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some entries have been taken from various diaries of mine
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2001-12-31 - 2:00 a.m.
how'm I gonna do it?
I think I might tell Melissa and Raj seperately, specially since me and Mel will be home a couple days before the others, unless her mom comes with us, even then she won't stay more than a day or two probably. I'll tell her that I want to talk. I've never been good with expressing myself verbally but tonight I am going to be completely honest about myself (maybe down a Shirmnoff Ice to relax) and then tell her. Explain it has taken a long time, has occupied my every waking minute and some of my sleep. When I stare out the window or gaze off into space I am thinking about it, when I fantasize I fantasize about being out.

I just want everyone to know who I am so they are friends with the full me and not only the part they knew before. I think she will accept it, in time at least. I'll tell Raj when she gets back. Maybe Kiran at the same time so Raj doesn't get tempted to tell Kiran before I do. I totally trust her but I can see how it might slip or be too big to keep to herself. Raj should accept it by the way she was answering my questions, but she could react differently than she thought she would. 'What ifs' are great but you can never know your real answer/reaction until you are in the actual situation. Kiran I haven't a clue how she would take it, hopefully she is open minded.
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