THE PERFECT GIFT

 

Now Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! On, Cupid! On Donner and Gustav!

 

… GUSTAV???

 

 

It was a foggy fire station,

Across the bay those clouds rolled forth.

And then, a situation ---

A crisis way up north!

 

Elfbert phoned in frantic,

For Rudolph had the flu.

The Pole was in a panic,

’Cause Kringle’d caught it, too!

 

 

Chief called our young Dalmatian

And his petite apprentice Max.

“I’m cancelling your vacation ---

Christmas needs you, stat!”

 

So they mushed their magic muzzles

And across the sky they sailed with speed.

(They took coach on Continental

To Fairbanks Frostbite Field.)

 

 

They loaded up their luggage

And drove off with an elf.

Then as they pulled in Santa’s village,

“We’re so glad you came to help!”

 

Rudolph’s nose was running,

His light was much too dim.

And as Santa held his tummy,

“I’m afraid it’s really grim.”

 

 

A solution Gus then charted,

“Max can lead your sled!”

So he hooked him to the harness

And strapped a spotlight to his head.

 

“And I can run your route …

Just show me to the sleigh.”

Then Gus donned a big red suit,

And they started on their way.

 

 

They rose through fog, they rose through snow,

Above the clouds they saw the moon.

“This job’s a blast!” and “Ho, Ho, Ho!”

And then they broke a sonic boom.

 

They made their way through Europe,

Dropping gifts at every house.

Then Hudson’s Bay to Huron,

Through sprawling ’burbs and tiny towns.

 

 

Then an awful awkward landing

When they overshot a roof.

Santa’s sleigh was damaged,

And Donner tore a hoof.

 

“We’ll never go with Donner,

And we’ve got no other choice.”

So they grabbed a B-2 bomber

And packed it full of toys.

 

 

“Maxwell Milton Edwards!!!”

Barked that disgruntled young Dalmatian,

“Pick your paws up off the keyboard,

And get back in formation!”

 

So he gave the poem back to the author,

And he put away the toys.

Then they called up Blitzen’s brother

From a farm in Illinois.

 

 

They aimed their sleigh for Allentown,

On GPS that sled was led.

But the autopilot let them down,

And they went to Bethlehem instead.

 

Then Max got all excited

When the reindeer ran a light,

And they very near collided,

As before his eyes flashed half his life.

 

 

Their stick began to shake

As they flew o’er Bedford Falls.

So they pulled off to take a break

And rest their weary paws.

 

For Max had gotten tired,

And he could hardly hold his head.

So his harness he retired

And rode instead in Santa’s sled.

 

 

He hopped into the back

To help with sorting toys,

Like a train with electric track

And a doll that made real noise.

 

And he came across a box

Filled with parts and screws and wires.

Then his knees began to knock

As he read, “Assembly required.”

 

 

When they neared their final town

And the bottom of the sack,

They heard an awful sound

And the clouds turned strange and black.

 

As those hound dogs looked around,

“THIS SKY IS FILLED WITH FLAK!!!”

Then they took a point blank pound,

And out jumped Gus and Max.

 

 

Their frightened faint-hearts fluttered

As the ground raced up with speed,

While Maxwell moaned and muttered,

 “Peace on earth indeed!”

 

Gus finally found the cords

And he opened up their chutes.

Then they floated o’er a fjord

And landed on a roof.

 

 

They disarmed the AA cannons

And rappelled across a wall.

Then they climbed up on a landing

And down the stack Gus crawled.

 

“There’s a fire in the chimney!

I’m aborting my descent!”

Then he grabbed his tri-toned buddy

And stuffed him through a vent.

 

 

As they wandered through the house

The floor beneath them creaked.

Then, “Max!!!  Watch out!!!

They’ve booby-trapped the tree!!!”

 

As he freed him from the lights,

There came a giggling down the hall.

Then to that demon’s dear delight

They tripped on all the balls.

 

 

“We should’ve checked that list

Before we left the Pole.

Should we give this goon a gift,

Or a stocking full of coal?”

 

So they ducked into a closet

And phoned up old St. Nick.

“He’s taken Comet hostage …

Can we give the kid a fist?”

 

 

But Santa had a knack

For children just like this.

“At the bottom of my sack

You’ll find the perfect gift.”

 

When they reached into that pack,

They found a baby pure and prim.

Then gulped both Gus and Max,

 “Christ was born for HIM???”

 

 

I woke up most concerned,

For that rotten kid was me.

But Christ came down to earth

To give his grace for free.

 

For Jesus is my savior

And the Father’s spotless lamb.

He overlooks my bad behavior

And loves me as I am.

 

 

David J Allen
December 25, 2008


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