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January 30, 2005

 

How About This:

So the guys at the bible study I’ve been going to have been inviting this homeless dude for a couple weeks. I’ve talked to him some. He’s reasonably sane (ie no psychiatric illness that’s obvious yet) for a homeless dude although definitely has the cycle of poverty attitude about him. Kind of novel to have Bible study in La Jolla with a homeless dude. I don’t know if he gets anything out of it or if we actually gain from the experience. I don’t think I do… ah. Still don’t have much of an opinion on the whole thing.

 

Girls Suck:

I’m in a really bad mood.

 

What to do about my Rank List?:

I’m having doubts about ranking Oakland #1. I LOVE the George Washington program… it is just sooo freakin’ awesome! But, then, Oakland is home and I miss home. And, then I still have my back-up #4-6 to sort out… doesn’t help that no one I’ve talked to have had anything positive to say about living in Loma Linda/Riverside… blah. I still have several weeks to procrastinate.

 

More Reasons to be in a Bad Mood:

My article for journal club tomorrow is a stupid review article. How dumb. Pretty mind-numbing stuff… man, why can’t they give me a real article to present/critic instead of an article full of conclusions that I’m just going to sort through and highlight? How dull.

 

At least I’m going to talk about my favorite pub in Oxford during my short topic presentation on British Anti-Lewisite.

 

 

January 26, 2005

 

Real Work:

Working on KW’s bachelor party. Kind of a different beast… the age range is something like 18 to 60+… people born on three continents… and a mix of students, chemists, pastors, and others… I’m crossing my fingers that thing will fall into place…

 

I Hate Poop:

I took my dog for a run today. Afterwards I thought I’d be nice and let her chill inside. After I took a shower, I came out and she had s*** on the floor. UGG! You’d think she was house-broken and could wait and would let me know she needed to take a dump. What a frustrating dog.

 

I’ve decided that this relationship is very unilateral and unsatisfying. She just doesn’t show me much affection… for all the runs and jaunts to the beach and back/belly rubs… I get a couple licks on the face here or there, and that’s it! I give and give and give and all I get is a s*** on the floor.

 

I think I see a sad pattern in my relationships with girls… ha ha

 

Names the tox fellow has called my rental Pontiac Aztec:

Pear. Marshmellow. Pop-up Camper.

 

Europe:

The Europe planning is going well… Kind of hard having to plan my Chunnel round-trip, an overnight ferry, and a plane flight ahead of time… but I’m close to getting all my major travelings in order… then just reserve a handful of beds, and I should be set to go! The very sad thing about this is that my dates in different places don’t correspond well with soccer matches… I might go an entire month in Europe without seeing a soccer match… that would be quite depressing.

 

 

January 24, 2005

 

Letter of Love:

I’m sending out love letters to my top 3 (maybe 4) residency programs… even though they probably won’t make much of a difference, I figure I’ll be more content when I’m shafted on match day as long as I made sure I got in the maximum groveling possible.

 

This residency interview thing is kind of like dating. Everyone’s trying to look good (I was horrified at one place that my shoes weren’t well-shined), say the right things, smell decent… having the perfect setting (eg NY strip dinner at Henry Ford)… even gift-giving (got some really good chocolate and a neato pen from Cincinnati)… lots of mixed and hidden messages (“So what are you looking for in a program?” “Uh, yeah, I can totally see myself living in Poh-Dunk USA.”)… meeting the parents (the program director asking, “So why will I choose you as my chief resident in three years?)… a lot of post-date courting (thank-you cards)… and then trying to get the real story (“So does she like me or not?” “So what should I say/do to let her know?”) from those “friends-of” (eg residents). And, then, the kicker, is that in the end, it probably all didn’t really matter ‘cause fate and circumstances (The Match) just intervene and choose for you.

 

Man, girls are such a headache sometimes. I think Nietzche once said something to the effect that women are, at the same time, both the most beautiful and most dangerous creatures to ever exist.

 

World Cup:

Tickets on sale Feb 1. I can’t believe I almost forgot about that. The tough part is figuring out what country to go watch… should I be loyal and go to US matches? Then, maybe I don’t feel like getting booed everywhere I go and so I should just try to get England tickets… actually, I think I will try for England… it’ll be a lot more fun. More singing. More inebriation.

 

 

January 19, 2005

 

Red-Faced:

WELL. I haven’t been that embarrassed since a shoddy pt presentation to a surgical resident at Highland about half a year ago. So, my tox attending gave me two pages of case studies to work on (with no definite deadline). I worked through about half of them last week, and hadn’t touched them over the weekend b/c of my interview, helping out KW, church/small group, and other stuff. It’s not that I hadn’t been studying—just not those cases. Surprise! After only seeing that attending once or twice since last week, she tells me we’re going through them. So, after five cases—half of which I hadn’t done and could only offer some generally weak impromptu thoughts—we stop and we’re going to go through them all at a later time. F***. I could barely concentrate on the discussion it was so god-awful embarrassing.

 

So, no doubt what I’m working on tonight…

 

 

January 18, 2005

 

Loma Linda EM:

What can I say? It’s a solid program. Nice mix of tertiary care and county experiences. Above average peds training. Very friendly atmosphere. The residents and faculty were really friendly and cool. The Inland Empire isn’t so hot… or… rather, it’s too hot… but I’d definitely get back into snowboarding (1 hour from Big Bear/Snow Summit!!!) and mountain biking… something I can’t say about most other places I applied to.

 

This was the quietest interview I’ve been on, by far. Some deathly silence during lunch. I think we five interviewees just didn’t have any questions to ask anymore… there just comes a point when you can take one glance at an ED and get a decent sense of how things are run and you really only care about seeing the personalities of the residents to see whether or not you’d fit in...

 

I’ve decided I’m uncomfortable with two types of residents: 1) dull residents – some that just have some superficial speel that they keep on rattling off no matter how repetitive, useless, and sleep-inducing. 2) overenthusiastic residents – some were just too enthusiastic about their programs and tried selling it too hard… there’s a threshold over which you kind of wonder why they’re trying so hard... if they’re really trying to convince themselves of how great it is or if they’re covering something up…. My favorite programs have been ones where the residents talk frankly and positively about the pros/cons of the program, but frankly don’t give a s*** whether you agree or not – they know their program is and they are the s*** and don’t need to prove it to anyone – that’s a real intangible confidence that I found at only about half of the programs I interviewed at.

 

Oh yeah, I forgot one more type of person… those random culturally naïve people that say stuff like, “Who would have thought 10 years ago that a guy like me [a white guy] would be talking to a black guy next to him on a plane with Japanese kids running around?” How irritating. Well, he was an applicant, but still annoying… and kind of frightening – he could be your ER doc someday...

 

 

January 17, 2005

 

UCSD Toxicology:

Had some great cases already… carbon monoxide poisoning… serotonin syndrome… it’s been much more laid-back since that first crazy day… I actually went in today not knowing that they considered it a holiday… even then, got some good teaching points from the attending… not entirely sure I want to do tox fer sure – it’s not too bad, I’d have a handful of shifts (10-12 hrs/week) on top of whatever tox research, admin, teaching, etc I’d be doing… not bad, but dunno if I want to do tox all the time… we’ll see. Cool stuff. These guys are really smart… kind of quirky personalities… maybe I’d fit in. =)

 

San Diego:

Weather is awesome… it’s getting into the mid-70s during the day – I just took my dog to Dog Beach in Ocean Beach for a couple hours… been going for short runs almost every day… got to get a bit more fit for the wedding… ha ha.  Also just been helping KW with home projects he needs to get done before he’s hitched.

 

Bridal Shower games:

So they played that Newlywed-show-like game where they first videotape the groom responding to questions and then replaying it during the bridal shower/bachelorette party to see if the bride gives the same answer. So, if you can believe it, I had to be the one to come up with the “naughty” questions. The maid-of-honor was just too... uh… embarrassed? Innocent? So, great. I didn’t realize how tame her questions would be until she got here and I read the list… stuff like “what’s your favorite color?” and “how was your first kiss?”… I think her big naughty question was phrased something like, “How many times will you consummate your marriage the first week?” or something like that. Well, I suppose it’s a bit scandalous for a conservative Christian crowd… So, great. It falls to the shoulders of a conservative, Asian American Christian to put together a handful of naughty questions… definitely not the optimal arrangement.  But, I put together some questions about underwear – you can never go wrong embarrassing a conservative gal by talking about underwear… speaking of which, one of my favorite memories from my last trip to England was sitting in a centuries-old pub in some back alley in Oxford, having fish & chips with an ale, and having this great conversation with my female companion… which included a long discussion about women’s underwear… anyways…

 

My best question was this (thanks to JI’s advice):

Me: “What was the first thing you did to get YQ’s attention?”

KW: “Uh, you mean the very first thing?”

Me: “Uh, sure.” (as I’m thinking – this is not a difficult question)

KW: “I called her up and talked to her for a while.”

Me: <raising eyebrow in disbelief>

KW: “What? You asked for the very first thing…”

….  Dude, that was pretty weak, KW.

 

This was SD’s bright idea, I thought it was worth a shot:

Me: “If you were to name your penis, what would you call it?”

KW: <silence>

… Anyways… this one got edited out… didn’t help that KW and the maid of honor were pretty much silent for an awkward amount of time… oh well. Although, realizing this the next day, a more reasonable question (I’m never asking SD’s help for stuff like this again) would have been the Vagina Monologues question: “If you were to dress your vagina/penis, what would it wear?” where it’s a question of perceptions of sexuality… instead of just being weird

 

Applications:

Just canceled my interview at Maryland today. Just couldn’t do it. Feel a bit guilty taking the spot from a person potentially more interested than me. So, just have my Loma Linda interview tomorrow and then a month to arrange my rank list. Thank goodness it’s nearly done with. What a pain.

 

 

January 13, 2005

 

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle:

Dude. It was HILARIOUS. Any movie that can work in Amy Grant and Wilson-Phillips and still be entertaining is worth seeing.

 

Old Digs:

Trying to get in some work at UCSD… needed to get out of the house and go somewhere where I could people-watch during study breaks… they replaced the semi-sketchy Mexican and Chinese food places in the Price Center with a Rubio’s and Panda Express… it was pretty sucky food, but it had character… that’s kind of a bummer.

 

Too Much Thinking:

Actually a bit distracted thinking about my rank list again.cause I’m thinking of dropping my last interview. My thinking is, that if it’s probably not going to crack my top 4-5, it’s probably not really worth it. Yeah… it’s too bad, it’s a great program, but I’m really tired of traveling and interviewing… blah.

 

Jail Tattoos:

What I learned today during Tox lectures…

Big numbers on the chest = zip code or area code of the gang

Number on a tombstone = how many years in jail

Random number = corresponding letter to a corresponding drug he can trade in jail. Eg 13 => M => Marijuana

Woman on the back = depending on the attractiveness, for encouragement or protection

 

Home:

So I was thinking when I was home a couple weeks ago that I really don’t feel totally at home anywhere… and so it begs the question, why? So, I’ve decided that what makes a place “home” is actually a bunch of different things including peer relationships, family, community, physical environment, work/leisure activities… probably in roughly that order to importance to most people… basically, because I figure people will usually move to very different areas for their spouses… and the people who don’t are probably pretty selfish. But, anyways, for example, while Toledo has nothing to offer for me in any of those five areas, San Diego feels very comfortable in all those areas except that my family isn’t down here. The Bay Area (probably East Bay) would be the best fit, if I could just get all my friends to migrate back up north. But, in each case, there’s a critical element that’s kind of missing that makes each place not quite feel totally comfortable.

 

So, I’m kind of trying to rank my programs based on what place feels like it could grow on me as “home.” It’s coming down to what city do I want to live in and did I feel like I fit in with the residents? My top 3-4 are pretty easy… it’s everything after that—my back-up programs are taking a lot of thought… ‘cause those all have some big problem that I can’t ignore… ugg.

 

 

January 12, 2005

 

In San Diego:

Finally made it… aaaaaaaah… it’s nice and familiar.  Just been trying to get settled… didn’t help that I had a 12-hour first day… The tox rotation has been okay – also been trying to get a feel for people’s personalities and how I fit in to the team… always a bit awkward the first several days…

 

My rental car was switched… when I got to Hertz, they didn’t have any compact cars ready, so they gave me whatever they had ready on the lot at the time… a beige…. PontiacAztec… blah. Not the sexiest car… not really the nimblest thing either… but, the extra room is kind of nice since I’m helping KW with some of his home projects and eventually the wedding… ah, we’ll see if I decide to keep it around or switch it sometime…

 

 

January 7, 2005

 

“’Something happened that we probably neither understood at the time, so it’s no surprise we can’t remember it properly now, or that we recall it differently. We have to understand something to remember it.’

     ‘Is that true?’

     ‘I think so. It’s why two-year-olds can’t remember. They feel things like crazy, but they don’t remember them because they don’t really understand them.’”

Kim Stanley Robinson, Blue Mars

 

Memory:

Funny thing memory is. This seems to come up often in my conversations with DC. I swear that I’ve never lost a Scrabble game to her, in fact, that she retired early from one game because I was winning so overwhelmingly. She, however, seems to remember that she soundly beat me once to my two wins… I don’t believe it, ‘cause I never score as low as she claims. How insulting.  Ha ha

 

Need to Leave:

Another good reason to leave Toledo – It’s a pain in the a** trying to find a ride to the Detroit airport since so many of my friends graduated, and the few people I still know are all in med school… I was close to considering arranging a taxi… that would have cost around $100… whew. Just need three more… one back and then two for Europe.

 

So, just been running errands, reading, playing PS2, and trying to pack for two months (I think I’ll be okay), and trying to clean up all the random crap lying around my apt for my friend subletting my place… ugg… got all my clothes and books packed away… it’s just all that annoying, unnamed, ubiquitous residual stuff that always appears when you’re trying to pack up and move… that stuff you want to dump into a single box just to be done with it, but know that you’ll probably lose something really important, so it just sits around, randomly scattered on the floor of the apt, until time runs out and you pack it all into one jumbled box anyways…

 

 

January 5, 2005

 

Overheard at Cook County:

1)       “Procreating residents are happy residents.”

2)       “There were some pretty shady dealings [for building the new hospital]… but it was for a good cause.”

 

Cook County:

Ugg. I thought about canceling this interview, but I ended up liking it a lot. It’s definitely the prototypical county program, even with the whole, unabashed badge of honor of serving the indigent. It’s my type of patient population – indigent, mixed ethnicities, high percentage of Latino patients (I get to practice Spanish, unlike any other non-CA program I’ve interviewed at). Very strong clinical training. Really good senior level, supervisory experience. Has the module system that I like. Residents are real laid-back… kind of blue-collar feel… not as edgy as some other county/inner-city programs. Cool attendings. Oh yeah, EIGHT-HOUR SHIFTS!!!! VERY nice. Kind of a drawback – although it’s not guaranteed, I think I can influence them into ranking me high for the prelim medicine year and turn the 2-4 program into a virtual 1-4, which is MUCH better. Not the greatest prelim medicine year, but not bad either. And, it’s COOK COUNTY. Not quite as big a name as Cincinnati, but it’s up there, definitely… that will help with job placement later. Chicago is FUN. Weather sucks big time, but what a GREAT city! Drawbacks are that it’s a county program – not as adverse of an environment as LA County, but definitely not a cushy place to work… I dunno. It can’t be that bad, but they took great lengths to warn people about it. Not a whole lot of perks. Separate peds and trauma rotations which isn’t my preference, but solid experience.

 

 

January 3, 2005

 

Scientific Question: Does EtOH Correlate to Rank Order?:

Alcohol consumed while in the company of residents/other applicants:

Highland – 4 beers/2 post-shift outings

Henry Ford – 1 beer

Kalamazoo – 1.5 beers

Yale – 3 beers + 2 Bailey’s

George Washington – 2 beers

Cincinnati – 1 beer

All Others – none

 

It appears that 2 drinks may be a threshold, where 2+ drinks => a high rank, whereas <2 drinks doesn’t appear to make a difference.

 

Grrr:

One of my pet-peeves is losing out on free money. Made a few careless mistakes just over the last month. First, I forgot to print out a $20-off Banana Republic coupon and missed out on using that last month. Then, I just found out all my Columbia House frequent purchase credits expired at the end of the year! That was supposed to be my Two Towers and Return of the King DVDs!!!! ARGH! Frustrating… grrrrr

 

Selling Books:

So I’m sitting around Health Ed trying to get rid of a ton of my med school books. Too bad these 1st and 2nd years are too short-sighted to realize how much they’d be saving by investing a little early… I can’t believe how much cash I blew on these stupid books. Well, got rid of a big chunk of them… maybe got around $160 today… recovered, uh, maybe 30% of what I spent? Yuck. I’m hoping to bump up my $recovery by selling the rest of my stuff on ebay/half.com.

 

Article Correlating Marriage Prospects With IQ:

“Claire Rayner, writer and broadcaster, said in the article that intelligent men often preferred a less brainy partner.

‘A chap with a high IQ is going to get a demanding job that is going to take up a lot of his energy and time. In many ways he wants a woman who is an old-fashioned wife and looks after the home, a copy of his mum in a way.’”

Err… uh… ut-oh…

January 1, 2005

First Quotation of the New Year, in tribute to my many couple-friends—new and old, fresh and seasoned, but all still fun to hang out with:

“Only a few people in the world were lucky enough to run into their true partners—it took courageous luck for it to happen, then the sense to recognize it, and the courage to act. Few could be expected to have all that, and then to have things go well.”

Kim Stanley Robinson, Blue Mars

 

… oh yeah, it’s also for my 5’6”, 2nd-gen Asian Am, Christian (perhaps with a Reformed bent), volleyball-playing, good-music-art-and-book respecting, thoughtful and merciful, to-be-found hottie wife—in case she’s reading this.  Ha ha

 

 

December 30, 2004

 

More Home:

Ah. I get pretty bored after a week of not-talking with my dad and shopping with my mom. My brother dropped by after dinner then somehow got my dad started talking about living trusts/wills… good grief, I felt like going to sleep.

 

Getting a little restless with moving around so much—ready to hit San Diego and stay in one spot for more than a week straight. Maybe I’m just restless with med school and ready to move on already. I do miss all the great Asian food around here.

 

English Women:

Someone told me that the female:male ratio in England is 4:1. Sounds like an ideal environment for a bachelor, but I dunno about English women. I think, with a few notable exceptions, English women are generally not the most attractive lot. In fact, when they get piss-drunk, and the sophisticated English accent basically turns into garbage, they can be straight away disgusting. I may be over-generalizing, but the one time I went to Ministry of Sound, I wasn’t very impressed. The Scottish women, on the other hand…….

 

Random Thought:

Has anyone else realized that if you go to a stadium-seating movie theatre, you can see the tops of everyone’s heads? Isn’t that funny? I mean, what are people generally self-conscious about? Stuff that other people can see, that they can’t, right? Eg gum on the buttocks, kick me notes on backs, that acne you can feel forming on your nose, and… tops of heads! So, when you’re sitting high in a movie theatre and can see dozens and dozens of people’s tops of their heads below you, when else do you wield so much social power? When can you hold such a mass of people under such a huge collective vulnerability?

 

It’s also like cloud-watching—you can pick out different shapes and animals out of people’s hair. Heehee

 

and, finally, Happy New Year!

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