Zane Black was found clutching a scroll when he was found by NASA in the
Arizona desert. Here's what we translated so far:

The Book of Zane

Chapter One

1 A prophecy concerning Zane Black, King of Orlando and heir to the kingdom
of fame and fortune. 2 May we all be blessed to stand next to King when his
kingdom arrives, and bask in his glory. 3 And may we all live our reality
within his reality, and our dream within a dream of Zane Black, at Mars
Amphitheater in front of thousands.

4 Zane was born from a woman, the conception of an earthly father and
mother. 5 His body was of earthly form, but his spirit was from another
reality. 6 His mother's womb was a doorway from his previous existence --
Zane's spirit has lived for millions of years.

7 The spirit of Zane chose the body of Zane. 8 The body of Zane was chosen,
for it was a special vehicle, a holy vehicle. 9 The body of Zane was chosen
to carry his spirit. 10 The spirit of Zane brought new life to an otherwise
ordinary physical vessel.

11 The spirit of Zane has chosen this place, and this time, in order to
prophecy against the new prejudice of the 21st century. 12 Where, in the
past, racism was the irrational cause of much suffering, 13 today we have a
new irrational cause -- appearance.

14 Men who wear blue hair should not be condemned. 15 Men who paint their
nails should not be condemned. 16 Men who wear Jedi braids should not be
condemned. 17 Men who wear beards should not be condemned.

18 Men who dress casually should not be condemned. 19 Men who wear sneakers
should not be condemned.

20 These are some of the many admonitions from Zane -- the spirit, not the
body. 21 He was brought among us, here and now, to fight the irrational
perception of business attire, and to bring sanity to the corporate world.