The Haunted Outhouse, Part 9

Book Three That Was Never Meant To Be

Chapter 76

Buffy went to her UT office the next day.  She hadn't planned to go back to work in the archeology department for several days, but the incomplete Decave search required conducting a liaison effort with the Texas A&M archeology department as well as Dr. Jeremiah Jacuzzi.  Buffy knew both very well, so she volunteered to make the necessary arrangements.  Dr. Maria Franklin had already made arrangements with the Texas A&M chancellor.  Jacuzzi was Buffy's.

Doubting that she would be able to reach him easily, Buffy tried the cell number she had listed for him anyway.  Someone answered, "I told you I'm booked up for OMTs right now!  Leave me alone."

Quickly, Buffy said, "Hey, doc, it's Buffy Campbell.  No OMT needed right now, whatever that is."

Jacuzzi said, "Boppy, you should be ashamed!"

Buffy said, "OK, I'll reconsider on the OMT.  You'll have to tell me what it is, though."

Jacuzzi said, "Don't try to evade responsibility for your guilt!  You know what I'm talking about!"

Buffy said, "Listen, doc, I'm here to help you out, and it sure looks like you need some help."

Jacuzzi said, "Never!  I will never receive assistance from someone so unworthy!  Untrustworty!  Unarcheological!  Unaggie!..."

Buffy interrupted, "Doc, I have money for you."

Jacuzzi continued, "...Ungrateful!  Untexan!  Un...  Yes?  How much money?"

Buffy said, "Ten million.  The check's in my hand."

Jacuzzi said, "Bondy, ten million is very possibly my favorite number, ten being a highly important multiplier, you see, million being a significant multiplier in its own right.  And if you are in Austin, I am separated from that check by approximately 210 miles.  Bossy, the latter number must be reduced expeditiously."

Buffy said, "Settle down and listen doc.  Here's the deal.  I hear that you think you've been fired by A&M.  Ain't so, doc, you have tenure, and a job.  You also have the artifacts you took out of the Decave, to take to A&M.  In addition, artifacts that you left in the Decave are being reserved for the same A&M collection.  A research project coordinating the UT and A&M Decave projects is being funded by UT - that's the ten million. 

"So, doc, get back to College Station, and you'll find a project waiting for you, and a budget of ten million.  There it is, go for it."

Jacuzzi said, "Bolty, that arrangement has promise, and I certainly recognize the promising characteristics of its most basic and, shall we say, intrinsic nature.  Of course I do.  However!  Consider an enhancement to that construction!  Ten million!  Dollars, that is!  Directly to me!  Better!  Same number, same project.  Different locations!  Artifacts and bank account!  Location, Barny, location!"

Buffy said, "Right, doc.  Location - College Station.  That's the deal.  Good dadgum deal!  Got it?"

Jacuzzi said, "Alas, Barly, if I should again trod the hallowed but hollowed halls of Texas A&M University, I would not then be able to pursue my invaluable pursuits where I cam currently pursuing them, given my lack of current propensity for dual-but-separate existence.  Not that my experiments with DBSE will cease.  No!  However, I have not yet attained the stage at which DBSE will indeed become fully functional, or, indeed semi-functional.  Therefore, Balty, I am faced with the ancient challenge - knowledge or mammon, the true or the material..."

Buffy interrupted, "Ten mill, doc.  College Station."

Jacuzzi said, "And then, there is this option, not that it is the only possible option.  What I could do, what I might do, what I would propose to consider doing, is returning to the institution currently known at Texas Agricultural and Mechanical University, that will someday be known at the Jacuzzi Archeological and Metaphysical University, moving myself, that is for the purpose of assuming a new and novel purpose!  A project!  A project associated with a unique and perfect collection of artifacts from an extraordinary cache of priceless artifacts known, in the vernacular, as the Decave!  And I could indeed pursue all of these pursuits armed with a monetary treasury of, say ten million United States dollars!  Yes!  Baldy, isn't that a stupendous conception?!  Yes! Stupendous!"

Buffy said, "Doc, you've done it again.  I don't know how you do it."

Jacuzzi said, "I don't myself!  It is always wonderful to see what will happen next!  And you, Barny, what is your current pedestrian concern?"

Buffy said, "Your glorious project, doc.  Oh, there's a personal thing I'm looking into.  Pretty eccentric I'm sure, but I think it's worth pursuing - trying to discover the symbols of my soul.  I know..."

Jacuzzi said, "Bochy, symbols are my life!  My current life, that is.  You know symbols?"

Buffy said, "Wow, I had no idea.  I have some understanding of how I might discover the symbols of my soul.  I'm not totally clear, but I think I'm getting there."

Jacuzzi said, "I must tell you all about them.."

Buffy said, "I want to hear!  For now, doc, it's very important for you to get to College Station.  Day after tomorrow at the latest, OK?  I'm sending the check over today, to the Chancellor's office.  He's promised to put it in your budget.  If you're not there, though, the deal's off.  It will go to someone else at A&M.  Don't blow it, doc."

Jacuzzi said, "That was my plan, of course,  I always have many plans being planned, here and elsewhere.  As it happened, this plan, to return to College Station within, oh, 33 hours, is exactly the plan that was being planned for this application, you see.  Therefore, I will indeed be moving in a direction that trends toward, aha!  College Station!"

Chapter 77

Since the A&M project seemed to be coming together, Buffy turned her attention back to her "symbols of the soul" search.  Although she sort of dreaded it, she knew a conversation with her dad would have to be a part of the effort.  She called his cell phone number.  Mosath Eyskin answered, saying, “Mosath here.”

Buffy said, “Hi, dad, it’s Buffy.”

Mosath said, “Great!  You’re out of jail now?”

Buffy said, “Oh yes, twice.  Jail wasn’t so bad, actually.  Anyway, dad, here’s a question for you.  If I asked you to name the symbols of your soul, would you have any idea what I was talking about?”

Mosath said, “Certainly.  I know all about them.  You might say I’m an expert in the field.  I would."
 

Buffy said, “Wow!  That’s great.  So, what are your symbols?”

Mosath said, “Gosh, I don’t know.  I’ve never thought about that.”

Buffy replied, “Well, gee, wouldn’t that sort of be the point of studying them?”

Mosath said, “Oh no!  Of course not!  Theory for the sake of theory, Buffy.  That’s the intellectual approach.  Don’t you know that?”

Buffy said, “I’m familiar with that point-of-view.  I want to discover my symbols, though.  Any ideas?”

Mosath said, “I could just tell you.”

Buffy said, “Really?  It’s easy?”

Mosath said, “Oh sure, it is for me?”

Buffy said, “But it’s not easy for you to name yours?”

Mosath said, “I’m sure it would be if I wanted to.”

Buffy said, “Go for it, dad.  I’d love to hear what you come up with.”

Mosath said, “I don’t want to.  I’d rather name yours.”

Buffy replied, “Well, OK, what are my symbols?”

Mosath said, “Potatoes and corn.”

Buffy said, “Tell me about them.  What do they symbolize?”

Mosath said, “I don’t know.  I just do readings.  I’m not doing analysis right now.  No time.”

Buffy replied, “So, how do you know my symbols are potatoes and corn?”

Mosath said, “That’s what I see when I do a symbols scan in my mind, while focusing on you.  It’s very simple.”

Buffy said, “I’m not following you at all, dad.  Would you get the same symbols if I ask you a week from now?  A month?  A year?”

Mosath said, “I don’t know.  Ask me then and I’ll tell you.”

Buffy said, “That’s fascinating, dad.  Listen, here’s another question.  How much of you do you think I inherited – how much of your core essence?”

Mosath said, “Gosh, I don’t know.  You don’t seem to have my talent for reading soul symbols.  That comes naturally for me.  If you can’t do it, I guess you didn’t inherit it.  Unless, of course, you’re repressing that talent.  But then, I don’t repress, so there goes that theory.  But then again, maybe you do have the soul reading talent, which would have come from me, of course, but you are also a repressor, which would have come from somewhere else.  So it goes.  Are you feeling inadequate, thinking that you haven’t inherited enough of me?”

Buffy said, “I guess inadequately informed is the way I’d put it.”

Mosath said, “I can understand that.  You must understand that not everyone can be as informed as I am.  Everyone who knows me thinks I’m wonderful and wonderfully informed.  Of course, there are some people who do not know me comprehensively, but they don't know what they don't know about me, you see, having limited capacities for acquiring knowledge.  Some of them do not see my wonderful qualities.  I can't be bothered with their limitations, so I simply do not care." 

Buffy said, “How about a reading on your symbols?  Please?”

Mosath said, “Oh, alright.  Beets and sushi.  That’s the reading.”

Buffy asked, "What kind of sushi?"

Mosath said, "Looks like salmon from here."

Buffy said, “Very interesting, dad.  Thanks.”

Chapter 78

Lucy felt refreshed after her nap, ready to face dragons and/or Decadians, if need be.

IS and St. Taw were still talking in the tiny Winnebago living room slash kitchen slash extra bedroom.

"You guys don't ever get tired of talking?"

"Just like you never get tired of target practice, darling." IS said with a smile.

"Are you hungry?"

The last word served as an alarm clock for the sleepin' Will B who said, "I'm starvin'!"

Thirty minutes later everyone was somewhat satiated with the cold cuts, chips, and beer that Lucy had put together.

St. Taw thought it was time to put IS's moon pie theory to the test. He said to Will B, "How about some moon pie for dessert? Can you share with us, Will B?"

"A Belly who don't share fud ain't worth a darn. That's what my mama always said." Will B reached into his overnight bag and took out four empty moon pie wrappers. He passed three around and kept one for himself. With the others just staring, he tore open the package, pulled out what appeared to be empty air, and put it in his mouth, and commence chewing and swallowing, and then said to Lucy, 'How about another one of them beers to wash a moon pie down?"

Lucy staggered over to the fridge and pulled out a brew for Will B. Even though she and IS had known about the empty moon pie wrappers, seeing it in action was still a stunning sight.

"Hot damn!", was all St. Taw could say.

+++

This is a tough one, St. Taw thought. The Bellys have fallen victim to the needs of the belly. But only highly evolved humans could substitute symbols for substance and find sustenance. Two powerful forces, the Belly belly and the Belly brain, have met in toe to toe combat and have fought to a standstill.

Was there any point in pointing this out to Will B? St. Taw didn't think so. Will B would think he was just joshing him. He would probably laugh and pull out another empty moon pie wrapper and go through the motions of eating an imaginary moon pie. Only, to Will B, the moon pie would seem quite real.

Extending his thoughts, St. Taw realized that the Bellys were suffering under Symbolic Overload, and their fate might portend the fate of all mankind.

St. Taw felt that he was on the planet Jupiter, its massive gravity weighing him down. Was this how it was all going to end?

Chapter 79

Will B had decided to eat one more moon pie.

"Mr. Taw, do you need me any longer? I need to get back to Dime Box tonight. It's Tuesday and I don't want to miss Pig and Cow Tossing on Main Street."

St. Taw, who had painful memories of the event said, "I think that's a good idea, Will B. There's not much left for us to do here."

IS said, "If you don't mind, Alex, I'd like to take the Tokyco book back with me. Lucy and I need to get back home."

St. Taw, feeling more and more abandoned by the minute, replied, "Sure, and I'll keep 'LA in 1642'. Be sure to give me your e-mail address before you go. I want to keep with your historical research."

Lucy smiled. Her real mission had been successful. IS was obviously now an accepted historian.

They decided not to have a final meal together at the Mathis B6. Too great a chance of being seen by Decadians.

After Will B, IS and Lucy had left, St. Taw lingered for awhile in the dark, secluded forest. What next?

Maybe there was no next. Even the here and now seemed shaky.

St. Taw had declined offers from both Will B and Lucy and IS for a lift to his car. He wanted to walk. Just walk. No WATTYing. He was tired of thinking. Wasn't thinking after all just another form of symbolizing?

But walking. That was real. Reality itself. And so what if he got tired, if his legs began to ache. Pain was real too. And more than anything else he needed some reality right now.

Don't we all?

Chapter 80

Buffy asked Dr. Maria Franklin if she could resign from UT, since the Texas A&M program seemed to be in order.  Maria asked her to stay on at least another month, if not longer.  Buffy agreed to stay on in her archeology department job, but dropped out of the UT graduate school.  She then asked Franklin if she could take off the rest of the week, without pay.  Franklin said she could take a "mini-sabbatical."  Buffy didn't know what that was, but she took it anyway.  She wanted to spend some time thinking of nothing but her search for the symbols of her soul, and try to apply that knowledge to her life.  She called up Bonnie and Jaguar to tell them of her plans. 

Buffy drove to Corpus Christi and checked into a hotel room on the Gulf Of Mexico.  She asked Jaguar to join her for the weekend, and he said he would come down Friday afternoon.

Alone in the hotel room, Buffy set up on telephone and her computer, seeking out information to inform her search for her soul symbols.  After three days, she had acquired a lot of information.  Then she sorted through the concepts she understood, setting aside the ideas that completely eluded her, and put together a rough outline of how she might apply the ideas to her life, and, if he was willing, Jaguar's as well.

Just past noon the next Friday, Buffy heard a knock on her hotel room door.  She opened it to find Jaguar, "Dadgum, you're early!  Come on in here!  I've missed you, darlin'!"  The room was filled with books, files, and hundreds of papers.  Buffy quickly tossed all the papers and files off the bed and said, "Come here!."  The two of them made love for over three hours.

After having dinner, Buffy and Jaguar returned to the hotel room.  Buffy sat on a chair beside Jaguar and said, "Now, let's talk!  I've got tons of things to talk about.  You know, Jag, we haven't done nearly enough talking.  That's why I'm here, to tell you the truth.  As much as I love your folks, when we're on the Belly Place, it seems like there's never enough time for us to just be together, the two of us, talking and learning things together, about each other and all sort of other things we really need to know."

Jaguar said, "I've been thinking the same thing, Buf, I really have.  You go ahead and talk, but I can tell you that I've got a big mess of things I want to talk about too.  I reckon we're gonna have us a big talkin'!  That's good.  Dadgum it, Buf, I like talkin' with you."

Buffy said, "Dadgum, that's great, Jag!  There's a whole lot I've got to learn about you, darlin'.  You're full of surprises, which is good in a lot of ways, but dadgum it, not all the time!  Speaking of that, I'll get the double-bustin' OM fine out of the way.  You know what I'm talking about?"

Jaguar said, "Double-bustin'?  Does that have somethin' to do with bubble gum or something?"

Buffy said, "No.  Jag, this is an OM rule you probably heard Bellys talking about the whole time you were growing up, but you just didn't pay attention.  At least, I'll bet your uncle D.B. mentioned it a time or two.  Anyway, baby, here's the deal.  Since you busted the OM bottle the other day, when you still owed almost a year of OM fine for bustin' the first one, you will now have to pay a double-bustin' fine if you drain another OM with me.  Now, from what I got from uncle D.B., Jag, that means that I can pretty well tell you what to do and when to do it for a full year!  I'm not kidding!  I'm not looking to be a complete bitch about this, but I'll just tell you what you'd be in for if you want to drain another OM with me, see?"

Jaguar said, "Dadgum!  I never heard about that!  Shoot, if you heard it from uncle D., I'm sure it's in the Belly Rules somewhere; he doesn't miss any of 'em that he likes, I can tell you that.  So, what the heck do you have in mind?"

Buffy said, "Well, like I said, I'm trying to restrain myself from going overboard here.  I'll tell you the first thing that I thought of, though - you'd have to breed with me every morning when I wake up, and every night before I got to sleep!  Every day of the year!"

Jaguar said, "Well, darlin', I'll just have to tell you that that there wouldn't be no hardship at all.  Reckon you'll have to put some other stuff in there to get me a fine."

To her surprise, Buffy found herself blushing, or maybe beaming.  She said, "Jag!  That's the sweetest thing anybody's ever said to me!  Dadgum, sweetheart!  Thank you!"

Jaguar said, "I'm just tellin' the truth, Buf.  Shoot, breedin' with you is my favorite thing there is!  I thought you knew that."

Buffy said, "Well, don't you ever hesitate to tell me!  On the other hand, if I can't that down as your fine, I'll have to come up with something else.  Oh, shoot, we'll talk about that later.  You've got me kind of flustered!"

Jaguar said, "Well, you just take a breath then, darlin', and I'll go to talkin' some.  Like I was sayin', I've been wantin' to get a good talkin' goin' between us.  In fact, while I'm thinkin' about it, I'm off all next week if I want it.  So, if we still have talkin' to do after Sunday, we can just stay here a while longer, see?"

Buffy hugged Jaguar, saying, "Dadgum!  I love this!  Shoot, I know I won't be through all this stuff I want to talk about by then!"

Jaguar continued, "Here's the first thing.  I know you'd like for me to move to the Belly Place, and of course, I know that for me to pay this new fine, it would sure be handy to be livin' with you, wherever that is, than to have to drive over ever mornin' and ever night.  We ought to be livin' together, somewhere, Buf, and I sure want to live with you, and you need to know that.

"Here's somethin' you don't know about why I haven't wanted to live on the Belly Place.  I'll get this out, and we can talk about the rest of it then.  You're right that I didn't learn a lot of Belly Ways when I was growin' up, now that I think about it, and I'll tell you why I think that is.  When you grow up a little belly Belly, you know early on that you're different, and that you're gonna have to leave the Belly Place to work at a sorry job.  It's not that you can't live there, but you can't live on the Belly Place and work there, doin' fudin'.  Well, you can't count on gettin' a sorry job close to the Belly Place, so that pretty well means movin' away.  The way I looked at it growin' up, if you're not gonna be a full-time Belly on the Belly Place, you're not really a full Belly, see.  So, from the time I was 12 or so, I've been thinkin' about gettin' away from the Belly Place, movin' to where I'd fit in better, with little belly folks.  Sounds funny to most folks I guess, but it wasn't funny to me.  I love my folks, but dadgum it, if you're not a big belly Belly, you're different, so it's made sense to me to live amongst folks where I ain't different, see?"

Buffy said, "I do see, Jag, probably more than you'd think.  I've actually been thinking about that very thing this week.  As different as we seem to be in a lot of ways, I think we're actually a lot alike.  I've never had a family to fit in with or not fit in with.  You've had this great family, but you didn't quite fit in.  What I've been thinking is that in addition to being a little belly Belly, you've had this interest in dirt and digging that I gather is unique among all Bellys, both the little bellies and the big bellies.  You're different.  I guess that's one of the things that attracted me to you, Jag.  We're both outsiders, I guess you'd say, though in different ways.    

"Well, Jag, that's not all bad by any means!  It's actually a very good idea to be outside a lot of stuff!  So, what I've been thinking is that maybe we'll find some ways to be outsiders, but together with each other while we're doing it.  What I'm getting at is some more Big Buffy Ideas, I'll warn you about that.  If you hear some things that sound screwy, I'm counting on you to speak up!  I really need you to rein me in on some of this stuff.  I think I've learned some things that are well worth thinking about, though, stuff we can use together.  Are you with me?"

Jaguar said, "Sounds fine so far.  I guess I won't have any choice if I drain another OM with you, will I?"

Buffy said, "Oh, I don't know about that.  I'm pretty sure your uncle D. would disagree with me, but I think there are some things you just can't order someone else to do.  Like sitting and talking for days at a time.  Either you like it, at least most of the time, or you don't.  I guess we'll know something about that in a few days, won't we?  Jag, I'm for just finding out how close we are in some areas that are real important to me, and in areas that are real important to you, and seeing what we can do to close some of the gaps.  I think some of the stuff I've been trying to figure out this week just might help us get some ideas about that.  Anyway, let's sleep on that, whenever we get to sleep, and I'll tell you more tomorrow, see?"

Chapter 81

The next morning, after Jaguar had completed his now mandatory breeding exercise with Buffy, they went down to the hotel restaurant for breakfast.  While eating, Buffy said, "I sure wish there was a B6 here in Corpus.  The breakfast is much better there.  The thing is, Jag, it's not quite the same, from one B6 to another.  So far, I've eaten at the Dime Box and Mathis B6s, and several dishes are very different.  There's no standardization.  Your uncle D.B. makes barbecue one way, and your uncle Bobby Bob does it differently.  They both taste good, but uncle D.B.s is much better.  If the best procedure were followed everywhere, quality would be more uniform.  Heck, as I understand it, the New York City B6 isn't even a B6, but a B7, and they serve dog dishes.  Wow, I don't know about New York health laws, but..."

Jaguar interrupted, laughing, saying, "It's just uncle D. that thinks they're sellin' dog in New York.  It's 'bagels', not the beagles that uncle D. has in mind.  Everybody's tried to explain it to him but given up.  When uncle D. gets something in his head, you might as well get used to it.  My cousin Bernice put up that New York B6, or B7, now that she's added the bagels.  I've been up there, and it's pretty good.  You're right, though, the barbecue isn't nearly the same.  Toward the sorry side, to tell you the truth."

Buffy said, "Well, Jag, one of my ideas, for myself, and maybe you too if you're interested, is to research Belly Ways and document them.  B6 recipes and preparation techniques are some of the first things that really need to be formalized if you ask me.  No one has so far, but I'm sticking with my ideas anyway!  I'll get back to that later on, see."

After breakfast, Buffy and Jaguar returned to the room for more talking.  After they were seated, Buffy said, "Now, I'll tell you about some of the things I've learned about over the last several weeks.  You know about the "New Age" movement, right?  Not a very accurate label really, since most New Age concepts are very old.  I'm sure there's plenty to learn there, but it's not new.  Well, what I've been discovering is a body of theory that is pretty new for the most part.  I call it "New Stage," a body of thought that takes conventional thinking to a whole new level.  This idea you've heard me talk and talk about, that you can discover the symbols of your soul, is a New Stage idea.  The Order Of the Ten orthodoxy we both know about from the Decave artifacts is also a part of it.  Decadianism isn't new, of course, but since hardly anyone knows about it, I classify it as New Stage.  There are many other New Stage schools of thought.  I don't think I really understand any of them, but then, there's a lot of stuff I don't understand, Jag.  Your uncle D.B. says I have the gift of OM fines, seeing how I 'hit the jackpot', as he says, with your double-buster.  I don't know if that's it, or I just got lucky.  One thing I'm sure I do not have a gift for, though, is understanding esoteric spiritual ideas.  I'm pretty well clueless about most New Stage concepts, but I do get some of them, and they're actually very exciting. 

"The main thing I'm interested in, as you know, is discovering the symbols of my soul.  I got really lucky and got a couple of e-mail addresses for one of the leading experts on symbols of the soul theory, Dr. CM.  I don't know anything about him except that he calls himself Dr. CM, and he lives in North Galbutt, South Carolina, as I recall.  I sent him an e-mail question, thinking he'd just blow me off.  He wrote back!  In fact, he answered several of my questions.  I didn't really understand much of what he had to say, though.  I think I didn't get enough to qualify for even novice soul symbol searcher by the standards of his school, because my e-mail notes started getting bounced back after I'd told him about a lot of stuff I didn't understand.  I'm thinking he has a 'dummy filter' on his e-mail server, maybe.  Can't say I blame him; I could tell I wasn't a very good student. 

"Well, you take what you can get about all this where you can find it, and then look somewhere else, is what I'm thinking.  New Stage is another area that could use some documentation.  I don't know if I'm up to taking that on, but maybe I can do something with it sooner or later once I get a better handle on what some of those concepts are all about.

"Anyway, about the symbols of your soul.  What this means to me, Jag, is finding out the same things everybody talks about when they say they want to 'find themselves', but get it down a lot more precisely, see?  In other words, instead of just looking at a patch of dirt for a while and then taking guesses, I want to really find out what's down there, at least as much as I can, and hopefully a lot more than vague guesses.  Does that make any sense?"

Jaguar said, "Dadgum right it does, Buf.  Heck, I never put it like you do, this symbols of the soul bidness, but I've been wondering about that dadgum near all my life.  It's this little belly Belly thing, see.  I'd be in Belly Heaven doin' big belly Belly fudin' work, but I just don't have the belly.  But, shoot, I've never had the first bit of interest in doin' the sorry jobs.  I guess that's how I became a dirter.  It wasn't something big belly Bellys were doing - it wasn't included in the fuding jobs - but still, it's darn sure working with the land.  Right smack down to the land!  What I've been thinkin' all these years is that I've got me a big belly inside, but a little one outside.  That there's a problem!  Well, shoot, maybe there's other stuff in there that I don't know about.  I've sure been makin' me some sorry guesses lately about that.  I'd like to do me some diggin' if you can tell me how."

Buffy replied, "Great!  Darn, Jag, it's really exciting to know we're both looking for roughly the same thing, at least that's how it feels to me right now.  This is going to be fun!

"Here's what I know about soul-searching, more or less.  One school says you do it by somehow getting a reading on the nature of your soul, directly.  A mystical writer named C.M. Neumann seems to advocate that approach.  Dr. CM's technique is similar, I think, but even more esoteric.  Way over my head.  Heck, yesterday he sent over instructions on how I could get a reading on my soul information.  I don't know if that was supposed to give me a soul reading or not; his terminology isn't easy to understand.  Anyway, I would up tipsy from drinking a six-pack of Old Milwaukee beer, not quarts but the 12 ounce cans, and then, when I tried to do a chant he prescribed, I wound up throwing up.  Jag, I'm just not cut out for that kind of research!  Plus, like I said, I just don't think I have any talent for the approach.

"There's another approach that I think makes sense for me, and maybe you too.  The idea is that you discover your soul symbols by pursuing a lot of physical tasks, really getting into them, and see what you're good at.  In other words, you get readings on what's inside by looking at what you do best on the outside.  That sounds like my style!  I guess I do theory well enough when it comes to doing academic work, but I need to see some kind of real world results sooner or later, or I just don't connect personally. 

"Anyway, about the physical approach to discovering soul symbols.  Take you, Jag.  You've gotten into dirt, really gotten into.  You know how to dig holes, ditches, tunnels and who knows what else, how to plan the digging, how to deal with digging complications, and so on.  You've focused on the skill set and mastered it.  You know you know dirt.  You also know breedin', I can tell you that!  Now, maybe you've mastered other physical skills that I don't know about.  But those, two, dirting and breedin', are two of many different physical tasks out there that you may or may not have talent for, a high level of talent.  Discover some of them, and you begin to get direct clues about the symbols of your soul.  That's the general idea."

Jaguar said, "I like that idea, but here's the problem, Buf, we're back to my little belly again.  I have it in my mind that I'd be dadgum good at raising livestock, farming, and doing all the other Belly fudin' stuff.  Can't do it, though, unless I go against Belly Ways.  I don't think you want me to do that, and I can't say I want to myself.  Well, that leaves a lot of physical tasks out there that I can't do, whether I'm real good at them or not."

Buffy said, "I know what you mean.  Here's my idea; I don't know if you'll think it makes any sense or not.  Looking at myself, I'm a little belly, I've never done much of anything a lot of things that were particularly physical and I have no idea if I'll be very good at mastering physical tasks.  I pretty well have 'sorry job' skill sets, in other words.  I do research and writing pretty well.  Well, Jag, Belly Ways could really use some research and writing, to get the Ways recorded and even standardized, otherwise, the Ways will become meaningless and ineffective as time passes by, and then they'll disappear. 

"So, how about this.  How about if I pursue Belly Ways, including fuding skills, enough to understand how to do them well, and document the range of techniques, identifying the best ones?  For example, study the various ways B6 barbecue is prepared, and get the best recipes recorded and distributed?  Do you see what I mean?"

Jaguar said, "I think so.  Problem is, it sounds like you'd be scratchin' the surface here and there, but not really mastering anything.  I'm sure you'd do a fine job of makin' books and what not, and that would be a great thing for Belly Ways.  But how do you discover the soul symbols, Buf, if you're not sticking with something long enough to find out how good you are at it?"

Buffy said, "Good question.  Here's my idea.  I figure if you explore a physical task enough to be able to describe it in enough detail to tell other folks how to do it, you'll get some decent ideas about whether you have some talent in that area.  You probably won't know for sure, but you'll have some well-informed ideas.  Well, Jag, there's not enough time in a lifetime to give a year or two to every possible physical task.  I think you have to do some scanning and surveying first, to get some ideas about where you might want to specialize, see?"

Jaguar said, "That makes sense.  Still, for someone like me, there wouldn't be any point in even looking at jobs I won't be allowed to do full-time, would there?  Finding out about them for this book you're talkin' about is OK, and I guess I could get into helpin' out with that, maybe.  Get that done though, and there's no point in figuring on comin' back to it later, 'cause it would be against Belly Ways, see?"

Buffy said, "Yes, I do.  I don't know that that would be an insurmountable obstacle for you necessarily, but it is a problem.  Let's step back from that for a minute though, Jag, and take a 'big hole' look.

"Darlin', thanks to your exceptional instincts with the Mathis dig, making the Decave discovery, we don't have any money worries, and probably won't have any for a lifetime, as amazing as that seems.  I know you're not big on money, and I'm not either, but not having to work to make a living makes for a different set of opportunities, and, arguably, and new set of responsibilities.  What I mean is, the money's there, not being spent, and it probably ought to be spent on something that will produce worthwhile results for folks, at least that's how it seems to me.

"So, the truth is, we could do just about anything we want to do.  I mean, as I understand Belly Ways, you could go into fuding work somewhere else, away from the Belly Place, and there wouldn't be any problem, right?"

Jaguar said, "Oh, maybe.  It would seem like cheatin' to me, but I guess that's about right.  Get off the Belly Place, and you're pretty well into 'sorry job' territory, whatever you do, I reckon.  Shoot, Buf, I don't want to do that.  Do you?"

Buffy said, "No, I don't.  My point is that we're free to do just about anything, thanks to having some money.  The question then, is what we're going to choose to do.  This works into the soul symbol search, as I'm looking at it.

"So, think about this.  How about if you get some insight into what your soul symbols are, but you don't limit yourself to those.  You find out what's there and build on it, teaching your soul new things, adding symbols?  See, the idea, as I think I understand it, is that the soul isn't limited to having one set of characteristics for a lifetime, but that it can change and learn, depending on how a life is lived.  In other words, you find out where you are, and then deliberately begin to take yourself, and your soul to new places for the purpose of doing worthwhile things that will help folks, see?"

Jaguar said, "I guess so.  Like, I could set dirtin' aside, and start doing sorry jobs instead, even though that's not what my soul wants to do, and tellin' that soul it better get with the new program?"

Buffy said, "Right, I guess that's about what I'm thinking."

Jaguar replied, "Well, I don't know, Buf.  Maybe I could do that, but I doubt it.  What I like to do is stick with one thing long enough to learn everything there is to know about it and get as good as you can get at it.  I just don't think my soul would take to new ways is what I'm thinkin'."

Buffy said, "Well, darlin', that's roughly what I've been thinking too.  Here's what I have in mind.  Suppose you sample some Belly Way jobs, just to get information about how they are done the best way, and we'll work together on documenting them.  Then, you find a new job skill to specialize in, something different from dirting, that, like dirting, fits through a Belly Way loophole.  I don't think it would be that hard, Jag.  After all, dirting itself is sort of an odd loophole, when you think about it.  I really think there are all kinds of possibilities.  As brilliant as Belly Ways are in a lot of respects, there are some gaps in there as I see it, between the way they worked when they were developed and how they fit current conditions, now that times that have changed.  They have to be updated, I think, or they won't fit at all and they'll become irrelevant.

"In other words, what I'm proposing is that the two of us do what we can to advance Belly Ways, and that we each do it in ways that fit where our soul symbols are now, as well as where they can be reasonably led.  Furthermore, maybe we even begin to advance New Stage concepts, to the degree that Belly Ways are a fit.  Am I losing you?"

Jaguar said, "Pretty well!  I'm not seeing the big hole at all, best I can tell."