A critical event in my life would be my father dying when I was two. That must have severly affected the person that I have become. Growing up, I always wondered what would be different if he was alive. Would we still be visiting my grandparents(his parents) every summer? Would we have stayed living in the same town? Would I have been different, more talkative, more confident? Not to mention being raised by my mother has given me experiences and taught me things that I couldn't have learned had my dad been around, so of course that would affect the person that I am.
Another critical event would be my sexuality and coming out to myself as well as the people around me. Knowing my sexuality has changed me though it may not be noticeable to the outside world. I am happier and content with my life. Knowing has answered questions of why I was different from my friends when I was growing up. And coming out to people has shown me my strength and my resolve to live my life in a way that I am happiest and not care whether people think it is wrong for me to love another gurl. Though at the moment of coming out I get scared and start worrying that what I am about to say will change my relationships, I do know that I can survive if people turn their backs on me. I have found through my sexuality that I am not dependant on what others think of me in order for me to be happy with who I am.
A critical decision, though it may not be one of the seven, was to not move home this year. I lived at home until a month before my nineteenth birthday when I moved away for college. Then I moved back home for the summer and again moved a month before my twentieth birthday for another year at college. This year though I decided not to move home. It was time for me to live alone and become fully independant, something I greatly needed. And though I am now struggling because I have yet to find a job and money is starting to worry me, I needed and still need to live on my own. Home life was good, but I felt as though I was being held back from realizing my full potential because when I am constantly with people I don't do everything that I want. Whether simple things like cooking or finding my creativity, to bigger things as being myself without thoughts of what people think, I was holding back and doing only what people expected of me and not what I really wanted or should have done. I may be no different when I am around people again, but when I am alone I am the real me.
A critical person in my life would be Lisa. She has helped me in so many ways and was there when I finally answered my sexuality. She has made me see who I am and what I am capable of, she has given me courage and filled my heart with love. It is because of Lisa that I see I don't need the acceptance of others because no matter what they think we know our love is not wrong and nothing will change how we feel for each other. She believes in my future success as a writer. She has helped to open me up and I tell her everything when before I kept everything inside. I am happier because Lisa is in my life and only have the occassional bad day when before I was only having the occassional good day.
I still have much more to learn about life and myself and I'm sure I will never stop changing and growing until the day I die. The remaining critical aspects of my life are still to come or some may have come without me realizing they were life altering, but someday I may know everything that has helped to make me who I am. Until then I am happy knowing what I know and satisfied with not knowing everything.