was possessed. It wasn�t like I could help it."
"Guys, stop!"
They both jumped, as if they had forgotten Willow was there, then turned to look at her, looking sheepish.
"Guys, I know you�re both upset, but fighting isn�t helping. Xander, I know Anya�s been taken, but Tara has too. You�ve got to calm down. And Buffy, Xander�s just angry about what he saw Spike do. You can�t blame him for being concerned about you." She took a deep breath, looking at each of them in turn. "But we don�t have time for that right now. Tara and Anya are in danger, and we don�t even know where."
"I do," Buffy said, pushing aside all her anger to take her role as leader. "You said this end of days thing was gonna end the world, right?" Willow nodded, and she continued. "Well, there�s only one place an apocalypse can go down."
Willow�s eyes widened in recognition. "The Hellmouth."
"Right. So I figure I go to the high school ruins, look around, see what�s going on down there and how much time we have left."
"You can�t do that Buffy," Xander said.
"Why not?"
"Well, for one thing, the high school ruins aren�t even there any more. I told you ages ago, Buff. They�ve started work building a new one on the site. I�ve applied for a job, remember?"
"Oh, right. Well, then I�ll go down to the site, and see if I can still find the spot. It�s a Sunday, so there won�t be anyone there, right?"
"Right." Willow nodded, and then said, "Do you want me to see if I can find out anything else about this end of days? I know we researched it to death before, but maybe we missed something."
"Yeah. Don�t just stick with the end of days though. Look up anything to do with the Hellmouth, or changed time-lines, or interdimensional passages or things involving people who cheated death. There�s sure to be something. Get Dawn to help. Just don�t tell her they�ve got Tara and Anya. I need her focused if she�s going to be any use."
Buffy turned and started to walk towards the door, only to be stopped by Xander. "You�re not planning on going there by yourself, are you? You don�t know how many of these things there are."
"That�s why I�m not going alone. I�m gonna swing by Spike�s crypt on the way."
"You have got to be kidding me."
"And yet I�m not."
"You can�t trust him."
"But I do. I doesn�t matter what the hell is going on at the moment... he�ll watch my back." And without giving him time to argue it further, she turned and walked out the door, leaving Xander to stare blankly at the spot where she�d been standing. After a moment, Willow shoved a pile of books into his hands.
"Don�t just stand there. Help me research."
Still shaking his head, he made his way to the table and opened the first book. It looked to be about 1000 pages thick, the writing was tiny and as far as he could see, there were no illustrations. *It�s gonna be a long day,* he thought bitterly as he started to read.
*******
Buffy stood outside Spike�s crypt, taking some deep, supposedly calming breaths. In a minute she was going to go in there and tell him what was happening. He throw a few insults at her, and she�d say he was a pig, then they�d go to the Hellmouth and see what was going on down there. No biggie. But if it was no biggie, how come her hands were shaking so much? And how come she was still standing there, instead of going inside?
She shook her head mentally. She was being stupid. It was just Spike. He�d probably just got himself plastered last night and had already forgotten all about it. Trying to steady her hands, she slowly pushed the door open.
"Spike?" There was no reply. She looked tentatively around, hoping he was just lurking in a corner. But she couldn�t see him anywhere. She stepped forward so she was properly inside the crypt, then closed the door behind her.
"Spike?" she said again, this time a little more desperately. She started walking towards the ladder which led down to the underground part, thinking he was just hiding down there. She noticed there were loads of cigarette ends underfoot, meaning he�d done a lot of chain-smoking last night, but there was a noticeable lack of empty bottles, which worried her. If he was as stressed as he had appeared last time she saw him, the Spike she knew would have drunk himself silly so that he could stop thinking about it. And if he hadn�t... what did that mean?
She climbed down the ladder, and started to look around underground. She wandered over to the bed, and wasn�t too surprised to find it was unslept in. She reached forward and gently smoothed down the edge of the covers.
She heard movement behind her and spun round. "Spike!" But it was just a now very surprised rat, scurrying about in search of dinner.
She got more frantic then, searching around for any sign that he was around. His duster lying on a chair, a half drunken bottle of bourbon, his boots tossed carelessly at the foot of the bed. She saw none of this however. There were signs that he had been back, the endless cigarette ends being one, but he obviously hadn�t stayed.
She climbed back up into the entrance, and as she looked around one last time, she saw the fridge door was open. She went across to it, and saw all the bags of blood were missing from inside. This confirmed her fear. He had left. She didn�t know how long for, but she knew he had gone.
She walked towards the door, and her hand brushed against something on the table as she went. She glanced down and saw an envelope, with the word �Buffy� written on it in cursive writing. She picked it up, and felt at once that it wasn�t just a letter inside. It was far too bulky for that. Curiosity almost got the better of her, but after a violent but brief inner struggle, she put it in her pocket. She didn�t have time to look at it now. Her friends were depending on her.
She set of walking again, but stopped at the door and looked back, half expecting Spike to jump out of the shadows and say, "Got ya, Slayer!" But he didn�t. Taking one last deep breath, she slowly turned and left.
*******
"I don�t know why we�ve got to go through all these books," Dawn said grumpily, pulling yet another book from the pile towards her. "You�ve already found loads of stuff about this End of Days thing."
"But we still don�t know how to stop it, Dawnie," Willow said, her nose buried deep in another dusty volume, quickly scanning the page as she spoke. "Sure, we finally know details about what�s going on, but we don�t actually know how to stop it going down."
"Why doesn�t Buffy just kill the things? Won�t that stop it?"
"Well, I guess, temporarily, but I don�t think that�ll cut it. There�ll be some kind of ritual. Just keep looking."
But instead, Dawn slammed the book closed. "I don�t know why I�m even helping. You won�t tell me what�s going on. You and Xander just keep whispering about fragmented timelines and other stuff I don�t understand like I can�t hear you or something. And why isn�t Anya helping anyway? Why should I do all the work?"
Xander struggled to keep his face calm as he thought of an answer. "Dawn, we already told you, she�s working."
Dawn looked around, exasperated. "Working? It�s a Sunday! The Magic Box is shut."
"She�s doing some accounting," Xander replied, thinking quickly. "You know how she is with her money. Won�t trust anyone else with the job."
"Fine," Dawn said, reopening her book with a bang. "But it�s still not fair."
*******
Buffy lay flat on her stomach, looking down into the pit below her. The building work was still in its very early stages, and all that she could see that was done was as big gaping hole which she assumed would be the foundations. That or the basement. She wasn�t too good at this building thing. If they survived she�d have to remind Xander to explain it to her again. One thing was for sure anyway, and that was the fact that the people of Sunnydale always do a crummy job at everything. Even though the foundations were being put in, there were still piles of rubble and small remnants of walls left standing all around the place. This was good for Buffy, as it gave her cover, but it was bad for the reputation of the building company.
Buffy wasn�t really thinking about the building work right then, though. She was concentrating on the mass of demons walking around below her. They all seemed to be Mohra demons, as far as she could tell, and there were hundreds of them. There was no way she could fight them. Not when there were only 4 Scoobies left in Sunnydale, and only two of which had powers. It would be like 1 on 500 combat, which weren�t exactly her favourite odds to play.
So now she was lying there, hoping to find some way to stop them that wouldn�t get her killed. Rescuing the people had seemed the best bet, but she had already spotted the cage where they were being kept, and it was guarded by at least 20 demons. She could probably deal with them, if Willow pitched in with some spells, but by that time the others would have joined in the fight.
The only other thing she could see that was out of the ordinary about the place was a thin crack somewhere to the left of her, near the cage, where she assumed the Hellmouth was. Nothing seemed to be happening to it though.
She waited several more minutes, and was about to give up and leave, when suddenly one of the demons grabbed someone from the cage and pull them towards the crack. After squinting at him for a moment, Buffy realised it was Manny, the man who should have been killed by Wig Lady. She stared in horror as a demon walked towards where he was held, just above the crack, and slowly and carefully slit his throat. Manny screamed and struggled, but that just made the demons laugh more. Then the demon who held him cut his own hand, and pressed it to Manny�s throat, causing their blood to mingle. It didn�t cause the wound to heal, like Buffy had expected it to, just made the blood that steadily dripped into the crack shine with a luminous quality. Buffy waited with baited breath, terrified as she wondered what would happen.
She didn�t need to wait for long. A moment later an earthquake ripped through the ground, causing the piles of rubble around her to start to topple to the ground. Buffy took this as her signal to go. The information she had just gained wouldn�t be much use if she ended up squished under a pile of rubble.
*******
Buffy arrived back at the house an hour later, armed with info about what these demons were up to. It had taken her so long because she had decided to swing by Spike�s crypt on the way back, as though he would have magically reappeared since last time she had been there just a few hours before.
She walked quietly into the dining room, to find all three of the other remaining Scoobies sat there, frantically researching. They were searching so hard none of them even noticed her presence.
"Hi guys," Buffy said wearily, sinking into the chair nearest the door.
"Hi Buffy," Willow said, looking up from her book. The lack of a welcoming smile told Buffy that whatever they had discovered since she had left, it wasn�t good. "Did you find anything?"
"Yeah. We were right about them being at the Hellmouth. I went there and there were hundreds of the things walking around. And by hundreds I mean hundreds. Hundreds of hundreds. Like, army sized hundreds."
"Well, that�s not really a surprise, Buff, after what we found out," Xander said, then waved an arm towards Willow as a way of telling her to explain.
"Yeah," she said, nodding as she pushed a few of the books back into a pile. "We found out what they�re planning on doing. I found reference to a ritual involving the mixing of the blood of �those who live eternal� and �those who live no more� over the fires of hell. It was a spell where vampires mixed their blood with that of their dead victims to make them stronger."
"I saw something like that when I was watching. They killed someone and the demons mixed their blood together and poured it into the Hellmouth. It triggered of this major, localised earthquake. But I don�t see what vampire rituals have to do with Mohra demons."
"Well, it got me thinking, and after what you just said you saw, I was thinking right. What if the ritual was modified somehow? So I searched for blood-mixing rituals and found out some stuff about a prophecy. Where the blood of the �immortal regenerators�, the Mohra demons, and the �ones who live without right�, the people Buffy saved, mixes to bring about the end of the world."
"How, exactly?"
"Umm..." Willow pulled a book from the pile, opened it at a bookmarked page and began to read. "�And the blood will mix and fall into the caverns of hell every 3rd hour, for three is a magical number, and all the hells will rumble as the blood feeds the beast. Every drop spilled will make the immortal regenerators stronger, as the stolen life is drained. On the 18th hour the caverns of hell themselves will open and spill the vampires of old onto the Earth. Darkness will spill from the cavern smothering all in eternal black as the armies of the Old Ones march out to reclaim their Earth.�"
Buffy frowned, confused. She wasn�t any good at understanding this cryptic stuff, even if it was very basic. "So... what does that mean?"
"Basically, every 3 hours, the demons bleed somebody, mix the blood and pour it into the Hellmouth, which makes the demons stronger. After 18 hours the Hellmouth opens, the world becomes dark and the ancient vampires come out and make the Earth theirs again, like it used to be.
"The ancient vampires?" Dawn asked, confused.
"Yeah. The vampires that were around before they mixed their blood with humans. They�re like. . . UberVamps. The vampires that vampires were made from."
Dawn nodded her head, her mouth making a little �oh� shape as she tried to image a vampire that wasn�t part human. She furrowed her brow as she imagined what they must be like. *Woah,* she thought. *And I thought Angel was ugly.*
"So, how do we stop it?" Buffy asked. On seeing their guilty faces, she added, "You have worked that one out, right?"
"Not exactly. It says everywhere I�ve looked that once the ritual is started it�s unstoppable. I have one idea though, but it�s risky."
"Okay, spill."
"No, give me some time to research it a bit more. I don�t like it, but if it�s the only way..."
"Right," Buffy said. She put her hands in her pockets, and was surprised to feel the envelope she�d found at Spike�s there. She�d forgotten about that. Standing up, she said, "I�m just gonna go upstairs, catch a few Zs. If I need to fight these guys, I�m gonna need to keep my strength up."
*******
Buffy flopped down on her bed, then carefully opened the envelope. A single piece of paper fluttered out. Buffy looked at it, hoping to find some explanation about where he�d gone, but all it said was:
Annoyed that it hadn�t explained anything apart from the fact he was planning on coming back, Buffy looked in the envelope, hoping to find more. All she found, however, was a tape. She pulled it out, and looked at it. The words on the side that would have told her the title of the song were so scratched she could only see a few letters, so she apprehensively went and put in her cassette player and pressed play. As it was one of Spike�s tapes, she was expecting it to be heavy rock music or something equally stupid, and was surprised when she heard the sounds of a piano playing as the song started. She didn�t recognise the singers, *Probably some weird British group,* she decided, but went back and sat on her bed to listen anyway.
*Oh great,* Buffy thought. *Just what I need right now, to get even more depressed.*
Buffy started to cry then. The song�s tone was so sad, and all she could see in her mind�s eye was Spike on the video before it happened, trying to tell her he was sorry. And what had she done? Told him to get lost. No wonder he had gone, if she was such a bitch to him.
Another voice came in then, and she thought it was Elton John�s. In fact, now she thought about it, she vaguely recalled hearing a different version of this song long ago, with just him singing it. But that made her remember her Mom playing it in the car the night that Spike had attacked the school during Parent-Teacher night, and that just made her cry harder.
Buffy was curled up in a ball now, crying harder than she could remember doing since Angel had told her he was leaving. She had felt so lost then. And now she was lost once more, another man leaving her, literally, for her own good. So yeah, Buffy was upset. And yeah, Buffy cried. Because crying�s what makes you human, and at that moment, Buffy didn�t feel that at all.
It was a few hours before Buffy came down the stairs again. She didn�t really feel in the Scooby space, and she knew that if she went downstairs she�d have to research ways to stop this thing while Xander glared at her in a way that clearly said he thought this was all her fault. Which it was, but he didn�t have to rub it in.
So Buffy had stayed upstairs, reading and rereading the note Spike had left, hoping it would give her some clue as to where he was that she hadn�t noticed before. But no new words appeared on the page, and eventually she gave up and trailed downstairs.
When she got there she saw Willow rushing about, gathering spell ingredients from the cabinets, debating with Xander all the while.
"I know it�s risky Xand, but can you think of anything better?"
"What�s risky?" Buffy asked, settling herself on one of the chairs.
"This spell she�s planning to do. It�s crazy."
"What spell?"
Willow blushed slightly, not meeting Buffy�s gaze as she continued to gather ingredients.
"Just an idea I had. You know the one I told you about earlier? It�s really the only way to do it..."
"It�s insane, Will," Xander butted in. "You know that as well as I do."
"Yeah, but we always do insane stuff before an apocalypse, and we�ve survived this far."
"Wait," Buffy said, confused. "What�s insane? If you guys are gonna argue, at least tell me what you�re arguing about. What�s the spell?"
Willow stopped gathering ingredients then, and slowly sat down in the chair next to Buffy�s.
"Well, you know there are far too many Mohra demons to fight," she began, fiddling nervously with a piece of some plant Buffy couldn�t identify as she spoke. "Well, I think it�s fair to say they�re unstoppable, �cause even if you killed all of them, there are loads more that can just come to take their place. And these ancient vampires that are gonna come up? Well, there are thousands of them. The whole Hellmouth is full of them. So if they come up we�re pretty much screwed as well."
"What are you trying to say, Will?"
"That we�ve lost this one. There�s no way the four of us can fight all those demons and win. Even if we call Angel, that�ll only add another, what? Six people to the mix? There�s not enough time to get the Watcher�s Council involved and there�s no one else. There�s no way we can win this fight."
"Way to go with the optimism, Will," Buffy said, frowning. "If we�ve already lost, then what�s the deal with this spell?"
"Well, all that stuff got me thinking about what actually caused this."
"What did actually cause this?"
"An inter-dimensional blip around the moment that that modem was sent to me. I�d bet you anything that that modem was meant to be sent to a Willow Rosenberg in another dimensional, and kinda got lost on the way. The chances of something breaking through the dimensional walls like that is one in a billion, and the Mohra demons are no witches. This was something completely accidental that the Powers didn�t spot until it was too late, not something the Mohra demons planned. They just took advantage of the situation."
"And how does this help us?"
"Well, because of that one blip, things in this dimension haven�t happened how they should do. The paths of everyone have veered off course. Only a little bit to start with, but the longer it went on the further away from what actually should be happening it got. There�s a very definite moment when things went wrong, and that�s where I come in. I can make it so that the blip never happened. I can bring time back to that moment so that things play out the way they should have." Willow looked nervously up at Buffy, waiting for her response, but Xander cut in first.
"That�s where I say it�s too risky. There�s no way you�re powerful enough to do this, Will. You could just end up hurting yourself."
"And normally I�d say you were right, but this is different," Willow said adamantly. "It�s not like I�m turning time back to alter things to my liking or whatever. Things have already been altered, and I�m going to fix them. The moment where things veered away from the natural timeline is going to be very distinct, and the spell will be drawn to it naturally. It�ll be as simple as... as trans-breed mutation!"
Buffy nodded slowly. "I�ll have to take your word for it."
Willow frowned. "Oh, right. Anyway, it�ll pull it to that moment, and hopefully the Powers will use that opportunity to put it right, and things�ll carry on as normal."
"Great," Buffy said, then stopped. "What do you mean, hopefully?"
Willow avoided her gaze. "Well, there�s always a chance that it doesn�t get fixed and we�ll be stuck in a loop forever."
"And I go back to the risky again," Xander said, frowning. "You can�t possibly try this."
"You got a better idea?"
When Xander didn�t reply, she smiled. "Good. Then I�m gonna need a few hours to prepare. I need to meditate and someone�s going to have to run and get me some more Lethe�s Bramble. I�m all out."
As they all got to their feet, Xander asked, "After this spell, will things go back exactly as they were on the videos?" Willow nodded. "Then that means Anya�s going to die. Tara too."
"For all we know Anya�s already dead. At least if we do this you�re gonna live at least another year happily, without knowing what�s going to happen to her. And besides, time�s a tricky thing. That�s why prophecies are so vague. She might still survive. You don�t know."
Xander nodded. "Right," he said. "I just wanted to hear it out loud, is all."
Willow nodded, then gathered her ingredients and headed up to her room.
"I�m going to the Magic Box to get the Lethe�s Bramble," Xander said. "You coming, Buffy?"
"No. There�s something I need to do."
*******
A quarter of an hour later, Buffy crept into Spike�s crypt, a video clutched in her hands. The optimist in her made her call out "Spike?" in hope that he had come back, but the realist in her didn�t expect him to answer. He didn�t.
She slowly walked across the room and settled herself in his chair, and then she stared at the box in her hands. It was the last video in the boxset. The idea of Willow�s spell was affecting her more than the others, because she had seen all the tapes. She knew what was in store for them if the spell worked. So, before Willow did it, she wanted to watch the last one, just to see if there would be a happy ending. She knew that she wouldn�t remember any of it once the spell was complete, but she had to know. She had to.
She slipped the video into Spike�s machine, and waited for it to start. A few moments later, she saw the previously begin, and settled down to what she thought was probably the most important TV show she was ever going to watch.
*******
Buffy was surprised to see that the opening credits no longer contained Tara. She knew she shouldn�t have been, but she was almost hoping that it was all a trick, and Tara was fine. She knew better, but it was still good to dream.
Any doubt she had had that Willow could perform this spell right disappeared instantly after watching the teaser. She�d never really thought about how strong Willow had become before watching the tapes. She�d always thought of her as the same girl who�d accidentally started a huge storm just by lighting the barbecue at their beach party, not the girl who could resurrect Slayers and kill huge Gods just by screaming. Her realisation of this fact was both good and bad. Good because she knew that Willow would do the spell right, but bad because she knew just how much damage Willow would do with that power after things returned to normal.
Buffy looked at the screen again and registered that it showed Andrew and Jonathon in jail. She almost felt sorry for them, especially Jonathon. They really weren�t bad guys, just a pair of cute little geeks with fantasies on grandeur and a very evil friend who tried to make them come true. It made her sad that no matter what happened, Jonathon was going to die. She thought back to the time when he had tried to kill himself in the clock tower at school and she�d talked him out of it, and the time he had given her the Class Protector award, and even the time he made himself this James Bond type superhero with a spell. He was a good guy really. He didn�t deserve to die.
And now she was watching Warren in a bar, gloating about how he had killed her. *That bastard,* she thought angrily. *I hope Willow kills him in the most painful way possible when the time comes. He deserves everything he gets after what he did, the evil, murderous rapist.*
*******
<"Did he say when he�d be back?">
<"Spike? No. Only that he could be gone a while.">
Buffy frowned as she saw the screen change to show Spike prowling through what looked like Africa.
*What the hell is he doing there,* she thought incredulously. *And how did he get there so damn fast?*
He entered a dark cave, and flicked his lighter on to reveal cave paintings. Horrible cave paintings of people in pain, blood pouring out of them and skulls lying in the floor. Buffy almost yelled out at the screen for him to stop, that any place with pictures of that on the wall couldn�t be good, but managed to restrain herself. Yelling at the TV was definitely one of the first signs of madness. Only an insane person would do that while watching a TV show.
<"You seek me, vampire?">
<"You do the finger paintings? Nice work.">
<"Answer me.">
<"Yeah, I seek you.">
Once again, Buffy wondered what the hell he was doing there. Why was he seeking a very dangerous looking demon in the middle of nowhere? Something weird was definitely going on.
<"Something about a women. The Slayer.">
*Okay,* Buffy thought. *I know he�s there about me. Still don�t know what he�s actually doing though.*
<"Thinks she's better than me. Ever since I got this bleeding chip in my head, things ain't been right. Everything's gone to hell.">
<"And you want to return to your former self.">
Buffy cringed. She had to ask, didn�t she? Spike had gone to get his chip out. But what had that to do with her? She knew the answer instantly. She�d made him so angry he�d decided he�d do anything to get some payback. Or was it payback? Maybe it was just the fact that he wanted to be something. Either demon or man, but one or the other, not stuck in the middle, like the chip made him. She couldn�t believe he�d go all the way to Africa just to get revenge on her. Apart from anything else, he could hit her anyway, so what was the point?
<"You�d never endure the trials required to grant your request.">
<"Do your worst. But when I win, I want what I came here for. Bitch is gonna see a change.">
*******
Buffy was practically leaning out of her seat as Willow chased Warren through the woods. She was once again reminded of how powerful Willow was. Warren was throwing every trick he knew at her and she was just brushing it off.
And now she had him tied to a tree, ready to do who knows what to him. Not that Buffy cared. He deserved to die.
<"What�s the matter? I thought you wanted to talk.">
<"No.">
<"Okay. I�ll talk.">
Willow opened her hand to reveal a bullet nestled there, the same bullet, Buffy realised, that she had taken from her own chest. She watched as Willow ripped open Warren�s shirt, and positioned the bullet over his heart.
<"Wanna know what a bullet feels like, Warren? A real one?">
Buffy cringed as Willow slowly started to push the bullet through Warren�s chest. *He deserves it,* she reminded herself. But as she saw the look on Warren�s face, she changed her mind. *No one deserves that.*
<"Bored now.">
Buffy gasped as Willow waved her hand, skinning Warren in one quick motion. She didn�t want to look at the horrible skinless body hanging there, but she couldn�t take her eyes off it.
<"One down.">
The body disappeared in a curl of fire, as did Willow, leaving both the Buffy on screen and the Buffy watching feeling very sick indeed.
*Why am I watching this?* Buffy thought. *I wanted to be reassured but it just keeps getting worse. I need to get back anyway. Willow might need me.* But she didn�t move, just sat in the chair, waiting for the next episode to start.
*******
Buffy was curled up now, lightly chewing her thumbnail as she watched herself and Willow fight. She�d never really been a nail chewer, but after watching this episode, now seemed like a really good time to start. She�d never watched something so intense in her life, and now her and Willow were tearing up the Magic Box as they fought. *Anya�s sooo not gonna be happy when this happens,* Buffy thought idly, as Willow hit her so hard she flew through the counter, glass flying everywhere.
<"Buffy, I gotta tell you - I get it now. The Slayer thing really isn't about the violence. It�s about the power. And there�s no one in the world with the power to stop me now.">
<"I�d like to test that theory.">
"Yay! Go Giles!" Buffy said, practically bouncing off her seat. Then she caught herself, realising what she had just done, and, blushing even though no-one else was there, settled back down in the seat.
<"Uh oh, Daddy�s home, I�m in wicked trouble now.">
*******
<"Buffy, what�s happened here?">
<"God. . . I don�t even know where to start.">
Buffy was reminded once again of all the horrible things that were going to happen once Willow did the spell. All this stuff would come true. She knew that the change had basically caused the apocalypse, but she still preferred this timeline a lot better, even if it was a bit... disastrous towards the end.
<"Everything's been so... Dawn's a total klepto, Xander left Anya at the altar and Anya became a demon again. And I - I'm so... I've been sleeping with Spike.">
Buffy waited for Giles� reaction. She didn�t know why it was important to her. He�d left her to sort out her own life, and she�d chosen to sort it out with Spike. Who cares what he thought? She did though, and was incredibly hurt when he started to laugh. It was a little absurd, but there was no need to laugh at what had happened to her. She was sitting there, knowing it was going to be her life soon, and she didn�t find it funny at all.
*******
<"You know, if Spike was here, he�d go back and fight.">
<"Yeah, if he wasn�t too busy trying to rape your sister.">
*Bastard,* Buffy thought, surprised by how angry she was. He couldn�t even keep something like that a secret. He had to tell her little sister, and the only reason he told her was because she was saying Spike was better than him.
<"I don�t believe you. He wouldn�t do that!">
*Good for you, Dawn,* Buffy thought with a slight grin. *At least somebody else sticks up for him.*
She pressed the fast forward button as the screen changed to show Spike being tested. She didn�t want to watch. She hated seeing him in pain like that. Especially if it was all because she was such a bitch to him.
*******
Buffy grinned as Willow collapsed into Xander�s arms, sobbing. Things were working out. Her and Dawn had made up, Willow had been stopped, Giles was back. Maybe she could stand what happened before, now she knew it would work out. Except she wouldn�t remember. But it was still nice to know now. The only loose end now was...
Spike.
Lying dead on the floor.
Except vampires couldn�t lie dead on the floor, could they? She breathed a sigh of relief as Spike moved, slowly getting to his feet.
<"You have endured the required trials.">
<"Bloody right I have. So give me what I want. Make me what I was... so Buffy can get what she deserves.">
<"Very well. I will return your soul.">
Spike screamed, and the screen went black.
*Oh my God,* Buffy thought. *He didn�t go to get his chip out. He went to get his soul. For me. He didn�t think he deserved me so he went to get his soul.*
Tears started rolling down her cheeks as she remembered how badly she had treated him, how badly she was going to treat him, and how he still thought he was the one who didn�t deserve her, instead of the other way around. Suddenly realising something, she rooted in her pocket and pulled out the note Spike had left for her.
She read over the first line, brow furrowed. �Gone on a mission. Will hopefully have a surprise if I return.� Some things hadn�t changed. She would bet anything he had gone to Africa to get his soul for her. *See Xander,* she thought bitterly as she got to her feet. *There�s some good in him after all.*
*******
A small while later, Buffy climbed the stairs in her house to see if everything was ready for the spell. She was met outside Willow�s door by Xander.
"Is everything ready yet?"
Xander nodded. "Yeah. We were just waiting for you."
"Oh." Buffy started to walk inside, but Xander grabbed her shoulder.
"Buffy, wait." She looked at him expectantly, and he continued. "I�m sorry about all the stuff I said before. I didn�t mean to... well, I did mean to, but..." He stopped, and raked his hands through his hair. "I hate to see you hurt, you know? And seeing Spike do that, even if it wasn�t real, and then you picking him over me anyway... it just hurt."
"I didn�t pick him over you. I�d never pick anything over you and Will. But he�s just as important. Not more important, but he matters to me just as much as you guys do."
Xander nodded, as if he�d been expecting her to say that. "Yeah. Listen, I know you won�t remember me saying this, but I know I�m going to be such an ass about you and Spike, and I just want you to know I�m sorry about it, right? I�m really sorry."
Buffy smiled and nodded, and they entered the room together.
Inside, Willow was sitting cross legged on the floor. She looked up when Buffy entered, and smiled at her friend.
"You ready?" When Buffy nodded, she said, "Right then. It�s showtime."
*******
Buffy sat on the carpet, Willow on her left and Xander on her right, the scented smoke from the incense curling up her nose and nearly making her choke. Her eyes were closed tight and she concentrated on her breathing as Willow chanted in Latin. She could sense the power radiating off her friend, and almost wanted to open her eyes to see if she was glowing, but she kept them shut and tried to concentrate.
A few minutes later, Willow�s chanting stopped. Nothing happened. *Great,* Buffy thought. *It didn�t work.*
She opened her eyes, expecting to see Willow sitting there looking disappointed and Xander wearing a look that clearly said �I told you so�, but she didn�t. Instead, she saw a massive flame. There had been a candle in the middle of their circle to start with, but now it was an inferno. She stared at the centre of the flame, transfixed by it as she saw her reflection staring back at her. Suddenly, images started to pop up when her face had been.
Her talking with Xander outside the door.
Her watching the videos in Spike�s crypt.
Her crying on the bed.
Her going into Spike�s crypt to find it empty.
Her arguing in the kitchen with Xander over Spike.
The images flashed past quicker and quicker, and now Buffy could only make out the odd few, the few which matter the most to her.
Arguing with Spike in the graveyard, and her telling him she loved him.
Dancing in the Bronze with Xander watching.
Sleeping with Spike for the first time.
Watching Spike cry when they watched Fool for Love.
Going to LA to ask Angel for help.
Going on the internet with Spike and discovering that their lives were a TV show.
Suddenly the images stopped, and the flame crackled out. Where it had been there was only blackness, and Buffy felt herself falling into it, before she passed out.
"I don�t know why you�re so fussed, luv. I�m as good a company as that friend of yours."
"Whatever, Spike. Lets just do this quickly so you can go home."
Buffy sighed, frustrated. Why did she have to go on the internet with Spike, of all people? Didn�t Willow know what had happened in the Bronze between them the other night? Well, of course she didn�t know, but she could have stayed behind to help, instead of rushing off to college.
She shook her head mentally, then leant forward and typed Mohra Demon into the search box of Willow�s new search engine. A moment later, a list of about 10 websites came up. She clicked the first one, and grinned as the Demon Database loaded.
"Here we go. Mohra Demon. Approx. 6 feet tall, blah, blah, blah. To kill it, smash the jewel on its forehead. There. Easy."
She logged off, and headed towards her weapons chest. "Guess I better go kill this thing."
"Want me to come with, luv?"
"Really don�t."
"What? You worried you�ll give into my fiendish charm again?"
"What?" Buffy spun round to face him, exasperated. "Will you just shut up about that! You�re like a dog with a bone. Just drop it, okay? You can come along, but just... drop it."
Spike paused for a moment, then nodded. Satisfied, Buffy opened her weapons chest, and rummaged around.
"I�m gonna get some swords. What about you, Spike?"
"Battle axe�ll do me fine, luv."
"Fine." She pulled out a battle axe, then noticed something nestled underneath. She pulled it out, and her eyes went wide when she saw what it said on the box.
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 6? What the hell is that all about?"