| 106isms |
| if you don't know who these people are (or even if you do), you should go here first. |
| i sit down for 5 minutes, and all i get is faggots singing. lollipops and candy canes. --richard-- richard: i had a beer in the shower kim: well, at least we know he's not masturbating in there you kept trying to spoon and i was like, bitch, i'm naked --richard-- it gives a whole new meaning to flying by the seat of your pants! --ka-- i'll drink to that! --neil-- what? wait...i can play with him some more --kim-- to be fair, they said there were 'people' there, not just girls...so there may be someone for greg, too --ka-- kyle, sit down. be normal. --laura-- all girls are cock teases. and if they aren't, they're lesbians. --greg-- i've been bulimic all my life, i know what bulimacy is --richard-- let's biznounce out of this pliznace on our biznikes --chris-- neil: they had already been drive byed ka: driven by? kim: drove by? kelly: droven by? greg: drived by? i was trippin' off kenny, yo! --kim-- sup derk? --kelly-- "the genius that was China"? this should be a short video --kelly-- kim: i'm gonna let all the blood rush to my head until it explodes and i've been put out of my misery ka: i don't want to have to clean up that sort of mess kim: just because you're my roommate doesn't mean you have to clean up my brains he should not be giving advice...he shouldn't even be giving DOGS advice...he should not even say, 'dog, don't pop a squat there.' --kim-- i gave it to greg...he said he digs nuts. --kim-- is that a brotha thing? --kim-- oh my god, Monicaaaa!!! oh, it's just the clock. --ka & kim-- ka: 'on till morning' is a long time kim: well is flying hard? ka: well, you have to keep thinking happy thoughts, so yea. kim: she was thinking how she wanted to spank peter's ass...he wore tights that phillip was a good man...the fairies told him what to do and he did it! not like that eric...what a dumbass. they fuckin' SANG to him for 3 minutes and he didn't to shit! --ka-- he was showing some monkey, and he was like 'this monkey is from east asia', and i was like, 'i can tell' --kim-- kim: so when he grew up, why wasn't he a black man? ka: because he was a lion! he was barefoot...and there was probably all kinds of debris on the forest floor, but it was worth it for her --kim-- that milk you just poured out was my only friend...it was there for me for three days --greg-- greg: what happened on friends? laura: they all died. look at that ass. he must work out. --richard on richard gere-- i'd be his bitch. i wouldn't be his gerbil, but i'd be his bitch. --ka on richard gere-- jason alexander is his gerbil --richard on richard gere again-- kim: smells like beef stroganoff ka: that's a big word for a saturday why do you guys keep slapping my forehead? --laura-- when i get drunk, my mouth is looser than sarah's chonch --ka-- your foot was bleeding at BETA? you could get herpes! --kelly-- ka: you feel like a compton gang bang? kim: no, i felt like i have been compton gang banged kim: you know the sex scene is on the dvd...deleted scenes ka: in the forest? oh yea you know they were gettin' it on...and you know what? you know she was on top, because even though there was all kinds of debris, he'd take a stick up the ass for her! kim: yea, use that sword of righteousness! ka: actually, it's a sword of truth. kim: right...wield that shield of righteousness! ka: isn't it the sheild of virtue? kim: they're both goddamn weapons of righteousness!!! if i don't, like, see him this week, i'll, like, see him next week --kelly-- greg: why doesn't he just kiss her? neil: because then there wouldn't be a wedding, and there'd be no priest with a boner ka: we could get drunk kim: and then i'll call ka: and then we can pass the phone back and forth and say things we shouldn't have what if i fell and lost a tooth on this ladder here. i'm going to lose something on this bed by the end of the year. -kim- kim: he called George Harrison a nipple. ka: well, what did the subtitle say? kim: nipple. my friends and I have been using SAT words in our away messages...like obligation. --richard-- kim: She had a list of questions, and was like 'some other TA made this a while ago. I was probably sleeping." ka: that's awesome. kim: yea she's all about the sleeping. ka: she wins. kim: yea she does. not like tod. he does not win. ka: no way. he's not even in the game. in fact, he's not even in the stadium. kim: exactly, he's not even a spectator. he's not even watching at home on TV. ka: hahahaha! he's not even a citizen of the country where the game is played. kim: hahahaha. that wins. ka: i have to say it. he's not even an inhabitant of the planet where the game is played. you met at cotillion....what, it that like jijitsu? --richard-- courtship rituals: male shakes branch and shows genitals...just like humans, alright. --kim-- i'm sure there are obese gorillas...and plants. --ka-- ka: why do i have the feeling that by the end of the night i'm going to be walking around in my underwear? kelly: i'll walk behind you and clap. ka: you'll walk behind and call me a tramp? ka: i'm not a big fan of _____ kim: me neither...she's always all up in my facial...well, she would be if she knew me. ka: tod likes to make up songs. "let's sing a song!" kim: "Pliocene, Miocene, la lala lala..." ka's away message: this evening, my roommate Kim and I reached a new level of studying. in a last ditch effort to learn the complex taxonomy of primates, we taped our charts to the shower door. oh yea people, no more excuses to not shower. this is multi-tasking at its finest. richard's response: now all you need to do is drink a beer in the shower while you study, now thats multi tasking there are like fourteen hundred little birds up in this piece. --ka-- but that's a whole other can of worms...it's actually more like 8 to 10 more. but i don't even want to touch that...it's gross. --kim-- why would richard be so obsessed with a skit about a gay black man? oh right, because his mentor is one. --ka-- i'll remember the word for decorating, because it's like the word 'adobe', only with 2 'd's and 2 'b's...so i was like, "i could decorate an adobe"...that's going on there, isn't it? i'm never talking again. --kim-- fu...it stands for fuck urself, because it's the most fucked up verb i've ever seen. --ka-- kim: richard, i might need a jack & coke tonight. ka: noooo!!!! richard: you come see me later. that's my name for his penis: 'babe, the big blue ox'. --kim-- this guy sounds like jar-jar binks --laura-- are you familiar with the swingers' lifestyle? --laura-- no, cute is good. hot is like, you're untouchable or i want to fuck you. cute is like, you're attractive and hmm....maybe more. --kelly-- ka: i feel really bad for the people who thought they knew it, but got it wrong. kim: hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! i'm out of gas money...do you take head? --laura-- yea, but, please don't burn my facial --richard-- greg: don't you love it when the car is in drive, and you're not touching anything, but you just stay? ka: when it's just in perfect balance? yea, that's like an engineer's dream kim: an engineer's wet dream. she follows him everywhere. it's because she doesn't trust him. but you have to have trust. it's one of the pillars of a good, strong relationship. --kim-- is being a porn star really that much better than being a prostitute? cause when you're a hooker, at least you don't get filmed. i mean, perverted old men don't keep you in an unmarked box in their drawer for years. okay, so your chances of getting a disease are increased, but by that much? really? --ka-- he's 6' 9" and i'm 5' 2", but it doesn't matter when you're horizontal. --kim-- ka: oh, who's that? kim: jon davis ka: wow, he really let himself go, didn't he? lesbians can't cross jordan! that's crazy! --richard-- the j-word? what, "jizz"? --kim-- bia bia! --richard-- annoying boys upstairs: and then it was like the square root of 943...har har har... greg: fags! ka:the square root of 943...har har... greg: shit, I left my keys in the car! ka: well, you can't go back now. **opening door** greg: queers. ka: come on, everyone knows you can't do the square root of 943. It's a prime number. greg: yea, you can...it's 30 point... ka: **cracks under pressure, dropping keys, while gay boys upstairs hear their mocking** kim: yea, she's (Halle Berry) such a beyotch. ka: bia bia...heh...richard... kim: funny you should mention richard as i read that she's also a big fan of facials. laura: where's JTT? is he a bad guy? (all of this is simultaneous screaming) neil, ka, greg, kim: oh my god! he didn't grab her ass! what is this lower back shit!? what is going on? she was asking for it! kim: the problem with this show is that there are far too many clothes. neil: yea, it should be a nudist show. kim: why is she talking about line dancing? is she implying that they are hicks? just because clark wears a plaid shirt doesn't mean he can't bust a move. ka: yea it does. kim: yea, it does. you know what a big sandwich means...a big plate. --ka-- yea, you always get a pound of meat with a foot long --richard-- kim: bia bia ka: i heard that. kim: damn. i looked like a deer! --ka-- pedophilia is nasty to you, because you're a girl --greg-- kim: oh my god, why are we lettting them score? richard: they know about our bookstore discount!!! kim: what am i wearing? nothing? ka: yea, saran wrap. we have some in green...it will bring out your eyes. can we remember this tomorrow but in a nicer way? --laura-- i said "hey biznatch, yo, yo, peep dis. how many clams it gonna take to straighten this muv?" no, i said "how much will it cost to straighten my hair?" --richard-- |