| more 106isms |
| if you don't know who these people are (or even if you do), you should go here first. |
| richard: what is she, like, 50? ka: yea, i think so. richard: so! what does it matter?! just studying east asian societies. you know, like UCLA --kelly-- kim: if we pass the class, are we like honorary Asians? i want something from this class...a badge or something laura: i wouldn't mind a facelift why do they say that? kyle has his own room. --laura (on why we say kyle lives in the closet)-- greg: flare guns disintegrate in the air kim: not this one greg: oh, must've been a dud kelly: i should've known i was drunk when i was chowing down on the salt & vinegar potato chips. ka: those were salt & vinegar? laura: why does it smell like rum in here? kelly: could it be the coconut air freshener? richard: who's rollin' up in the escalade? kim: it's ludacris [Lionel Luther gets out, sporting a band-aid on his facial] chris: it's nelly ka: ascoltato, alessio. kim: yo, yo alessio, peep dis. ka: non abbiamo i... kim: non abbiamo tempo ka: non abbiamo tempo per studiare per your shit. you're like a child --neil-- chris: where's greg? he's missin' out ka: mom and dad are sleeping. kim: i can't believe we're already using the racoon tail. neil: hey, speak for yourself...i'm using the racoon tail. homo erectus? is that like a gay guy with a boner? --neil-- greg: i slipped neil: they must've just mopped. you know what neil? i'm trying my best. --laura-- i feel very close to you right now. i think we should listen to "wind beneath my wings" --kim-- what is that sound...that was mom moaning...dad, did you give it to her right? --chris-- with your nose and my ears, we could be a superhero...that's the second funny thing i've said in 15 minutes. --ka-- i'll do all the homos...'cause i'm good at doing homos --ka-- kim: did you see how gracefully i fell off the chair, though? ka: no, it was more like a kamikaze dive. kim: yea, it was, wasn't it? it was that or be eaten by that spider... kim: i think my dad used to wear a pocket protector ka: but wasn't he like, the mountain man kim: well yea, but working at intel, you gotta protect the pocket...from the spillage of the ink be gentle with your ass...it's sensitive --kim-- hey chevy, we're in public --ka-- thanks for the advice. --richard/ka/kim (a la arnold) talking like yoda now i am --kim-- i put a black sock in the bleached whites...now it's brown. i'm such a failure. --kim-- kim: oh james bond...he's always...using his head. ka: he always was rather...headstrong. kim: of course he gets away. he has to live to die another day richard: yea, he lives because tomorrow never dies...damn! he has to live to be the head of a major cooperation because tomorrow never dies...i don't know. --kelly-- ka: next time i drink someone has to stop me kim: i'll write that down. ka: this is the gayest thing i've ever heard kim: i know ka: this is gayer than kyle saying he's straight kim: it's gayer than kyle buttraping someone ka: yes kim: it's gayer than the transvestite kim: my cat has risen to come to my aid ka: its about time, all this freaking out and this whole time youve had a cat to help you kim: he's actually purring! ka: how cuuuuute kim: and now he's done...yea, that was fun ka: like most men kim: i'd be so nervous trying to direct korn greg: no, you'd just be like 'jonathan, get naked.' kim: no, i'd be like 'okay, everyone start playing...jonathan, get in the car and we're going to vegas...to elope.' hope everyone got a good look at the trash. that was FACIAL and it shouldn't happen...now i know everyone generates trash, so it's no one's fault, but next time it happens i'm gonna personally slap your forehead. you can at least walk your happy ass down to the trash shoot. --richard-- <oasis playing in background: "that your hopes and dreams are shattered"> ka: every time i hear that line i think he's saying "the olson twins are hammered" kim: i saw their video today too. ka: the olson twins have a video? laura: one day those are gonna go through the wall. richard: we don't throw them out of a gun. you propose an interesting proposal --kim-- i hope that i'm never an invalid in your presence --laura-- kim: damn, he looks hot when he's angry. neil: yea, look at those firm butt cheeks. ka: you are an ass man! fuck this shit! --greg-- (discussing the orgasm) laura: when did you guys get yours? ka: you say it like it comes in the mailbox with a bow. 9 plus 5, what's that? like 13, 14? --laura-- they're not really floaties...they're more like sinkies --neil-- yes, you can sing it again, if you give me a sound-proof booth and some earphones playing good music --richard-- laura: he can't sleep with her! she has leukemia! kim: you know if you have lung cancer, and you cough on them, they're okay. why don't you bend over and sing that up your ass? --richard-- sometimes i feel like i'm your down syndrome friend --laura-- you don't go commando, laura? well then you're not invited to the 206 party! --kim-- laura, do you think god gave you an alcoholic roommate for nothing! --kelly-- kim: you really pissed that guy off. chris: he's gonna dump a bucket of curry on our window! and then i said 'go eat some curry', you know, like curry. --chris-- richard: i make my own icing. neil: okay richard, you need to go to your bedroom for the rest of the night. richard: that's what i was planning on doing the second neil said 'bedroom', i was like 'here it comes' --ka-- ka: richard, everyday your simon impression sounds more like arnold. richard: thanks for the advice...you should take our advice and not sing. she's got that 'i want to suck your dick' look on her face --greg-- Richard's Top 5 things to do after you fall off your bike in the middle of the intersection to ease the pain: 5. Pick the bike up and throw it on the hood of the car of the people that were laughing at you. 4. Pick up the bike and throw it in the middle of the intersection and flick everyone off as you walk off. 3. Gather up whatever pride you have left, yell "FUCK" as loud as you can so everyone knows you're pissed and not to fuck with you. 2. Lay there until an ambulence comes and then as they are picking you up, run away flicking them off and laughing at how they have to take care of your bike now. 1. Get up and start humping the bike to show everyone around you who the real bitch is. I chose to go with option number 3...I felt that by yelling "FUCK" really loud, I would save my pride. It didn't work....I suggest going with option number 1. kim: fuckin' viggo ka: he's like, 400 years old kim: 400 years. ka: he's living on pure will power jack daniels may make me angry, but it makes you a liar! --ka-- i'm never watching 'smallville' again! same time, next week? --neil-- www dot fuck mordor dot com! --ka-- kim: kyle told me about this movie, except he said chris tucker, not chris rock. ka: well, we all know kyle can't tell black people apart. ka: i can't drive right now. kim: you don't have a car. ka: i mean i can't go unless we drive. kim: KELLY!!! ka: i think she went to lunch with laura and her brother kim: are they getting food? ka: that's usually what people do at lunch. kim: fucking hookers! i'm in a full nelson and i'm trying to bake cookies. --chris-- kim: he's like, thumbs up ka: and i'm like, is it 'thumbs up 'she's old' or thumbs up 'i can look'? kim: i don't rape my dog because my wife ran away with her cousin ka: and my shotgun's out of ammo, and my tractor's not sexy, my cowboy boots pinch my toes...and i dropped my stetson in the colorado river. richard: she looks like pocahontas greg: i'll poc-a-hont her. i'm sorry, you'll have to excuse my friend. when she's tired, she tends to slur...racially. --ka-- greg: she was never my girlfriend kim: it was just a one night stand, right? greg: yes kim: she was beggin' for it? greg: yes you almost wish it was you he's punching, because he's just that beautiful --ka-- ka: she's blasting some ghetto shit kim & ka (simultaneously): wow. kim: what are we doing? what's that guy doing? ka: we should have our own show. kim: but then there's the guy with the face, the body, and the personality. that's the ideal. ka: who are we talking about? kim: i don't think he exists. chris was looking at me when i said that, and i was like, dude, get your own conversation. --ka-- yes, we need to hear that song, because we're IN a fucking river. --kelly-- he's such a poon job in sheep's clothing --kim-- oooohhhh god, i just listened to myself and i was like, oh wait, it's a screensaver, i'm not having sex. --ka-- richard: they should make boob-shaped stress relievers neil: they'll make nut-shaped ones for you, greg. appearing live? as opposed to what, via satellite? --ka-- kim: i don't get it ka: you can't drive an orange cone. that's hot. if you both got the same thing, i'd...what? --richard-- neil: would you call the singer goth? kim & ka: no neil: then he's clearly gay. if i was a homosexual guy, i'd be like 'ungh, X gonna give it to ya!'...or i'm a girl...please don't write that down--kelly-- taco bell guy: that's one *beep* taco kim: i think he's editing himself...he said 'i'll get you a mutha*beep* *beep* taco!' ka & kelly: dude, you got another call. alheimers isn't when you forget your memory --chris-- i'm not going to be able to go to italy...and this [crossword] is hard. --ka-- every group for a project has that one person who was born to be a business student...and a fag. --ka-- we just don't have very many 106isms lately...i really blame the lack of smallville...it's taking all our pimp juice --kim-- kim: it's like a doublemint ad...double the pleasure, double the fun ka: i'll double them! laura: can we stop with the 'smallville' commentary? ka: but we have all this pent-up commentary. hi, i'm tank, i'll be your operator tonight. --richard-- i want an oompa loompa...'cause they make candy. --richard-- |
| ka: this website is so... [35 minutes pass] ka: comprehensive. |