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Minorities Denounce Arab Americans
Muhammed Ali: The ONLY MINORITY LEADER willing to stand with his Muslim brothers.
In perhaps the most shocking development since Scott Brosius' retirement, traditional American minorities have turned against Arab Americans. Similar to the times when blacks were oppressed by the white man, now Arab Americans are receiving the same treatment from the previously powerless minorities. "Hey, man -- we may be hoodlums, but at least we don't terrorize the whole nation!" stated one African American youth in Chicago. "Maybe we have the scared the nation, in some ways...." stated an anonymous rap star/gang member from Compton. "I mean, yo, we are the original gangstas, right? And gangstas terrorize to get a point across!" 
Even illegal immigrants, like this one, are denouncing Arabs.
Even illegal Mexican immigrants came out of the shadows to speak out against the Arab minority. "I may not have a Green Card," stated Pablo, translated from Spanish, who works in a soup kitchen as a dishwasher, "but at least my people have our dignity. As an illegal resident in this country, I have to admit I am scared to be here because of the Arabs. They should get rid of these power hungry, legal towel heads and give us [illegal immigrants] the Green Cards! It's not like we cause trouble, anyway! We do more for you than the 7-11 store owner does." It is unknown where Prime Minister Jorge Bush will fall on this issue. His ties with Mexico, and the Spanish community in general, have some experts believing he will side with the traditional minorities, and encourage the Arab Americans to cooperate with traditional minority opinions. This could include incentives to sell store ownerships, 'evacuate the U.S.' initiatives, and job placement programs in the area of sanitation and janitorial work. "We hope they [the Arabs] understand," stated one minority cabinet official, "it's not them -- it's just that we have a nation to run, and that means listening to the established special interests. If we don't, the economy's in the toilet, Fluffy won't have a new doggy bone for Christmas, and it's 1979 all over again. We can never let that happen again." 1979 was the peak year for an unprecedented oil shortage, and America's worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. "Of course, the oil shortage was their [the Arabs] fault," added the cabinet official. "Karma. I guess what goes around really does come around." Whether or not Arab mistreatment in the year 2001 is an indirect result of 1979 Karma, or cause and effect, has yet to be determined at this time -- but is considered highly unlikely by the National Enneagram Council, the TDA, and Dr. D. Hoffman of the Arkham Asylum. |
