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Why I Hate the French (Lyrics)
These lyrics are from the Live in Belfast performance.
Alternative lyrics are supplied in italics underneath the lines they were meant to replace.
We offered kindly to donate them Calais
And all they gave us back was the bidet
And now they won't let us go on holiday
They bottle bath-water [or 7 Up] and call it Perrier
They eat poor froggie's legs then throw the rest away
They even like the look of Johnny Holliday
They eat raw garlic and invented croquet
They think the height of chic is John Paul Gautier
That's why I hate the French, mmm,
That's why I hate the French
They all wear berets and they're all called Jacques,
They even steal from us the words they lack
Le weekend, Le Camping and cul de sac
That's why I hate the French, oh,
That's why I hate the French.
They claim their films are the best we've ever had
Well I suppose Emmannuelle wasn't bad
All their songs sound more or less the same
La la la la la la la la.........je t'aime
Charles Aznavour is always so depressed
Wouldn't you be if oui oui meant yes?
Sacha Distel has raindrops falling on his head
I wonder if Jean Paul Sartre knows he is dead
What I resent is that they're so good in bed
That's why I hate the French, oh,
That's why I hate the French.
They bake their bread in such a naughty shape
They brag about their wine and worship the grape
They criticise our food but then they eat crepe
That's why I hate the French, oh,
That's why I hate the French.
And now they started coming here in droves
French cigarettes, French letters and French clothes
For breakfast they have croissant or French toast
And there's always some French letters in the post
I'm sick and tired of eating all this brie
A day trip to Boulougne is fine by me
And I'll be buggered if I go to gay Paris.
They're pretty cocky 'bout their games in the dark
They think with girls they light a special spark
But look what the bastards did to Joan of Arc
That's why I hate the French, oh,
That's why I hate the French, mmm,
That's why I hate the French.
You can not say, this song sings about the superiority of the French, rather it criticizes the French and says that's why he hates the French. If you read the lyrics carefully you'll know that every French-like habit has been tackled and their very basis of confidence and arrogance has been denied. Then why did I pick this song to show, where I should be emphasizing the advantageous points of French in order to persuade you into using it? Look at the lyrics. It paradoxically implicates how the French are proud people, how obnoxious they are. That's exactly what we're going to pick up through this site. How to be proud and obnoxious using the French way with French.
Here I'll stress the advantageous points of French in order to convince you how French could be and should be used to appear arrogant and cocky.
�� French, along with English, is the official working language of many well-known international organizations. A significant proportion of the delegates to the United Nations are known to express themselves in French.
�� French is highly preferred and used in the fields of literature, thought, diplomacy, science, technology and economy, in order to look professional and aristocratic.
�� French is the language of some of the most richly developed cultures in Europe. After the Norman Conquest it was the language of the rulers of England. Ever since, it has held pride of as one of the most important modern foreign languages for English speakers.
�� In many english novels about love stories, French is frequently used in conversations between lovers. Its pronunciation is beautiful when heard qualifying it for the 'love' language.
..What do you say, wanna try?!