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| February 23rd, 2001, I'm sooo pissed at everybody right now. I feel like closing my eyes, turning up some heavy metal music and thrashing around until I pass OUT.. AHHHHHHHH!!! Cabin fever is just about to drive me insane... I have been around these people my entire life, and somehow that is just driving me CRAZY!! Nahh.. actually, I'm having a great time around these people, but I don't know... it all just seems so hollow sometimes. I'll be enjoying myself and then is just... almost imperceptibly it changes and sorta pans out and feels like it's another person I'm watching do what I'm doing and I just feel.. hollow and echoey.. if that's a word... I feel like a metal building that the wind could just crush at any moment. pffft.. just a passing phase, I hope. But you ever get to that point where you just sorta step back and say.. what in the world am I doing here? How did I get here? Where am I headed? I guess that's where I'm sitting at. What to do.. what to do.. hmmm.. *taps chin thoughtfully* I was thinking about being a stripper.. lol.. nah.. I'm joking. I know where I'm going, but every once in awhile I just get this meloncholy feeling and I have to sit down and watch the birds eat bread in the park, listen to some long slow pathetic music and cry my eyes out, hug myself and tell me I'm doing alright.. then, I'm ok again, and I reset my vigor at working. Pretty pathetic, eh? Hell, I think everybody feels this once in awhile. Different things work for different people, but you know.. I've never given up on something.. I've FELT defeated, but I've never been defeated. I pity the people that just get defeated too easily.. Oh hell.. let's say something stupid *brings out dead swordfish* EN GARDE!!! Thou mustn't shout so, 'tis just a scratch! Lates, ya'll. I'm out. |
February 24th, 2001, Sorry this is coming out so late on this GORGEOUS Saturday, but last night I went to see a chick flick with my bestest friend (I didn't get home until 4 am). Oh man, I usually cry at tear jerkers, but this one, I didn't. Which I was happy about. Last night was the best time I've had in quite awhile. Callie, Jessie, and I went out and had a good time. It's so strange. When I was younger I would have never thought a good time consisted of three girls, a restaurant, movie and then a 6 hour talk. lol.. Jessie's married now. *shutters* scaaaaaary. Marriage is just... blah... not something I'm ready to do. I'm WAAAAAY too selfish. I'll share a bed, hell ya, but not a house or shower or medical bills. Blech, no thanks, not at this time of life, ya know? I think she wears it well, and I say, BULLY-GOOD. You keep yourself that good one, and thank God for it. I had my first wet dream today. Scared the HELL outta me. I never have wet dreams, but I did last night. YEAH!! Sorry, ya'll prolly didn't want to know that, but it's something notable in my opinion. Oh.. speaking of notable, I've been told to put Michelle remembered on this thing. Don't ask, don't tell: that's my motto. OMG.. I saw the HOTTEST CAR EVER TODAY.. ohhhhh *drooling excessively* i looooooooooooved this truck. Black Dodge Ram sport with a short bed and extended shocks.. Ahhhhh god.. I got moist watching it slowly roll down the road. It was misting gently and it had water droplets clinging to every curve. *sigh* I wanna dodge. I love that truck. *shakes head to clear foggy thoughts* PHEW.. I think I'll leave while I still have visions of Dodge's dancing through my head. Lates, I'm out. |
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