Roman à clef (cont'd)
The gentle touch of Lyn’s hand on the crook of his right arm delighted Rey somewhat, as he held up the umbrella for them both against the late afternoon drizzle. The raindrops had caught them unawares a few minutes ago as they made their way to the Department of the Arts and Humanities, walking side by side along the concrete pavement. The time had come for the two of them to face the dragon lady once again, both for the return of his class card, and the submission of her removal exam.
A smile broke on Rey’s face at the thought that he and his friend would have appeared as lovers, bound together under the safety of the umbrella, to the few other students roaming the campus that day. A stray dog passed them by, its brown fur all wet after its cross-campus jaunt through the rain. The dog’s movement across his peripheral vision drew Rey’s attention for a moment, before his thoughts drifted once again to Trevor’s earlier warnings.
Damn you, Trevor, Rey thought. He knew that, for all of Trevor’s doubts about Lyn’s sincerity, his roommate would never experience the happiness that he enjoyed from the simple intimacy that he and Lyn shared that afternoon. Engrossed in pointless writing and guarded cynicism, Trevor had mistaken a simple friendship for a business deal, swapping writing skill for programming prowess, and a woman’s heartbreak for a hard sell. I may not know anything about screws, Rey reassured himself, but at least I know enough not to screw around, specially with wrongly-persecuted women. He brought his left hand up to his mouth, and took a puff from his cigarette.
“Why are you smiling?” asked Lyn, after casting a glance at Rey’s contemplative face. “You always have jokes in your eyes, and you always keep them to yourself.” When Rey returned her gaze with his own, she felt him tremble ever so slightly, hardly the reaction that she expected from the cocksure man who returned her edited paper earlier that morning. They walked on under the melancholy drizzle for a while, their eyes fixed upon one another, before Rey broke the silence with another question.
“Lyn,” Rey began, his voice matching the gentleness of the shower around them. “Of all our classmates in Critical Writing… why me? Why did you call me, instead of… say, Aaron, or some other guy? I mean, you know, we really didn’t know each other until yesterday, right? So what’s the deal, hmm?”
Answering Rey’s question did not take lengthy deliberation from Lyn. Armed with her usual arsenal of coordinate conjunctions, she enumerated her reasons. “Well, I don’t have Aaron’s number, and Myelle was too busy with her thesis, and my friend had your number, and I didn’t really know if you had already gone home, and I was so scared because Miss Bea gave me only twenty-four hours to finish this, and I didn’t know if I wrote it correctly because writing a paper usually takes me a whole week to finish, and I was desperate.”
How Lyn carried on without the slightest pause mystified Rey to the point that his gaze lowered to her phenomenal lungs once more. He then abruptly turned away to get another puff from his cigarette, ashamed of the disgraceful impression that his stare would have given Lyn had she noticed it. When he heard the rest of Lyn’s confession, he nearly choked on the smoke in his throat in surprise. “Ever since the first day of classes, I knew there was something so unique about you. You’re so different from the rest of us in class, Rey. You’re so different from all the other guys that I’d known before.”
Good lord, she likes me, Rey thought in both disbelief and delight, as his lungs gave a violent protest against the caught smoke within. In worry over her friend’s coughing fit, Lyn firmly stroked Rey’s back to help him recuperate. After a few moments spent trying to regain his lost breath, Rey tossed the rest of his cigarette aside, and gave a weak nod to show that he was okay. With a wheeze and a smile, Rey asked, “Really? Different, huh?”
“Yes, you are, Rey. Usually, the guys I know who are smart as you turn out to be introverts, or eccentrics, or both. Look at Aaron, for example. He’s the best writer in our class, he’s the best writer in the whole university, but he’s also… quite odd, if you know what I mean. He’s a nerd, and he doesn’t seem particularly interested in women, and he’s always so serious. It’s like he doesn’t even know how to smile.” Speaking in all honesty and frankness, Lyn described the top-notcher in their Critical Writing class, the only other person who had little to fear from the dragon lady. Throughout the semester, Rey had observed how Aaron earned Miss Bea’s respect by participating in class and following the lessons diligently. In contrast, Rey had only earned Miss Bea’s constant ire, but her antagonism mattered little to him as long as she kept giving him a good grade for his papers. Rey nodded in agreement at Lyn’s description, noting with personal pleasure how Lyn could have described his roommate Trevor perfectly even before she had even met him.
“But you’re not like Aaron,” Lyn kept on with her explanation. “You’re not only smart; you were so sweet to me yesterday, and this morning. And you have such a wonderful sense of humor, on top of everything.” Her pale skin blushed like a tomato upon her next admission. “At first, I thought you were just another clueless jerk like some delinquent, but I guess I hardly knew you. Then again, hardly anybody from our course knew you; some people said you spent more time hanging out at the Institute of Computer Science than at the Humanities.” Rey nodded once more, flashing his customary shark-like grin and paying no attention to what would have been Lyn’s disparaging comment against him.
To quell his excitement over Lyn’s praises, he put forth the question that had nagged him the whole night before. “So… that means… you like me, right?”
“Well, yes. Who wouldn’t? You’re sweet, you’re friendly, you’re funny, and you’re such a genius.” Lyn’s response, full of the frankness and innocence in the same faith that she had professed yesterday, sent him into a dizzy once more. While they approached the gigantic building that housed the Humanities department, he could not help but lower his head in shame over her claim’s falsity.
Please don’t say that I’m a genius, Rey corrected Lyn in his thoughts. Because I’m just a fraud. As much as he wanted to avow the guilt that gnawed at his heart right there and then, he realized that he couldn’t. Paul’s spirit is willing but his flesh is so damn weak, he thought, berating himself for his lack of courage. The uneasiness within him remained unnoticed as Lyn looked away, towards the welcome sight of the lobby ahead of them, which offered them a refuge from the chill and damp of the bleak weather.
His ears ringing as if he were on the verge of fainting, Rey halfheartedly led Lyn to the steps of the sheltering lobby, frustrated with the abrupt end to what he then considered as the most romantic stroll of his life. While Lyn shook the run-off water from her umbrella, Rey came up to her, taking a deep breath to shake off the demons that threatened to destroy him right there and then. Lyn looked up at him upon his approach, and promptly apologized upon remembering her blunder that morning, “Rey, I’m so sorry! I forgot to add your name to my thesis’ acknowledgements before I sent it to the printers. I’m so sorry!”
“That’s okay, silly girl. It’s no big deal, really.” Although the warning bells in his head threatened to launch another deafening and numbing barrage, Rey managed to force one more smile for his friend. “Look, go talk to Miss Bea, okay? When you step out, I want to be the first one to congratulate you for getting your honors.”
“Thank you. For everything. For editing my paper, and for simply being there.” Standing on tiptoe to reach him, Lyn planted a quick kiss on Rey’s cheek. If Rey had only noticed her half-lidded eyes, he would have met her lips with his. As it were, the speed of his reflexes left much to be desired, and he simply stood there, in wonder of it all, holding his right hand to the spot, as Lyn slowly backed away from him.
“I’m going up. See you there.” Lyn’s breathless words brought him back from the heights of his secret bliss. His pulse rate had hardly slowed down when Lyn started heading for the foot of the nearby circular staircase, which led to the teachers’ cubicles upstairs. Regaining his composure and his shark-like grin, Rey cleared his parched throat, and called out to her retreating form. “Hey, wanna run that kiss by me again? I wasn’t ready the last time.” He stood there, waiting hopefully for her answer.
Lyn answered his jest with her words of parting. “I’m glad to know you before I graduated.” She waved at Rey’s immobile form, giving Rey one last look at her beautiful chinita eyes, which seemed to disappear into thin and pretty crescent moons with her smile. “And I wish this doesn’t end here.”
Rey turned away from Lyn’s retreating figure as she disappeared around the staircase bend. With trembling fingers, he took out another cigarette from his breast pocket, and placed it on his lips. The soft breeze wafting droplets all over his upturned face, he took a deep breath from the filter, secretly reveling over the ecstasy that had taken him by surprise only a minute before. The nicotine rush swept over his body, numbing him, as thoughts of Lyn ran through his head again and again. Who’s the man? In his thoughts, he answered his own question. You’re the man, Rey. You’re the man.
"Roman à clef", part five
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