Some people are soo bossy. I was at the mall the other day, minding my own business. When this guy starts screaming his head off. He kept yelling, " You can't park there!! you can't park there!!" Of course he was yelling this from underneath my minivan. But why this security guard was buying eye liner at the cosmetics counter is anyones guess.
The essential point of this story is NOT why i was driving my minivan through the mall interior but instead why the security guard took a job that gave him so much control and authority, a position that gave him the authority to boss aorund people like me.
This security guard acted as thought he was the Chairman of the Board of Governors of the federal reserve system.
Chris: I hate you like a a dung beetle hating poop. Well maybe not that. Dung beetles don't love poop. they live off it. They don't have brains so they can't think. They are just like poop poop poop and thats not thinking. They just eat it cause its all they can do.they don't always love what they do. When they walk in the desert, that means that they love walking in the hot ass sunlight. and when they get eaten by bigger animals, yea they love that too...
GREG! ITS UNHEALTHY TO ASSUME THAT EVERYBODY's NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU!-Meg
So basically what you're telling me is that since i'm not just a ladies man, but THE ladies man, i need to be especially careful cause every girl is potentially falling in love with me?- Greg
The lyndsay bodily juices when allowed to ferment can be quite unbearable and stubborn.- Greg
Lukes Away message:
Heres a strange one for you, "i'm not here" was what the alligator said when he had to take the 4:00 monorail to everywhere station but because it was late he had to sailboat his pollywagon to dishwasher safe the uncut turkey which could have been a atrocity. anyways, i guess what i'm really saying is that when a fire cools down a squirrel enough to watermelon its stone doorhandel, the rooster lays the egg on the north side of the roof.
You can't beat yummy pizza with a stick.Even a very big stick or a rock for that matter. A huge rock has nothing on pizza. If pizza was a country at war, it would be unstoppable. Which kind of makes you wonder how Italy lost WW2. They must have been really dumb to do that.- Chris
Lindsay your the dumb looking one if i must say, at least i didn't sit on a bee and get stung- Luke
I am SANE...i am the SANEST person alive.-Lindsay
Luke: i get your first born child and 2 gold teeth
Lindsay: You don't win so you don't get my first born child.
Luke: Thats fine cause i didn't want him anyways. i bet it'd be just as dumb as you. you still owe me 2 gold teeth tho.
Lindsay: You kho what. just cause you sed that, i will have the smartest kid ever and bring them to your house and challenge YOUR first born child to a smart contest.
Violence is never the answer, except with cockroaches where it is the only possible response"-shintau
Oh yea so you kno those dinasours that butt heads...yea my brother and i do that all the time.-Greg
One time i immitated my dog for a whole day, if he went outside i went outside, when he sniffed stuff i went around sniffing stuff...-Greg
Greg: do you know if they have garbage day in Highland park?
Lindsay: well i'd assume they have garbage day just like deerfield does...like the day that they
garbage men come and get your garbage...
Greg: no...like its not that..its like one day. like a holiday. and i want to kno so i can go look through peoples garbage.
"hey look a naked man!!"-me *HONK!!!*-my mom
"someday we should do some real hardcore middle of no where totally way far away from any civilization surrounded by more bears than people type camping." -Greg
"It's like throwing a anchor out of a speeding boat. Theres only so much rope before it snaps...and right now there is no more slack. My line is about to snap."-A metaphor by me
"Its like when you are about to fall off a wave runner going way too fast. You either give up and just let go and end up getting hurt. Or you keep holding on trying to get back on. Staying close to the driver. You should WANT to be close to the driver. I'm the driver."-A metaphor by me
ITs like a fax machince, you can keep putting things in it but if you don't put a cover page on it, no one knows where its coming from...and thats why theres a memory button..yea"-Night of the Roxbury
You can't take away our dreams... yea cause, we are sleeping when we have them..."-Night or the Roxbury
"You are the octupus of the family, that means that you have 8 testicles" -My 5 yr old cousin
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