| Hark, time for a new page: one of THE RECORD OF OLD pointless thoughts of me I put on here at one time or another |
| 4/29/05 It's almost the end of this month... gosh it's been one heck of month... i'm so tired of things going wrong whether it's my band grade or just planning for things or just everything.... i just wish that some things could fall into place... gosh i was so close... but i am not mad about that.... i just wish.... why can't the world be perfect lol! .............. i really need to rework the layout on here, but heck, when am i going to have the time? |
| 5/13/05 okay, so i totallly really need to think of a name for this site.. and a logo... gee whiz! why does prom have to be on friday the 13th? i really just don't understand, and why is it now thundering? this is really frustrating, it had better be done by the time that i leave tonight.... grr.. i hope i have fun, i really don't know why i wouldn't... ------------------------ let me brainstorm some names for this site, tell me what you think of them in the guestbook or in person: *fallen star* * okay, how about NO *Ps* I can't remember where i was going with this one... except that i got cut off |
| 4/8/05 So yeah, it's Spring Break 05 right now. the most exciting out of town thing i did was visit purdue and skip school on friday, so i hope that it went well for ya'll back in good ol' fort lame. very interesting time i'll say, and learned a lot about things, however some of them weren't too academically related .......................................... okay so i can't find the picture i wanted to... of some sort of beverage, okay so that you all know, i didnt' drink or anything, i was just my sister's designated driver to a couple people's apartments... and i was offered a drink several times... but i knew that i couldn't.... but one thing does look quite fun, yet i doubt i'll ever do it: beer pong |
| The hope is lost, away from me It is tossed, but now I see It was dumb. How could I Now be so numb? I wish to cry But know not how. To find a way To go on now, oh things to say Why am I here? Why is what I want unclear? Why is what I feel confused? Why is it that I feel used? Why is it that My hope is lost? Forever tossed And forever lost are both my hope and I. |
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| THE LOAF's First Archive |
| 5/25/05 finally put a link to the conspiracy on the first page... will delete old link... will get to linking other people's sites soon **** came back from baclaureate and decided to stay up a little later and just fix a few things, for one thing moving the update notes out of the front page in an attempt to shorten it up.... **** okay, time to call it a night..err.. morning.. was going to work on other pages than this one but to tired.... |
| May 27, Graduation Day!! almost out of here.. but not quite... haven't done much on the site today but did a couple of things... i really hope i have the time this summer to fix the other pages and add a couple more... oh yeah.. and the whole name thing... that'd be nice to have.. |
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| hmmm.. what have i actually done today, oh silly me, i forgot to put the date! 05-28-05 okay now that's out of the way... didn't do much on here, just added a couple of pictures and last entry to "The Loaf".. that's a fun page.. but basically i said goodbye to relatives and went to some graduation parties... makes me so glad i'm not having one... kinda.. either way, it ain't happening... but i think what we need to do is have a "phantom" party... that'd be so great! maybe i'll try to do something new with the band page... |
| May 31st, 2005 aww.. it's the last day of the month! haha make fun of adam! hehe... okay maybe i should actually do something... but you guys had better do well on your finals, gotta plan for the future, eh? i need to check on graduation parties on saturday to make sure i have plenty of time to come to the send-off party for Zak and Claire... have been working on "La Catarsis Dos" a little bit... an eeirier continuation of Meredith's life, a little darker than the first one already... I will post it when i have a little more done.. if you ask for it i will email it.... |
| June 5th and 6th, 2005 finally uploaded pictures... will do more later.... this computer is giving me so much trouble.... anyway... running out of time to be on here... will fix a few formating things later.... *** Picture link now moved to "my pages".. trying to fix a few format things... will work on logo later once i get the chance... |
| 6-9-05 really do need to get around to that logo.. it's so frustrating.... i know kinda what i want but can't do it.... so for now i shall just reveal the name.... and i really don't know what more to do here to the site... what good is any of it anyway? how is it helping those who come and visit... sure i guess some of it's interesting.. i just wish it had a little bit of a point... okay, i fooled around with the quotes page a bit.. no new stuff tho... will add to that too... if i can ever get a chace to be by myself on here without it being really late or me being really tired..... |
| 6/19/05 thank goodness for this watch, otherwise i could never know the date... gosh i'm so tired... maybe it's because i haven't slept in the same place for two nights in a row since sun-mon night... umm.. i'm going to put a couple new things on the "my life" page maybe..... yeah so the trip... well purdue was okay, until i signed up for this really hard schedule, but i'll be fine with that... it's just.... well the reason i went to illinois and missouri, well that's not so great... ummm...sigh........ i don't know if i can type it up or say it even if i were in person.... sigh..... but at least there's progress, and it's getting better, it's just so hard and i dont' know how i did what i did... **** oh yeah one good thing... THIS COMPUTER IS FIXED!! now i can edit this site from either computer!! yay!! **** okay, and i promise i'll get to typing up my stories tomorrow. it's just i've been exhausted today and even drove while i was too tired, but i knew my mom needed a break.. actually i'ts fun to play games with the truckers on a boring interstate ;) |
| June 22, 2005 okay, i know i'm stretching myself thin here, working on typing up my 8th grade story along with adding to and typing up both "La Catarsis Dos" and the other story, along with worrying about a name for it, trying to figure out a logo for this site, trying not to freak about my freakin hard schedule for the fall.... and everything else that's going crazy in my life... but i promise to later tonight type up the rest of the 8th grade story, about the falcon weapons and "POW" camp... and it is strange how a few of the things and themes from that 8th grade story (that was hiding in the pit of a room i have) are in my other stories........ like one of the lines.. if i haven't put it in "Dos" yet, i was planning on it soon... i put "Dos" up here in the Lit section, not much there and nothing more than i sent out in the first email of my stuff to the faithful story people........ |
| June umm.... whatever.... okay, so i finished typing my 8th grade story... sorry about the cutoff, but hey, that's where i ended back then... since i can actually edit this almost whenever i want, i might not put update notes each time.... but at least once a week i'll do some sort of shout out or something.... it get's to being a pain and i might forget to do it.. but except when i'm out of town for two weeks in July.. (grrr... i'm camping while HP&HBP comes out, but i'm not going to buy it right away anyway... i'll just borrow it from some kind and generous friend....) and when i go back to school, i'll try to, but i don't think i can do that much.... i don't plan to spend too much time in front of a computer screen, unless it's IM-ing or writing up emails if it's not class relatated.... i'll have to make up a site about my campus life and update that tho... that wouldn't be too much... hmm.... maybe i should start it now.... but then again, sleep seems good too, since it IS after midnight.. either way, i won't have a link to it until i'm down there.... [message written June 24th, early AM hours] |
| ~June 28, 2005~ okay, i decided to actually make a "college" page... at the moment, it's pretty stupid, but i'll work on puttin more interesting info as i get it, and if you want something there, or anywhere for that matter, just sign the guestbook and let me know, or email me if you want instead, whatever..... |
| THE PURDUE ALL AMERICAN MARCHING BAND WENT TO THE CONCORD MARCHING COMPETITION!!!! AND I HAD SO MUCH FUN!!!!!! |
| July umm.. 29th?, 2005 gosh i haven't been caring about the date in so long.... well, my trip was awsome, i'll have some good pictures to upload once i finally finish the roll, and i have some awsome pictures while white-water rafting that i can get sooner, but i left the CD with them upstairs... i'm ready i guess to be goin off, but i'm really going to miss it around here... and i volunteered to help out at verification day (my mom needed me) so i might end up seeing you guys next week..... |
| August 7/8, 2005 wow.. it really is the one week date... in seven days I will be gone from here and will have already had playing auditions.. Yikes! I have been practicing, but I do need to some more.... totally don't feel ready... and I still have to pack and email my roomate to make sure everything is going okay... so much to do, so little time! yet I don't want to do anything... and still have to take out the trash out tonight... but it's the last time in a long time!!!!! at least that's reasuring... okay I will do that after simpsons and get back and actually update.....***um i do really need to type up more of my stories, but i don't think i will until i get to school, since i have a lot of things to do to get ready! I'm so sorry!***redo |
| August 19th, 2005 k, so i made it into the marching band, as an "Alternate" which is actually harder than a reagular spot because you have to be able to jump in at any time to replace those who are gone due to class conflicts. however, i am pretty sure i'll still be there at Concord, and for all i know, that will be one of my performances. all alternates get to march at least twice for the games, and most likely more. i'll ask tonight at practice, but i'm sure i'll be there. and as an alternate you still march with the band down to the field from the pregame concert... and get to help with props and stuff, so i am excited, just feeling a little left out because i'm not in a rank. ( group of ten people, always march together and get to know each other really well! ) oh and there's a trumpet party tomorrow night, so that's going to be interesting! |
| August 27th, 2005 YAY! I found a countdown script! didn't know what time to put in so, just guessed and said 6:00 pm.... oh well.. i'll change it later once i figure out the time... i guess i'll type up more of what i've gotten written as far as my stories go, and write more... but i just want to finish my book right now. i really feel like a loser right now, staying in on a Saturday night and doing nothing but reading.... not even with the excuse of homework.... anyway.... |
| September 3rd, 2005 so I decided, that rarely does anyone ever sign MY guestbook. Therefore, what I am going to do is write in there between classes and at random times I am at a computer and want to vent or talk about anything relating to life down here in West Lafayette. So I will not be using up space in the Conspiracy guestbook by venting so much! And Suddenly I got inspired and wanted to change my front page too!! Totally love this background! Almost exactly what I always wanted to find! |
| September 11th, 2005 Wow. It has really been four years. Basically all I did as far as updating was to add the "I am an American" poem to my band page. (It is in a picture, so if it doesn't load for you, click the link and you should be able to see it, or if you want to know it, I can email it to you or post it in text with an edited picture.) Last night I remembered thinking about how four years ago, I thought it would just be a normal day. Well, as normal a day as Dwenger ever has. We would be in band class for a long time, since that was the time the sophomores were taking ISTEP tests. And there would be band practice, like normal. An average ordinary day. But that was not the case. People who hate freedom attacked innocent people. And caused great sorrow to all. It felt unreal. I remember Mr. G. telling us to turn the TV off, remember that in my church doctrine class we went and joined the junior morality class to watch the TV next class, then Spanish class we watched the news rather than Chanel One. And then I can't remember what went on in my other classes. Just that then we went on with band. That we went on, pushing forward despite the bad thing that had happened. I remember how sad it made me feel, made me weak and vulnerable. Honestly, I can really blame a lot of my problems on Ossama, simply because his attack made me want to find someone to look up to. I chose the wrong person. If you do not know who it was, there is no need to. If you do, then understand that the terrorist attacks affected my judgement freshman year, at least somewhat. I do not say that if 9-11 had never happened, I never would have followed that path, but four years ago today, I became lost and went the wrong way, and did not realize it until later, much later... But what I went through is nothing compared to those who lost family and friends when the towers fell and the planes crashed. I pray that all those who lost those they care deeply about can find comfort in knowing that they will never be forgotten, and that they will always be remembered. I pray that God continues to bless America, and that those who like to use terrorism or fear stop and realize there are better ways to get a point across than killing the innocent. |
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| September 18th, 2005 Wow, looking at the loaf, I realize how randomly I have it arranged.... I will reformat it... maybe... maybe later... At any rate, yesterday was so much fun at Concord. Six years in a row performing there! hehe.... craziness I can't believe I've been doing marching band that long! I really wish I could have seen you guys perform, but trying to get dinner in and getting ready to perform For you guys it didn't work out. But this just means when I visit your practice over October break that you guys had better perform your heart out for the final run through! It was so much fun to see you guys, can't wait to see you again, and come on guys, if you're going to Purdue next year, at least try out to be a member of the 'best damn band in the land'. I promise that it's worth it....!!!!!! |
| October 2nd, 2005 Yeah I really am not updating much... I just really don't want to do my homework and going to sleep by 9:00 sounds nice, but I don't know if my roomate will want to or not. Oh well... And I think it's time that this changed... It's so different here... It's like I miss the way things used to be, but things are great here too, so it's confusing... I really am going to try to go to sleep soon, but I am not quite sure if it will happen..... Man I wish I wasn't sick too... |
| if you're wondering the meaning behind "the loaf" don't expect an answer other than that i found the picture while updating and revamping my site and wanted to do something with it.... and this is what i came up with... |
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