Being a girl in high school is not as easy as it may seem. Teachers assign a lot of homework during the day and parents complain about how you are irresponsible and unorganized during the night. However no one really knows who I really am inside except for myself.
Many people who see me are led to believe I�m shy and afraid to speak out loud. That may true in certain situations but i like to think that I often need time to get accustomed to the way things work and time to learn how to be comfortable around people. It�s hard to come from a family that isn�t extremely social into a society that thrives on communication and social events. Mysterious is an adjective I use to describe myself because there are few people who know me the way I truly am. In many occasions I stay quiet and listen, for the fear of being humiliated by the words that will come out of my mouth. If you think this is bad you haven�t heard anything yet. When I was in Elementary school I couldn�t even talk. I would get so nervous and my hands started shaking. It was the worst part of my school experience.
I have found out that the feelings I experience and have experienced are a cause of anxiety or feelings powerless about future events. I would describe my self as a moody person that�s why I use angry, happiness, darkness, sorrow and confusion to describe myself. There have been a lot of events in my life that have made me this way. I wasn�t brought up with my parents as a child, immediately I lost something most children in this country have had and that is the love and care of a biological parent. I grew up with my grandparents who I would like to thank because if it wasn�t for them I don�t know were I would be right now. I met my parents, who I did not remember, at the age of nine. It was an uncomfortable experience because I didn�t believe they were my parents. They looked beautiful and sophisticated and I felt I was a person who deserved less.
My life wasn�t all sunshine, there was also abuse floating around my family and that is why I keep many of my feelings bottled inside. However, just a few years ago I found out that I could express myself trough writing. It�s been a great experience. I the future I wish to write something that will change people�s lives as writing has changed mine.
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�Rosa 2003