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| February 20th, 2001, First of all lemme just say GET WELL SOON to my bestest friend EVER (this week), and hope that her crippled butt can wobble around for many, many, MANY more weeks beside me. (I believe in committment, can you tell?) Alllright... with THAT out of the way, let's get down to business. And BUSINESS is what I'm talking about here, dammit. BLAH, I had something brilliant to say and I completely FORGOT IT!! AHHHHHH. Ok.. well, uhmm.. this song sucks.. brb. THERE we go, a little Union Underground's Turn Me On Mr. Deadman. OH.. btw, thanks to you Jes for turning me on to deadman.. phew.. me likes me likes. so anyway, the weather actually became NICE for a change yesterday, which btw was PRESIDENT'S DAY!! Did everyone celebrate with a cigar and an intern? I sure did.. wooooo hoooo.. she was NICE AND SOFT, but firm where it counted. The cigar, silly, not the intern. The intern was some wrinkly old hag that hated cheesecake (don't ask me) and sat around talking about her evil grandchildren for a freakin' week (in one day, no less). Ok.. gotta tell ya'll. You ever get that hollow feeling in your stomach? I mean, it's like, there's nothing in your abdomen but this huge gaping crevice that you can scream into and hear your echo. That's the way I feel right now. I mean, it's just this awning hole that just SITS there, and no matter what you put in it, whether it be food, knowledge, or jokes, it just DOESN'T get filled. *sigh* don't ask me. Yes, this fat dezy-girl gets that feeling too. And maybe it's just amplified tonight.. pfffft.. Oh well, time to shake it off, it just gets bigger and bigger the longer I stare into the abyss amassing in my chest. So uhmm.. how was your day, honey? Honesty, who says that? When I say honey I think condiment... not condom. Geeez.. well, either way, I guess it works to get sticky buns. And with that.. I'm out. Lates. |
| February 21st, 2001, I think I'm gonna drag my bestest friend out to Wal-Mart to buy tons of condoms and a pregnancy test for a baby shower now. Oh yeah. It'll be fun. I wonder what kinda strange looks we'll get; two fats girls with their arms heaped over with little gold coins, trojans, hmm.. maybe glow in the dark? *shakes head* hmmm.. nahhhh.. Let's see.. all those other good ones and then right in PLAIN view a HUGE PREGNANCY TEST BOX.. oh yeah, centerpiece. hmm.. think we should buy "sanitary napkins" with it? (ever tried wiping your mouth with one of those? sanitary, my ASS!) ermmm.. maybe "feminine hygiene product" is a better way of putting it. Hey.. it could be fun. hmmm *writing it on my list of fun things to do* You KNOW.. those items would be good for a dinner party too! Wow.. universal conversational piece. Maybe I could find a willing participant to use some of the condoms, then sprinkle them around the pregnancy test centerpiece.. OH YEAH.. modern deco. perhaps a few bottles of Monostat 7 could be used as door prizes? What about some Rid? You konw, for the crabs, and some K-Y for those "hard-to-reach" friends, I could even send it in the mail! whoa. I gotta go get ready! I wonder what kind of sexy teddies pregnant chicks wear? Bon Apetit! |
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| February 22nd, 2001, Alright fools.. What's with the dudes this month? Is it national "Let ME be the ass" month? I'm not a guy hater.. FAR FAAAR from it, but I'm just about ready to turn redcoat and slap my face in some chick's crotch.. Dude. I am SICK to DEATH of guys that are assholes. Ok.. granted, they do have their strong points, but I am NOT talking about odor here, dammit. And I'm not about to say that chicks are any better, but I'm slowly SLOOOOOWLY beginning to wish that I was a lesbian.. or at least bi, then I could just hook up with a different sex every week... thus negotiating smoothly between the two. Ugh. Dudes, if you read this AT ALL.. please just state your intentions in the beginning.. K? If it is just having fun, that's cool. A girl likes to have a little fun once in awhile too.. I mean, we're horny bastards too, don't let the giggling fool ya. DO NOT EVER SAY I LOVE YOU!.. I don't care if you do or don't, just DON'T SAY IT! Gads.. how hard is that to understand? If you say I love you in more than just a joking manner, it means something, but it SURE AS HELL DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET FREE REIGN ON INSULTS AND OTHER SHITTY BEHAVIOR THAT I HAVE COME TO EXPECT FROM SOME CERTAIN DICK THAT GOES BY INITIALS BECAUSE HIS REAL NAME IS THE DUMBEST THING I'VE HEARD OF MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE!!! phew.. Even my brother's been an ass this entire month.. GAWD! ok.. maybe it's just me, but I'm not in the best of moods either, and it doesn't help when I'm SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!! *shutter* Let's see... my dad, now... he's an ass too, but I think because of his age it's sorta tampered down... Mom trains people veeeeeeeery well. *wink* That's the secret, gals, grab 'em when they're young, and train 'em well. And even THEN sometimes they're just bad apples. Hey.. chocolate.. brb. lol.. yum yum, sorry I get distracted easily. Want a bite? Forget you, I'm not giving you any. hmmm.. I wonder how long I can ramble. You know though, I am seriously considering never getting into a relationship, they are just some shit, I tell ya what. I think I'll become a nun. That'd be cool, I could be the only nun that uses smut and porn and cusses at cute little kittens and puppies.. uh oh.. Gotta go |
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