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Jazz, though I can't be there today to hold you in my arms and watch you as you grow and each day that passes I miss more of your life, you are always in my heart and on my mind. I may not be there when you start crawling, or see the first time you pull yourself up by the furniture. I might miss your first step, the first time you walk across the room into Lisa's arms, and the first word you speak. I might not be there at storytime, bathtime or bedtime, but I will be there when you need me. Whether thousands of miles away or just in the next room I will be there for every step you take, and for every stage of your life. I will be there for the happy times as well as the sad. I will be there when you feel love and when you feel pain, and I will be there when you want to talk and when you want to yell. I will be there to keep you standing and to catch you when you fall, and no matter what you choose to do throughout your life I will be there to support and encourage you. And if at times it seems that I am mad and you question my love, know that my love will never falter and will never leave your side. I will tell you each day that I love you and that I couldn't picture my life without you in it, and that I would never want a life without you. In my heart you and Lisa are my family and someday we will be living as such.
Right now I am a stranger to you and wish each day that, that was different. I wish that I had been there when Lisa brought you home so we could have known each other from the beginning, but you have had my love from the start if not my arms. When I physically become a part of your life I will still be a stranger and I hope that doesn't cause you to shy away from me. It may take some time for you to get used to me being in your life, of being there when you go to bed and there when you wake up, but no matter how long it takes for you to get used to me I will be there to help you along the way and do all I can to not only have us be a family but also friends. I want you to know that you can come to me with anything big or small, a scraped knee, a cut finger, a broken heart and when I can't kiss the pain away or cover the mark with a winnie the pooh bandaid I will hold you till the tears stop and the wound heals overs.
I promise you that whatever happens in life you are and always will be my little baby angel. You are more precious than the grandest diamond and more a part of me then you'll ever know. |
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