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"Those of you who object to logging should try using plastic toilet paper"
"I believe in gun control - use both hands."
"If worthless men are sometimes at the head of affairs, it is, I believe, because worthless men are at the tail and middle."
"You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think."
"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair."
"Everyone says liberals love America, too. No they don't. Whenever the nation is under attack, from within or without, liberals side with the enemy. This is their essence."
"Perhaps if conservatives had had total control over every major means of news dissemination for a quarter century, they would have forgotten how to debate, too, and would just call liberals stupid and mean. But that's an alternative universe. In this universe, the public square is wall-to-wall liberal propaganda."
"A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both."
"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."
"A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away."
"If you tell a lie long enough, loud enough, and often enough, the people will believe it."
"What luck for the rulers that men do not think."
"The great masses of the people... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one."
"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use."
"Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally."
"I now leave, not knowing when, or whether ever, I may return, with a task before me greater than that which rested upon Washington. Without the assistance of the Divine Being who ever attended him, I cannot succeed. With that assistance I cannot fail."
"How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg."
America is... "Too soft to place a killer in a well deserved tomb,
but brave enough to kill a baby before he leaves the womb."
"Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote."
"To call Michael Moore�s Fahrenheit 9/11 a confused mess would be to dishonor confused messes. It�s basically a lie masquerading as a documentary."
"Yes, it is a wonderful dream to sit down with dictators and terrorists and join hands, singing Kum-by-ah and talking of world peace. But it is not real. We did not stop Adolf Hitler from taking over the entire continent of Europe by simply talking to him."
"Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame."
"The difference in spending habits between government and a drunken sailor is, at least a drunken sailor spends his own money."
"When you see a rattlesnake poised to strike, you do not wait until he has struck before you crush him."
"A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss; in the Republican Party he is a leader."
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