A Website Dedicated To Helping PWCs Feel Better! My Favorite Lawyer Jokes HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR Just let me say for the record that some of my best friends are lawyers ~ Lawyers and PC's ~      The number of lawyers and personal computers has increased greatly over the last three decades. Unfortunately, the lawyers haven't managed to get twice as fast and half as expensive with each passing year. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ Valentine Cards ~      A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.      His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"      "But why?" asks the man.      "I'm a divorce lawyer" the balding man replied. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ One Liner # 1 ~ Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ One Liner # 2 ~ Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ One Liner # 3 ~ Q: What's the difference between a dead lawyer and a squished skunk in the road? A: The vultures will eat the skunk. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ One Liner # 4 ~ Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ One Liner # 5 ~ Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A: One is a scum sucking bottom dweller and the other's a fish. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ One Liner # 6 ~ Q: If you laid all the lawyers in the world end to end, how far would they reach? A: Into each others' pockets. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ One Liner # 7 ~ Q: Why are attorneys like sperms? A: Only one in ten million turns out to be a human being. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ One Liner # 8 ~ Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50? A: Your honor. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ One Liner # 9 ~ Q: What do you call a lawyer whose gone bad? A: Senator. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ One Liner # 10 ~ Q: What do lawyers use for birth control? A: Their personalities. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ One Liner # 11 ~ Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ One Liner # 12 ~ Q: What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand? A: Not enough sand. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ One Liner # 13 ~ Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A: A Doberman. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ One Liner # 14 ~ Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull? A: Lipstick. HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR ~ One Liner # 15 ~ Q: What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane? A: Skeet. HOME PAGE         NAVIGATION BAR ~ 3 Questions ~ A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates. "$50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?" HOME PAGE          NAVIGATION BAR more to come in the near future..... Don't Forget: Bookmark CFS Success Story's Home Page So You Can Return For Updates & Links!! CFS Success Story is sponsored by: return to HOME PAGE   return to Great Links   return to Happy Links Navigation Bar (in alphabetical order for your convenience) BACK TO TOP OF PAGE Beware Of A Relapse CFS Links Contact Me Disclaimer FAQs Great Links Happy Links Home How I Got Better Lawyer Links Miscellaneous Links My Favorite Doctor Jokes My Favorite Lawyer Jokes SSD Links Vitamin & Nutrition Links             Visitors To This Page FastCounter by bCentral My Favorite Lawyer Jokes   CFS stands for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome.  It is felt there is a problem with the immune system.  Some doctors feel it is all in your head.  But this is not the truth.  There really is a lot of pain.  Some people think they have Lymes or Lyme Disease (sometimes misspelled Lime Disease).  Some people are diagnosed with a diagnosis of MS (Multiple Sclerosis) and some are told they have arthritis.  There is no cure, but there is help.  There is treatment.  There is self-help.  This is a real illness.  It is physical and emotional.  There are relationship problems and financial problems.  There are real symptoms.  Some people think it's associated with AIDS.  Some think it's a virus.  Some think it is caused by stress.  Some think it's psychological or psychosomatic.  Patients are often treated poorly.  I know.  There is often depression associated with CFS.  That's why I've included Doctor Jokes and Lawyer Jokes.  You can apply for SSD or Disability Benefits if you have CFS.  You get this from the Social Security Administration. There are groups that offer alternative treatments.  CFS, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome, AIDS, Lyme Disease, Immune System, MS, Multiple Sclerosis -some people think these may all be related in some way. Diagnosis is difficult. Self-help is available. A cure for this illness is not. Treatment for your symptoms depends on your relationships with your doctors and lawyers. Jokes help relieve tension. CFS may be a virus. Some say it's psychological or psychosomatic or related to arthritis or emotional upset. It can ruin your financial situation. You can get help for depression. You can qualify for SSD (Social Security Disability) by contacting the Social Security Administration. Alternative treatments may be the best way to deal with CFS.