| DIARY OF A MADMAN BY CHARK DETWEAK |
| The Response to an Unwritten Question Why Is it that whenever someone has success, others either try to bring those people down or try to give themselves the credit that is not rightfully theirs? No, I am not whining about anyone, nor am I complaining because I am not successful, I am just looking at the world from a purely objective view. FIRST EXAMPLE: Politicians. I know you are all probably sick of my talking about politicians, but let's look at our wonderful president. Good old Georgie, efforting to complete his strategery, surrounds himself with the best and the brightest (namely Colin Powell), and yet he gets all the credit for the momentous things that the other people have done. He doesn't even write his own speeches! SECOND EXAMPLE: Matt Conroy. Granted, this website is a great accomplishment and requires hours and hours of his not-so-precious time, but what has he really done? Sure, he's gotten over 1,200 hits in a year or so, but what does it all accomplish? So far he has ripped on Bill Gates, Dennis Green, The National Honors Society, organized sports, and Bud Selig. Don't get me wrong, I hate all of those above mentioned things, too (except for NHS, considering I am a member). However, I question the grounds that Matt has of ripping on those people while not ripping on himself equally. I demand Matt settle the score! Do you hear me Conroy! Settle the score! Oh, by the way, see if you can upload the Mentos commercial. Am I writing this? Wow! Anyhoo, Conroy is a comedic genius, but he needs to be fair about it. THIRD EXAMPLE: Destination Imagination. As the other outsider on the global competing team, I got to take a look at the organization itself in Knoxville. While it was a lot of fun and I met a lot of cool people there, what is the organization but a couple of people telling kids to dress up in duct tape and garbage bags and run around making people laugh? It's cheap entertainment for people who have nothing better to do than watch kids like Matt Conroy and myself makes fools of ourselves. However, I look forward to having the oppurtunity to be an "appraiser" when I grow up. Those guys got it made with their 16 hour shifts with three 20 minute breaks. Man, what a great job. FOURTH EXAMPLE: me. What am I really doing here? I am just expressing my opinion to people who really don't care about it and think I am just a raving lunatic (which is a grounded opinion). I take credit for all this writing when I actually just do it to waste time. Who deserves credit in this world? The answer is simple. The Jolly Green Giant. That man was brilliant. All he did was hock beans and stand there laughing. After he just sat down and watched the money roll in. Maybe we need to be a bit more like the Jolly Green Giant. When life gets hard, maybe we should just sit down and say "ho ho ho, Green Giant!" Note: I do not mean Mike Kieger when I say Jolly Green Giant. RESPONSE FROM MATT CONROY: Well, Well, Well - the time has finally arrived. I have finally, for the first time, been accused of not being hard enough on myself. Interesting indeed, however, it is unfortunate that Mr. DeTweak (if that is youre real name) had to also attack my pride and joy - this website. As a result, I must respond. The reason I spend countless hours blaming celebrities and certain "Honors Society"s for problems I could easily solve with a little bit of effort is because - it is far far more fun to complain about your problems in new and interesting ways than to go out and fix them. I mean honestly, if you were in my shoes, what would you do? A) Get a girlfriend or B) Spend dozens of hours updating a website that contains no real content and is only hit by a few people each day because you beg them to - the answer should be clear. In addition, I would like to concentrate on a certain statement made by Mr. DeTweak, quoted as follows - "I question the grounds that that Matt has of ripping on those people while not ripping on himself equally." ahem, WHAT?! I certainly hope you had some sort of strange brain seizure and were possessed by Satan when you wrote that because it certainly makes no sense to me. Your attacks on our President George Bush and Destination Imagination are ungrounded and have many holes, however, since I have no great desire to defend either I will let you get away with them. And to the Jolly Green Giant, the marketing character everyone knows was just some advertising executive's pot-influence dream on Christmas Morning. After all, could he be any more blatant of a rip off on a certain other jolly man who sits around alot? I mean, cmon "ho ho ho, green giant" could just as easily be "ho ho ho, Matt Conroy" or "ho ho ho, Black Panthers" - Adding, ho ho ho does not help anything. Besides, everyone knows the Cheerios Honey Bee is the true marketing hero. That guy has attitude! In conclusion, I would like to close with this. My ranting may intimidate some, as does my compulsive complaining about easily fixable problems, however in the end, really, does any of it really matter? I'm Matt Conroy. Reporting. |