Long blond hair, sapphire blue eyes, she was the paragon of beauty. Great red rubies were attached to her hair and to the shoulder of her gown. The symbol on her right cheek and the round staff in her hand symbolized the powerful position she held in her clan. Reaching up, as if to grasp an ethereal star, she spoke to herself in a soft voice that tinkled like bells.

�Today is an important day�but why is it important?� She sparkled gently. �What am I forgetting?�

�How about sending out the VERY important Professional Exam Topics you were supposed to send out days ago?� A deadpan voice snapped her out of her reverie.

A white cat with three marks on its forehead stared at her blankly. To Avis, the girl, it was known as you, hey, hey you, it, oy, and occasionally, just �cat�. To the rest of the world, it was known as Ichi. Since it was the descendent of the first servant of the Phoenix clan, which was called, incidentally, �One�. The leaders of the powerful Phoenix clan are not very sharp; since the sharp people are all smart enough to avoid the taxing position of leader. Thus, being not too wise, each new head servant was named Uno, Yi, Eins, and Ichi. In that order. Not one of the Leaders could figure out what came after one.

Anyway�

�How dare you say such a thing to the Leader of the Phoenix Clan?� Avis said in a hurt voice. �You shall feel the vengeful wrath of my magical staff!�

�It�s a spork.� The Ichi said. �Idiot.� It added, just to elaborate.

�It�s practical.� Avis shot back.

�What are you gonna do? Eat with it?� The cat snickered. �It�s friggin� ten feet long.�

�Stop it Cat, besides, I haven�t been neglecting my work.� She glanced at her worktable. A cobweb-covered mess met her gaze. In front of her eyes, a spilled can of�something rose up and engulfed a passing ant. �It�s only been a couple of days.� Avis said finally.

�It�s been three weeks.� The Ichi replied

�So? It�s an easy job, see?� Avis began to randomly stick invitations into the mailbox.

There is a brilliant theory developed by a bored chemistry student as she sat and stared blankly at the ceiling, counting the number of dots on the ceiling. She patented it as the theory of randomness. The theory of randomness states that, if one does things randomly, there is a 99 percent chance that things will not go absolutely, horribly wrong. Then, during her next class, which was, incidentally, Spanish 2, she developed one exception to her new theory. In the case of delivering mail, there is a 99 percent chance that, if you stick random letters into random mailboxes, the letters will all eventually get to the right place. In the case of the 1 percent chance that everything will go wrong, then it will be impossible to redo what was done.

Avis Farrin was very unlucky.

�Shit.� She said.

�You stuck a letter in the wrong mailbox.� Ichi said, a bit too late.

�Two letters.�

�All sent Professional Chef exams are irretrievable by any means.� The sign on the mailbox said.

Avis� scream echoed off of the surrounding mountains, consequently causing two sheep, a turtle, and a wandering Shepard to go instantly blind�er�deaf.

�Three weeks�� a voice muttered. �Three weeks!�

The girl wore loose fitting clothing, reminiscent of a karate uniform, and had her black hair tied up in a tight ponytail. She sat in a meditative pose, with her hands in her lap. On closer inspection, she had her hands in fists, and that special vein that pops out when a person is irritated practically jumped off of her forehead. In front of the girl, who was, by the way, named Rika, sat a think wooden board in which a big butcher knife was imbedded.

�Why. Hasn�t. My. Assignment. Come. YET!?!?!?!?!?!?!� With each word, Rika swung the butcher knife at the wooden board. Finally, she stood, panting with frustration, the butcher knife held in her hands. She looked like an insane ax murderer. Only a rebel to the ax murderer code of honor, one who refused to carry an ax. Right.

Sighing, Rika tossed a bright red jumbo sized tomato into the air. Drawing the sword she kept on her back, she declared, �Phoenix clan special technique number one!� a blur was all that could be seen of her arms.

�HURRICANE OF STEEL!!!�

A final slash, and a perfectly shaped tomato basket dropped onto the flat side of her katana.

Grabbing a piece of roast chicken breast and her butcher knife, Rika rapidly began to chop it to pieces. Her anger vein twitched in time to her blade strokes. A twist of her hand, and mayonnaise was plopped into her mixing bowl. Celery and herbs soon followed. One minute later, a perfect chicken salad nestled in the tomato.

�Asai Rika�s TWO MINUTE SALAD SPECIAL!� Rika proclaimed, lifting the tomato up in victory.

The soft pad of slippered feet caught Rika�s attention. She turned and almost ran into�

�Sino Sensei!� Rika yelped, skidding to a stop.

Brulee Sino was a kind, gentle man in his early thirties. His culinary abilities extend far beyond that of Avis Farrin, Master Chef of the phoenix Clan. If truth be told, based on ability, Brulee should be the Master Chef. However, besides being kind and gentle, he was also smart.

Brulee adjusted his customary, loose fitting robe, and smiled at his wayward pupil. �Rika? What are you doing?�

�Cooking.� Rika said, blushing.

�If you don�t stop cooking, we�ll have to buy a new table.� Brulee pointed at a groaning, creaking table piled with gustatory delights.

Embarrassed, Rika hung her head. � I�m sorry Sino Sensei, I just can�t help being nervous. And when I�m nervous, I�er�cook.�

�I know.� Brulee replied. �And from I see here, I can see that you have indeed paid attention to every single one of my lessons.�

�But I need my test!� Rika said, frustrated. �I can�t pass the Test and be a Professional if I don�t get the final assignment.�

�You mean�� Brulee pulled out a battered envelope. �This?�

�Sensei!� Rika yelled, bashing her teacher on the head with the butt of her katana. �Why didn�t you give ti to me earlier?�

�I must have forgotten.� Brulee said genially �I was reading this really interesting book! It�s called the��

As her Sensei trailed off, Rika eagerly ripped open her envelope.

Students who wish to become Professional Chefs of the Phoenix Clan must past a series of extremely hard tests and one extremely easy assignment. The Master Chef of the Clan sends the simple assignment to each qualifying student at the beginning of spring,. The students have as long as they need to complete it.

With shaking hands, Rika unfolded her letter. On the paper was printed one word. One word that would seal Rika�s fate forever�

Rika�s scream was loud and long enough to rival Avis�.