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Daniel Roy

See also:
Boererock - a webpage in English and German about Rock in Afrikaans

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Okay, alright, okay. So Simon told you I was his secretary, didn't he? He always does it. How do I know? Well, actually I know everything he does, says or thinks. After all, I am what people call the "author".

Not that I do the writing for a living. After school (many many many many many years ago), I thought it would be useful to become a very wise young man. So I left my teenie-tiny birthplace of Peine in Lower Saxony to do some studies. And I spent my best years at a university in a place far far far away from home - in Hanover, forty kilometers west of Peine. I devoted myself to the humanities (literature, linguistics and social studies) and furthermore I learned dozens of foreign languages (well, not actually dozens - just a few). When they gave me my Master of Arts degree and kicked me out of the uni with that, I might have been a bit wiser than before - but not necessarily richer. And the wisest thing I did was not even to attempt to make a living of my newly acquired wisdom, but to do something else. Oh, how wise this was.

So as John Cleese used to say: "And now for something completely different." I did some further studies (this time the vocational way) during which I learned to program these bastards called computers. I became a software developer, and I must say: I don't regret it. No, I really don't regret it. Well, not all day long, that is.

My vocational life didn't really allow me to see the entire world. It rather made me go zigzag inside my native Germany. Look, from Hanover (Lower Saxony) I went to Bonn (Rhineland). From Bonn (Rhineland) I moved to Sehnde (Lower Saxony). And from Sehnde (Lower Saxony) I came to Bruehl (Rhineland). I don't know what future has in store for me: Maybe I'll have to move to Brunswick (Lower Saxony) before I settle down in Aachen (Rhineland) ... oh no, I hope I may stay here in Bruehl for a while and do some more work for my company in Cologne (Rhineland). (Well, not actually "my" company - oh, you know what I mean.)

Well, and something else has had an impact upon my whole life. I have had a physical disability since my early childhood. Actually it doesn't hamper me too much in my everyday life. Colleagues even seem to forget that I lack both feet and fingers of my left hand (the missing feet I compensate with artificial legs). So I'm not toooo unhappy about it. But one thing I can assure you: A disability like this most successfully prevents girls from ever falling in love with you, mates. I assure you, it really does. No danger at all of ever having to wipe baby botties or to quarrel with mothers-in-law about what's good for your wife or to spend your holiday in places you never ever wanted to go to and so on and so on and so on and so on. And et cetera et cetera to boot. So there's a good thing in everything.

Now some people think I should be decent enough not to waste my time making up stories for children. A man in his thirties, holding a Master's degree, working as a software developer for a management consultancy and knowing the "hardships of life" very well should have better things to do, or shouldn't he?

No, he shouldn't. It's a good thing when a child is full of imagination. And if this child grows up and becomes an adult and keeps his or her imagination, what's wrong with that? And naturally this imagination needs an outlet. And so Simon Flunkert was born.

In a way, Simon is always with me. For example when I traveled to Sydney, Australia - the country of the kangaroo, the koala and something called vegemite (sort of shoe-polish which Australians eat). Simon came with me in my luggage, and his nine episodes about his trip reveal that his adventures "down under" were even more exciting than my own ones.

If you wanna get to know Simon more closely and if you live in a place where you can receive Kinderkanal (or Ki.Ka, as it has been called in the meantime), go to page 556 of their videotext, and you'll meet him there. And if you don't get Ki.Ka (I understand Americans, Australians and South Africans don't get thaaat many German TV channels - well, unless they are in Germany), just come back to this website from time to time. There will always be something new. (Well, not always, but ...)

Oh, and before I call it a day - you should know I'm incorruptible. It's virtually impossible to bribe me - unless you offer me chocolate.
Years ago on German TV a woman bet she would identify 100 different brands of chocolate just by smelling and tasting bits of them (she was blindfolded). I found this bet boring - utterly boooooooring - because I didn't see the challenge in an easy thing like that.

Yours undiabetically,

Daniel Roy

Why don't you send me a mail, mates?

Hinweis! Ich suche Mitwirkende für mein Projekt:

Der kleine Beneluxladen - De kleine Beneluxwinkel - Le petit magasin du Benelux Hier klicken.

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