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| Graduation Day part 1 Willow: Oh, I'm gonna miss her. Buffy: Don't you hate her? Willow: (still smiling) Yes, with a fiery vengeance. She picked on me for ten years, the vacuous tramp. It's like a sickness, Buffy. I'm just missing everything. I miss P.E. Buffy: I think it's contagious. The whole senior class has turned into the Sixties, or what I would have imagined the Sixties would have been like without the war and the hairy armpits. Xander: Guess who our commencement speaker is? Willow: Siegfried? Xander: No. Willow: Roy? Xander: No. Willow: One of the tigers? Xander: Come out of the fantasy, Will. Mayor: And everything went smoothly with Mr. Wirth? Faith: Not if you're Mr. Wirth! Anya: Men like sports. I'm sure of it. Xander: Yes. Men like sports. Men watch the action movie, they eat of the beef, and enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs and that's all you've learned? Giles: Nonetheless, keep watch. Faith has you at a disadvantage, Buffy. Buffy: Cause I'm not crazy or cause I don't kill people? Giles: Both, actually. Mayor: "The beast will walk upon the earth and darkness will follow. The several races of man will be as one in their terror and destruction." Aw, that's kind of sweet. Different races coming together. Willow: Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not going to find a spell to stop the Ascension. I'm no witch. I can't even change poor Amy back to a person. Oz: But you got the swinging Habitrail going. I think Amy is in a good place emotionally. Xander: I got friends on the line. Anya: So? Xander: That humanity thing's still a work in progess, isn't it? Mayor: Mmm. My god, what a feeling. The power of these creatures. It suffuses my being. I can feel the changes begin. My organs are shifting, changing, making ready for the Ascension. Plus these babies are high in fiber. And what's the fun in becoming an immortal demon if you're not regular, am I right? Graduation part 2 Xander: Here is your cup of coffee. Brewed from the finest Colombian lighter fluid (Sits down across from Giles) Giles: Thank you. (Takes a sip).Horrible. (Takes another sip.) Xander: Aren't you supposed to be drinking tea anyway? Giles: Tea is soothing. I wish to be tense. Xander: Okay. But you are destroying a perfectly good cultural stereotype here.( Grins.) Cordelia: I demand an explanation. Xander: For what? Cordelia: Wesley. Xander: Uh - inbreeding? Oz: Any change? Willow: He's delirious. He thought I was Buffy. Oz: You too, huh? Buffy: So, am I crazy? Willow: Well, 'crazy' is such a *strong* word. Giles: (chewing on his glasses:) Let's not rule it out though. Cordelia: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan. Oz: We attack the Mayor with humus.(Everyone looks at him.) Cordelia: I stand corrected. Cordelia: Of course, that's it. We attack him with germs! Buffy: Great! We'll corner him and then you can sneeze on him. Cordelia: (gesturing excitedly:) No! No, we'll get a box with the Ebola virus and and. Or it doesn't even have to be real, we can just get a box that says Ebola on it and uhm (snaps her fingers) chase him........with the box" Xander: I'm starting to lean towards the humus offensive. Oz: He'll never see it coming. Buffy: (to Wesley ) The council is not welcome here. I have no time for orders. If I need someone to scream like a woman I'll give you a call. Xander: But I'm still key-guy, right? Buffy: Right. Xander: Then Angel,....in his non key-guy capacity,...can work with me. Angel: (sarcastic ) What fun. Xander: (to Angel) Hey! Key-guy is still talking Xander: Harmony, listen, I need to talk to you for a second. Harmony: You mean in front of other people? Wesley: If I could could just get something for the pain. It's rather a lot of pain, actually...Aspirin? If you would...uh...ah (The firemen start sliding the gurney into the ambulance) Perhaps I could just be knocked unconscious. Buffy: (tiredly) I haven't processed everything yet. (small laugh) My brain isn't really functioning on the higher levels. (takes a deep breath) It's pretty much: fire bad; tree pretty. Giles: (looking around) There is a certain dramatic irony that's attached to all this. A Synchronicity that borders on on predestination, one might say. Buffy: Fire bad; tree pretty. Cordelia: Well, that's the most fun you can have without having any fun. |
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