Decade(nce)

With endless debate about same-sex marriage swirling around us, Luis and I have managed to build a nice life together over the past 10 years. He has health insurance through my employer, and we have tons of paperwork to protect us in case one of us gets sick or dies. Yeah, we still don't have the same protections as our parents, but I can't say we're hurting. If you really want to show your commitment to someone, buy property with them.

We celebrated our 10th anniversary at River Cafe in Brooklyn. Even though I'm a native Brooklynite, I had never been there. I was in high school when it opened in 1977, and it was too hoity-toity for my family to ever go there. In college my idea of gourmet was a cup o' ramen noodles, and then I moved away for 13 years. When I came back to New York almost 10 years ago, the price of a fancy dinner was still out of reach. Now, as we enter what could be hard times, we figured we should try it before the price of a fancy dinner slips out of our reach.

One thing I love about Luis is his adaptability to any situation. He is not snobbish in the least. When we first met, I was afraid to bring him to my parents' house because our dishes are Corian, we use paper napkins, and my mother uses one cooking technique: Boil The Hell Out Of [insert name of food]. His mother, on the other hand, uses English china and cloth napkins and makes some of the best French food I've ever eaten. Every time I visited their home I'd keep my hands on my lap for fear of breaking something.

Over the years I've learned to appreciate fine dining, and Luis has learned to like Flintstones cuisine. For our 10-year anniversary we decided we should live a little.

Luis asked the reservations person for a nice table for our anniversary. We were both eager to find out what the place was like, especially because the adjoining Fulton Ferry Landing is my favorite spot in all of New York. Now host to Asian wedding photo ops and ice-cream- and pizza-seeking tourists, it no longer feels like the Special New York Place it once did, but I still love it.

I wanted to find out beforehand what others think of River Cafe. Not surprisingly, there are plenty of people with plenty to say. I try to read restaurant reviews with a jaundiced eye, and I realize that everyone has a different experience. On many review sites axe-grinders gleefully dice up their victims and display the entrails in public forums. But overly sugary reviewers cause tooth decay, so I like to find a middle ground. In this case that was difficult. Diners either love it or hate it. The first people I dismissed were those who whined about small portions, high prices, or long waits. Really, just go to McDonald's, where you can drive through and supersize for mere ducats. One reviewer said, "I have had better steaks at Applebees." So, there you go.

Another reviewer complained about the waiters having phony French accents and said he would appreciate a disclaimer that you are not welcome here "unless you're worth a minimum of $5MM, speak French, drive a Porch [sic], have 5 maids and or wear designer suits & have 3 portfolio managers on speed dial." And then there was the reviewer who said "staff NOT gay friendly." Does that mean the maitre d' didn't offer a hand job? Two men celebrating an anniversary: would The River Cafe disappoint?

Before dinner our friend Andrea came with us to the cafe for drinks. Even though it's steps away from the ferry landing, the inside of the cafe feels like another world. The restaurant sits right on the water, under the Brooklyn Bridge, with a spectacular view of the East River. It was still light out when we arrived at 8:15, and we got to see the sun set as boats sailed by. We drove in air conditioning but were still a bit moist in our suits. The dress code is business casual, so we didn't have to wear ties. (Another "shocking" epiphany in reviews: "I had to wear a jacket!" Go...to..the...Web...site.)

Andrea ordered us a bottle of Prosecco, and we toasted and chatted as the last rays of light faded from the East River just in time for dinner. Andrea left us, and we approached the maitre d' to be seated. He looked at me and Luis and then behind us as if looking for someone else. He seemed surprised that it was just the two of us.

We were seated at a great table near the river side, not right up at the window but close enough. Our Brazilian server was very friendly (not at all "snooty," "rude," or "neglects basic courtesy," as others' experiences with staff were). She presented us with a card from our friends J & F, who had sent us a bottle of Prosecco. We'd already gone through one bottle. What was one more?

The room itself is nothing special but pleasant--and really, the view is the selling point. The room is intimate, with enough space to comfortably enjoy dinner without having to overhear others' conversations or shout over music or bad acoustics. The clientele seemed to be a bridge (and tunnel) mix with a smattering of Europeans. There was a considerable amount of plastic surgery. The magnificent Manhattan skyline was the only reminder we were in Brooklyn.

Some reviewers complained about the inordinate number of people who served them. Besides our Brazilian server, only two other people came near our table to serve us bread and water and clear our dishes. That's a lot compared with Shoney's. You can choose either a 3-course prix fixe dinner or a 6-course tasting menu. We went with the first, which costs a little under $100 a person. For a special occasion this did not seem unreasonable. Some reviewers disagreed: "outrageous prices," "bottomless pockets," "overpriced," "high society," "Trump living." My advice: Do some homework first. Or go to Grimaldi's.

I had two types of foie gras, a Cape Code monkfish/suckling pig ravioli entree, and a sticky toffee pudding--all delicious. Luis had lobster risotto, lamb chops, and a chocolate marquise with a miniature chocolate Brooklyn Bridge sitting atop a floating barge of vanilla ice cream. Each of our desserts had a little chocolate wafer that said "Happy Anniversary." The portions were just right, so I must disagree with "very little food for alot of money."

As we left, we said good night to the maitre d', who looked a little sheepish. "We tricked you," Luis said, laughing. The maitre d' seemed a little embarrassed and said, "It's just that you came in with the lady and I thought she was with one of you. I was just surprised." Then he added, "I hope you had a happy anniversary." So, I don't know, was that NOT gay friendly?

"I just had to say that," Luis said to me later, "because the look on the guy's face was priceless." After 10 years, Luis can still surprise me. He's still as handsome and sweet as the day we met, and anyone that can make me laugh as much as he does deserves to stick around another 10 years...and another 10 years...