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The quest behind all quests.
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The magic of spirit is an uncommon, yet all-pervasive, thing. To many who pursue it, it's called simply 'the path'. I don't recall when I first heard the term but it was many years ago and it's stuck with me. As I travelled it, I met others who knew what I was referring to when I mentioned it. Like the Tao, which in Chinese, means simply the Way, the quest for spirit is a journey inside oneself and outside in the world; it has a beginning but it has no end. I began my journey early in my teenage years and though I've wandered from the path time and time again, I always find myself returning to it.
So, what is the path? Well, honestly, it's hard to explain but I think it's a more direct response to the question of life. Let me offer an anecdote. Many years ago, while in my usual state of half-baked contemplation, I saw, or rather felt, something out of the corner of my eye. After a bit of chasing, I finally caught up to it; emptiness. Deep at my core, I found emptiness, a gaping void, as though there was nothing where my soul should be. It was somewhat painful, emotionally, to consider it and I realized that perhaps it was that emptiness that "makes the world go 'round". It's always there but it's hard to spot so most people ignore it through activities that cause time to fly by, like a career, a family, or a relationship. Some few sense the emptiness and try to fill it or express it, which might be the source of religion and is definitely the inspiration of a lot of artistic expression. Having said all of this, the path, for me, is the journey that involves facing that emptiness and exploring its depths.
I've followed many roads in my search for 'Truth', from Golden Dawn to Taoism, Shamanism to Paganism, and though I am, by no means, an expert I've learned a lot. My first real success was an energy exercise from Scott Cunningham, involving energy flow between the palms. Since then, I've had shamanic visions, lucid dreams, experienced mind-boggling synchronicities and felt my chi flowing through the Microscosmic Orbit. I'm captivated by the utter vastness of spirituality and though I'm easily bogged down by life's many little dramas, I like to think that I proceed like a glacier, slow but persistent.
My current fascination is Chaos Magick. For many years, I sloughed them off as clowns in robes, with no real insight into the world. They ignored spirituality, used sitcoms for rituals and generally made no sense. It's funny how I made my way into that foray. I'm an avid comic collector and have been since I was 15 years old. I occasionally stop collecting when I get bored or the budget tightens but recently, a title that I never collected before (the JLA) underwent a rebirth with a new writer and artists. The stories and character development were incredible; I was thoroughly impressed. One of the writers was Grant Morrison and when he switched to the X-Men, he brought that same quality of writing with him. At around the same time, I had joined a small Yahoo! Group in search of good discussion on Leary's 8-Circuit model and the works of Dr. Christopher Hyatt. To my surprise, I saw a thread discussing Comics and the Occult. Even further, Grant Morrison was mentioned and a link added to that thread led me to an interview with him where he discussed his long history with Chaos Magick. I was amazed, to say the least. I knew of links between my more eccentric hobbies but this was stronger because I thought he was becoming one of my favourite writers.
This short journey concluded, or perhaps began, the next weekend. I was in the local occult shop, picking up books that I had ordered. I was wandering since the clerk was busy with another customer. Their Western Tradition section is extremely small, easily overlooked amongst the bounty of books on Paganism, Astrology, Yoga and the latest "High Priest of Atlantis" to be channelled. Within that, I spotted the name again, "Grant Morrison". He'd written an introduction for a fellow Brit and Chaos Magician, Phil Hine. Now, I was interested but the book seemed a little too complex. Fortunately, Phil's first of two books, Condensed Chaos, an Introduction to Chaos Magick, sat quietly on the shelf beside the book I had spotted... hehe, try getting the first book of any series in a regular bookstore. Bought it, read it and while I've read Peter Carroll's books on Chaos Magick, Phil Hine's book made Chaos Magick make sense and it made me feel as though, instead of the worn-out phrase, "eclectic pagan", I had been dancing on the edges of Chaos Magick for many years.
Just thought I'd add some links to some of my thought processes. I wouldn't call them articles really; they're much too short. If nothing else, it's a way for me to keep some of my trains on record so I can reread them in the future and think "Hmm..." or "What a loser"
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