Simon's Tight Head Sister

Hi, Kids!

One afternoon in March my younger sister Claudia grabbed her gym bag and told me: "See ya tonight. I'm going to Hanover right now - for some rugby training." I thought I had misunderstood her and couldn't help laughing: "He he he. I guess I need a new hearing aid. Do you know what I thought I heard you say? That you were gonna do some rugby training. He he he he he." Claudia didn't laugh at all but retorted: "Yep. That's exactly what I told ya." Now I had to laugh even louder: "He he he he harr harr harr cockerydoodledoo, what do you wanna do there? Rugby? Oh, you're a giiiiiirl after all! He he he ha ha ha oink oink oink oink..." Claudia was pretty cross:"So youuuu believe rugby's a game only for men, you macho? Well, I'm gonna play rugby, and if it's the last thing I'll do. I don't care about what you say."

Maybe some of you don't know rugby. In Hanover it's quite a popular ball game though, and it is even a very very very important game in Great Britain, Ireland, France, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and a few other countries. I do know a bit about rugby because my dad used to play it, and I had watched some matches on Eurosport. Rugby is quite a tough game full of action, and actually I had never thought of playing rugby myself.

Well, imagine rugby like this: There are two teams opposed to each other on a more or less green lawn - just as there are in soccer (or football, as you might prefer to call it). But that's about the only thing rugby and soccer have in common. Rugby players attempt to carry the oval ball across the field and to put it onto the ground in the zone behind their opponents' touchline. That's for five points.
Moreover there's a goal on each of the two ends of a rugby field. But these are totally different from soccer goals, too. A rugby goal consists of two very high bars which are linked with a crossbar. When you succeed in kicking the ball over that crossbar, that's three points.
In a rugby game you may kick the ball, and you may throw the ball. But when you throw the ball make sure you don't throw it forward - that's forbidden. You may only throw it to somewhere behind you. The tough thing about rugby is that you may do tacklings which are strictly forbidden in a soccer game: To stop an opponent and to grab the ball from them, you may hold them and topple them over. When the opponent player is on the ground, all the other players dive for the ball. Hey, that's havoc sometimes.

Of course I couldn't believe rugby was the appropriate sport for my fragile little sister. That's why I thought she would come home that evening crying like a baby: "Baaaa! I'll never go there again. It hurt! It was hell! Where's my doll?" But she didn't - she was beaming with happiness and told us proudly: "It was sooo cooool there! The coach said I could become a perfect tight head prop for his team. I really did all the training with my mates. See, big brother? You thought rugby wasn't a game a girl could play." She was really over the moon, and Mom and Dad were proud of her. I tried to save my face: "Okay, it's a girlies' team after all. You can certainly keep up with other giiiirls." Claudia gloated: "No, it isn't! It's the children's team of the Roderbruch Woodchoppers, and there are both boys AND girls in our team." I really couldn't imagine Claudia would take it for a long time.

But she did. For several weeks she went to the training regularly and was even put into the squad for the matches against the kids of Doehren Swallows and Germania List. After the matches she was a bit in cuts and scrapes but she was happy. She had enjoyed every bit of the action.

One day I was so curious that I begged her: "Well, Claudi ... do you mind if I come with you and watch you doing the rugby training?" Oh no, she didn't mind at all, it was a triumph to her: "Yes, come with me, big brother, and admire your tough sis!"

We went to Hanover by bus. A few of the children and the coach were already on the field when the two of us arrived. Claudia introduced us to each other: "This is my older brother, clever Sir Simon, who won't believe that gals can play rugby. This is our coach, Mr Campese from Australia. And these are some of my teammates: Marcus Monster, the hooker, and Steven Skullsquisher, the loose head prop. Angela Angstmaker, our flyhalf, our wings Tony Thunder and Nicole Killman, and the flankers are already here, too: Catherine Catapult and Jack Theripper." Everyone said it was fine I was interested in rugby. When I told Mr Campese I already knew a bit about the rugby rules, he even proposed: "You can play with us today if you like, Simon. We're gonna do a training match." Honestly speaking, when I saw all those broadshouldered kids I didn't really feel like playing with them - not rugby, that is. Maybe chess or hide-and-seek or ... But Claudia would have killed herself laughing if I had said No. So I said: "I'd love to. It's great." Mr Campese said: "That's bonza, mate. I suggest you join your sis as a prop. She'll be able to guide you a bit then."

In the meantime all the other children had arrived as well, and Mr Campese handed a whistle to a young boy: "You wanna be the referee for the day, Little Jonah?"

We lined up at the centre line, and the match started with our fullback, Tanya Tank, kicking the ball into our opponents' half, and we, the forward players, dived for the ball like vultures would dive for a carcass's bowels. All of a sudden I was holding the ball in my hands - and wanted to get rid of it as fast as I possibly could before the opponents would overrun me. So I passed it forward to my sister - but the referee blew the whistle and announced: "That was forward! Scrum!" Claudia had a go at me: "I thought you knew it was forbidden to throw the ball forward in rugby. When you wanna move the ball forward, you must either carry it or kick it."

The referee blew the whistle, and the scrum was underway. Well, there was some real pushing going on. At one moment I found myself lying on the ground. But I had no time staying there. The opposing team had got hold of the ball, and we meant to get it back. Suddenly I had the ball in my hands again, and the opponents were getting nearer and nearer and nearer. "What now?" I yelled to my sister. "Kick it forward - over the sideline." I managed to do that. Now we lined up - for the so-called lineout. That is, the forwards of each team queue up, standing neatly in two rows, each forward standing shoulder to shoulder with one opposing forward. One player - the hooker of one team - must throw in the ball in a straight line between the two rows, and the forwards attempt to get hold of the ball. Claudia lined up in front of me and whispered: "When the ball's being thrown in, just lift me up. No time for questions." So I did what she had just told me to do. She grabbed the ball high out of the air and passed it to our scrumhalf Nikki O'Kickmee. Then the ball was passed to me again, and Claudia shouted: "Keep the ball, Simon! Run!" I did, because there was no one standing in my way. Lucky chance! I reached the opponents' touchline and put the ball down there in that end-zone. I cheered: "Hooray! Hooray! Goal! Goal! Touchdown! Or whatever! Yeah!" Claudia was proud of me and she was smiling: "Well done, brother. Even though we call that a try in rugby."

And thus I had scored my first try in rugby. Well, I really like that game.

Yours,

Simon Flunkert