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The magic of the heart is a call that few can resist. The catching of breath, the rush of blood, fluttering of the heart. Sex, lust, love and romance have captivated modern society. The vast majority of popular entertainment involves love stories whether it's an action flick where the tough guy gets the girl or a pop song about love lost. In fact, romantic love isn't as timeless as commonly believed. It is believed to have first been identified by the ancient Greeks as one of the three Loves, Philios, Agape and Eros. Remember that in these times, the vast majority of marriages in most societies were arranged as contracts between families. True romantic love didn't have a place in real life until it was popularized by medieval Troubadours. Not to say that romantic love has no place; in fact, I believe that it's a natural result of the acceptance of free will.
What makes things rather odd... or sad, as the case may be, for me to add a page like this to my site is the fact that I've stepped back from the whole thing. Call it a vow of indefinite celibacy, if you like. After several bad relationships, I came to the realization that free will is not so free. It doesn't take much attention to notice that women manipulate men. After a whoppingly un-PC statement like that, I'll explain it. You can't blame women for being so manipulative because it takes even less attention to realize that men are almost completely ruled by their libido. So much so that many men will assist, or perform favours for, women with little more than the flimsiest allusion to sex... hehe, it's like an agreement where one person does their best to fulfill their part of the bargain while the other doesn't have to reciprocate or even offer more than a vague idea as to what their part of the bargain is. Who wouldn't take advantage of such an obvious vulnerability?
My retreat from the world of romance began as anger toward my previous lovers then towards myself. It was only a short time before it developed into a full-bloomed distrust toward all women. Thankfully, I'm passing into a more introspective phase where I'm confronting my own weakness. Years ago, I took an interest in Taoist Sexual Yoga but it was a merger of my magickal interests and my desire for sexual prowess (yeah, typical male). I'm pleased that I've matured enough to bring my heart along on my spiritual quest.
I have a running theory, which may be seen as rather cold, regarding romantic love and its nature. I've come to suspect that romantic attraction has a lot more basis inside the mind than we think. It's common knowledge that people are generally attracted to those who are like a parent. For example, a woman out looking for a man who's like her father. Most people shudder at the thought but the theory is still a popular one... though I suppose it's easy to fall back on when trying to describe someone else's behaviour.
I have an addition to this belief. I recently took an interest in Jung for laymen (this may evoke a chuckle). Anyway, I was interested by the idea of the four base archetypes and the anima. Beyond the links to spirituality, it made me wonder about things like romantic love and marriage. I wonder if, in our search for meaning, we project our anima/animus onto people we meet. Those who resonate somewhat (or appear to) with that projection appear attractive to us. It also makes me think of the common image of the Yin-Yang where two 'drops' swirl together to form a circle, symbolizing completion but within each drop is a dot of the same colour as the opposite drop. To me, it represents a marriage where man and woman comes together to act as a whole but within each is the seed of the other. Within the man is the anima, that seed of perfect femininity that allows him to unite with his wife and within the woman is the animus, the seed of perfect masculinity that allows her to appreciate and love her husband.
Obviously, most marriages don't work like this. It's a goal none of us can reach. Sounds bleak but I don't think so. Every woman has the capacity to express a goddess just as every man can at times appear to be a god. However, as long as imperfect beings continually project perfection on other imperfect beings, failure and disappointment are guaranteed. Personally, I like to think that by trying to perfect myself and hopefully develop a relationship with my anima, I can stop projecting and expecting Her perfection from mortal women. Love comes when you love yourself and accept yourself as imperfect. When you reach that point, you can see other people as they truly are, imperfect but carrying the seed of divinity within.
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