So...where am I?
Assuming you mean on the Internet, you're on the CCJ Frequently Asked Questions page. Otherwise, can't help you out. Try a road map or something.

What's this CCJ thing, anyway?
CCJ stands for the Cow-Covered Journal. CCJ is an online humor site, started in 2003.

It's not about cows?
No, that's a common misconception. You see, the original Cow-Covered Journal (it was a written journal before it was a website) was bound in cow-patterned fabric. And our mascot is a cow--CCJ Cow. The site is about providing hilarious articles for you to read. Cows are more of a theme, really.

Where's the funny stuff, then?
Check out the links on the menu to your left. There's the Articles page, containing all of our original parody and satire articles. There's also the new Jim Smith Archives, a collection of ridiculous old stuff and our commentary on it. Once you get to one of those pages, the funny is just a mouse-click away.

You call that funny?!
You think you could do better? All right then. We welcome article submissions. E-mail one as an attachment or text to [email protected], or just e-mail us to request a mailing address. Chances are, we'll post it on the articles page for everyone to read. Who knows? It could be your big break!

Is CCJ Cow single?
He is. If you are a single female cow, non-smoker, 18-22, CCJ may be interested. Enjoys alfalfa and long walks in the pasture. BOX 358

Whatever happened to CCJ Defenders?
Oh yes. CCJ Defenders was a computer game created a while ago by the CCJ staff. It featured our mascot CCJ Cow trying to save CCJ headquarters from Cowmunist infiltrators. We'll try to get it back up for download soon, and a second version is in the works (though it's progressing very slowly).

How frequently do you update?
As frequently as possible. We realize that's a shifty answer, but it's true. Months have passed between articles on occasion, but sometimes there have been three or four or more at a time. As a general rule, we try to update once a week.

The Daily Ficus?
The Daily Ficus is a blog created by frequent CCJ contributor Jon Willer. It's been tearing society and pop culture a new one since 2005. Most CCJ fans have enjoyed it -- check it out.

Your site doesn't look right!
Well, if that's your personal opinion on our design, we regret to inform you that we don't really care. But if pages aren't loading properly or pieces are out of place, that's a real problem. First of all, check your screen resolution. CCJ was created with a screen res of 800x600, and it will look best with that setting. Otherwise, we might have made a mistake. E-mail us if there's a problem with one of our pages.