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"Prolactin, sometimes known as the mothering hormone, has been shown to have a relaxing effect on the mother and to enhance the desire for contact with her baby (Lawrence, 1989: Sobrinho, 1993). Oxytocin, which is responsible for the let-down reflex during breastfeeding, has been called the love hormone because of its relationship to orgasm, birth, breastfeeding and bonding." (more-PDF)
 "Many nursing moms do cite how close and warm they feel to their babies when they breastfeed. It feels good. In Blum’s research, she discusses the intimacy and affection that is often passed between mother and child." (more)
"Scientists have suggested that male fetuses are more susceptible than female fetuses to stress-induced hormones and miscarriages early in pregnancy, though the exact reasons for that are unclear. Another contributing factor may be that stress reduces sperm motility, resulting in fewer males conceived, said Catalano." (more)
"Abstract: Male rats were exposed to prenatal (i.e. before they were born) or postnatal (after they were born) stress, or both. The prenatally stressed males showed low levels of male copulatory behavior and high rates of female lordotic responding. Postnatal stress had no effect. The modifications are attributed to stress-mediated alterations in the ratio of adrenal to gonadal androgens during critical stages of sexual differentiation. Specifically, it appears that stress causes an increase in the weak adrenal androgen, androstendione, from the maternal fetal adrenal cortices, or both, and a concurrent decrease in the potent gonadal androgen, testosterone." (more)
"Pillard and a colleague, James Weinrich, a psychobiologist at the University of California at San Diego, began to theorize that gay men are men who in the womb went through only a partial form of sexual and psychosexual differentiation. More precisely, Pillard and Weinrich theorized that although gay men do undergo masculinization -- they are, after all, fully male physically -- they go incompletely if at all through another part of the process: defeminization." (more)
Female Sexuality and Why I Like Boys
written September 21st, 2003
I've written countless thoughts over the years on my attractions to boys. As I've said before, if I were simply attracted to females, I probably never would have been quite so introspective. I spent years obsessing over my attractions, trying to understand why I was so drawn to boys with blond hair, blue eyes, and a tan. I separated out my (overly) emotional attractions to younger boys as part desperately wanting to be younger, part an attraction to colors, and part them just plain being attractive. But what about my hormonal attractions? That couldn't be as easily explained away, as I tended to want to view everything as some psychological or philosophical issue. Also, for a long time I was afraid of my hormonal attractions. Still, I spent countless time dwelling on attractions. I had to know why I was attracted to boys and not girls. I was never the type of person to label myself and move on. The only problem is that I kept overlooking the obvious source of my attractions: my mother and biology.

My mother rented kids movies to watch long into my teenage years. She would freely state how cute the boys were in various movies. It wasn't anything new. Women comment all the time about kids being "cute". And I could see what she saw. They were cute. Now, at the times, I just thought my mother was being strange when she would subtly or once almost insistently suggest that I go shirtless either in the car to or from the beach or just around the house. As she said, "You're a guy. You can do that." (Implying that she would take her top off if she could.) I had spent perhaps too much time with my mother growing up, so I knew she had odd quirks. Yet, I told these incidents to Joey a while ago and he explained the obvious to me: My mother likes boys' bodies and I was a boy. My mother and father have been together since they were 13 and 14. As I've said before, attractions don't change. She's had crushes on boys and teen males all her life (even before puberty). Well, let's just say she's not the only one who would want to see a boy or teen male shirtless. I feel the same way. In fact, many women share my emotional and hormonal attraction to boys. Many, if not most women are child-lovers.

Women feel and instinctive and highly emotional draw toward children, to nurture and protect them. Most men don't experience this. Women are physically aroused by young children and babies. The little faces and soft skin produce an emotional response and trigger an instinct to "mother" the child. Some women talk about the smell of babies, implying a pheromone response. Nursing women talk about how the sound of a baby crying actually helps them produce more milk and about the pleasure they gain from a child sucking on their nipples. All of this makes sense. Such responses to children are not unlike instinctual responses individuals have regarding sexual reproduction itself. Surely, at the vulnerable stage of infancy, a great deal of care is needed, so women were given certain desires to nurture and protect. And, not unlike sex, a physical and emotional pleasure is associated with using those "mothering" feelings. But, what about children as they grow?

Oddly enough, a woman's instincts to care for her child do not seem to naturally fade as the child grows and becomes self-sufficient. Many mothers miss the breastfeeding and other intimate parts of early childhood. Many children and teens are forced to "rebel" against their mothers or risk being smothered. This is especially true of boys, who are too different from their mothers and often loose the intimacy sooner. Remember, a woman both desires and derives pleasure from ":mothering" children. It is not an instinct that can simply be tossed aside, even when her child pushes her away.

Male and female sexuality are very different, so many of us males may have some trouble understanding this. Females, in general are more sensual. This is to say that women do not experience touch the same way as most men. For many women, tough can be more stimulating than sexual intercourse. That is why women make such an uproar over touch being so damaging. On a woman, one key erogenous zone is the nipples, which serve a primary function to dispense the milk produced in the breasts in order to feed her offspring. Female sexuality is two part, dominant and submissive. She desires to both care for and be cared for. Both in caring for a fragile life form and being seen as needing to be cared for herself, a gentle touch, lighter voice, and softer form (the "female form") are needed.

Now, what would happen if a male had these "mothering" feelings? After all, we already know how different male and female sexualities are. Now, many people, male or female, instinctively become gentler when they see a cute, round face with large eyes, but women typically still have the stronger nurturing instinct. However, this isn't always the case. Just as some women care about sex but not kids, some males exhibit characteristics of what we could commonly label as "female traits." Not just are some males less masculine in voice and build, but some also experience the same "mothering" feelings that women do. However, because they are male, those feelings react differently with other aspects of their sexuality (conception, child birth and rearing all being part of human sexuality). You see, while many women desire a strong man to protect them, many men desire a young and fertile woman to protect. This can be seen in contrast to female sexuality when you watch men drive by a high school and turn their heads to stare at the teenage girls while women drive by an elementary school and stare at the children. The difference is that the men were desiring to have sex with (fulfill their instinct to impregnate an obviously fertile female) what they saw. The women were not. Remember, women typically experience more sensuality than men. Women aren't as likely to desire to "push it" or even "do it" as much as simply "care for" and "cuddle". So, if a female's attraction to children is passed onto her son, he may experience both the female desire to nurture children and the male desire to seek out softer forms. After all, the soft features of women can easily be found in children. So, why don't men inherit the primary instinct of women--that is, the strong desire toward babies that mothers feel? You see, those two male and female instincts would be incompatible because babies are only mildly recognizable as human. As they grow and loose the awkward, chubby and squirmy appearance, they begin to resemble little people. Most men (of any sexual preference) are attracted to teenagers, who are simply adults that haven't lost their looks yet. Now, other aspects of female sexuality can also be inherited by males. For example, some males are very sensual, yet still desire women. They desire touching and foreplay and make the type of lovers that draw females to them. Many even experience the same strong eroticism on their own nipples as their female counterparts. No one aspect of female sexuality seems to be more prone to be passed on.

So, how do males inherit female sensuality or nurturing feelings? How do females inherit those feelings? The most obvious answer would be directly from your mother. As estrogen levels in populations around the world continue to rise, birthrates have dropped and, most significantly, fewer males are being born. One long term study suggests that stress in any population causes fewer males to be born because they would be born weaker. There are also studies which suggest that human sexuality can be effected by stress during key points while in the womb. Whether it's estrogen, stress, both, or something else entirely, it seems the most logical answer to where my love of boys comes from is from my mother. After all, she's freely talked about all the crushes she has on boys in movies yet never once mentioned ever minding a man attractive. So, my feelings are not innately unusual. The only unusual part is that those feelings belong to a male. Soccer moms and feminists may not be able to understand or accept male sexuality, but the sooner they understand that the males they most fear  and hate share some of their own feelings, the sooner we may all learn to accept one another. We are not alone. Even among our enemies, we are never alone.
 

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