Buffy hung up the phone, and wandered absent-mindedly back into the living room.
"So, what did she want?"
Buffy jumped.
"I thought I told you to leave, Spike."
"Yeah, well, I didn�t. What did she want?"
Buffy sighed, and flopped down next to him. "She said she found a spell that could help us find the whereabouts of this Mohra demon. She�s gonna be late home, cos she wants to research it a bit more, maybe get some of the ingredients."
"So, we�re gonna be all alone, are we?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively at her.
"Yeah, except for Dawn," Buffy said, hoping he wasn�t about to suggest what she thought he was. "Why?"
"Well, I just thought we could surf the net for a bit."
Buffy stared at him, amazed. Was he actually suggesting they did something that didn�t involve fighting or nakedness. Or both.
"Yeah, all right."
*******
Buffy stared at the search engine in front of her.
"So," she said, "which one shall we look at?"
Spike scanned the list, and then pointed at a link near the bottom.
"This one sounds good. Buffyfics.net."
Buffy clicked it, and watched the site load. "'BuffyFics: The ONLY place for all your fanfiction needs.' What�s that all about?"
Spike scrolled down the page, and then said, "Well, first we gotta pick a category, luv. Shall we have them listed by author, publish date or character?"
"Character," Buffy said decidedly. "I�m not sure what�s going to be there, but there�s no harm in looking, right?"
She clicked the link, and was taken to another list of choices. "Okay, which character do we want them centred around. Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles, Angel, Spike. . ."
"Well, obviously we�re gonna have �em about me, luv." He pulled the mouse away from her, and chose 'Spike Fics.'
When the page loaded, they were faced by yet more choices. Buffy stared at them confusedly. "S/A, Spawn, Spuffy, S/X? Where are we supposed to start?"
"Well, how about at the beginning? Try S/A, whatever that is."
"Okay." Buffy clicked S/A, then quickly chose a story, ignoring the NC-17 warning.
Spike read the story half-heartedly, wondering why he was doing this. It had been fun visiting sites that made fun of Buffy, but reading stories was something different altogether. Then he noticed that the story was about all about him, Angel, Drusilla and Darla. It was set before he came to Sunnydale, and before Angel got a soul.
He was starting to get interested, when Buffy, who was a much faster reader than he was, suddenly burst out laughing.
"What�s so funny?"
Buffy tried to speak, but was laughing so hard it was impossible, so she settled for simply pointing at a line near the bottom of the screen.
Spike found the part she had pointed to, and started to read. A few seconds later, however, he stood up so suddenly his chair flew backwards into the wall.
"HOW DID THEY KNOW ABOUT THAT?!"
"What?!"
Buffy was sure that if Spike could have blushed, he would have resembled a tomato. "I mean. . . what are they on? Me and the poof?! That�s crazy!"
"Yu-huh."
Spike sheepishly went to retrieve his chair, and once he�d brought it back, said quietly, "You know those flashbacks they had in that episode we watched earlier?"
"Yeah."
"You don�t suppose they have any others in any episodes, do they? Not that I have anything to hide, or anything, but..."
"Well, we�ll see when we watch, won�t we." Buffy let out a huge grin. "And if there are, all the more fun for me!"
Buffy clicked back to the list of Spike fics, then looked at the next one. "Spawn?" she said slowly. "Wonder what that�s about."
She clicked the link, and then chose another story called "The Key to My Heart." She read it carefully, unsure of what she might find, then, about halfway down, let out a cry of disgust.
"What is it, pet?"
"This is just sick! These people must have no lives to write about this. I mean, how twisted would they have to be to so much as think this?!"
Spike read the passage out loud.
"'Oh, Spike, I haven�t been entirely honest with you. The thing is, Spike, I love you.'
'Bit? I haven�t been entirely honest with you either. It�s not the Slayer I love. It�s you.'
Spike then stepped forward and captured Dawn�s mouth in a kiss. It was sweet at first, but quickly got more passionate as Spike began to explore Dawn�s throat with his tongue. Dawn clung to him as. . ."
"Okay, that�s enough, Spike. It�s gross enough without you reading it out for the world to hear."
Spike grinned at her, and read a little further down. "Ooh, Slayer, I wouldn�t read the rest of this if I were you."
"Why not?"
"Let�s just say the fic is rated "R" for a reason."
"Oh my god!" Buffy said, as she read the rest of the page. "My sister is pure and innocent! She doesn�t even know about this stuff!"
Spike raised an eyebrow at her.
"Okay, maybe that�s pushing it a little, but people still don�t have to write about it. She�s 15!"
"Okay, I�m thinking we�d better get off this page before you kill someone. We�ll look at something else instead."
They went back to the main page, and chose Spuffy fics. After scanning the list, Spike chose a story called "Kisses."
Buffy read the story description this time, deciding she was sick of reading stuff she really didn�t want to. "'What if Spike hadn't been dreaming in Out of My Mind when he kissed Buffy?'" Buffy looked at Spike. "What�s it talking about? What�s 'Out of My Mind?'"
"Guess it�s an episode."
Buffy thought hard and vaguely recalled that title being on one of the boxes of videos. "I think it was the one we missed the end of. You know, when you attacked me."
"It�s not my fault you�re so ticklish."
"Yeah, well, I don�t remember us kissing. I remember what happened clearly, and we didn�t kiss!"
Buffy watched a look of embarrassment appear on Spike�s face as he reread the summary. He said quickly, "They�re probably just making it up, luv. Like they did with the Spawn stuff."
"Yeah," Buffy said. "Do you think we should watch the episode again, to make sure?"
Buffy loved the look of horror that appeared on Spike�s face when she said that, confirming her thoughts. "I don�t think there�s any point, luv. We might as well just read this."
"Yeah, okay."
*Right, then,* Buffy thought. *The minute he�s gone I�m gonna watch the end of that episode, and see what he�s trying to hide.*
Grinning to herself, she started to read the story.
"'Spike moaned and held her so tightly she couldn't move as he nibbled at her lips, rubbed her mouth with his tongue.' That is gross."
"You didn�t seem to think so the other night at the Bronze," Spike said, grinning.
"Yeah, well, I just wasn�t thinking then," Buffy said quickly, hoping he wouldn�t guess that she had been thinking about it, a lot, since then.
"Listen to this line, Slayer. 'Her final thought before she reached her house was that Spike was a better kisser than Riley.' Now isn�t that interesting?"
"Well, it�s not hard. Kissing Riley�s like kissing a piece of cardboard, only worse. Don�t think it�s some big achievement to be better than him, cos it�s not."
Spike smirked at her,
"What?" she asked, confused.
"I notice you didn�t deny it, pet."
Buffy turned scarlet. "Well, it wasn�t true. That went without saying."
"Sure. I believe you, luv."
*******
Buffy read the fic right down to the end. Strange as it was, she was really enjoying reading it, and from the look on Spike�s face, he was too. She half wished this was how it had been, because then she could have shown Riley up. He would have been off with his vampire friends and she could have been secretly seeing Spike. She could picture the look on his face if it had been real and he�d found out. Shame it wasn�t true.
She read the last line of the story, and let out a cry of outrage. "It isn�t finished! I want to know what happens!"
"Isn�t it obvious," Spike said, almost bitterly. "You see the error in your ways and dump me for the soldier boy. That�s how it works, right?"
Buffy couldn�t believe how pissed he sounded. "Well, I think the author was pretty big on us being together, so maybe we gave Riley a long and painful death instead."
Spike smiled slightly then. "Do you think we got to torture him first?"
"After what he did to me? You can count on it!"
Spike grinned at her, then went back to the main page.
"Only one more one to look at," he said, and clicked on S/X.
Looking at the list of fics, he chose one called "Spike vs Xander," by a person called skyz.
Spike read a little way down, then said with glee, "Looks like I get to have a fight with Xander in this one! And I get a shoulder massage from you. The two things I�d most like to have."
"Unfortunately for you, they�re also the two things you�re never gonna get."
Spike read more of the story, as he and Xander prepared to fight.
""Okay," Willow said as she stood at the foot of the coffee table, hands on hips her resolve face firmly in place.
All eyes turned to her.
"Pick up your cans," she ordered." Spike stopped for a moment. "What?"
Buffy, confused, read aloud the next part.
""On three then. One...Two..Three," Willow yelled.
Xander tore the cap off the can of cheese and immediately began devouring it."
Buffy looked over at Spike. "That�s so ridiculous. I can�t believe someone would write about you having a squirty cheese battle with Xander."
"Did I win?"
"What?!"
"Did I beat him?"
Buffy read further down. "Spike fumbled with his own can, before he got the cap off and hesitantly sprayed some into his mouth. His face scrunched up and he gagged.
"What?! I don�t lose, do I?"
"Err, let�s see. "Xander jumped to his feet, the snoopy dance coming forth as he raised his arms above his head.
"I win!!!!!!!!" Looks like you do, Spike."
Spike glared at the computer screen. "As if I�d lose to the whelp! I�d beat him at anything!"
"Even a squirty cheese battle?"
"Especially a squirty cheese battle."
Buffy grinned at him. "Bet you couldn�t beat me!"
"Bet I could!"
"Well, we�ll see!"
Buffy jumped out of her chair, and ran into the kitchen. A few minutes later she returned, looking very disappointed.
"What is it, luv?"
"We�re all out of squirty cheese."
"What do you want some of that for?"
"So we can battle, and I can beat you." She pondered for a moment, an idea coming to her, when she heard Spike say,
"Look, there�s another chapter. I�ll definitely beat him in this one."
Spike clicked on it, then registered the title. "Spike vs Dawn. Damn it!"
He was about to click the back button, when Buffy shoved him out of the way. "Wait, I wanna read this."
She read a little way down, the burst out laughing.
"What is it this time, luv?"
"Oh my god! This story has you doing the Macarena in it!"
"What�s the macarena?"
"You don�t know?" Spike shook his head, confused. "Oh, this is too funny! We have to try this too!"
"What do you mean, we have to try this?! Try what?" But Buffy was already logging off.
"You wait here," she said excitably. "I�ll be back in a minute."
Buffy hurried out into the hall, and quickly dialled the number of the Magic Box.
"Hello, Magic Box."
"Hi Willow."
"Oh, hey Buffy."
"Listen, Will, have you nearly finished that research yet?"
"It depends. Why?"
"Do you want to play a game?"
*******
Buffy went back into the dining room a few minutes later, grinning madly.
Spike marched over to her. "What was that all about?"
Buffy just grabbed his arm and dragged him into the living room. "Stand there," she said, and pushed him into the centre of the room. She then ran over to the CD player, grabbed a CD, and put it in.
Spike stared at her confused, until the music started blasting out.
# . . .Come and find me, my name is Macarena, always at the party, con las chicas que soy buena, come join me, dance with me. . .#
"No! No! NOOOOO!"
"Oh, come on, Spike. It�ll be fun!"
"I am NOT dancing!"
"Sure you are. It�s easy! Look."
Buffy then proceeded to teach Spike how to dance the Macarena.
"Okay, now you wiggle, jump to face to your right, and clap. And then you start all over again."
"Isn�t it kinda pointless, luv?"
"Yeah, but it�s fun. Go on, try it."
Spike didn�t really see the point in trying to argue with her. She had that look on her face that told him he�d end up as dust if he did, so he started to dance, trying to look as evil as possible in the process.
"Okay, good. Now you wiggle. . ."
"No way!"
"Wiggle!"
"No!"
"Wiggle, or I�ll make you!"
"How are you gonna do that, luv?"
Buffy strode forward, placed one hand on either side of his hips, and made him wiggle.
"There! Now you just repeat it."
"Only if you do it too."
"Fine then!"
Buffy went and stood next to Spike, and started to dance with him. She could tell just by watching him that he was trying to make himself look as 'evil' as he could, but the fact was the eviller he tried to look, the funnier he became. Buffy was starting to enjoy herself, but she noticed Spike still wasn�t wiggling.
"Spike, you have to WIGGLE!"
"I told you, pet. I�m not doing that part!"
Buffy stepped forward once more, and started to make him wiggle. He was starting to get into it when...
"What the hell is going on here?!"
Buffy jumped round to see Xander standing in the doorway, eyes wide.
"Me and Spike were just doing the Macarena."
"And in what world is any part of that sentence not wrong?"
"Awww, come on Xander, it�s fun."
"Dancing with Spike is fun?"
Spike stepped towards Xander. "Hey, it�s not fun for me. She made me do this."
Buffy spun Spike round, forcefully. "What do you mean, it�s not fun for you?!"
Suddenly, Willow came in though the door, waving a supermarket bag in the air.
"I got them!" she said happily.
"Got what?" Xander asked suspiciously.
"The cans of squirty cheese. Buffy said something about a game..."
"Yeah," Buffy said, striding forwards purposefully, and taking the bag off her. "It�s a squirty cheese race, and we�re all gonna play. We each get one can of squirty cheese, and we have to eat it as fast as we can. The loser has to pay for the cheese."
"What about the winner?" Spike asked.
"They get the honour of being the winner."
"This is really dumb," Xander said.
"Scared I�ll beat ya, whelp?" Spike said.
"Scared? Me? No way." Xander reached for the cheese, and held it at the ready. Everyone else followed suit and waited.
"Okay," Buffy said. "3, 2, 1, GO!"
They all started to squirt the cheese into their mouths. After only a few seconds both Buffy and Willow started to gag, but Spike and Xander kept going.
As the girls gave up, the guys continued to devour the cheese as fast as they could. Xander was squirting frantically, but Spike finished first.
"Ha! Take that, Xander!" Spike said, gleefully.
"It was only a game," Xander said bitterly.
"Just cos you lost! Can�t take the fact that you were beaten by a vampire!"
"It was stupid!"
"Yeah? You wouldn�t have thought it was stupid if you�d have won, would you Harris? Huh?"
Buffy just laughed. "How can you guys eat that stuff?"
"No tastebuds," Spike said.
"See, you cheated!" Xander said, cheese spraying from his mouth as he spoke.
"I did not! Spike yelled back, spraying even more cheese. "There was no rule saying you had to be able to taste the stuff!"
"Say it, don�t spray it."
"Hey, hey!" Buffy ran between the two of them. "It was a cheese squirting contest. Nothing big."
"I still won, though."
"Zip it, Spike!"
"But. . ."
"Zip!"
Spike strode into Buffy�s living room, coat billowing out behind him.
"Slayer? You ready to do some more "research"?"
Buffy came storming in from the kitchen, stake raised high.
"Slayer?"
"I�m done."
"Buffy? What�s wrong? Is this about the cheese stains on the carpet? Cos I said I was sorry, luv."
Buffy advanced on Spike, her face set. "Spike, you�re a killer. And I should�ve done this years ago."
Spike started to look slightly scared now. As he backed away from her, he said nervously, "Ha, ha, ha. Good one, luv."
But Buffy kept on approaching, until she had backed him into a corner. She drew her stake back, and lunged it at his chest.
Spike winced, but Buffy stopped the stake just before it touched him. Then, she pulled his head down and kissed him as passionately as she could, dropping her stake in the process. Just as Spike was getting into it, she pulled back, looking at him in horror, her hand covering her mouth.
"What�s wrong, pet. If I remember right, you were the one who kissed me."
But Buffy just ignored him. She dropped her hand again, and walked forward, pushing herself up against him as he stared at her in disbelief.
"Spike, I want you."
There was something far too familiar about this, but Spike couldn�t quite put his finger on it.
Buffy giggled, and put on a very deep, very bad British accent. "Buffy, I love you. God, I love you so much."
"Hey, wait a minute. . ."
Buffy giggled again, and walked slowly away from Spike. "Didn�t you like it, Spike? I thought it was your ultimate dream."
"You watched it! I can�t believe you watched it!"
Buffy grinned coyly at him. "Of course I did! You seemed so desperate to stop me seeing it. What else was I supposed to do?"
And with that, Buffy turned on her heel and headed into the dining room.
"Are you coming or what? We don�t have all night, you know."
*******
Buffy stared at the screen, looking at the website in front of her in disbelief.
"'And You Thought YOU Were Obsessed With Buffy the Vampire Slayer?!' The people in this dimension are so weird. I mean who would want to make a website about being obsessed with me. Apart from you, I mean."
Spike scowled at her as she scrolled casually through the links. "What shall we go on?" Buffy paused as she saw one choice about halfway down. "Obsession List. What�s that?"
"A list of obsessions?" Spike guessed, as Buffy clicked the link.
Her eyes went wide as she read the title. "You know you�re obsessed with BtVS when. . ." She looked disgustedly at Spike. "So is this like a list of things people do when they�re obsessed with me? I wonder how many of them you�ve done."
She read the first one out loud. "You whittle wooden stakes."
Spike smirked at her. "Well, I don�t do that, but I know somebody else that does."
"Well, it�s important. I mean, shoddy stakes could cost a slayer her life, and I don�t want to die because of some stupid carpenter�s bad craftmanship."
"You really need to get a hobby, luv."
Buffy pulled a face at him, as he read out the next one. "You kick open doors."
"Hey, it�s a thing!"
"Doors do have handles, pet. You could just use one of them instead."
Buffy blushed. "Well, I think it scares the vamps. It makes me look powerful, you know?"
"Whatever, pet." He scrolled further down the list. "You keep protesting that Buffy is NOT a ditz name."
"Hey! Buffy is NOT a ditz name!!!"
"Okay, then." Spike grinned at her. "You sleep with a stake under your pillow."
"You never know when a vampire could attack."
"Even though they can�t get into your room without you inviting them in first."
Buffy stuck her tongue out at him, but that just made him laugh more. "Great comeback, luv."
Spike continued to read out the list. "You date men whom you meet in dark alleys."
"Not ALL the men I�ve dated hang round in dark alleys."
"Yeah, name one."
Buffy thought hard for a moment. "Okay, shut up."
Before Spike could say another word, she read out the next one. "You think that anyone that listens to Cher or Celine Dion is a demon."
Spike snorted. "Everyone who listens to Cher or Celine Dion IS a demon. I mean, they�re demons, so naturally anyone who likes that horrible chick music is one too."
"Cher and Celine Dion are demons?!"
Spike looked at Buffy as if she was crazy. "Well, yeah. Why do you think Cher keeps having so many face lifts? She�s gotta keep her human face in shape."
He turned back to the computer. "Just in case you lose your voice you sleep with a message board under your pillow."
"Yeah, I don�t want to have to pay another 10 bucks for one. I tell you, that message board was such a rip off. The pen dried up in less than a day."
Spike stared at her.
"What?"
"I thought you keep a stake under your pillow."
"I do."
Spike just shook his head, and carried on reading. "Your favourite day is Tuesday."
"No way! My least favourite day is Tuesday. Bad things always seem to happen on them."
She elbowed him out of the way, and read out the last one on the list. "You're afraid a guy with cheese will haunt you in your dreams." She looked at Spike in disbelief. "Oh my God, how did they know about that? I�ve had nightmares about a bald guy waving pieces of cheese around since I was 8. It�s so creepy."
"Oh my God, me too." Spike said, shocked.
"What? I thought vampires didn�t have dreams."
"Not usually, but ever since I came to Sunnydale I�ve had these dreams about a weird guy with cheese on his head. They wig me out."
"What? The Big Bad�s scared of a guy who wears cheese on is head?!"
Spike suddenly leapt forward and switched off the computer. "Come on, luv. This is boring. Let�s watch some more vids instead."
*******
Buffy snuggled down on the couch, as she watched an episode called Shadow. She frowned slightly as she saw Riley going into her house, uninvited, and walk upstairs. Her frown grew when she saw who else was upstairs.
"Spike!" Spike turned to look at her, sheepishly. "You were in my room?! Uninvited?! Sniffing my sweater?!"
"Hey, it's a thing," Spike said indignantly. "Like I just said, getting to know your enemy's scent. It's a predator thing."
"I don't go around sniffing your underwear."
"Well, that would be sick. It's not your underwear. It's just a sweater."
Buffy studied the sweater carefully. "Oh my God! That's the sweater that I lost last year! I can't believe you stole it!!!"
Spike looked guilty, as Buffy watched Riley shoo him away. As he went out of the door, she noticed his hand fly out into her draw.
"YOU STOLE MY UNDERWEAR?!"
"Like I said, luv. It's a predator thing."
Buffy lay curled up on the couch, her head on Spike�s lap. She glanced at the clock, and was amazed by how much time had gone by. It was almost midnight, but she didn�t feel like stopping yet. Willow and Dawn were both already in bed, and it was strangely comforting to lie there with Spike, even if Spike had tried to kill her many times in the short time they had known each other.
She focused on the TV, watching herself at her birthday party. She smiled softly as she remembered her huge feeling of hope that for once, just once, she�d have a happy birthday. It hadn�t lasted long, once Dawn had broken into the magic box and learned who she really was.
Thinking of Dawn, she watched as she climbed out of her bedroom window and shimmied down the drainpipe, only to end up face to face with Spike. What was strange was that Spike was carrying something, but she couldn�t quite make out what it was.
<"Are you giving Buffy a birthday present?!">
So that was what it was. Buffy couldn�t believe how sweet that was.
"You remembered my birthday?"
"Well, yeah. Like I�d forget it."
Buffy grinned, then suddenly realised how weird it was. She was over the moon because Spike had bought her a birthday present.
Quickly trying to cover it up, she said, "Dawn�s right, you know. Chocolates are a lame present."
*******
Buffy sat up as the new episode started and reach for the video box.
"Okay, so this next episode is called Crush," she said quietly, trying to hide a yawn.
"You tired, luv? Do you wanna stop the tape, watch it tomorrow?"
"No! I wanna watch it now."
Buffy tossed the box back onto the floor, and snuggled back down against Spike. As she watched the episode unfold, she smiled at those happier days, when everything had been so much simpler. No Mom that wasn�t there, no Watcher that decided to leave, no back from the grave pain, and definitely no weird feelings about Spike.
Buffy brought her thoughts back to the TV with an effort, and watched Harmony trying to seduce Spike.
<"Don�t you want to come in and� tire me out?">
"Why did you ever go out with such a slut?" Buffy asked, absolutely disgusted with what Harmony was doing.
Spike just ignored her question, and daringly pulled her closer.
<"Well... I don�t know... maybe play a game?">
Buffy leapt up from Spike�s lap as she saw what 'game' they had decided to play.
"You got her to dress up as me?!"
"What makes you think it was meant to be you?"
"The clothes, the stake, the 'I�m gonna slay you'," Buffy started, trailing off as she heard the next line.
<"I'm going to stake you so much with my slaying powers that I have because I'm the chosen. . .">
"And of course there�s that."
*******
Buffy frowned as she watched Dawn come into Spike�s crypt. There was so much that was wrong with her little sister hanging out in the crypt of an evil vampire. Then again, she thought guiltily, there was so much wrong with a Slayer snuggled up with an evil vampire, watching TV.
She watched in disgust as Spike lit a cigarette.
"Oh my God! You smoked in front of Dawn? Do you know what a bad influence that could of had on her?!"
Spike looked sceptical. "Luv, do you really think me smoking in front of Dawn is a bad influence?" When Buffy frowned at him he added, "Cos your right, o� course. I mean, me smoking in front of her could possibly be the worst thing I�ve ever done when she�s around. I�ve never attacked someone, or drank blood, or told her terrible stories of things that I did before I got chipped. Yep, you�re right. Me smoking in front of her is terrible!"
Buffy hit him playfully on the arm, and pulled a really pouty face. "Don�t be mean. I just meant..."
"I know what you meant, luv. I was just joking. And if you hit me again, I�ll be forced to tickle you."
<"I feel safe with you.">
Buffy burst out laughing when she saw his reaction to that. "Aw, poor Spikie. Did Dawnie hurt your precious baddie feelings?"
"Shut up."
*******
Buffy had watched almost half the episode now, and she felt almost sorry for Spike over they way she had treated him. If he�d treated her like that she�d have probably staked him there and then. Now she watched Spike and Drusilla patrol the Bronze, and it made her sick to her stomach when she realised what he was going to do there.
She glanced sideways at Spike and saw his guilty face as he and Dru climbed the stairs to the balcony. She then watched in horror as Dru approached one couple, snapped the neck of the girl, and tossed her casually to Spike.
"Um, I need to. . . um, get a drink," Spike said hurriedly, and quickly but carefully moved Buffy away from him and walked into the kitchen.
That made Buffy feel even more sick. She didn�t know quite why she was so shocked by what she knew was about to happen though. She knew Spike was killer. She guessed she had just forgotten that. Or maybe she had just wanted to forget.
She watched the TV in disbelief as Dru bit the guy, and waited for Spike to bite the girl. And waited. Why wasn�t he biting her? He could, now she was dead. So why wasn�t he? Then she saw the expression on his face. It wasn�t a look of pleasure. It was a look of pain. He was standing there, with every opportunity to revert to his old ways. But he wasn�t taking it. She watched as he closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths, then took a bite. And why had he bitten that girl then? Buffy knew the answer. It was because of her. She had blown him off, made him feel evil, so that�s what he had decided to be.
Spike edged back into the room, looking guilty, and sat back down on the other end of the couch from Buffy.
"Oh my god," she whispered, looking at Spike wide-eyed, as though seeing him for the first time.
"Look, Slayer, I�m sorry, okay."
"You�re sorry?" Buffy asked in disbelief. She had never realised it before, but did normal vampires say sorry? Did they? Yet she�d heard one particular vampire say it so many times it was unbelievable.
"I know those words don�t seem to seem to mean much, but I mean it. Look, I was confused. And I just... "
But Buffy stopped him with a finger carefully placed over his lips.
"Shhh. Don�t worry about it," she said softly. "That look on your face said it all."
Spike looked confused at that, then became even more confused when she proceeded to lean towards him and give him a very sweet kiss on the lips. Then she put her head back onto his lap, and turned to watch the rest of the episode.
"You had a brain transplant, pet?"
"You could say that," she said with a giggle, leaving Spike to ponder what had just happened.
*******
That episode had finished, leaving Buffy feeling very bad about how she had treated Spike, yet she still didn�t want to move. She just wanted to stay there forever. And besides, it wasn�t that late. Well, not for a Slayer, anyway. And definitely not for a vampire.
"Right, luv. I�d better be going."
Buffy sat up suddenly. "Why?"
"Well, it�s late. And you�ll be needing your beauty sleep."
"It�s not that late. And besides, there�s only one more episode on the tape." Spike looked doubtful. "Oh, come on, Spike! It�s not like you�ve got anything better to do!"
Spike looked indignant. "I do too! I have loads of things to do that are better than this!"
"Such as?"
"Fine then. I�ll stay. But just for one more episode. Then I�m going."
Buffy grinned at her victory, then settled back down against Spike�s shoulder.
*******
The episode had nearly finished, and Buffy decided that that was one of the best episodes she had seen so far. The best part had been watching Spike�s oh-so-indignant face when he saw how happy she had been that April had thrown him through a window.
Now she watched herself coming home from fighting April, and look around for her Mom. She let out a little gasp as she saw her Mom lying dead in the background, and watched in horror as the TV version of her spotted her Mom as well.
Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as the episode ended, and Buffy could do nothing but stare at the screen.
"Buffy. . ."
"Put in the next tape," she said quietly, her eyes not moving from the credits as she spoke.
"But. . ."
"PUT IT IN!" she screamed.
Spike carefully ejected the tape, and put in the next one. He did not, however, press play. Instead, he looked at Buffy with concern.
"Are you sure about this, luv?"
"Play it." Spike obliged, and then slowly walked back to the couch as the episode started.
Buffy woke up the next morning, and for a moment wondered about where she was. It was so dark, and she felt like her face was pressed against something soft. She smiled, and breathed in the scent that the soft thing emitted. It was coconutty, and smoky?
With an effort, Buffy raised her head enough to see that the soft thing had been a small, black t-shirt. She looked slowly up, and saw the face of Spike looking sympathetically down at her.
"Morning, luv," he said softly, his voice purring in his throat as he spoke.
Buffy yawned, and tried to remember what had happened the night before. It had been late, really late, and she had been watching those videos with Spike. Then she had watched one particular episode on the tape. An episode which was all about her Mom dying. All she remembered after that was crying. Crying and crying and crying in Spike�s lap, until she had fallen asleep.
She sat up with an effort, and looked about the room. It was obviously daytime, so it was probably a good thing she had shut the curtains the night before, or she would have probably woken up with her head in a pile of dust.
She looked over at the clock, and was relieved to see it was only 7:30. She would have had a lot of explaining to do if Willow or Dawn had come downstairs while she was still asleep in Spike�s lap.
She stood up quickly, and hurried towards the stairs.
"Where�re you going, luv?" Spike asked, sounding slightly hurt.
"I�m just going to get changed, mess my bed up a little. My friends�ll worry if they think I was up all night."
With that, she disappeared up the stairs. She shouldn�t have worried, Spike thought with a laugh. Dawn wouldn�t have noticed, and Willow... Willow had come downstairs half an hour earlier. Apparently, she had wanted to get to the Magic Box early, try out some locating spell to find where the Mohra demon was hiding. Spike had made up some story about how they had been researching until late, and Buffy had fallen asleep on his lap, and that he hadn�t wanted to wake her. She seemed to have bought it, so there wasn�t much point worrying Buffy about it.
Buffy came downstairs five minutes later, fully changed with her hair neatly styled in a bun.
"You look... nice, Slayer."
Buffy gave him a grin. "Thanks."
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, before Buffy said, "You know, we might as well go on the internet again, seen as you can�t leave the house."
"Alright then."
*******
A few minutes later, Buffy and Spike were settled down in front of the computer, each holding breakfast in their hands. Buffy had a plate of pancakes piled a mile high, and Spike had a cup of pig�s blood Buffy kept in the fridge for Spike emergencies.
"So," Buffy said, staring at the search engine in front of her. "Where to today?"
"Well," Spike said with a wicked grin on his face, "you�re always obsessed with how weird all the fans of the show are. Why don�t we go into a chat room and meet some of them?"
"Um, alright then."
After a few minutes, Buffy found a decent looking chat room, and tried to log in.
"What should be out user name?" Buffy asked Spike. When he just shrugged, she turned back to the computer and typed Buffy&Spike into the box. When she had logged in, she sat, and watched the board with interest.
^Spuffy4eva - RileySux? R u there?^
"RileySux?! Who would want to have the username 'RileySux'?"
Spike looked at her with a grin. "I would."
^RileySux - Yeah, I�m here. Did you watch Help last nite?^
^Spuffy4eva - Yeah. Great ep.^
"Help? What�s that?" Spike asked, confused.
"Probably an episode name."
^RileySux - Wot do u think Cassie meant by "She�ll tell u"?^
^Spuffy4eva - Either I luv u or I forgive u. I bet those stupid Americans already no.^
"I like her," Spike said with a grin.
"What, just because she called Americans stupid?!"
"Well, yeah."
Buffy gave him an exasperated look, and went back to reading the conversation, despite the fact she had no idea what they were on about.
^RileySux - Yeah, me 2.^
"Aren�t you going to say something?" Spike asked, looking expectantly at Buffy.
Buffy sighed, and typed in a quick message.
^Buffy&Spike - Hi! Im new here. Wot r u talking about?^
She then waited expectantly for someone to reply.
^RileySux - Last nites ep. Was it great or wot?^
^Buffy&Spike - Yeah. Great.^
^RileySux - U a Spuffy shipper?"^
"A what?!" Buffy looked extremely confused.
"A Spuffy shipper," Spike replied with a grin.
"Thanks for your help," she said sarcastically, before deciding she had a fifty fifty chance of giving the right answer, and typed in yes.
^Spuffy4eva - Wot did u think of the AR?^
^Buffy&Spike - Wot?^
^Spuffy4eva - U no, the bathroom scene. In Seeing Red. Wot u think?^
Buffy turned to Spike. "Why did I let you talk me into going in a chatroom. Now they�re all chatting to me, and I don�t have a clue what they�re talking about."
"Just say you thought it was great, luv."
^Buffy&Spike - Yeah, it was great.^
^Spuffy4eva - Great?! U think it was great?! : O ^
Buffy scowled at Spike. "Thanks a lot. Now they�re all angry with me. I�ve probably just told them that some horrible thing that happened to one of us was great. Now they�re gonna think I�m an unfeeling freak or something, and it�s all your fault."
"Why don�t you just tell them you meant the acting was great, luv?"
"Oh, right. Good idea."
^Buffy&Spike - I meant the acting was great. The AR was horrible.^
^Spuffy4eva - Oh, rite. I no wot u mean. SMG + JM did a great job. But how cud the writers make Spike do that?^
Buffy, deciding she had had enough advice from Spike to last a lifetime, decided just to pretend she knew what they were talking about.
^Buffy&Spike - I no. How cud they?^
"Do what?" Spike asked suddenly. "What did I do?"
"I don�t know. Probably moped over me or something."
^RileySux - R u American? Hav u seen S7 yet.^
^Buffy&Spike - Yep. I�m American.^
^RileySux - Do u no wot Cassie meant by She�ll tell u yet?^
Buffy scowled frustratedly at the screen. "Ugh, these people are so annoying! I can�t tell what they�re on about. And it�s like they speak in some sort of code. I mean, Spuffy? AR? SMG + JM? S7? What the hell are they on about?!"
"Calm down, luv."
"Why? These people are fans of the TV show that�s about us, yet we can�t understand a word they say!"
"I understood some of it."
"Really? Which part?"
Spike gave her a sheepish grin. "None of it. But it�s fun watching your face when you think I know more than you."
"Ugh! You are so annoying!" Buffy said, and swatted him on the arm.
"Hey! Don�t swat me!" Spike said indignantly.
"What are you gonna do about it, bleach boy?"
Spike reached forward, pulled her bun loose, and ruffled her hair until it stuck out in all directions.
"Oh, you are so gonna pay for that!" Buffy grabbed the corner of his computer chair, pulled it round, then shoved it hard, so that it went spinning off round the room, before finally tipping over and throwing Spike onto the floor.
Buffy walked teasingly over to Spike, a huge grin on her face. "That�ll teach you to mess wi. . ." Before Buffy could finish her sentence, Spike grabbed her by the ankle and pulled her over onto the floor.
"What was that for?" Buffy asked, indignantly, as she lay on top of Spike�s crumpled form.
"What, are you afraid I�m gonna. . ." Spike never got to finish his sentence, as Buffy had leapt forcefully forward, pressed her lips full on against his, and started kissing him with all her might. Spike sat there stunned for a second, before kissing her back with just as much passion.
After a moment, Buffy felt Spike�s tongue tentatively brush her bottom lip, begging for entry. Buffy slowly opened her mouth for him, and kissed him with even more passion than before. Her hands went up under his shirt, as his arms wrapped around her back, pushing her closer to him.
Things were getting downright steamy when Spike suddenly pushed Buffy away.
"What�s the matter?" Buffy asked, confused. She had thought that had been what he wanted.
"Lil Bit�s up. She�ll be coming down the stairs any minute. You wouldn�t want her to see anything unsuitable for her young eyes now, would you?"
"Oh." Buffy stood up, and straightened her clothes. "Right."
She stared at him for a long moment, before saying, "To be continued?"
"Always."
Buffy couldn�t stop thinking about what had happened that morning. She was being a good little Slayer, researching, training, being mean to Spike, just like she was supposed to, but she just didn�t feel like it. She couldn�t wait until it was night, when she could 'research' with Spike again, but her friends had to ruin that for her as well.
Apparently, Willow had done the locating spell, and had discovered that the Mohra demon was hiding in an old warehouse on the outskirts of town. Now they all expected her to go down there to kill it. They had all wanted to come too, but Buffy had put her foot down at that. This was something she was going to do alone. Except for Spike. She needed him for backup. Or at least that�s what she said.
There was only one problem. They still didn�t know how to kill it.
"I don�t see why Buffy can�t just stab it," Anya said, as she skimmed her way through the thousandth book. "That�ll kill so many things."
"Anya, you know as well as we do that she can�t." Willow rummaged through the pile of books, and pulled out one of the ones Angel had given them. "Listen. 'They need vast quantities of salt to live, yet are extremely hard to kill, as their blood has regenerative powers, and any serious wounds will only make them stronger. It keeps regenerating its life until the dark future it envisions for the world is upon us. The only way to slay the beast is to bring darkness to the thousand eyes.' If Buffy stabs it, it�ll just get even stronger."
Buffy looked at her in disbelief. "What did you just say, Will."
"Erm, you can�t stab the demon?"
"No, before that."
"Um, you know as well as we do she can�t??"
"No! After that."
Willow thought hard for a second. "Oh! The only way to kill it is to bring darkness to the thousand eyes!"
Xander looked up from the comic he had hidden in one of the books. "Does that mean I don�t have to research any more?"
"Xander, honey," Anya said, smiling, "You haven�t done any researching in days."
"Does that mean I don�t have to pretend to research any more?!"
"Yep."
"Great!" Xander slammed his book shut and threw it back down onto the pile. "I�ll order some pizza!"
"I�ll re-open the shop!"
"I�ll start studying for my English test!"
"I�ll go kill this thing!"
The four Scoobies all stood up and set off in the separate ways. A few seconds later however, they all stopped.
"Err, Willow?" Xander asked tentatively. 'What does "Bring darkness to the thousand eyes' mean exactly?"
Willow looked sheepish. "Erm, Buffy?"
Buffy looked over at the vengeance demon beside her. "Anya?"
As one, they all headed back over to the table, sat down, and started to read once more.
*******
Buffy glanced out of the window to see that the night had crept up on her. "It�s after sunset," she stated sadly. "Spike�ll be here soon. Then I guess I�d better go kill this thing."
"How can you even think of going to kill this thing, Buff?" Xander asked, exasperated. "You don�t know how!"
"Well, I have to bring darkness to the thousand eyes. Maybe this thing has a thousand eyes and you just have to stab them or something."
"Did you see a thousand eyes when it attacked you?"
"No, I saw two. But it could have more hidden somewhere!"
The door banged, and Buffy turned round to see Spike standing in the doorway, an axe in his hands.
"Ready to go, luv?"
Buffy nodded and marched over to the counter to grab her bag of weapons.
"Buffy, you can�t go!"
"I can, and I am. I�m sick of us all spending every second researching one stupid demon! It�s probably not even an apocalypsy demon, just an annoying one! And now it�s gonna be a dead one."
Buffy swept past Xander, and headed towards the door. As she passed her, Willow put her hand on Buffy�s shoulder to stop her.
"Be careful, Buffy."
Buffy smiled slightly. "I will." She then turned and walked through the doorway.
"Let�s go, Spike."
*******
Buffy crept into the warehouse, with Spike close behind her. "Remember Spike," she whispered, "don�t injure it. Just hurt its eyes."
"For the fifty-millionth time, I�ve got it," Spike said, not bothering to keep his voice down.
"Shhh!" Buffy reached a fork in the corridor of boxes, and turned to Spike. "Which way?"
"I don�t know. I�m not psychic!"
"For the last time, keep your voice down!"
"Well, you did ask me a question, luv."
"Shut up!"
"Hey, you�re the one who�s making the noise now."
"Grrr. You�re so annoying!"
"Are you growling, pet? You�ve been hanging around me too long."
Buffy slapped Spike on the shoulder, hard. "Stop it!!!"
"Ooh, strike a nerve, did I, Slayer?"
"God! You are such a pain! Why do I put up with this?"
"Hey, no-one�s making you, pet. You can leave at any time!"
"Why do you do this? The demon�s gonna know exactly where we are thanks to the noise you�re making!"
"I�m not the one that�s yelling."
"But you�re the one that started it!"
"No, pet. That was you as well."
"I knew I should�ve got the others to tag along."
Spike grabbed Buffy�s arm, and pulled her around to face him. "Why didn�t you ask them to tag along?"
Buffy blushed and looked down at her shoes. "I�m not sure. I guess I just kinda hoped..." She trailed off, unable to make herself admit what she had been thinking.
"Hoped what, luv?"
When Buffy didn�t reply, he pulled her closer towards him. "Hoped this?" Moving so quick Buffy didn�t know what was happening, he closed the gap between them and kissed her, hard. She gasped, then relaxed into it, forgetting about where she was, and what was there with them. She remembered perfectly clearly a few moments later, however, when she felt a huge force crash into her side, knocking her over.
She landed on her front, the wind knocked out of her. She sensed the demon towering above her, and tried to turn over.
"BUFFY!!!"
She looked up to see the demon standing over her, sword swinging down towards her chest. She was about to roll out of the way when she saw Spike jump out from nowhere and grab the blade, just before it reached her. Pushing as hard as he could, he thrust the hilt of the sword upwards into the face of the Mohra, giving Buffy chance to get up off the floor.
Spike ran to stand beside her, and they looked across at the warrior demon that stood before them. Without warning, Buffy leapt forward and threw a stake straight into the demons eye. It howled in pain, as strangely glowing blood poured from its wound.
"Okay," Buffy said, disgusted as the demon fell to the floor. "That was gross."
"At least it�s dead now. I was getting sick of hearing about this bloody Mohra demon night and day.
"You wanna go and watch some videos?"
Buffy and Spike turned away from the demon and headed off back towards the entrance.
"Leaving so soon, Slayer?"
Buffy jumped, and turned to see the Mohra demon standing behind her, as healthy as when she first saw him.
"How. . ."
"You didn�t think that would kill me, did you now, Slayer?" the demon hissed, as he started to circle her. "There�s no way you can stop me."
"Is that right?" Buffy turned slowly round, her eyes following the Mohra as he walked. As she did she wondered why it hadn�t worked. What was the thousand eyes?
"Even if you kill me, it�s too late to stop the End of Days."
"That�s what they always say," Buffy said cockily, looking him up and down for a weakness. "Always stopped them so far though."
"This one you won�t. It�s already begun. It�s far too late to go back now. Soon destruction will be upon the Earth. And it�ll start with you."
Buffy was starting to get slightly pissed now. "So, are we gonna fight or are you just gonna keep walking around, prophesising doom."
The Mohra laughed a horrible cackling laugh. "I�m not going to kill you, Slayer."
"Too right you won�t."
"You�re vital to the plan. Without you, there can be no End of Days. Like I said, it�s already begun." He glanced over at Spike, and Buffy saw the light reflecting of the jewel on his forehead. "The sacrifice will be made." He turned back to Buffy, and she saw more light shining on his jewel. "The world will end, and there is no way for you to stop it."
Buffy stared at the stone in his forehead, almost hypnotised by the way it glistened in the light. It was almost like thousands of eyes, shining in the dark.
The minute she thought that, Buffy knew what she had to do.
"Even if you kill me," the Mohra said gleefully. "You�re all doomed."
"We�ll see about that!" Buffy threw her stake through the air and straight into the jewel. The jewel smashed, and the demon screamed as light spread from it, engulfing him.
As the sound of his cry faded, Buffy sighed, and turned to Spike. "Let�s go."
*******
They wandered down the street in silence for a while, until they were almost at Buffy�s house.
Then Spike turned suddenly to Buffy and said, "Didn�t it bother you, what that demon said."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, what it said about us all being doomed and all that crap."
Buffy gaped at Spike. "You didn�t believe him, did you? You were a big bad for years and you never knew that demons always say it�s too late to stop their plan when they know they�re going to die?" When Spike shook his head, she laughed. "Oh, you are soo cute!"
"Hey! Take that back!"
"What? No!"
"Yes!"
"Why? What are you gonna do to me if I don�t?"
Buffy saw the lust in his eyes as he looked at her, and she braced herself for a mind-numbing kiss. She was seriously disappointed when he simply turned and started to walk away from her.
"I�ll have to think about that."
"Wait!"
Spike turned to look at her, seemingly anxious to get moving again. "What is it, pet?"
"Do you wanna come inside?" When he looked doubtful, she added, "We could watch some more videos."
"Alright then."
Buffy tiptoed into the house, and looked about. Everything was quiet, so she assumed Dawn had gone to bed. She quietly motioned for Spike to come in, and walked through into the living room. Spike settled down on the couch as she turned on the light and searched about for the video box.
"Aren�t you gonna call Red, luv?"
She stopped her search to look at Spike. "Why?"
"Well, you�ve just been to fight some mega demon. I�m guessing she�ll be fretting about you."
"Oh, right." Buffy stood up, and headed out towards the phone. "Look for the videos while I�m gone, will you?"
She picked up the receiver, and quickly dialled the number of the Magic Box. She let in ring a few hundred times before giving up. Hanging up, she wandered back into the living room.
"That was quick, luv," Spike said as he pushed the video into the machine.
"No answer. Maybe they all gave up on waiting and went to bed. It is pretty late."
She sat herself down on the couch and waited for Spike to start the video. After a moment she said "Come on, Spike! We don�t have all night!"
"I�m coming, Slayer." He pressed play, then scrambled back across the room to sit down next to Buffy. She watched forlornly as the episode started, remembering what had happened in the last episode. Her Mom had died, and she was guessing this episode wasn�t going to be laughs a plenty either.
She fought back the tears as she watched herself prepare for the funeral. She didn�t want to appear weak in front of Spike, and bursting in to tears, again, would definitely make her seem a bit pathetic.
She was relieved when the tape stopped showing her, and instead went to Willow and Xander standing on her front porch. She watched as they dawdled down the path, talking quietly, and bumped into Spike. She let out a little gasp when she saw what Spike was holding. In his hand was a small bunch of flowers.
<"You�ve got be kidding">
< "I�m not going inside">
Buffy look at the screen in disbelief. "They never told me you left flowers."
"Not surprised, luv. Xander probably burnt the things."
<"Joyce was the only one of the lot of you I could stand">
<"And the only one with a daughter you wanted to shag. I�m touched.">
"For the record, luv, I brought them because..."
But Buffy put up a silencing hand as she watched the screen intently.
<"I liked the lady">
Buffy turned to Spike, her eyes brimming with tears. "You really liked my Mom?"
"Course I did, pet. She was always nice to me. Treated me like a person, instead of a thing. And she always made me a cuppa when I was a bit down. A nicer lady you couldn�t meet."
Buffy grinned up at him, even though she still felt a bit unsure. She knew Spike was a damn good actor, and she still wasn�t sure if he was lying. She watched Spike give up, toss the flowers on the floor and storm off. Willow leaned forward and picked them up of the floor, looked at them for a moment, then said something that made Buffy re-assess everything.
<"He didn�t leave a card.">
Her tears now falling freely, she turned to look at Spike once more. "You bought my Mom flowers, and you didn�t even leave a card?"
Spike nodded slowly, looking down at his lap. Buffy leaned forward and gave him a sweet kiss on the lips. She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. "You are so sweet."
*******
Buffy sat snuggled against Spike�s side, as though he could protect her from the images of her mother�s funeral. It was as though she was reliving it, and she almost wanted to fast forward it, skip it all as though it never happened.
"I wish I could�ve been there for you, luv."
"Yeah, well I doubt I would�ve wanted you there. Not then, anyway." She glanced up at Spike, and he caught a glimpse of her tear-streaked face. "I�m glad you�re here now, though. I don�t think I could�ve got through watching this without you."
"We can stop it, if you want."
"No. I have to watch it. I need to."
Buffy pressed herself closer to Spike, and he carefully wrapped his arms around her. She could get through this. She knew she could.
She realised too late what was going to come next. She felt Spike stiffen in shock as he saw Angel come onto the screen.
"You never told me he came," Spike said quietly, sounding hurt.
"I never told anybody. It was too painful to talk about it." Spike nodded silently, but Buffy could sense he didn't quite believe her.
*******
Buffy watched sadly as Dawn lay in Willow and Tara�s dorm room. She had been so wrapped up in her own pain that she hadn�t even noticed that of her sister. And how had that worked out? Dawn had tried to raise her Mom from the dead, and that never ended well. She knew that first-hand. She was still wondering how Dawn had known how to do it in the first place.
She jumped with shock as she saw Willow raise a finger and magically pull a book out of the shelf for Dawn to read.
"I can�t believe her! I can�t believe she helped Dawn raise my Mom! Doesn�t she realise how dangerous that was?"
Spike went stiff, and didn�t reply, but Buffy just assumed that was because he was marvelling at how irresponsible Willow had been. She sure was.
She watched Dawn gather the ingredients at the Magic Box, then go to Joyce�s grave and start to gather dirt.
<"I hope it�s just dirt you�re after. If the spell calls for anything else, you�re into zombie territory, and that�s bad news.">
"What?!" Buffy looked at Spike in disbelief. "Why didn�t you stop her?"
Spike wriggled uncomfortably, and couldn�t look her in the eye as he answered. "I was trying. I wanted to make sure what she was doing was safe first, is all. If she was getting something other than soil, then I would�ve known I�d have to stop her quicker."
Buffy had rarely heard Spike babble before, and that meant he was nervous. Something wasn�t right.
<"I�m not here to tell, Little Bit. I�m here to help.">
"You HELPED her?!"
Spike wriggled even more then, and looked away. "I just, didn�t like you two being so sad. That�s all it was. Look, I�m sorry, but I just thought..."
"Shut up." Buffy pushed herself away from Spike, feeling betrayed. He had helped her little sister perform some really dark magic. She just couldn�t believe it.
******
The episode ended, and Buffy remained at the opposite end of the couch from Spike. He had tried to comfort her at the end of the episode, tried to say something to stop her tears as she watched herself and Dawn fight, and then collapse, crying into each others arms, but she had shoved him away. She didn�t want him to comfort her. She didn�t want him to apologise. She just wanted him to go away.
She knew he wasn�t going to go, though. He wanted to see the next episode as much as she did, and besides, there was no way he was going while she was still mad at him.
*******
Buffy stared in disgust as Spike "fought" the BuffyBot on the screen. She knew all about the BuffyBot and what Spike had programmed her for, but it was still gross to watch. Spike couldn�t meet her eyes, and she was glad. She didn�t want to so much as look at that pig.
She was even more disgusted, however, later on when she saw her friends meet the BuffyBot. How could they not tell her apart from that thing? It made her feel sick.
But the worst part was her friends� reactions when they thought she had slept with Spike. They were all feeling varying degrees of shock and disgust, and it hurt Buffy to realise that if they found out about what had almost happened between her and Spike, they would all be just as disgusted with her then.
She felt happier when Xander went to Spike�s crypt to yell at him. It was nice to know that, even after all that had happened, he would still defend her. And she was glad he was defending her from Spike. She felt she needed defending, not just from Spike, but from her own conflicting feelings. She just didn�t know what to think at the moment. Everything was so screwed up. She just wished something would happen, or that there would be as sign, just something to show her what to think, what to do.
*******
She watched sadly as Glory tortured Spike. She had been so sure he would tell Glory everything about Dawn, but instead he had take her beating. He was standing there, bleeding, in serious pain, and he hadn�t breathed a word to her. Not a word.
<"I�ll tell you who the sodding key is.">
Buffy stood up from the couch, staring at the screen in total disbelief now. She had thought he had kept quiet. She had thought he had been brave, been everything a vampire wasn�t supposed to be. Instead, he had told Glory it all, and had lied about it.
"Buffy..."
"Don�t say anything. I don�t want to hear it."
She watched the screen, willing it to show Spike once more. When it finally did, she listened intently, barely daring to breathe.
<"It�s that guy, on TV. What�s his name? On that show, the price show, where they guess what stuff costs.">
"You told her that the Key was Bob Barker?" She said, half laughing, half crying with relief. He hadn�t told her at all. He had lied to her. She didn�t think she had ever felt this relieved before.
"Yeah. He bugs me a bit. Thought it�d be good if she polished him off."
<"Guess what, bitch. I�m not telling you jack. You�re never gonna get your sodding Key.">
Buffy collapsed on the couch, tears now streaming down her face.
"What�s wrong, pet?"
Buffy tried to answer, but a new wave of tears streamed down her face and all she could do was let out a little gasp.
"Look, I�m sorry, luv. I didn�t realise Bob Barker meant so much to you."
"No! I�m not crying about Bob Barker, you idiot," she said between sobs. "I�m crying because you didn�t tell her."
"I don�t get your meaning, luv."
"She tortured you for hours, and all you had to do to make her stop was tell her who the Key was. But you didn�t. And when I went to Glory�s, I went to kill you, because I knew, I knew that you would�ve told her. I was such a bitch to you, and all you did to deserve it was love me." She fell against Spike�s side, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Don�t fuss about it. I didn�t mind. As long as you were happy, I didn�t mind."
"But I wasn�t happy. I treated you like an animal, even after that. I was so horrible to you. And you still put up with it."
*******
Spike had eventually convinced Buffy to calm down, and they had watched the rest of the tape together. To Buffy, it was like she was seeing Spike in a new light as she watched. For the first time, she was seeing just how caring he was towards her and Dawn, and just how much he did for them.
Now they were nearing the end of the last episode on the last tape of this box set, 'The Gift.'
She watched as Spike charged up to the top of the tower. This she didn�t know about. She�d never heard about her friend�s part of what had happened, and she certainly hadn�t heard anything about Spike climbing the tower to help.
She stared intently at the screen as Spike charged at Doc, trying to get him away from Dawn, and let out a scream as he was stabbed in the gut. Expecting him to leave it be then, she was amazed when he spun around, putting himself between the Doc and Dawn.
<"You don�t come near the girl, Doc.">
"You still defended her."
"What was that, luv?"
"He stabbed you, but you still defended her."
"I promised you, luv. I told you I�d protect her to the end of the world. I don�t make promises I don�t mean to keep."
"You used to."
"I don�t to you, though."
<"I don�t smell a soul anywhere on you. Why do you even care?">
Buffy was reminded once again of his lacking in the soul department. He didn�t have a soul, but he still cared. He still defended Dawn. He still loved her.
<"I made a promise to a lady">
He still kept his promise.
Buffy was suddenly hit with a thought, but it wasn�t a very comforting one. If Spike had defended Dawn, where had he been when she had climbed the tower herself? She almost didn�t want to know the answer.
She gasped as Doc tripped Spike, and held him to the edge.
<"I�ll send the lady your regrets.">
"NO!" Buffy screamed as Doc pushed Spike off the edge.
"I�m sorry."
Buffy turned to him, wide eyed.
"What are you sorry for?"
"I broke my promise. I said I�d protect her. But I failed. I should�ve protected her. If I�d done that, you wouldn�t have died. I�m so sorry."
"Don�t be."
Buffy looked into his eyes and felt it. This was it. This was her sign, the thing to tell her what she needed to do. She had been so confused before, but now it was as clear as day. She carefully leaned forwards and kissed Spike gently on the lips.
He pulled back, and looked at her confused. "What are you doing?"
"Making my choice."