- Q: What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
A: The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
- Q: Why did the redneck cross the road?
A: Because he coundn't get his dick out of the chicken.
- A girl and a boy were at the back of a movie theater, kissing passionately. When they came up for air, the boy says, "I really love kissing you, but do you mind not passing me your chewing gum?"
To this, the girl replies, "It's not chewing gum, I've got bronchitis".
- Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
- Q: What is a redneck virgin?
A: A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.
- Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
A: Hypothermia
- Q: What's the worst thing about eating vegetables?
A: Putting them back in the wheelchair when you're done.
- Q: Why is President Clinton so reluctant to decide the fate of Elian Gonzalez?
A: Because last time he made a decision about where to put a Cuban he was almost impeached.
- What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is using a feather . . . kinky is using the whole chicken.
- What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"?
About three inches.
- What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?
You can't hear an en-zyme.
- How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One . . . Men will screw anything.
- What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with
the other is used to carry groceries.
- Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
- What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
- What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka.
- Q. If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the prostitute?
A. The one that's labeled "I-DA-HO"
- Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
- How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take todo the dishes?
Both of them.
- Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
- Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They won't stop to ask directions.
- How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
- Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know; it has never happened.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
- When do you care for a man's company?
When he owns it.
- How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
- What did God say after creating man?
I must be able to do better than that.
- What did God say after creating Eve?
"Practice makes perfect."
- What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
They're married.
- Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says:"So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
- Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.
- Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
A: Say, "Nice dick."
- Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts.
- Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A: A bingo machine
- Q. How do you get fifty old ladies to say the word "Fuck" all at the same time?
A. Have another one yell "Bingo!"
- Q. What do Nearsighted Gynecologist and Puppies have in common?
A. They both have wet noses.
- Q. What's white and 10 inches long?
A. Nothing
- Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?.
A: A different bar.
- Q: Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A: Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
- Q: What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A: A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.
- Q: What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
- A: A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this chit...
- Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.
- Q.What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
A: 1 US leader.
- Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?
Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
- What's the best thing about a blow job from an Ethiopian woman?
You know she'll swallow.
- How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
The best ones squirt when you eat them.
- Why do Italians wear mustaches?
So they can look like their mother.
- Q. Why did God give man a penis?
A. So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
- Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?
A. Its Braille for "suck here."
- Q. Why do men die before their wives? <,br>
A. They want to.
- Q. Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
A. He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
- Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull?
A. Lipstick.
- Q. What's the difference between a woman and a coffin?
A. You come in one and go in the other.
- Q. What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
A. Money.
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