Chinita Dilemma (cont'd)

She stared at the church bell in front of us as she took another puff. �I really don�t understand why we have to go all the way around Laguna just to see old bells like this one. I mean, aren�t pictures on textbooks enough? We really didn�t have to spend four hundred bucks just to see this.� She cast a surreptitious glance at me from the corner of her eye. �Why on earth are you looking at me like that?�

I had been staring in wonder at her exquisite profile. In order to hide my admiration for her beauty, I hid my shyness behind an offhand comment. �It was worth it, though; we had the chance to see so many splendid sights today.�

�Like what?�

�Well...� I paused to think. �The Pakil carvers, for instance. They carved those ornate little birds and butterflies, from such small blocks of softwood, with so much elegance and expertise! I even bought several items from their store.�

Her eyes lit up upon noting my reference to shopping. �Yeah, I got a fan and a back-rubber. They were really cheap.� She returned her gaze to the church bell.

�Laguna�s the most beautiful province in the world.� I stated with solemnity and respect. �Take a look at that over there.� I pointed out the window, to the horizon, where the blue waters of Laguna de Bay reflected the azure sky. �Do you think the pictures in textbooks can capture that for you? That�s why this fieldtrip�s worth the four hundred bucks. It�s a rare chance to see what�s inside, than just looking in from the outside.� I did not expect her to actually understand the drivel that I had mouthed a moment before; most of the women I know who tried barely got past the affirmative �yeah�.

She gave me her full attention as I continued. �You really can�t see inside Laguna from my hometown. But in this little room, everything looks so beautiful. The lake, the mountains, that church bell and�� Knowing that my words would eventually embarrass her, I decided to stop, in spite of my heart�s longing.

I half-expected her to give me the blank stare that usually followed my flowery rhetoric, as was the custom when I launched similar deliveries at her female peers. To my surprise, she beamed at me and returned a casual reply. �And me?�

�Yes, you too.� There was no use denying it, anyway. She had seen it unerringly.

She exhaled slowly, letting the cigarette fumes linger before her lips. �Well, I�ve seen all of this before. Some of my highschool friends live here, and I visit them sometimes. But I know the feeling, you know. Good for you.�

But of course, I thought. I would have slapped myself on the head for forgetting the fact that, although she took her studies up north, she came from Lumban, right at the heart of the province. The scenery did not hold as much blessed allure for her as much as it did for me; her knowledge of what I considered exotic and unfamiliar probably towered in comparison to my experiences in my semi-urbanized hometown, Bi�an.

�So, Tano, it�s better to see what�s inside, huh?�

�That�s right.�

�Well, that�s where true beauty is, after all.�

An inspiring wave of contentment washed over me upon hearing her expressive insight. I was overcome by the intense happiness of finding such a jig-saw piece, whose borders somewhat conformed to the contours of that single important gap in my life. The majority of the other women that I had known before had neither the guts nor the sagacity that Carrie had displayed today. There was something magical, even serendipitous, about being alone with Carrie in the seclusion of that belfry at that moment.

The slight beep from Carrie�s cellular phone signaled the arrival of a text message and my return from the land of magic and jig-saw puzzles. She perused her inbox in haste, her eyes darting left and right as she read the contents of the message. �I have to go,� she said, as she stood up from her seat.

�Aww, that�s too bad.� The disappointment in my voice sounded as though it was in jest; my frustration upon her impromptu exit was for real.

�Yeah, okay. You�re okay, you know.�

I smiled at her compliment. �You�re not bad yourself.�

�Paula�s looking for me,� she explained, before descending from the wobbly wooden beams. �See you at the bus, Tano.�

�Take care on your way down,� I managed to say, just before she made her way down the dark staircase�s abyss once more. My gaze caught one last look at her voluptuous figure before I returned to my previous state of solitude.

The fading afternoon light upon the inner cornices of the belfry underscored my abrupt loneliness. I only remembered the class� fieldtrip itinerary for Paete upon hearing the boisterous laughter of my classmates down below. With a courteous salute to my lone faithful company, the mute and antiquated church bell, I crushed the remainder of my unfinished cigarette on the stone floor before heading downstairs.

I reached the courtyard in a few minutes, after some fancy footwork during my treacherous descent down the belfry�s staircase. Upon stepping out of the church, I noticed that the sunbeams had diffused throughout the cloud-laden sky, blanketing the shrubs and benches that lined the perimeter of the church with a melancholy aura. Several of my classmates had begun their unhurried return to the fieldtrip buses. I passed several street vendors hawking their delectable wares as I joined my classmates in their deliberate migration en masse.

The sight of Carrie at one such sidewalk stand caught my attention. Her friends surrounded both her and the mobile stall, chatting noisily about the latest rumors at the university, obviously enjoying some refreshments before returning to their buses. Every one of them held a pink plastic cup filled with chopped ice, pink-colored cream and chocolate fudge; elementary school students all over Bi�an often enjoyed this cold concoction and called it �ice scramble�.

Carrie turned around for a moment and spotted me en route to the buses. Our eyes met for an instant, and she gave me her beautiful smile once again, with those charming dimples to match. So what if she wasn�t chinita, I said to myself. I managed to catch a glimpse of her giving quick instructions to the ice scramble vendor before my feet carried me past the stall and her social clique.

I was about to draw another cigarette from my pocketed pack when I heard her buoyant and spirited voice call me from behind. �Hey, Tano!� She ran up beside me, holding two cups of ice scramble. Her playful scolding continued as she handed me one of the cups. �Wait a sec. Where do you think you�re going?�

�Back to the bus, where else?�

�Well, here�s something for you. Enjoy.�

�For free? Thanks.� I took her gift with a polite nod. She gave me a wink before returning to the teasing banter of her friends. With the ice scramble in my hand, my shambling feet continued on their way down the road, to join the other students who couldn�t wait to leave the rural setting of Paete.

I thought about my life�s mysterious jig-saw puzzle, and how the wonderful woman named Carrie fit in all of it. Perhaps that gap was reserved for somebody else; I was having too much fun with her right now as a newly-found friend to even consider forcing her piece in to that limited role. Who ever said that she had to fulfill those three conditions, right? And chinita eyes weren�t that important in the first place. That�s not where true beauty is, after all.

Memories of my own elementary school days returned as I tasted the chilly froth; its uncomplicated flavor had not reached my lips in a very long time. I sipped my pink and brown blend slowly, in order to savor the nostalgic taste and prevent an attack of sudden brainfreeze.

Finis

Chinita Dilemma (cont'd)

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