Since Damian and I were forced to watch all the commercials during the Yankees-Angels series, we've decided to comment, criticize, and, oh, totally
obliterate the schlock ads we saw.
Sim this, Fox:
1. The Lily Pharmaceuticals "Bipolar" ad -- The entire presentation and premise was immoral, unethical, and just plain wrong. What, let's take a
survey online to see if we have a chemical imbalance in the brain? That is the most ridiculous way to diagnose (let alone advertise) a powerful
prescription drug like Paxil.
And that was the most stereotypical Bipolar female I have ever seen in my life. Talk about inappropriate.
2. The "John Doe" Fox ad -- "Do you know what it's like to look in the mirror and not know who you are?" I've got a better question, John Doe --
why on earth should I care about your problems?
Okay, the guy can tell me how many dimples are on a golf ball -- so freakin' what? I can look up that info on Google. Maybe that would be a great TV
show -- "Who is ... Google?"
"Do you know what it's like to have people search stuff on you, and know everything, and not know who you are? And not have A.I.?"
That would be a million times more compelling.
3. The Seigfreid and Roy Sprint PCS commercial -- At least that commercial was funny. Unfortunately, I didn't feel compelled to buy a cellphone with
email and photo capabilities. No. Instead, I was dying to take a trip to Vegas, to see those two loons do their magic act. They sold themselves
better than the phone!
4. The "Get games, get phone" Dentist chair commercial -- that was mildly funny the first 100 times I saw it, but, man, can't they produce another 30
second commercial? Oh, wait, they did....
5. The "Get games, get phone" Karate commercial -- a new low. The marketing gurus must think Americans are complete drooling morons. Who has
ever been so freakin' bored that they started doing karate moves at the Dentist's office? Come on. Give me a big fat break. I mean, it was funny,
but I am not remotely compelled to buy Game Gear ten years after it was released. If I wanted Atari Lynx, I would've bought it already. I don't
need it in my damn cellphone!
6. "Transporter" movie commercial -- That had to be the most over-the-top action movie commercial I have ever seen. I mean, some of those moves
(jumping into the windshield of a truck, redirecting a missile coming right at the guy) were beyond impossible. I know the people want new action
heroes to replace Arnold and Stallone, but this is getting ridiculous.
