The
story of a woman |
|
|
With
focus on the 15th Amendment there are many who have had the spirit to
openly question the decision and to stand up against it. So
not surprisingly at the mention of the much debated 15th amendment Attiya
Dawood turns particularly vocal. Angrily she says "Do we, the women,
have to explain that we are human beings?' Resolutely she adds that if the
'Taliban kind of Islam" is to be foisted and imposed then, yes, she
would react. She
says, '1nitiating the struggle does not mean we raise our expectations or
expect to see the result by the morrow. What will ensue is that the world
will be a different place only when we raise our voices, as being vocal
will ensure that a better future is provided for the generation that will
follow." Attiya
has toured Iran, China, Bangladesh and Germany but it was not because she
came from a family that was inclined to trot the globe. Born in a remote
village in Sindh, shackled with socio‑religious traditions and
customs, Attiya raged to be free. She strove to empower herself and it is
this that makes her stand apart from so many. A
poet, a feminist and a mother, Attiya joined 'Sindhi Adabi Sanghat', a
platform for people with socialistic and nationalistic ideals. Here, she
came into contact with the late Shaikh Ayaz, the poet was controversial,
but he was undoubtedly also a giant in Sindhi literature. He rated her
poetry as exceptional, she reveals, "and
his praise would make me feel small." The 'Sanghat' held Attiya
in high esteem, "the male members would not sit next to me. I used to
tell them that they could sit by me, for 1 would not harm them. "Since
then the 'Sanghat' has fallen into the control of others with separate
ideals and beliefs." It so happened that when Attiya reached the post
of secretary of 'Sanghat', the 'Sanghat' ousted her. She left the
platform, though her poetry of that period is still remembered. ' ' Little
was known of this poet and feminist until Asif Farruktri contacted her to
translate her poetry into English. It appeared in The News. This was
around the time Attiya joined WAF (Women Action Forum) of which she still
is an active member. The translation of her poetry in English made her
known as a woman activist. She gained new friends around the province and
beyond and whereas her interaction with these people increased the group
she had focussed on previously stepped back. Attiya
has never been ashamed of being a woman. As a single woman she lived
alone, proud of what she was and what she was doing, she censures women
who let themselves be used as puppets on a mate dominated platform and
whose survival is linked to being mere 'yes‑women'. "But this
does not mean that one has to forgo being a woman. "There
is no need. There need be no compromise on the issue of marriage
arises". Attiya insists that marriage should be considered if it
brings about a 'good change'. Personally she longed to be a mother. 1
wanted to touch the limits of love. That was possible only by becoming a
mother. For this, marriage was essential. Unmarried girls dream of prince
charming, 1 dreamt of children. Before 1 had them if an body had asked me
to explain the most beautiful of the
universe or the happiness of life, it would not
have been possible for me. Now it is very easy ‑. Attiya always
wanted to have a daughter, God bestowed her with two. Soonh
Abro, at 8, is a painter like her father Khuda Bax Abro. Her solo
exhibition was held at Alliance Francasise in 1996 when she was just six. Like
many of her kind, Attiya too carries a pain in her heart. The pain of a
loss of a child. A man, even if he
is the father of the lost child, cannot feel. After a miscarriage,
Attyia fell prey to acute depression. She mournfully says, "my
husband could not understand, though he knew its cause. But the charwoman
could feel the pain 1 was going though. Abro has two children, but I
AttiyalDawood, have three children. One of them went without breathing in
this world. After conceiving that baby 1 had planned his whole life. Every
year 1 remember his conception day and the day he was gone incomplete. His
loss was a full funeral for me. Only a woman can love her incomplete
children." Attiya
Dawood recalls, "Nine years ago when I saw Abro, I found him unlike
my other friends. Let me correct it, I felt differently for him. We were
married very shortly after we met. The few encounters would often be
considered insufficient to base even a friendship, but for the two of us,
they were enough to make up our minds to get married. I knew it would work
and so did Abro." This
woman was attracted to Abro's consideration towards his female friends.
She thought that if he had women as his friends, then he would regard his
wife's male friends. According to Attiya, "even if we were not
married, we would have remained good ftiends." The
feminist, plain speaking Attiya discussed marriage quite directly with
Abro and they settled for a wedding that was far from conventional. Not a
traditional tride she was onduty in her office as was Abre, in his office.
"Two hours before the ceremony, we rushed to the bazaar and bought
our wedding finery. The Nikha was held in a friend's house, form there we
left for our own place". The
idea of dowry was abhorrent and was rooted in the days when her
sister‑in‑law would rebuke her that her son would not get to
go abroad for his studies because they would need money for Attiya's
dowry. Extremely angry, Attiya would retaliate with "I'll marry
without a dowry." Her sister‑inlaw could never understand that
a marriage was pqssible without a dowry. Attiya
has struggled to be free of customs and traditions that create pain and
leave nothing but obligations in their wake. "This is what I want to
live for," she says resolutely, I am sure my daughters would do what
I did." Attiya
has achieved what she wanted to as a rebel child. But life is not roses.
The hostilities of people once close makes her feel lonely. “Like
any body else, I want to be loved
too." She
recalls, "As a child and adolescent, I was unaware about 'feminism',
but I was different from the rest of my sex in my surroundings. I
questioned why it was considered that girls could not do what boys could
and to prove myself would carry a heavier bundle of firewood on my
head." Smiling
she recounts an anecdote of when she was about 8 years old, It was
customary to distribute sweets on the birth of a son but not on the birth
of a daughter. So when my nieces was born I took my meager savings and
bought sweets and distributed them, amongst the neighbors. When neighbours
asked the reason sarcastically my mother had to cook a story!' It
was at this time, she says, that she discovered that during the ritual of
'Aqiqa' two goats were sacrificed for a boy and one goat for a daughter.
She took a stand that unless two goats were sacrificed, there would be no
Aqiqa. It
was against the norm for a girl child to travel alone. The young rebel du‑ew
consequences aside and took a train journey up to Nawab Shah where her
sister lived. Traditions
being what they are, women talked of marriage as is the norm. When her
sister‑in‑law or women from the neighborhood would tell her
that one day she would be 'exchanged' in married, young^ Attiya would be
furious, not knowing that her attitudes were the basic reasons that broke
the ground for feminism. “
I had a strong feeling. In ….. while studying in a poor school in a
desolate village, knew I would survive. How, A did not know, but I
would." The
adversities were many and the environment not particularly conducive to
accept an exceptionally intelligent girl among their midst would not deter
Attiya's beliefs in herself. As the family had no land holdings, her
brother decided to move to Karachi for better prospects. Attiya's dreams
were about to be realised. The
family moved to Karachi and Attiya's brother helped in guiding her. Her
questions on religious issues and socio‑economic disparities were
answered by him. Larik,
is Attiya's clan name. When she was in grade 8, her poem appeared in a
magazine. Her brother, though a liberal, took exception and warned her
about indulging in such activities and ignoring her studies. He said one
day her photograph with the name of 'Larik' decorating the title page of
Akhbar-e-Jehan would be spotted if she did not stop. In retaliation,
Attiya told him that if 'Larik' was his title then he could keep it. From
then on, and to this day she. as used her father's name, Dawood. |
Sindhi | Urdu | English | Main Page
Website designed and
created by abroDesign
For design inquiries contact [email protected]
For comments E-mail Attiya Dawood