Here, I write about movies I've seen and liked(or disliked). Most are in the Horror genre, but now and then I'll check out a more mainstream movie just out of curiousity. So don't be surprised if I throw one of those in just for good measure. Some are newer movies, but I'll be covering plenty of older ones just for the hell of it, something for the other cinemaphiles out there wondering what's worth renting or not. So, without further adieu......
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) Directed by Tobe Hooper.
I waited years to see this having seen the beyond-awful sequels beforehand and mistakenly thinking it'd be just as lame. One sitting was all it took to convince me this movie's a Horror classic and was far ahead of its time back in 1974.Based loosely on the case of real-life grave ghoul, Ed Gein, TTCM managed to come across as bone-chilling and even a bit surreal. Word has it Hollywood is doing a re-make featuring Marilyn Manson on the soundtrack...GROOOAN! If it ain't broke, DON'T FIX IT! This movie does NOT need to be re-made............
Ginger Snaps (2001) starring Katherine Isabelle and Emily Perkins.
This is one of the very rare species of "good" movies to come out of Canada. Yeah, hard to believe, but its true! The tale of two Gothy sisters, Ginger and Brigitte, who enjoy taking photos of each other in convincing mock-up death scenes. They later meet up with a werewolf that's been terrorizing their quiet little neighborhood and when it bites the one sister, Ginger (Katherine Isabelle), the real fun begins. She begins to experience growing pains, just not your average teenage stuff. These would've made Alan Thicke drop a load in his drawers! The FX are kinda hokey and Emily Perkins' acting seemed just a bit forced, this being her first major acting gig, but all in all, not too shabby. It certainly beats the usual dull, Film-Board-of-Canada dreck I'm used to seeing from here. Ginger Snaps was Pretty good, worth checking out......
Resident Evil (2001) starring Milla Jovovich and Michelle Rodriguez.
Having played and loved the video game, I was understandably a bit hesitant about seeing this, as Hollywood doesn't have a good track record for doing decent movie adaptations of popular video games. "Resident Evil", I'm glad to say, is one of the rare exceptions. From start to finish, R.E. wastes no time by boring you to death with trivial preliminaries and plunges headlong into the story which did a really excellent job capturing the eerie essence of the game. The zombies were also really done well, I thought. I liked this so much, I snagged my own copy. Definitely worth owning. Cheers!
Donnie Darko (2001) starring Jake Gylenhaal, Maggie Gylenhaal, Drew Barrymore, Patrick Swayze, etc.
There aren't words enough for me to express how much I loved this movie, but here goes: This rare gem of a picture was the debut of writer/director Richard Kelly and man, what a picture! It was the absolute antithesis of predictable as I was hanging on the edge of my seat for every blessed minute. The story--Teenage manic depressive Donnie Darko (Jake Gylenhaal) lives a seemingly normal existence in a nice, laid-back suburban neighborhood with his loving, liberal family including his older sister (played by his real-life sister, Maggie Gylenhaal) and attends a nice private school. But beneath the veneer of pristine perfection, Donnie suffers from disturbing visions of a guy dressed as a six-foot tall mutant rabbit named Frank (after refusing to take his anti-depressants, of course). One fateful night, Frank calls him from his bed out to the local golf course and by doing so, averts his own death by being crushed by a jet engine that crashes into his bedroom. There, Frank gives him the exact time and date when "the world will end". That being twenty-eight days, six hours, forty-two minutes and twelve seconds. Up until that event, we see Donnie fall in love, vandalize his school, get bullied, out the local self-help guru as a kiddie-porn pervert by burning down his house, discover a book about the philosophy of time travel written by 'Grandma Death', and eventually meets the real Frank after he accidentally kills Donnie's girlfriend Gretchen with his car. All the while being examined by his psychiatrist who tries to unravel the mystery behind his strange behaviour. The story really gets the grey matter reeling and gives the viewer much to reflect on afterward. Good food for thought. Its rare indeed that a film like this escapes the cheese-ridden bowels of an industry pumping out corny romantic comedies and mindless action flicks like there's no tomorrow. If you haven't seen this, do so NOW, you won't regret it.
Wolf (1994) starring Jack Nicholson, Michelle Pfeiffer, James Spader, Christopher Plummer, etc.
I really enjoyed this film,  as I enjoy most films with Jack Nicholson in them (he ROCKED in "The Shining"), but also because the story seemed to flow nicely. Its about a fifty-something publishing house editor who finds new vitality and confidence after being bitten by a wolf. After repeatedly waking up to find himself in strange places often covered in blood, he begins to realize something's amiss and very soon accepts that he's become a werewolf. Later, he dumps his wife when he find her cheating on him with his arch rival (played by James Spader) and hooks up with his publisher's daughter (Michelle Pfeiffer). Eventually he does battle with said rival when he too becomes a werewolf. A great werewolf movie but they really lamed out on the FX make-up. Instead of looking lke werewolves, Nicholson and Spader look more like they're in need of a good shave and a manicure. Oh well, a decent flick all the same... 
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994) starring Kenneth Branagh, Robert DeNiro, Helena Bonham Carter, John Cleese , Aidan Quinn, etc.
This is one of the most under-rated Gothic horror films out there. Both directed by and starring Kenneth Branagh, this is probably the most accurate portrayal of Mrs. Shelley's tale of Victor Frankenstein's quest to conquer death by creating a creature made of various dead body parts and re-animating it. The resulting consequence is his creature fleeing into the woods while very slowly becoming aware of what he is. There, he finds shelter hiding amongst the livestock of a poor peasant. After trying to befriend and being cruelly rejected by the peasant and his family, the creature hunts down his creator and demands he assemble him a bride. When that falls through, Victor hunts the monster into the arctic to undo his mistake. Beautifully shot and acted, it boggles the mind why this movie was so overlooked. Robert DeNiro gives a stirring performance as the monster and is able to effectively evoke sympathy for this poor creature confused and angry about being brought into a world that fears and shuns him. Without a doubt, an excellent film.
Reign of Fire (2002) starring Matthew McConaughey, Christian Bale.
This is one of the most over-looked flicks of last year for some reason. "Reign of Fire" is hands down THE best dragon movie I've seen since "Dragonslayer" and yes, I have seen "Dragonheart" (butt-stankedy speeeew!). I really loved the post-apocalyptic angle with the struggling community of humans holed up in a fortified English castle. Even Matt McConaughey pulls off a decent performance as the leader of a rag-tag group of American marines who've devised a technique for catching and killing the scaley flame-huffers. Truly excellent! I don't know what was up with the critics trashing it. Maybe they were trying to pass themselves off as the next line of Roger Eberts (one of him is plenty enough!)? Forget those pompous turds! This show ROCKED!
Dracula 2000 (2000) starring Jennifer Esposito, Gerard Butler, Danny Masterson, Jeri Ryan, Justine Waddell, and Christopher Plummer
To quote Lady Jane on her prognosis of this movie, "Cheese-poopsy!" and I'll have to whole-heartedly agree. If I were a judge, I'd proclaim this film
"Yes, you are swooning 'cuz this movie SSSUCKS!"
"I don't drink...coffee."
unfit for human viewing and ban Wes Craven from making anymore vampire movies. Oh sure, the FX and locations were impressive, but without a decent story, its all for naught. In this, a group of American thieves bust into the mansion of Professor Van Helsing; who's achieved immortality by leeching off the blood of Dracula (locked up in a huge safe) using real leeches. When the thieves make off with the coffin, Danny Masterson (That 70's Show) pops it open while they fly back to the US and Dracula (Gerard Butler) emerges, making a light snack of them. Next, in New Orleans (groooan!) we see Van Helsing's estranged daughter Mary (Justine Waddell) having visions of said vampyric John Travolta look-alike and then the cheese really starts to fly. In the end we learn that Dracula is actually supposed to be Judas Iscariot and thus the very first vampire...Blaaaah! The dopey dialogue and weak story just kills this whole film and leaves a bad taste NO amount of Count Chocula could disguise. Butt-stankedy at best.
100% Pure Grade A "CHEESE-POOPSY"!
Spreading Ground (2002) starring Dennis Hopper, Leslie Hope, Frederic Forrest, etc.
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA! Whew! Sorry about that. Ok, now that I've caught my breath...HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA...And then the geriatric Irish mobsters...HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! This piece-o-crap is Dennis Hopper's worst movie ever. Too lame for words...BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-Ha-Ha-Haaaaaaaa!
The Mothman Prophecies ( 2001) Starring Richard Gere, Laura Linney, Debra Messing, etc.
Normally, Richard Gere irritates the $#%* out of me, so I initially avoided this like the plague. Until, that is, I heard what it was about. It's a film based on "real life accounts" of the appearance of a strange creature(s) who see all and can foretell the coming of disastrous future events. For no known reason, the Mothman (or Mothmen), calling himself "Indrid Khold"
has chosen to plague the small American town of Point Pleasant, West Virginia with horrific appearances and eerie predictions of disasters to come in the form of phone calls and whispering from drainpipes. The ever-dark and surreal atmosphere intensifies ever the more as the story unfolds, holding the veiwer completely in thrall. To refer to The Mothman Prophecies as 'creepy' would be an understatement. Worth checking out. Cheers!
The Crow 3: Salvation (2000) starring Kirsten Dunst and Eric Mabius, etc.
Although this wasn't quite as pathetic as the second installment, its not really hard to see why this didn't see any theatre time. In yet another transparent bid to cash in on the popularity of the first Crow movie, money-grubbing producers squeezed out yet another and not surprisingly, it fell absolutely short. Not even a big-name star like Kirsten Dunst could save this stinker. The very fact they keep making these awful sequels (not to mention the even worse TV show, which
is thankfully off the air) is blasphemous and disrespectful to the memory of Brandon Lee. Some films simply shouldn't have sequels nor do they need them. The Crow is one of them. Once again Hollywood proves that they just DON'T GET IT.
Return of The Living Dead (1985) starring Linea Quigley, James Karen, Clu Gulager, Don Calfar, etc.
Directed by Dan O' Bannon, this is an unofficial sequel to the George Romero flicks, "Night of The Living Dead" and "Dawn of The Dead". This flick finds a carload of badass punk-rockers along with a couple of their wimpy preppy pals stumbling across a medical supply warehouse run by Freddy and
his uncle. When a bit of Trioxin 245 is accidentally leaked out from a canister in the cellar, it causes a split dog carcass to be re-animated which is subsequently burnt in the crematorium. But when the Trioxin 245 is released into the atmosphere, a passing shower rains it all back down to earth, including a near-by local cemetary, turning its inhabitants into undead brain-munching zombies. One of my favourite scenes was when the big punk dude
came charging down the cellar stairs of the warehouse only to be seized by a well-decomposed feller who gurgles, "More BRAINSsss!" before chomping down on buddy's melon. I also dug on the soundtrack, especially 45 Grave's, "Partytime". More campy than scarey, this film proved to be both entertaining and fun, which is usually NOT what I look for in a Horror flick. Still, I can't help but get a kick out of it. Megacheers!
"Is that a smokey in yer pocket or..."
"Hello? Yeah, I'd like to order some Cops-ala-Carte..."
"MORE BRAINSsss!"
"N-N-Neeed Moisturizer!"
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House Of 1000 Corpses (2003) Starring Sid Haig, Bill Moseley, Karen Black, Sheri Moon, Chris Hardwick, Chad Bannon, Dennis Fimple, Walter Phelan, etc.
This flick is Rob Zombie's directorial debut and is an obvious tip-of-the-hat to the mighty Texas Chainsaw Massacre, only with the intensity (and sometimes camp-) factor turned up a few notches. A group of curious teens out for a road trip stumble across Captain Spaulding's (Sid Haig) serial killer ride. Unable to resist the temptation, they check it out and learn of the legend of insane serial killer, Dr. Satan, who incidentally was supposed to be buried somewhere down the road from Capt. Spaulding's. How convenient! Next we see the ever-curious lot head off to check out Doc Satan's grave site when they come upon a tarty blonde hitch-hiker, Baby Firefly (Sheri Moon). Predictably, they soon begin experiencing car-troubles and are forced to pull over in the middle of a dark country
road. No problem! Baby Firefly's brother owns a tow-truck! SWELL! Soon help arrives and the gang is taken back to the Firefly household to meet the whole famn-damily and to celebrate the approaching Hallow's Eve...and then the real fun begins. After being treated to some kind of twisted burlesque show, the teens are taken prisoner and are given the serial killer experience first-hand. Far be it from me to spoil the ending for you, I will say there's plenty of blood-soaked mayhem to be enjoyed by all you gore-hounds out there. House Of 1000 Corpses, although not quite as creepy as I'd hoped, still came off pretty good and certainly kicks the crap outta most of today's sorry excuses for Horror films. I found this fairly enjoyable and definitely recommend renting or buying it, even if you're NOT a big Rob Zombie fan.
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